Tuesday, October 31, 2006

'Tis The Season

I’m not talking about fall, I’m not talking about winter, I’m talking about Figure Skating. There was a time when you couldn't really watch the Figure Skating Season on TV. Mostly because of the structure of the sport. With the addition of the Grand Prix circuit everything changed. This group of invite only competitions involving the world class skaters made it easier to get to know the skaters, their programs, and made an actual Skating Season. After 2002 and the judging fiasco some wonderful changes were made to the sport in regard to the way it is scored and made it even more exciting to watch. Between now and January, there is an event almost every weekend. I can’t wait. Last night, Skate America started airing and, although I haven’t watched all of it yet (the ladies isn’t on until the weekend anyway) I was so happy to look on my TV and see Figure Skating scheduled.

My love of the sport began in ’84 while watching Katerina Witt in the Olympics. I began skating in, I believe, ’87 (I’m sure Mom will correct me if I’m wrong). I was in love with it. I fell even more in love during the ’88 Olympics. To this day, I don’t believe there has ever been a greater Olympic competition; maybe I am just nostalgic though. In Men’s there was the battle of the Brian’s and Browning tried the first Quad. In the Ladies competition we had the battle of the Carmen’s (so sad for Debbie Thomas who was fantastic and could have easily won but kudos to her short program) and Midori Ito burst onto the scene with amazing athletic ability that no woman even thought about equaling for years to come. Gordeyeva and Grinkov dominated the pairs competition with a perfection of grace, athleticism, and love that was magical to watch and American Pairs skating is just now becoming competitive again after Opergard and Watson, not to mention Valova and Vasilyev (the second place team) skated to The Final Countdown. Finally, in Dance, Bestemyanova and Bukin were the most interesting and talented Dance pair I have ever seen and the Duschenays brought innovation and excitement to the most boring skating event there is. It is only recently that people have begun to be able to express themselves in anything approximating that much innovation in Dance. Let's take a second to enjoy Boitano's short program from '88, I chose the short not only because it is shorter but because the musicality is just outstanding. It played fine on my home computer but my work one is too slow and it was not fun to watch but hopefully you have faster computers than they give at non-profits.


As you can see I was kind of obsessed with the ’88 Olympics. I would watch the tapes over and over before my competitions to get motivated. Mom would tell me to remember to have “Boitano Arms” so that I would keep my posture in check. It helped. I sometimes wonder where I would have gone in the sport with different coaches earlier on. I was pretty good and thought I was serious, but I didn’t really get serious until I was in High School and by that time I was thinking of other things and knew I could never get good enough to really make it anywhere. Not that I am really envious of the life of a champion skater, I would have missed out on a lot of fun and probably wouldn’t have made it “all the way” because so few people do but it would have been interesting. I can’t say I have ever experienced a rush equal to that of flying over the ice, leaping into the air, and coming down effortlessly. Then again, nothing feels like lying over the ice, leaping into the air, and coming down on your knee either. It wasn’t until a good year after I stopped skating that my knees returned to a normal color.

For years, skating has been somewhat frozen. Well, actually all fields except for Men’s have been frozen. The men continued to push themselves athletically as well as artistically while the rest of the fields seemed stagnant. Don’t get me wrong, I loved Kwan and Slutskya (probably the two greatest skaters never to win Olympic Gold) but couldn’t stand those little shits that kept coming in and stealing titles. Yeah Tara Lipinski and Sarah Hughes I’m talking about you (Hughes was good though and she kinda deserved it but that Lipinski shit needed to be punched). Don’t even get me started on Sasha Cohen, that little robotic twit looks like someone needs to skate past and smack her a few times then back up and smack her some more. I’m not saying she isn’t a talented skater, but she doesn’t even seem to like to sport. Something is really missing for me when a skater doens't look like they have any passion for what they are doing. I skated for years with her type and they just make you want to die. The real problem with ladies skating was the cessation of any attempt to progress athletically. After Ito and Harding (who fucking rocks by the way and was a really nice person while all the others of her era were stuck up princess bitches) did the triple axel no one even tried it until the last few years. I’m glad to see that the women are back to pushing themselves I hear one of the Japanese women even has a quad.

I have rambled long enough about Figure Skating. I just am so excited that it’s back, it’s fair, and it’s changing. Maybe one of these days I’ll get myself back on the ice. It is truly the only exercise I have ever really enjoyed.

The two songs that weren’t guessed from last week were

1. Standing on the corner of a civilization. There's a time there's a place for me. Naked In The Rain, Red Hot Chili Peppers

2. You are no good. You are a fucking asshole. You are a real jerk. You are a miserable creep. Kill Whitey, Wesley Willis

Friday, October 27, 2006

THINGS THAT I LOVE- PART VII

Ok so I wrote this on Friday but couldn't figure out how to attach the video, cause I'm an idiot. I figured it out. Here we go.

We have reached the end of the week of love posts. It's been a fun journey and I hope it was enjoyed. I never thought so many people would want to comment on pizza, who knew?

I love silly TV. I think this is totally apparent from reading various posts of mine but I wanted to dedicate this to the love of one very special show. This show comes to us via our neighbor to the north, home of many fine readers. It is Degrassi, The Next Generation. Although I watched the original show, I wasn’t an avid viewer. I watch the next generation at every possible opportunity. In fact, I will be watching tonight at about 7pm. Yes, this is how I choose to spend my Friday night.

When Monica and I lived together, she got me hooked on this hot mess of a show. There we were, grown women, obsessing over a show about 8th graders and HS freshmen. I can’t remember if I made fun of her for watching this show before I started watching it too or not. That may have been some other show like ANTM or Project Runway or The OC (which I loved long after she stopped). Either way, we loved us some Degrassi.

All the commercials for Degrassi talk about how the show “goes there” and sometimes they have shows about the “most going there moments”. I don’t watch those shows. Maybe it is because those moments are already imprinted in my brain; Emma’s “social disease”, Manny’s thong, Paige’s rape, Hazel’s claiming herself as a Jamaican, Craig’s alternating between cheating and proposing marriage, Rick’s shooting spree through the school, Ellie’s cutting issues, Jimmy’s ED, Spinner’s religious conversion, Marco’s beating, Liberty & JT’s baby, and my favorite The Mr. Nice Guy song sand by Hell Hath No Fury in the battle of the band’s. How Downtown Sasquatch’s lame sorry I miss you pitiful song ever won the competition is beyond me. How any song could beat this one in regard to teen angst is a mystery to me.

Degrassi isn’t the only age inappropriate thing I enjoy, I also watch South of Nowhere, which comes on right after Degrassi. I also very much enjoy teen movies. They are absolutely the greatest. I can’t say enough about 10 Things I Hate About You. Why am I blanking on all the teen things that I love? I don’t know but I can’t think of them and I know I love them. Not just the classic 80’s ones either, but all of them. It saddens me that my memory is so bad. Anyway, I know I love Degrassi. I hear there is talk of making a movie. I can’t wait. So I just looked on IMDB to see if there was a movie and I didn’t see one but I swear they are making it. Instead I got sucked into threads of discussion written by silly teenagers about Degrassi. If anyone watches the show (keeping my fingers crossed for the Canadians), do you know if Terri woke up from her coma and transferred to another school only to be hit by a car and die? That would be truly bogus. I mean the most exciting thing that happened to her character was the coma but still, what would be the point of her waking up just to be killed?

I hope we get some teenage anthems today for our songs. I know there are plenty of them on that little gadget.

1. Standing on the corner of a civilization. There's a time there's a place for me.

2. You are no good. You are a fucking asshole. You are a real jerk. You are a miserable creep

3. Did you sweep us far from your feet. Reset in stone this stark belief. Cowboys, Portishead. Identified by Brooke.

4. This is the next century. Where the universals free. You can find it anywhere. Yes the futures been sold. The Universal, Blur. Identified by Monica

5. And so she woke up, woke up from where she was lying still. Said I gotta do something about where we’re going. Running to Stand Still, U2. Identified by Shadow Falcon

Thursday, October 26, 2006

THINGS THAT I LOVE- PART VI

Like pizza, this post is about yet another thing that everyone loves, presents. I generally say that I don’t like surprises but I actually sometimes do. I like presents that I am expecting and that I know are coming because they represent things I know I want but I can’t get for myself for various reasons. I like presents for holidays that I am not expecting. However, even more exciting are the totally unexpected presents like I got last night.

Tony’s mother had sent him a bunch of clothes and a lot of them didn’t fit right or weren’t really something he would wear often so he was going to exchange them. He had asked if there was anything I wanted for the house and I suggested maybe a blender. I have a cool little chopper thing but it only holds about a cup of stuff and I can’t make smoothies in it. Plus I think the little container on it has a crack in it so it is certainly not good for liquids. Then again, I know a good blender isn’t the cheapest thing so I told him if it wasn’t really something in the budget it was fine because I know he needed some stuff.

When I got home, not only was there a blender but also a big bag that he said was all for me. He got himself one pair of jeans and a video game (which obviously I will play too). So in the bag was a bath mat (cause you know we needed one), a pillow, a bathrobe, and slippers. The bag was filled with cozy and wonderful things for me. Particularly as it starts to get cold and we all want to be as cozy as possible in the cold. I was floored. Not only did he forgo getting stuff for him but he got stuff for me that was thoughtful and sweet.

See about a year ago when we started living together we had a thing about pillows. There was a good pillow, and a not as good pillow. I always sleep with many pillows so before we lived together, I used a bunch of throw pillows and both the good and not as good pillows. When we started living together I gave him the good pillow (cause he only uses one) and kept the many throw pillows and the not as good pillow. Which was fine by me. So when he got me a nice new allergen free pillow it was a really nice gesture. The bathrobe is the best thing I can think of. It is a total old lady robe. It’s really fuzzy and incredibly soft both inside and out. It goes down to my ankles and has a zipper instead of a tie so it is extra perfect to wear around all day and be all surrounded in warm and fuzzy. It’s like a bathrobe/longie (for those of you who don’t know a longie is just what Monica and I call those old school nightshirt things) and it’s just perfect plus it has pockets! The slippers are great too! They match the robe and are fluffy and warm and nice.

Apparently he didn’t understand why I was so excited and felt so good about things. He basically said he just thought it was the right thing to do. He had an opportunity to do something nice for me and why wouldn’t he. What a nice guy. So yeah, I love presents.

All but one song from the beginning of the week has been guessed and that's not bad.

1. Standing on the corner of a civilization. There's a time there's a place for me.

2. Girl I must warn you I sense something strange in my mind. Situation is serious let’s cure it cause we’re running out of time. Poison, Bel Biv Devoe. Identified by Monica

3. You are no good. You are a fucking asshole. You are a real jerk. You are a miserable creep

4. Sell the kids for food. Weather changes moods. Spring is here again. Reproductive glands. In Bloom, Nirvana. Identified by Monica

5. If you said good-bye to me tonight there would still be music left to write. For The Longest Time, Billy Joel. Identified by Monica

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

THINGS THAT I LOVE - PART V

This is a really random thing to love because it is not easily quantifiable. I love looking at something old and familiar in a new way. I am having a relatively hard time remembering times when this has happened, but I know it does happen and I know I always like it. Luckily for my bad memory, and me it happened just yesterday so I can talk about it like a relatively sane and rational person.

Another thing I really like is books and I like people to give me good books to read. When I was in NYC recently, Shoshana gave me two books Tender Is The Night and Motherless Brooklyn. I read Tender Is The Night first and thought it was pretty ok. It certainly didn’t make me look at things in a different way though. I am now reading Motherless Brooklyn. The book is just hilarious. The main character is tourettic and the descriptions of his tics and the mental processes leading up to these tics are wonderfully written. One thing, however really struck me. This is not a spoiler so don’t worry.

Music had never made much of an impression on me until the day in 1986 when, sitting in the passenger seat of Minna’s Cadillac, I first heard the single “Kiss” squirting its manic way out of the car radio. To that point in my life I might have once or twice heard music that toyed with feelings of claustrophobic discomfort and expulsive release, and which in so doing passing charmed my Tourette’s gulled it with a sense of recognition, like Art Carney or Daffy Duck – but here was a song that lived entirely in that territory, guitar and voice twitching and throbbing within obsessively delineated bounds, alternately silent and plosive. It so pulsed with Tourettic energies that I could surrender to its tormented, squeaky beat and let my syndrome live outside my brain for once, live in the air instead.

Prince is another thing that I love, but that isn’t what is important. What is important is that I immediately began to think of “Kiss” and tried to put myself in that position, to hear the song the way this character heard it. My iPod was almost out of power but as soon as I got off the train I put in my headphones and promptly dialed up “Kiss”. The passage made so much sense. The staccato rhythms, the periodic Prince outbursts it all made me feel the way that reading the book made me feel. I listened to various Prince songs the whole way home (which meant like 2 songs) but I could see why Prince was this character’s favorite artist. Not every song was as obvious as “Kiss” but in everything I listened to the sporadic yet predictable nature of it was evident. I don’t know if I will ever listen to Prince in the same way again.

I don’t think this knowledge will either heighten or diminish my love of Prince in any way. I just think this passage was the beginning of a greater listening revolution. We all know that music evokes emotion, but can it also evoke condition? Can listening to a particular piece or style put us in a mind state similar to that of a person we would never think twice about trying to understand on that deep of a level. What does it say about how we all hear music differently? Even if two good friends love the same band do they love it for the same reasons? Do they even hear the same things behind the music? Anyway. As I love books, Prince, music, and revelations yesterday was a very good day for me. We have a few new songs today, as usual. Get guessin!

1. The morn the morn the morn that I was born my old man beat up the Dr. he clocked the Dr. because the Dr. said I looked like Chewbacca. Why Is Everybody Always Picking on Me, The Bloodhound Gang. Identified by CSMC

2. Standing on the corner of a civilization. There's a time there's a place for me.

3. Well you’re dirty and sweet clad in black don’t look back and I love you. Get It On, T-Rex. Identified by Shadow Falcon

4. I’m not your woman I’m not your man I am something that you’ll never understand. I Would Die 4 U, Prince. Identified by The Doc

5. You’re a white-collar boy and you gave into the law. White-Collar Boy, Belle and Sebastian. Identified by Monica

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

THINGS THAT I LOVE- PART IV

I love pizza. I don’t think this makes me a particularly unique person whatsoever. I think most people like, if not love pizza. What is it about a mess of bread, cheese, sauce, and toppings that makes people so happy? Is it that bread and cheese are some of the best foods in the world? Probably so. Is it that with pizza, the consumer has a choice and they can always have it the way they like it? Probably so. Does it make sense that a food so customizable, so potentially different would be so universally loved? Probably so. The only question that remains then is; why do I care? Why am I so fascinated with pizza? I guess it is because I am just like everyone else.

Currently I live in Chicago, so I’ll start by talking about pizza here. I tend not to be a huge fan of the Chicago-style deep-dish pizza. It isn’t bad; it’s a pizza. Something about it though isn’t quite right with me. I think that the crusts are typically delicious. The cheese, however, tends to get lost to me since it is at the bottom of the pizza rather than the top. The sauce tends to also be delicious, nice and chucky and full of tomatoes but I find it generally overpowering. I read somewhere that this style of pizza started in the depression when casserole (or hotdish as weird Minnesotans that are not me call it) was king. They just threw a bunch of stuff together and baked it. Makes sense to me. However it is no longer the depression (although it feels like it sometimes) and we don’t have to eat that way anymore. It reminds me of the question, why do people still eat chitterlings when they have more options than the leftover remnants from the butcher? Some things we may never know.

Another Chicago-type pizza is the stuffed pizza. I love this type. Some people may question how it is that I love stuffed pizza when I don’t like deep-dish but others will understand it. My explanation is this; the stuffed pizza is all about the cheese. You won’t have to search for gooey goodness in this dish. I will go out on a limb and say that my favorite stuffed pizza is from Pizza Capri on Belmont and Sheffield. However, I haven’t had it in years and it is possible it is no longer as good as I remember so if it got bad don’t blame me. In case you don’t know. The stuffed pizza has a relatively thick bottom crust, a thick layer of cheese and whatever toppings you so desire, a very thin top crust, and sauce on the top. Part of what make Pizza Capri’s dish so wonderful is the crisp and flaky buttery delicious crust.

I am also a fan of thin crust pizza. I don’t generally love the super thin cracker crust type pizza but some places do it well and I won’t complain. What I will complain about is how many Chicago pizzerias have the audacity to cut their thin crust pies in squares. Maybe I am the nut here but pizza is supposed to come in slices, each slice with its own crust that you can hold onto (important if you eat your pizza like a normal person which I don’t but that will come later) not in a bunch of squares so that the middle pieces have no crust and although they are deliciously cheesy and toppingy they are undeniably messy. The best thin crust pizza in Chicago I will hand to Ranalli’s. They have a crust with a good thickness and a mighty fine sauce that can stand up to the many toppings you will have on your pizza. Why so many toppings you ask? Because all toppings after the fourth are free!!! You heard it folks, top all you want, we won’t charge you. I will often get pizza with like eight toppings on there and it is so incredibly yummy. Plus they have a colossal list of ingredients so you truly have everything to choose from.

However, in my opinion, no matter how good a thin crust pizza is in Chicago, it has nothing on NY pizza. The huge floppy slices with the greasy cheese and the almost non-existent sauce and just varieties of pies at your disposal is absolute pizza heaven to me. The most common complaint I hear is the blandness of the sauce, that’s what the shakers of oregano, red pepper flakes, and Parmesan are for folks. The thing with a NY pizza is you can truly taste everything because nothing is overpowering. Plus I can order eggplant on my pizza and no one will look at me funny. Ranalli’s has eggplant as a topping option but not too many Chicago places will let you go there (unless they’re fancy). The thing with ordering eggplant in NY is that in some places you will get nice deli-thin sliced eggplant rounds, others you get chunks, and still others you get little cut up pieces of eggplant parmesan. All are delicious. Since I no longer live in NY, I will have to say the best place I can think of is down the street from Sister’s house on Arthur Ave in the Bronx. Their brick oven pizza was fantastic! The regular slices didn’t look too shabby either. The pie came out so nice and crisp yet still floppy in the right places and the eggplant was divine.
To finish off this post (I would really like a slice) I will talk about how I like to eat pizza. Those of you who have enjoyed pizza with me know it is quite an endeavor. I need a knife and fork to eat pizza, no matter what kind it is or how it is sliced. I will always eat the crust first and have before pizza hut stole my thing with their stuffed crust deal. Why, because it’s my least favorite part that’s why. Even the best crust doesn’t have cheese (well the stuffed crust does but that cheese tastes strange like they rolled some string cheese in butter and tries to pass it off as yummy). Then I will cut off the top of the pizza closest to he crust and eat that section first. I’ll work my way down a little bit from that end. Then, I’ll turn it around and work my way up thus leaving the middle section of the pizza to eat last. Why, because it’s my favorite part that’s why. I also like to take my pizza apart and enjoy the cheese and the crust separately. I often do this inside my mouth but sometimes I do it on the plate. Occasionally I will chew a bite all together just to see how it tastes. It usually tastes good but not as good as separately. I actually always save the best bites to eat last, no matter what I am eating. I hate it when someone goes for a bite of my food and they take my saved best bite, I mean I put it aside on the plate for a reason people. Anyway, this has been a really long post about pizza. If I were to have a pizza parlor what songs would be playing? Let’s guess and see.

1.The morn the morn the morn that I was born my old man beat up the Dr. he clocked the Dr. because the Dr. said I looked like Chewbacca.

2.Lady called the blue boy love she took him home made himself an idol yes so he turned to stone. Blue Boy, Joni Mitchell. Identified by Mom

3. In my little town I grew up believing God keeps his eye on us all. My Little Town, Paul Simon (and yes sung by Simon and Garfunkle). Identified by Mom

4. Now here’s a little story I got to tell about three bad brothers you know so well. Paul Revere, Beastie Boys. Identified by Brooke.

5. Standing on the corner of a civilization. There's a time there's a place for me.

Monday, October 23, 2006

THINGS THAT I LOVE- PART III

Before I start this post, make sure you scroll down and check out the old pictures of Cho-Cho my Mom sent me. Not only is the bear adorable but look at me! Ok that was shameless. On with the post.

Today I want to talk about a love that blossomed about ten years ago. This is my love of shoes. I had a fondness for shoes long before my Sr. Year of High School but this is the time when I was allowed to truly venture into the world of heels. Kudos to Mom on that one, I didn’t need to be sauntering around SW High School in heels at 13. Plus, they are really bad for your legs. Today I have problems finding a pair of flats that are truly comfortable. Anyway, the obsession started with a pair of Steve Madden sandals that were made of a bunch of leather straps and kind of tied up the foot and had a nice 2 or so inch chunky heel. I thought they were fly. One of my friends thought they looked like a torture device. They were actually very comfortable though because of the ties you could adjust every part of the shoe.

As the years progressed so did my taste. I was a fool for platforms. I spent much of my time in college perched on some 5in sling-back peep-toed tan and brown suede cow-looking shoes trekking up and down a very steep hill multiple times a day. In retrospect I have no idea how I didn’t fall down that hill and am quite amazed that I went up and down that hill so often, I don’t know if I still could. I don’t wear them too often anymore (but sometimes). I mostly use them to reach things in the tall cabinets when Tony isn’t around. One thing I learned with those shoes though, was the power of the super sale. I bought those beauties for like $30 and they had originally been $130 or something. I have relatively small feet so good looking sale shoes in my size are not that hard to come by.

So now that I have rambled a little, time to get to the point, my two favorite pairs of shoes that were at least $100 off. I tried to narrow this down to one pair but I just couldn’t. I’ll start with the first purchase, the silk-screened Prada. These shoes are just beautiful. I found them on sale at Barney’s in NY and they were a whopping $200 off. I don’t think I have ever worn them outside (maybe once). Most of the reason for that is they are not particularly good for long walks and I have a bit of a hike to the train. Actually, they took a lot of breaking in but since I work in an office and only really have to walk to the bathroom, lunchroom, water fountain, copier, etc. they didn’t have much of a chance to be broken in. I can now wear them a full day without being in pain. Even so, with all the drama, I love my super sale shoes. They always turn a few heads with their stunning lines and beautiful patterning. I really can’t complain.

Pair no. 2 was actually a present from Tony. I thought he was having a hard time finding me a Christmas present and I mentioned that if he was having trouble thinking of something for me, these really cute (ok I think they are really cute, I realize a lot of people think they are awful and don’t match themselves and those people are kind of right but the shoes work for me) Marc by Marc Jacobs shoes were $150 off and I loved them although they were a little expensive even with the sale and if he didn’t want to no pressure. We had agreed not to spend that much on each other. I had got him a really nice chess set, "The Areas Of My Expertise" by John Hodgeman (which was sold out throughout Chicagoland and I had to hunt for it for weeks), and salt and pepper shakers (because he kept saying how we needed them and I thought it would be fun). Anyway, to make an already too long story longer, he had already got me a kick ass fondue set with a grill attached but thought he had to get me the shoes too. We agreed to open one present a day before all the others. I opened my lovely shoes; he opened salt and pepper shakers. He had thought the salt and pepper shakers were a PSP because I had told him I had a really hard time finding one of his gifts (the book). He was pretty upset. We now laugh about it but things were touch and go there for a few minutes. I should also say that these shoes are incredibly comfortable and I could go dancing all day in them. Now if only I had some music to dance to….

Seeing that it is a new week, we are back to guess that tune. Hooray!

1. I see us in the park. Strolling the summer days of imaginings in my head. Knocks Me Off My Feet, Stevie Wonder. Identified by Mom

2. When I was here before. Couldn’t look you in the eye. You’re just like an angel. Your skin makes me cry. Creep, Radiohead. Identified by Mom.

3. The guilty undertaker sighs. The lonesome organ grinder cries. The silver saxophones say I should refuse you. I Want You, Bob Dylan. Identified by Brooke.

4. The morn the morn the morn that I was born my old man beat up the Dr. he clocked the Dr. because the Dr. said I looked like Chewbacca.

5. All right stop what you’re doing cause I’m about to ruin the image and the style that you’re used to. The Humpty Dance, Digital Underground. Identified by Dad. (oh I rock this song at kereoke btw)

Saturday, October 21, 2006

THINGS THAT I LOVE- PART II


I was thinking of what deserved to be the next thing in the list of things that I love. I decided on Cho-Cho, the best bear in the world. I have had Cho-Cho since I was two years old. He was a Christmas present from my Grandma Mary (although I learned last year that my mom actually picked him out). I believe his name is supposed to be Chocolate for his coloring or maybe that just makes sense so I assume that as an adult. I wish I had the picture from when Cho-Cho was new because he truly was gorgeous (and my ever helpful mother sent me one, that is Sister in the picture with me). Not that he isn’t gorgeous now, but he has obviously been…very loved.

When I got Cho-Cho he was taller than me (well maybe not quite after I looked at the pictures again but I remember him being taller than me). He was an excellent dance partner. He was also an excellent sleeping partner, kind of like those body pillows that us grown-up people sometimes have. He was also a great thing to sneeze on, throw up on, spill things on, etc. He loves me though so it’s ok. That bear has been cleaned so many times it’s scary.

Until I was about 7 (correct me if I’m wrong, Mom) I lived in a room with my sister and we had an awesome blue bunk bed with a slide. I lived on the top bunk and so did Cho-Cho. Beside the bed, there was a lamp that had convenient little on off switches that I could reach from bed. It was great for reading. One day, I didn’t turn of the lamp and I left Cho-Cho sitting up beside it. When someone came back into the room, we discovered that Cho-Cho had a nice hole burnt in his neck. Guess who came to the rescue? Mom, of course. She sewed Cho-Cho’s burnt neck right up and he was good as new, so to speak. Actually the burn dent in his neck is perfect size to put your neck into and have a wonderful cuddly experience (dent is easily viewed above). Maybe post burn he was even better than new?

Then, when I was about 11 or so my allergist told me I had to get rid of my stuffed animals. See Cho-Cho was one of MANY. The other greats included Ringo (a tan bear with a green and white polka dotted bow tie who i got at the same time as Cho-Cho and the three of us are pictured here together on that wonderful christmas morning), Pandy (a panda bear), Lisa or Ellie (an elephant (one name was for my elephant one for my sisters) my memory kind of sucks sometimes but I think mine was Lisa), Pam-Pam (a doll I got around the same time as Cho-Cho and as you can see I liked to name things twice), a Beaver who may or may not have had a name but was really cool, an Ewok, a Snoopy, and many others. I was not happy about this forced removal of my friends. These guys and gals lived in my bed with me and I was not cool with sending them to boxes in the basement (where they live to this day). There was no way that Cho-Cho was going to the basement though and he lives in my bed to this day.

Once, in college, my friend Ben-man hit Cho-Cho. I promptly hit Ben-man. No one messes with my bear. He is my friend. I love him. I am very glad that Tony likes Cho-Cho. Even though he now mostly lives in the crack between the bed and the wall or smushed up by my pillows, Tony would never hit him. In fact, as I think I have mentioned, I sometimes find them sitting next to each other watching TV. Cho-Cho hasn’t been mad about getting pushed aside in bed though; he understands that I have grown up. Tony often asks me if I will give Cho-Cho to our kids (years down the road of course). Besides the fact that the poor bear is probably too old, musty, and falling apart to be around young kids, I don’t know if I could give him up. I can vomit on him but not some other kid (even if it were my kid). I think that would piss me off. I think Cho-Cho is staying with me. Anyway, my kid deserves their own friend for life. I only hope their friend is as good as mine.

Sing song lullaby time.

Truth is Stranger Than Hype, Jello Biafra- I like Jello a lot but MAN can that guy talk. Tony and I went to hear some of his spoken word, which was awesome, but he took an intermission after 3.5 hours. We felt bad about leaving before it was done but it had been 3.5 hours, come on. We weren't the only ones.

Ghouls Night Out, The Misfits- This is also a rather Tony influenced liking. I really like it though. I can't explain how odd I find it that I listen to and enjoy this kind of music. 16-year-old Natalie would be really upset at me right now. At least I still like most of the things she liked.

The World is Yours, Nas- Nas is good. In case anyone didn't know, Nas is a very talented guy. I bet you are wondering who I downloaded or rather purchased Illmatic for just a few days ago. Right again, it was Tony. I really do have my own music on my shuffle game, I promise.

Friday, October 20, 2006

THINGS THAT I LOVE- PART I

I have decided to have a nice little theme for the rest of the week called things that I love. Many of you may assume that I will write about Tony, or my wonderful friends, or my fantabulous family but I won't. Everyone knows I love those people and I write plenty about them anyway. These will be slightly more random things that I lovee. The first is a thing that often gets mentioned on this fun little page. This thing is my couch.

One day, Tony and I decided we were going to go shopping for a dining room set. See we have this adorable little sunroom that acted as a storage closet for the first year we lived here. I decided it would be the perfect size for a 4-seater dining room table, and it is. But that is another story. So we are looking at Broadway Antique Market for a dining room set and I turned this corner and came upon a couch. This was not just any couch; it was a vision of loveliness. Birds started tweeting and the stars came out. In the store, the couch was set up in a big square. When arranged as such it was about the size of a king sized bed. I ran to find Tony and brought him to it. He was as impressed as I. We had to have it. The couch we had was free and ugly and came with the apartment, we really did have to have it.

The couch cost more money that we really were planning to spend. Remember we were looking for a cheap dining set. The couch happens to be a Milo Baughman design (for any of you who know about furniture it may mean something, it didn't to me) and was from 1979. It wasn’t cheap. It wasn’t unreasonable either. I start to have a "what if someone else buys our couch panic" so I call my Mom. My birthday was coming up, in like a month, and I asked if she would pay for some of the couch as my birthday present. She said she would, she is a really good mom. Then I did something bold and daring. I asked if she would call the store and buy the couch for us and then we would pay her back for the rest of it because that way we could get it right away and not have to wait for checks to go in the mail. She said she would, she is a really good mom. Like a spoiled dork I called the store and told them I wanted the couch and that “My Mommy would be calling to purchase it”. Tony made much fun of me for that one, and I deserved it.

When we got home, we realized the couch was not going to look right in out living room. We took the room that is supposed to be a dining room but was the book and computer room and moved it into the old living room thus making room for the couch. It was a serious process. I have a lot of books. It had to be done, for the couch’s sake. Plus, the room that used to be the living room has no light in it (switch but no light) and we didn’t even realize that we were leading a life of needless darkness. Mere days later, our couch arrived. We had a hell of a time arranging it to our liking but we got it done and promptly began to relax. It is a heavenly place of joy and happiness. I like to have people over and we can all sit on the couch and all be comfortable. Plus the house flows better with this room arrangement. My couch, my couch, what would I ever do without you.


Now, because you can't totally tell in the picture, because it is darker than it is supposed to be and because of the angles, you can't really see the shelving, the couch's best feature. See those things like the lamp, Jabba the Hut, The Electric Mayhem, etc, are actually on a little shelf that is attached to the couch and upholstered as part of the couch. You never have to look for somewhere to put your cup, snack, beer, etc. Couch is wonderful. I love couch. And yes, my table has clutter and my house is not spotless. It is pretty clean for me in this picture though so give me a break.

Now, for songs you may catch me listening to while lounging on my couch. For the record, my favorite spot is in that corner by the lamp. Tony's favorite spot is in the same place. Somethimes we steal each other's seat.

Take On Me, A Ha- I had this great mix CD that I brought home on I think a Christmas visit and forced my family to listen to. We actually had Dad singing the chorus on this one. He indulges us ladies in the family a lot. Thanks Papa.

Up From The Skies, Jimi Hendrix- After that last survey, you all know how I feel about Jimi Hendrix. I love him and his music. I kind of miss the Hendrix black light poster I had in college. I left it in the Sr. Year common room (along with my boom box) because I was in such a hurry to get the hell out of there. Now I'm all nostalgic and want to go back, kinda. Go figure.

Go Go Gadget Gospel, Gnarls Barkley- In case anyone doesn't know St. Elsewhere was amazing. So amazing that you'd listen to it over and over. Then you realize you never really want to hear it again for another six months at least. That doesn't take away from the fact that it is truly awesome and excellent though.




Thursday, October 19, 2006

IT'S ALL OVER

Jeffrey is the well-deserved winner of Project Runway. I am a happy camper. In my post More Project Runway To Talk About I said that Uli would take it with Jeffrey coming in second (that post also has links to the collections so you can see them again if you are curious). Just so you guys know, I switched the two of them around in the post like a million times. I would have been happy with either one getting the win. I have to say with all the hell Jeffrey went though with the accusations and all I am really glad he won. Not to mention his collection was just awesome. I still haven’t totally decided if it is fair that someone with his own line gets to win money to start his own line but they let him on in the first place so oh well. I am also very glad Uli came in what appeared to be a very close second. She put out an awesome showing.

Uli’s collection was flowing and beautiful. The colors were great (although they didn’t flow into one another as well as in Jeffrey’s collection) and the audience loved it. I wasn’t too much of a fan of her music though. Jeffrey’s collection was just amazing, I wasn’t all that into his music either, it worked but I think something with a little more bass would have worked better. His blue long dress was an awful mess. If Uli had designed it, it would have been wonderful. The judges didn’t like his other blue dress that looked straight off the body of Lucy (peanut’s Lucy) but I liked it. He did a fantastic job of segueing from one color palate to another in the order of his pieces. It was just a much more professional show than the others. Of course, as I have often said, he is a professional.

Now, let’s talk the losers. Michael was out first and everyone was sad about it. There was just no denying that his collection wasn’t right. He will still make it in the fashion world, he is a very talented designer, he just has to grow up a little. It was a little hard to watch him receive the not so flattering comments. You could just tell that he knew he wasn’t going to win, a hard place for a guy who is used to being on top. He did win the Fan Favorite though and that was nice. I was momentarily scared with Laura’s collection, not because of the clothes, but because of the music. She did an excellent job picking the music for her show. It almost made me like the feathers. Granted she had a few pieces that were pretty nice. Still, I thought that perfectly chosen music might have stolen the show. As a former figure skater, I truly appreciate the pairing with music and costuming. No one came close to Laura in that category. I was very relieved to see her go. She does have a career in fashion though, they all do. I just won’t be buying her icky clothes.

I wonder what all those Jeffrey haters out there will be saying. I hope they don’t try to deny how wonderful his collection was. I can see them saying Uli should have won. It was a close race and could have gone either way.

I wonder whose collections my songs will go with, let’s see.

End of the Century, Blur- I would have to give this to Jeffrey’s collection. Not that it is a particularly good match, although it could work if properly edited, but it would not work at all with the others. Blur is awesome by the way. In case anyone doesn’t or hasn’t listened to them at one point stop what you are doing and download some of their music. NOW.

April in Paris, Thelonious Monk. Obviously this would be Laura’s Collection. However, the music she picked was better. I really loved that music.

Alive, Daft Punk- This would have to go with Street Safari Michael. It would actually work very well. His music was very unmemorable to me. I think this would have been better. Best match by far.




Wednesday, October 18, 2006

A LATE MORNING

Last night an awesome friend named Wo who is in school for massages invited me over for a night of massage, Othello, and cookies. He is a good massager. It is better than me by far at Othello (I haven’t played for ages in my defense), and he makes good cookies. I also became a sneezy fest monster because he has a zoo and I forgot to take allergy meds. But it was ok cause I love his sneezy affectionate zoo friends. I went home, took meds felt better and went to sleep. Well actually I talked to Tony and we took a bunch of Blogthings quizzes over the phone because he was lonely since his mom went out on the town and he didn’t want to go. Apparently if someone were to paint my portrait it should be Andy Warhol, Klimt should paint Tony. Those are the only results I am posting cause it’s all that matters. Oh, and Tony is Animal if he takes the Muppet quiz about himself but if I take it thinking about him he is Fozzie.

When I woke up this morning I was an asthmatic wheezy mess so I called work, told them I would be late, and went to bed. It could have been the zoo or it could have been that I have had a lingering cough for ages. Who knows? I would have stayed home all day but the new volunteer director asked me to coordinate the practice interviews for our employment class today and I said I would. I am sure someone else could do it but I didn’t want to ask anyone and I feel better now. Not wheezing.

Tony will come home today. He really wanted to come home last night but didn’t think about it until 7pm and the last train was at 7:30 so it wasn’t going to happen. I’ll see him soon and it will be nice. We will watch Top Model and the Project Runway finale (and so should everyone else in the world cause it’s gonna be great!) and things will be back to normal.

I think my skirt is done de-wrinkling in the steamy bathroom so I should go put it on and get to work shortly. Have a nice day. Think of me strolling down the street to the train to these tunes.

Dead, They Might Be Giants- I don’t want to be dead. I am also still alive and there are things I want to do. It is still a very fun song. TMBG have a great talent for not always happy songs to happy tunes. I love that about them.

OOH Child, The Five Stairsteps- This song is great and the world loves it. The last time I heard it was at Taco Bell after mini golf. It was a welcome change to the very strange things they were playing. There was one that went “I tried to tell you but it came out wrong, so I had to say I love you with a song,” man it was awful.

Love For Tomorrow, Isobel Campbell- Isobel’s first album Amorino was outstanding and I thought that her leaving Bell and Sebastian might actually have been ok because B&S were still great and she was great on her own. Tony and I went to a concert to see her. Apparently she had made a second album (that hadn’t been released in the US yet). No more were the sweet jazzy stylings of Amorino; she had gone straight Glaswegian folk. The room cleared, it was no good. I was mad.

Monday, October 16, 2006

A DAY WITHOUT BOYFRIEND

(It's kind of like a day without Mexican’s, which I believe was inspired by the play A Day of Absence (no Black People in the South in slave times extra funny when people the white folks thought were white disappeared too)).

When Boyfriend goes to mother’s house to relax after a grueling bit of schooling, Girlfriend is left home alone (albeit for only a night or maybe two). What oh what is Girlfriend to do?

1. Dishes. Things in the kitchen were not as she wanted them to be.

2. Dinner. Girlfriend was planning to eat oatmeal for dinner because there is no food in the house and it is raining. Girlfriend then realizes that oatmeal for dinner would never be acceptable if Boyfriend were home (not only because Boyfriend doesn’t like oatmeal either, she just wouldn’t cook something that bogus and neither would he). Girlfriend decides she doesn’t deserve oatmeal for dinner. Girlfriend realizes she is having an emergency. Girlfriend uses emergency credit card to order dinner (hopes this is not one of the few posts Boyfriend reads cause he might have an emergency too). Will save oatmeal for breakfast.

3. TV. Girlfriend excitedly sits down to watch the next installment in her "Dr. Who The Key of Time" series from Netflix (which has been around for about a month because Boyfriend is rarely in the mood for Dr. Who although he likes it fine (and who blames him?)) only to realize that although Dr. Who is available, it is not a part of the Key of Time series. Damn Netflix. Girlfriend is not sure if she should still watch it. Probably will but will write blog post first.

4. Write blog post. Time has caught up with Girlfriend. Not sure what to do, am in odd situation. Like catching up myth my future self. Will return after Dr. Who and dinner.

5. Speak with Boyfriend. Boyfriend is having fun with his mom. He is also in the accompaniment of a farting dog.

6. Fall asleep briefly. Hope it doesn’t ruin my chances of sleeping when I truly want to.

7. Read new comments. Seems people see my powers of floating returning as some sort of a joke. I’m not joking, people. Ask Roxanne. I chose to float to her because she is the only one who believes me. She is the only one who has known me long enough to remember that time. She is the only one who deserves it.

8. Realize people will think I am insane. Don’t care.

9. Go surfing the random blog button on bestest blog. Find someone whose blog is called “I Have Nothing Interesting To Say Or Do I?” Leave a comment about how I feel like I just showed up at a party in the same dress as someone and promptly change the title of my blog to “I Think This May Have Gotten Almost Interesting---Read Me Still.” If anyone has me in a blogroll under the old title don’t feel like you have to change it. Not that serious.

10. Read the rest of her blog. Realize she should have changed her blog's name instead of me because I started mine first. But that is petty and I would never demand that and in case she reads this (which she probably won’t but I did leave her a comment so maybe she will) I don’t really think that at all. I was actually thinking of changing my title for some time because I actually began to think that this somewhat interesting. Look at this post. Realize there is nothing interesting about it. I must be delusional.

11. Get scared of this bitacle thing. Realize I have no idea how to look and see if they are stealing my stuff. Decide they are not. Relax.

12. Get scared again after reading many more posts about this meanness. Search my post title from yesterday. They got me. Have to decide if I care. Kind of care. Have to decide if I care enough to do anything about it. Kind of unsure.

13. Realize they have like everything I've written. Get madder. Still don’t know if I care enough to do anything. Man I am a lazy bitch. Then again, I hate those stop Bitacle things at the top of posts because it isn’t pretty. I like pretty. Any ideas anyone?

14. Wonder if I should be doing higher tech things on my blog. You know, higher tech like a hit counter and one of those things where you can see who is looking at your blog and from where? It seems kind of interesting. It seems others are doing it. Then again, do I care enough to figure it out? I am bad at technology. I only added links when I switched to beta and it became easy.

15. Come across a blog called Sim’s Blog. Think briefly about getting back into SIMS all hardcore again and creating a blog based on the life of a Sim. Man that would be the ultimate in geek. I bet Monica would do it with me.

a. SIMS blog would look like this- Today had party. Drew Carey came. Built a wall around a group of dancing partygoers, waiting for them to die. Man it’s funny when they pee on themselves. Ima Houseboy caused quite a commotion in the house when he slept with Frank and Steve (yeah Monica I know his name wasn’t Steve) within seconds of each other. Slapping ensued.

b. SIMS2 blog would look like this- Had a baby, It has an awful smushed up face and I am very scared that it will never be cute. No one will be it’s friend. Aliens kidnapped Brian. He gave birth to an alien baby from his rear end. It was even grosser than when the ladies give birth. Meadow went to college, the slut. Slept with her professor. Had roaring toga party. Police were called.

I hope I never get to that point. If I do, everyone stop reading and leave me comments saying you have stopped because I went completely mad.

16. Decided that I am going to get into bed. I plan to watch TV, although Daily Show and Colbert won’t be the same w/o Boyfriend. Damn. I hope he comes back tomorrow.

17. Realize I wrote two posts in one day. Think that is not ok. Just too much blogging. Will not post this until tomorrow.

18. Put on songs.
Battery, Metallica- Uh. I don't like Metallica. Tony kind of sort of does sometimes. As I have often mentioned I have lots of his music on my iPod. I can’t say anything else about this.

Roll With It, Ani DiFranco- This is way more up my alley. I really like this song. I go through these phases with Ani, sometimes I really like the earlier stuff like this, which is more musically simple. Just Ani and the guitar and maybe a few accent instruments. Other times I like when she started to rock out a little more. I go through phases like this with Tori and her piano also. However, with Tori, the her and the piano stuff is inarguably better. The later stuff is sometimes easier to listen to though.

Three Is A Magic Number, Blind Melon- I wish that Monica could temporarily transmit herself into my mind and write about this song. She can't. I can't do it justice. I won't try. I'll just say anytime I hear stuff fro mthe Schoolhouse Rocks CD i miss my Saturday Morning Cartoon CD and wonder what happened to it.

19. Am not happy with 18 numbers. Realize I need more.

20. Stop blogging. Really get in bed.

I'M MOVING

My office is crowded. We are in a room with six desks and have a department of (soon to be) seven people. There had been much talk of moving the computer lab assistant into another department because he will have some functions that work with them as well. No one wanted that to happen. Then there was talk of moving him into this small office down the hall. This guy is about eight feet tall; he wouldn’t really fit in the small office. I, however, am five feet tall and find the office to be cozy and wonderful. Additionally, I am the only person who is running their own class (everyone else is a team effort) so it really makes sense that I get the office. Plus, I am a contract coordinator and, so is Orpheus but he is usually in the computer lab so doesn’t need an office. I am very happy about my new tiny closetlike office. I think my closet at Belmont apartment after they made it smaller is about the size of this office. Whatever, it’s mine. It has a door that locks so I can leave all my stuff in it and not worry. Thieves abound.

Lizza had this awesome meme that just made me smile. She didn’t officially tag anyone so therefore I don’t have to feel bad about not tagging anyone either. She just said do it if you want. I wanted. Same to you.

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Ok I think if I really put who I am immediately thinking of putting I will be placed on a list and suspected of terrorist plots and they will search me more at the airport than they already do and really blowing him up might not be all that good because there are plenty of other evils to rise up and take his place so never mind. I think I would blow up…I don’t really hate anyone anymore…shit. This is a really good power to have and I can’t think of anyone to blow up. We’ll just say ex-boyfriend cause he is an ass.

2.You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
Paris Hilton- she calls herself a musical artist and I can wipe her out, so there.

3.Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Just yesterday I was talking about how I wanted to punch someone in the face. I don’t remember who it was. It was some smug bitch to be sure. Oh, Laura on Project Runway. I would love to punch her smug non-designing face.

4.What is your favorite cheese?
Man I love cheese I would have to go with baked Brie en croute

5.You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
This will be a sandwich for the ages. If anyone wants to make it for me I will be real happy.
Roasted red pepper hummus on one slice of recently bakes rosemary foccacia, sun dried tomato spread on the other
Dill havarti (thickly sliced)
Tomato
Alfalfa sprouts (I know it’s a Yesterday Sandwich so far)
Red pepper
Mushrooms
Green olives
Red onion
Grilled eggplant (very thinly sliced)
Zucchini (very thinly sliced)
Ok, I think that will do it. Man that sounds good.

6.You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
Christian Bale, particularly Bateman looking Christian Bale. Some days I would say Johnny Depp but not today.

7.You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
Uh if it was 1995 I would say Gavin Rossdale. Since it is not and my tastes have changed, I don’t really know. I stopped watching music videos and buying Cds so I no longer know who is attractive. I’m gonna say I have absolutely no clue, can I cheat and say the summoned from the dead and restored to former glory Jimi Hendrix? Not that he was all that attractive but damn the man was sexy.

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
On a new shirt and skirt. I will spend a lot of time on the sale racks and find the right thing. It’s been a long time since I had a new outfit.

9.You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
If it is just me that is going, I am going to NY. I have been there a million times but I don’t really like to go new places by myself and I have friends and family there. If I can take someone, probably some beautiful little beach in Greece (wait, once I get there do I have to pay for things? If I do I’m going to NY no matter what cause I have family and friends there (not that they’ll pay for me completely but we can chill and not do lots of expensive things and I don’t have to pay for a hotel))

10.Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
If I am in NY I am going to Century 21. If I am in Greece I’m eating.

11.An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is...?
Some kind of delicious fruity vodka beverage

12.Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
Wow, that is a very hard question. I really liked my “Birth of Europe history class so maybe to Rome but I am brown and they would sell or kill me. Maybe ancient Egypt. My hair is a little curly but I think I would be less dead or enslaved there than pretty much anywhere else. When I got there I would try like hell to become part of the imperial court. Excellent!

13.You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Everyone works everyone shares. Kinda Commie sounding I know but it would work my way, right?

14.You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?
Give Natalie A Break
It would involve me going various places and doing fun things and having people give me a break on prices. I think it would get cancelled.

15.What is your favorite curse word?
I’m real basic, fuck.

16.One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything; they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
Uh I would maybe start to laugh until I realized that I was really awake and they were really mummies. I would probably say a very scared hello and hope they were nice.

17.Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what's the item?
I really liked Lizza’s idea of taking the pre-digitized photos but honestly I probably wouldn’t have remembered them. I would take Cho-cho (my bear)

18.The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Spend time with those I love and tell them I love them that everything is cool and I would catch them later (real cheesy and obvious but I would)

19.You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
I’d be Jean Gray but not quite so much because I don’t want the power to take power over me.

20.You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
Huh, would fighting demons be a really strange answer?

21.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
See question one

22.You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?
Uh, The Netherlands? They like time-traveling heathens who sleep with celebrities and have super-powers.

23.This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
I really don’t care cause I don’t go to bars like that anymore. I guess the Hungry brain cause Jamie has parties there sometimes.

24.Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out...I can FLOAT!"?
Roxanne's house. “I’d be all like, Dude the powers came back”. And she would be all like “Dude can we go floating like in the old days?” And I would be all like “Hell yeah!”

25.The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
Remember when I said I would bring back Hendrix? I would still bring him back.

26.The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn't think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is still a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
Huh, not many people very close to me have died. I am very lucky that way. I’m gonna have to say Uncle Jimmy. He was the greatest and had a magic beard that he would let Shoshana and I pull, hard.

27.What's your theme song?
Sunshine Superman, Donovan. Duh.

Since Tony lost his headphones in the house this weekend and took mine because he is going to Wisconsin for a few days to visit his mom, the song selection will not happen. All but one song from last week was guessed and that was #2 with the lyrics “Don’t fall in love with me yet, We’ve only recently met, true I’m in love with you but you might decide I’m a nut.” Those words belong to Absolutely Cuckoo by Magnetic Fields. I truly love this song and for any hopeless romantics like me out there. Their albums 69 love songs vol. 1 & vol. 2 are awesome. I am guessing vol. 3 is good too but I haven’t heard it.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

A JOURNEY TO THE SUBURBS

Tony and I took a journey to Lincolnwood today to play mini golf. It was surreal and quite enjoyable. Novelty Golf and Games is only a 10-15 minute walk from the Chicago city limits but things changed so much in that short period of time. Our bus ride on Devon Ave is so obviously city. You ride through the Indian part of town with Sari stores and delicious food everywhere you look, then you pass the Hasidic section of town and they also has some interesting eateries. Then you cross a street and are in land of strip malls and cars moving fast on wide roads. I was actually afraid to cross the street against the light.

Novelty Golf and Games is a strange place. It looks all old and run down and seedy but is completely charming. We asked where the ATM was and they said in the game room. The game room was a dingy smelly place, but pretty ok, and we could find no ATM in it. It is small so there should have been no problem. So we go to the Shell station next door and I use their ATM. I thought it gypped me on cash but the money was all up inside the machine. The store clerk I asked about it was kind of an ass. So back to the golf course we go. The course must have been around for ages but was so completely cute. We had a chuckle as we asked for two balls (immature of course but really funny). Neither Tony nor I are very good at mini-golf. There really aren’t many places to play. Some of the holes had little push pedals by the tee and they operated the mechanics, you know, windmill type stuff. We had fairly liberal rules. Like if you take a shot and the ball rolls back to essentially where you started, or goes off the green altogether, you get a do over. We had many of those. Tony actually got a hole in one on the castle drawbridge hole, which was pretty cool. We ran into our first problem at hole twelve. I shot my ball into the Polaroid camera and it never came out. We had to ask for help. Help is a young woman with a pitcher of water who purs the water into holes to flush things out. Didn’t work on hole 12, I had to get a new ball. Did work on hole 15 when Tony’s ball got stuck. Apparently it had been happening all day because there were wet spots around many of the various spouts that balls come out of when you play mini golf. In the end, even with his hole in one I kind of kicked Tony’s ass. I was only fifteen strokes over par to his twenty-eight.

Unfortunately, the Bunny Hut Eatery was closed and we were hungry so we didn’t take advantage of playing the other course for half price, although it was a truly tempting proposition. Instead we stopped at Taco Bell (one of life’s best guilty pleasures undoubtedly) for a proper suburban meal. I really have a hard time finding a Taco Bell anywhere in the city, or at least where I go in the city. I am sure they are here but I don’t know where. I suppose that is for the best. I really did enjoy my bean burrito and nacho supreme (sans meat of course). So back to the city we went and arrived comfortably back at the couch. All in all, a wonderful Saturday adventure. Then we went home and listened to music (and the guy upstairs eventually came and asked us to turn it down (or at least the bass). We have gotten a different speaker system because of this issue and it didn't seem that bad to me it is also 9pm on Saturday so I think music is fine (Then again, I suppose coming down at 9 is better than when they came down at 4pm on a Saturday). When I told him how it wasn't really loud down here he asked me to come upstairs and see I said "that's ok," and shut the door (not very nice of me) but we turned the music off so he should be happy, kind of.) All this music talk has provided an excellent segue.

1. Wait until the war is over. And we’re both a little older. The Unknown Soldier, The Doors. Identified by
The Doc and then a few minutes later by Jaclyn

2. Don’t fall in love with me yet we only recently met. True I’m in love with you but you might decide I’m a nut

3. In a forest pitch dark grows the tiniest spark it bursts into a flame like me like me. Isobel, Bjork. Identified by Shadow Falcon

4. I need an easy friend. I do, with an ear to lend. I do, think you fit this shoe. I do won’t you have a clue. About A Girl, Nirvana. Identified by Mom

5. You broke my heart cause I couldn’t dance. You didn’t even want me around. Do You Love Me, The Contours. Identified by Mom

Friday, October 13, 2006

A SPOOKY DAY

Today is Friday the 13th and it started out bad. I remember the alarm going off and Tony getting up to hit snooze like usually happens in the morning. However, the alarm did not go off again. I woke up at ten to eight (we have to leave by eight to be on time) and started to freak out. See this is Tony’s last day of school and he has his final this morning. The thing is that the alarm is still set and on. It isn’t set for PM, it isn’t almost all the way on, and it was set just as it should be to go off. After a series of forgetting things and having to go back to the house, we make it on the train at about eight thirty. Since I haven’t heard from Tony at this point, I am guessing that he was let into his test and all is well. Two people from school called him while we were on the train and he told them he was on his way so maybe he was expected.

So I get off the train at six after nine. Now how did I get on the train about twenty minutes after I usually do and get off it about ten minutes after I usually do? Time warp anyone? Actually I have found that the later you get on the train the emptier it is and the faster it moves. It almost makes sense to leave late on purpose. However, if I try that, I end up truly twenty minutes late. It makes no sense. Next strange thing, I get a real check at work. Somehow I got deleted from the payroll and therefore my direct deposit didn’t go through and I have to go to the bank. Not really a big deal but still, strange.

I am trying to think of things to do to celebrate with Tony for his finishing school. I mean he technically isn’t done until he finishes his externship hours but I am still really excited for him. He is planning to go out for one or two drinks with classmates after school and then we are going to do something fun. We wanted to see factotum but it isn’t playing anywhere. I wonder if we missed it or if it hasn’t gotten here yet. I am leaning toward we missed it. Then we thought about playing mini-golf. We really like mini-golf. We only played it once together and it was in the basement of this strange mall in Roseville MN and it was the crappiest course you have ever seen. There were small children running everywhere and no cool windmills or real obstacles but we still had fun. Half of it was under black lights. Glowing is cool. So we found a place and then remembered that it is now cold. Maybe it won’t be such a good idea. Maybe we will have a few drinks first and convince ourselves that it is warm enough to play. If anyone has ideas of what we should do that is fun and not very expensive you should tell me.

I am really looking forward to this weekend. I don’t have plans or anything; I am just really looking forward to it. I guess I plan to do the same thing I do every weekend. Lay around with Tony and relax. It was a hard week. I don’t really know why it was hard but it was. Something keeps biting me. I thought it had stopped after the 10 leg bites I got last Wednesday night but apparently it has struck again. I am bit in the middle of my hand. I wish it would bite Tony. I understand that I am yummier and all but it isn’t fair. I have no idea the type of creature that is biting me. I have looked all over the bed area and have found no signs of creatures. Maybe aliens are attacking me? I am tired. Since I slept well and am now tired, aliens are a good bet.

I just got a text from Tony; they let him take his test. I am very glad about that. So glad, in fact, that I want to sing. That means it’s song time.

1. Wait until the war is over. And we’re both a little older

2. Don’t fall in love with me yet we only recently met. True I’m in love with you but you might decide I’m a nut

3. In a forest pitch dark grows the tiniest spark it bursts into a flame like me like me

4. What’s with these homies dissin’ my girl? Why do they gotta front? Obviously this is Buddy Holly by Weezer and was identified by Monica

5. On a beach tree rudely carved NC and me why did she do it was she scared was she bored. We Rule the School, Belle and Sebastian. Identified by Monica

Thursday, October 12, 2006

I'M GONNA TELL

Ok, I am one of the few people out there who truly loves Jeffrey on Project Runway. I have loved him from the start. Feel free to throw tomatoes at me. What happened to him last night was just disgusting. For those of you who don’t watch, Jeffrey is an asshole and can be a fantastic designer. There seem to be people out there, my friends included, who like Laura. For those of you who don’t watch, Laura is a heinous wench and a boring designer, always. Jeffrey also happens to already own his own line of clothing called Cosa Nostra (so maybe it isn’t fair that he is on this show) while the other designers don’t and aren’t really as experienced in the fashion world. So Jeffery shows up with his entire collection for fashion week done while the other designers are still working. He is the first person in the history of the show to be totally done at this point. He is also, as far as I know, the first person in the history of the show to have such an established clothing line.

Everyone is working along and Jeffrey leaves the room while Laura announces to everyone else that she thinks Jeffery must not have sewn his garments because he was also busy with Cosa Nostra and since no one else was done it was just impossible. Oh, also his clothes were made too perfectly in her opinion and the craftsmanship didn’t match with the things he had done in the rest of the challenges. Can I just say that I hope everyone in the show took their craftsmanship up a notch when they had 2 months to work on 12 or so pieces rather than 1-2 days per piece in the episodes of the show. If everyone else’s garments didn’t take a huge step up in craftsmanship maybe they have something to think about. Does anyone remember that Jeffrey won the couture challenge in which he did an 80% hand-sewn dress in two days? Not to mention the man started his career making custom leather jackets, wouldn’t you expect his leather jeans to look great? I would guess the less experienced designers needed more conception time to put together a collection than someone who has been around the industry would but maybe it’s just me. Uli, who I also love, at least defended Jeffery by saying there were plenty of imperfections in his clothes. Michael was all about Laura’s accusations. I love Michael too but his clothes were ugly and I can’t believe what a follower he was. Then Laura goes and tells Tim Gunn without even telling Jeffery she has suspicions. It was like going to the teacher before telling your classmate you think they were doing something wrong and giving them a chance to defend themselves. Laura probably never would have mentioned it except that Uli told Jeffrey she had something to say.

Jeffrey was, of course, pissed. Many people seem to think that because he wasn’t all foul-mouthed and pissed it was an admission of his guilt because he usually is a sassy kind of guy. Personally, I think he was just shocked and attacked and stunned and just said no, are you crazy like anyone would. So they are investigating and there is concern that he may not be eligible to win the show anymore. Everyone knows he shows his collection at fashion week cause there have been pictures of it forever but damn. Just because a bitch has boring matronly designs and isn’t the sewing expert that someone who makes clothes for celebrities already is, doesn’t mean she should suspect them of cheating. Sure he doesn’t conform to conventional standards but that doesn’t mean he is a cheater. I don’t like plenty of rules/standards of culture but I don’t cheat at Monopoly.

I guess my point is that I believe you don’t make such a strong accusation as that on a hunch. And you certainly aren’t as smug about it as Laura was. We are all adults here people. There is a certain way that people are expected to behave. Unfortunately, all too often, people forget that they have a duty to the feelings of those around them. In my customer service class, one of the things we teach is loss prevention. Many documents I have read in regard to stopping a shoplifter say you never confront someone until you know what was taken, from where, and how. You certainly don’t just assume someone is stealing. In real life that can bring law suits. On reality shows it can boost ratings.

Obviously, to see how this all turn out we have to tune in next week. I truly hope that Jeffrey is vindicated (not only because I like him but because his collection is fantastic). I just think people shouldn’t act like a bunch of spoiled babies in life. If you have an issue you need to talk to people about it. Sure, if you suspect something you say something but you also do it in a mature and respectful way. Ok, off the moral soapbox. Singing is a soothing activity so we shall begin.

Oh the memories of yesterday made me very happy. I’ll leave song #10 up because no one guessed it. Then again the person it reminds me of probably doesn’t know this exists so I’m not all that surprised. Back to random shuffle.

1. Ok so Monica let me know I had this song wrong and I did. I thought the lyrics were "My defenses, become offences. Now I’m stumbling. I change my face up." the lyrics appear to be "My defenses become fences. I'm stumbling. I change my face. and Monica is right, it is Tricky and it happens to be called Christiansands. It was inspired by my dear friends Jenna and Roxanne cause they loved this shit and so do I.

2. Wait until the war is over. And we’re both a little older

3. Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin. Dance me through the panic till I’m gathered safely in. Dance Me to the End of Love, Leonard Cohen. Identified by Shadow Falcon

4. Don’t fall in love with me yet we only recently met. True I’m in love with you but you might decide I’m a nut

5. Winding paths through tables and glass. First flowers bloom. Now watch the summer pass so close to you. Country Girl, Crosby Stills Nash and Young. Identified by Monica

Oh, as you can see I have a new look. This look may change a lot in the next few weeks as I decide what I think is the prettiest. Let me know what you think.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

I WUPPED RAINBOW BUTTERFLY'S ASS

Yes, yes I did and i only needed one try but I may have to do it again because apparently I was supposed to take a picture of the butterfly before I killed it and the pictures I took weren’t good enough. Stupid cute looking game. Then I stopped playing for the night because good TV was on and I had a lot of food to cook. Sometimes, when Tony and I are broke, we have pasta salad for lunch. It is easy to bring places, filling, not all that bad for you, looks fancy, and makes a bunch of food for not all that much money and keeps you fed all week. I spent last night making pasta salad. We also had a yummy pesto dish for dinner. Needless to say I was elbow deep in pasta. See I made two bags of pasta, one for the salad and one for the dinner (planning on leftovers of course) but didn’t really divide it equally when cooked so I ended up with a huge pot and a big bowl of pasta salad, not to mention the separate bowl I made in case Monica wants some tonight when she comes over for TV time. See she can’t eat anything and our bowl/pot have beans. Beans make her die. The other food we have in the house is soy. Soy also makes her die. I would give her leftover pesto dish but I think the pesto I bought has pine nuts in it which make her die, I also but beans in the dish because they were made and I love white beans in a pasta dish and, as you know, that makes her die. I like Monica and do not want her to die.

Since I can’t think of much to post, I am going to tell you how to make Natalie and Tony’s Poor People Pasta Salad. It’s really good. It also changes every single time it’s made because sometimes we have ingredients that we don’t have other times. As you will see, Natalie doesn’t generally use normal recipe stuff like measurements and the like. Only for Mushroom Pie MMMMM, maybe I’ll post how to make that sometime.

1. Cook or buy some small white beans. I prefer to cook them (Tony actually cooked them yesterday because he was home earlier than me, thanks Tony) While cooking them, add 6-8 cloves of garlic to the boiling water. Too much garlic you say? Relax. It gets mild and mushy (like when you roast it but without all the oil) When the beans are done, mash garlic into them for a fantastic taste. Use as many beans as you like.

2. Cook up however much pasta of whatever shape you want. I prefer spirals. You just want it to be some kind of hearty shape like a shell, or macaroni, or ziti so that it will hold juices well and not get mushy. On the mushy note, be sure to cook al dente or your salad will suck. When done cooking rinse pasta with cold water to halt the cooking process (again mushy is bad) coat with a tad bit of olive oil to prevent sticking (also bad) and put in fridge to cool for about an hour.

3. Start choppin’ veggies in bite sized bites and chop enough so that you salad is more veggie than pasta or at least half and half. Otherwise you get too much pasta and it’s much worse for you.
  • This time I used
    Shredded carrot (sometimes I chop myself but it wasn’t that expensive to get shredded)
    Tomato
    Vidalia onion
    Broccoli
    Zucchini
    Black Olive
    Heart of palm
    Mushroom
    Red pepper
    I often use little cheese cubes or grate some cheese but I didn’t this time. I have used many types of cheese and don’t think it really matters what kind you use except that it should be relatively firm

4. Fold beans and veggies into pasta. Shake in some seasonings (like garlic powder, Italian seasoning, salt, pepper, etc.). I generally store the salad at this point and add dressing pre eating, it helps keep things firm)

5. When ready to eat, dress with fat free Italian dressing (in moderation). Sometimes, for a creamy change, I add a little bit of fat free yogurt in with the dressing to get a delightful creamy texture (a trick my mommy taught me). You will have easy lunches to take wherever for a while and people will say “Wow, that looks really good,” and they will be right.

In case anyone was wondering, the pesto dinner dish had onion and mushroom sautéed with some smashed boiled garlic (man I love that stuff). Then I added some tomatoes, artichoke hearts, and of course white beans and sautéed some more. Then I added in some pesto and the pasta and enjoyed.

Yesterday all the songs were guessed in one post. I am pretty happy about that. They weren’t super easy like last time either. Cool people just happened to be reading. Since I have a blank slate, I am going to put up some songs that I really like to sing with people. If the people I am thinking of read this, and many of them do, it will be another easy to guess post but it will be fun and full of love. I am going to add a few extra songs in here today because I am just so full of love and fun. (Apologies to bedtime songs from Mom that aren't included because I couldn't decide which one to include so I included none although Stay Awake, The Fox, and The Circle Game were strong contenders. Apologies to all the other songs Monica and I sing (particularly Tender) but I had to go with the one that has proper choreography)

The first five are songs that I sing with my sister and I want to give her a little shout out as it is her birthday so HIPPITY HAPPITY BUTHUFTATHUFTA SISTERHEAD. I think and hope that you are 24 today. If you aren’t then mom will yell at me cause you don’t read this cause you are too busy. I hope you read this one though since it’s all about love for you (and pasta).

1. Sister, you’ve been on my mind. Oh, sister, we’re too of a kind. Yes, sister, I’m keeping my eye on you. That song from the Color Purple that Shug sings. Identified by Julie

2. An only kid and only kid my father bought for two zuzim. Had Gadya, Traditional Passover song. identified by Mom

3. I kept the right ones out. And let the wrong ones in. Got an angel of mercy to see me through all my sins. Identified by none other than the birthday girl herself (cause i made her read it) and also by ShadowFalcon

4. I’m just average common too. I’m just like him the same as you. I’ve everybody’s brother and son I ain’t different than anyone. Ain’t no use in talking to me. Just the same as talking to you. (I like to sing this with some other people too not just Head but she introduced it to me and subsequently us. Everyone loves this song.) I Shall be Free #10., Bob Dylan. Eloquently identified by Brooke. I just wanted to add, He's a weird monkey, very funky.

5. I ain't puttin’ no boogie in nobody's butt. That's nasty, man. What you talkin’ about? Boogie in Your Butt, Eddie Murphy. Identified by Mom (and she should cause it is apparently her and Dad's song)

Now for songs that remind me of friends. Not that Head isn't a friend but she is a special kind of friend.

6. The goat chewed up, was a tin can. The goat shat out, was a ford sedan. I like an eyeball. I like a square cut. I like a funny car. I like a monster truck. Disseminated, Soul Coughing. Identified by Brooke. Inspired by Brooke and I sitting on the new dorm stairs like a couple of fools singing a goofy song and doing dances that can't really be called dances because we were sitting.

7. Oh I could hide ‘neath the wings of the bluebird as she sings. The six o’clock alarm would never ring. Daydream Believer, The Monkees. identified by Mom. Inspired by the lovely dances a la Monica and Natalie.

8. I don’t know what it is that you’ve done too me. But it’s caused me to act in such a crazy way. Weak, SWV. Identified by. Monica Inspired by nights on my On Demand kereoke that included such good people as Jamie, Monica, Cheryl, Tony, and Dave and Jamie and Brooke's B-day bash with a bunch of people.

9. ECUADOR!!!! (I actually don’t know what song this is or any lyrics other than this one but I think someone out there does. I was just thinking about it the other day and it had to be included. I think some people will smile) Ecuador, Sash. Identified by Brooke. Inspired by Jaclyn's hell car.

10. My defenses, become offences. Now I’m stumbling. I change my face up.


Tuesday, October 10, 2006

LIVING IN A FAIRYLAND

So my appointments to go over work from class last week both showed up. I like my little students a lot. I wish I could have taught them for more than 2 days. In regard to their test, the password problem was fixed. Unfortunately, there seemed to be some sort of scoring problem. I kind of gave up on asking them to come back again. We just made do with the data we had and I am going to make it work. It’s not fair for them to have to come back and take an 115question test over again. They did a good job on their homework too. I really liked reading some of their answers. Some creative thinking was had. My last student has his appointment tomorrow. I am debating if I should give him the test at all. I did not, however, get any answer on when they can take the national certification test, as was expected. The program director is back in town now so maybe that will happen sooner. Apparently the person I called at the testing site is the only person at that office that knows the program exists there. I hate non-profits sometimes.
Luckily, I have the rest of this month to work the rest of the kinks out of my training class. Unless we decide to have another class on the 23rd, which is an option, all kinks will be gone. I should still have two weeks to work out kinks in case we do have a class on the 23rd. Huh, I wonder if that is a good idea. See I may not need until the 5th but I may need more than the 23rd. Decisions, decisions.

I can’t wait to go home and play Dark Cloud 2. That game is so gosh darned adorable that I want to plotz. Speaking of games and plotzing, I remember a game called Storybook Weaver. You could write little stories and put little creatures on a stage and they would act out the stories. When you typed run they ran, when you typed plotz they did a thing that looked like teleporting in the original Star Trek and disappeared. It was a really good game. I hope that plotz is the word they used in the game. I wonder if they have a PS2 version. Last night I was too “sleepy” to defeat the Rainbow Butterfly who is the boss on the second level. I shot the tentacles in the flower it liked so that it split into many different butterflies vs. one huge one but then I died. Those butterflies kicked my ass. One of the characters is named Monica (like my friend) she can morph into some of the monsters and then communicate with them because they think she is one of them. Then she can turn back into a person and kill them. Plus she is from the future. It’s so cool. There are creatures called Furbits who like grape juice, a fish king with eyelashes and lipstick, and best of all a talking tree with the exact same voice of Moira (sp?) the talking turtle from The Never Ending Story, it also shoots things from its nose which is very Moiraesque. Max gets to travel to the future to see how things done in the present change future history and then Monica helps him get back to the past/present or whatever. You have to take pictures of strange monsters doing stranger things and make inventions from pictures around town. Basically what I am saying is that this game is a wondrous fairyland and I can’t wait to go play in it again. I love being in fairyland. I am semi-convinced that I am supposed to live in the middle of the woods somewhere and flit about in nature. Except I really like showers.On the topic of fairyland, apparently Ice-T is trying to turn prep school kids into a rap group. That show promises to suck.

Being that it is the start of a new work week, that means it’s guessing game time again. So here are our first five.

1. I wanna kiss you in Paris. I wanna hold your hand in Rome. I wanna run naked in a rainstorm and make love in a train cross-country. You put this in me so now, so now… Justify My Love, Madonna- Identified by Jaclyn

2. Yesterday I went outside with my mammas mason jar. Caught a lovely butterfly. Butterfly, Weezer. Identified by Monica

3. The breath of the morning. I keep forgetting the smell of the warm summer air. I live in a town where you can’t smell a thing you watch your feet for cracks in the pavement. Subterrenian Homesick Alien, Radiohead. Mostly identified by ShadowFalcon but I gave her a little break on the title she said Alien

4. The very first time that I saw your brown eyes your lips said hello and I said hi. I knew right then you were the one. If I Ever Fall In Love, Shai. Identified by Monica

5. I’m on my time with everyone. I have very bad posture. Pennyroyal Tea, Nirvana. Identified by ShadowFalcon

*Correction to last night’s very late night post. Tony did not say the guy wasn’t that bad of a sex offender. He said he was not all that threatening of one. As previously noted I do a really bad job of making it known that Tony is a really awesome guy. Also his sarcasm and dry humor doesn’t transfer well to the written page. Both he and I like to make jokes about things that are not funny because it helps us deal. I realize that vocal intonations are lost in this medium. Those who know us will probably understand and not think we are crazy awful people. Those who don’t know us; just believe me when I say we are not crazy awful people.*