MY SUBCONSCIOUS THINKS I'M CHILDISH

I went to the optometrist this morning. My prescription has changed a tiny bit but my eyes are not the source of my lightheadedness. I’m calling my Dr. back tomorrow. Today my pupils are dilated and it has enhanced my feeling funny. What fun. I did get really nifty glasses though. they have sparkles on them that you can kind of see in the side view.

So the other night I had this dream that Monica, Patrick (who is Monica’s friend and I have never met but have seen pictures of), and I were playing on this playground after winning some crazy boat race or something. That part of the dream is a little fuzzy. Patrick in the dream didn’t look like Patrick in real life; he looked more like Phillip Seymour Hoffman, which is very funny because it is almost the exact opposite of real Patrick. Anyway we had this tent thing that we draped over a round climby thing on the playground and were playing fort. Fort rules.

So we are in our fort having an awesome time when this little kid comes in. The kid’s dad is standing on the sidelines of the playground watching. The kid looks up at us and asks how old we are. I say 28, Monica says 29, and Patrick says 30 (I have no idea how old he really is). The kid looks at us and says, “Oh, that’s old. I’m 4. What are you doing in this fort?” We just looked at the kid and then at each other and packed up in shame. Then some other strange dream type stuff happened that I don’t remember. I think that the remembered part was the important part though.

The thing was my dream kind of hurt my feelings. I mean sure, I like to play around but I think my friends and I are fine examples of people in their late 20s. We have jobs, we pay rent, we function as adults, and we are generally accepted to be grown type folks. So what if we like forts? Who doesn’t? Just cause we don’t have kids of our own to play fort with doesn’t mean we should be shut out from playing. Play is important. Anyway, I’m mad at my dream.

1. Identity/ Identity is the crisis you can’t see/ Identity/ Identity

2. Did I/ See a moment/ With you/ In a half-lit world

3. Ghost, ghost I know you live within me/ Feel as you fly/ In thunderclouds above the city/ Into one that I

4. I’m tired of wasting gas living above the planet/ Mister show me the way to earth/ The boys from quadrant 44 with their vicious metal hounds don’t come round here no more.

5. Downtown/ We’ll drown/ We’re in our never splendor/ Flowers/ Showers/ Who’s got the new boy gender

I REALLY THOUGHT I HAD A POST IN THERE

Since Thursday I have had about a million ideas for a blog post. Sadly, none of them can be remembered currently. So it goes.

I do remember that my record of not falling down has been broken. There was a time when I used to fall down rather often. I don’t know why I was such a clumsy goof but I was always tripping over something. In the past five years or so, maybe more, I have actually regained my balance. It has all been for naught. I went down. I was walking home from work on Friday and there was a light dusting of snow over everything. It also happened to be extremely icy. I slipped and there was no hope of recovery. I was so disappointed in myself.

This weekend was unbelievably cold. I vowed that I wouldn’t leave the house because I was not ready to deal with the cold. I stayed true to my word. The weekend was awesome. On Saturday I spent the large majority of the day under a blanket doing crossword puzzles while Tony played Resistance Fall of Man. Sunday I watched the rest of my old Figure Skating DVDs and Tony and I watched Empire and Jedi. I got out my Jedi figures (many of which have mysteriously disappeared over the years) and acted out many scenes from Jedi (with hilarious embellishment) as the movie played. Yes, I realize this is the dorkiest thing ever to do but it was really funny at the time. Tony had wanted to see all the toys and once they were out I had to do something with them. I miss when my speeder bikes exploded at the push of a button. Now they just kind of flop apart. I thought I had many more old school figures than I appear to have. Many are the next gen figures that I have somehow come into possession of. I wonder what happened to my original Lando at Jaba's figure? He had that awesome helmet and everything. He was super cool. Now I just have the new version. I bet Eric stole them. What a dick (I don’t really think he did but I wouldn’t be at all surprised).

1. When the Witch Doctor Life/ throws his silent bones/ some are crowned kings/ while others lose their thrones

2. My old man he’s a singer in the park/ He’s a walker in the rain/ He’s a dancer in the dark. My Old Man, Joni Mitchell. Identified by Mom.

3. It was a clear black night/ a clear white moon/ Warren g was on the streets trying to

4. You sure you want to be with me/ I’ve nothing to give/ Won’t lie and say this lovings best

5. I ain't happy/ I'm feeling glad/ I got sunshine/ in a bag. Clint Eastwood. Gorillaz. Identified by Monica

BYE BYE BOOKS

I have got to weight in on this thing that is Kindle. As a book and gadget lover, I am both excited and horrified by this product. In case you didn’t know, Kindle is a wireless device developed y Amazon.com that can download and store up to 200 books from a database of 90,000. It can also receive magazine and newspaper subscriptions. Kindle is about the size of a standard paperback and has a very high resolution and quite readable screen. Downloads take about one minute. I hear that the color resolution isn’t the best but unless you are reading science or children’s books that probably won’t be much of an issue. You can download first chapters of books for free and the most expensive titles are $9.99.

As a gadget this thing is pretty awesome. Sure the price tag is a little high ($399) but, like most gadgets that will very likely lower in the next few years. Kindle has a reported battery life of about 6 hours and that is extended if you turn the wireless features off. It fully recharges in two hours, which is a little long but could be much worse. It is light and thin and uses cell phone networks so you don’t’ have to be in a wi-fi hotspot to download your materials and it doesn’t have any wireless charges. You can even email yourself files for reading anything you wrote or some business type stuffs on the go. Everything you purchased is stored online so if you needed to clear space for a particular book you won’t be deleting something forever. You can click on a word you don’t know and look it up instantly. You’ll never need to bookmark a page, Kindle remembers

So why does it scare me? The answer is simple. I think we may be witnessing the downfall of the printed page. Any avid reader knows there is something about holding a book in your hand. You turn the pages and new stories unfold. As you read you can measure your progression by how many pages have moved from one side of the book to the other. You can tell how loved a book is by the creases in its binding and the notes scribbled in the margins (if you write in your books like I do). All of this is impossible with a machine. Well all except the notes, you can make annotations with this thing too.

Remember the smell of old books? Cherish it. In two generations it may be gone. I will always remember the smell of Happiness is a Warm Puppy. I don’t know if they used some kind of special paper or what but no other book I have ever read has smelled that way. Think of the way libraries look, both at home and in the public. The bookshelf could become an obsolete piece of furniture. There is a lot at stake here. Sure we love our books now but what about the kids who grow up with these things. How much cheaper would getting your books for college be with one? In 20 years how hard will it be to buy a real book?

I can’t promise I will never go digital. This product looks pretty amazing. I didn’t understand how awesome mp3 players were for years but my iPod has changed my life. Kindle could do the same thing for books that mp3 players have done for CDs. Who am I to say this is a bad thing? I can’t go into the bookstore and buy a brand new book for $9.99. I am safe for now because not only are they expensive but they are sold out on Amazon. Not to mention that the thought of having one kind of makes me want to vomit. The revolution is now.

THREE DAYS OF WOODSY FUN

The main point of our vacation was to spend some time at my friend Stephanie’s cabin. Her great grandfather built this place way up north in Minnesota and her grandfather added a second cabin so he could have some peace and quiet when all the grandkids came. It is now a getaway that her family shares. We planned for three days of boating, floating in the lake, and general fun in the sun. After the four-hour drive up North (complete with traffic for no reason) we parked and then it was straight onto the boat! I’m glad we did it because it would prove to be the only time we would get out on the water.

(Steph, Ryan, and Rachel on the boat)

It was cold at the cabin. We hadn’t packed for it. Luckily I took a few long sleeved shirts from my father before we left because without them it would have been horrible. There were a few hoodies in the cabin as well and they also came in handy. A few times we even resorted to wearing our bathrobes because they were one of the few things with sleeves that we had at our disposal. Despite the cold, we were able to eek out a good time.

Steph’s cousin, Christian, who once lived with Monica and I for 9 days and deserves a special place in the roommate horror stories was also at the cabin with five of his friends. Steph and I had tried to coordinate with Christian so that our stays would not overlap, and they weren’t supposed to, but then the day before we were going up Christian called me to say how excited he was that we would be up at the same time. I tried my best to remain jolly sounding on the phone. Not that I am anti-Christian, that time has passed. However, we were bringing six people and two dogs up there and it just didn’t seem like it would be as comfortable. I figured they had been up there for seven days already so….

It turned out ok. Christian’s roommate Rachel was a blast. She was pretty sick and tired of her group so new blood was welcome. She came out on the boat with us and Ryan taught her how to skip rocks. She saved the pair of goggles that Ryan dropped in the lake trying to do a Navy Seal type dive off the boat making her utterly awesome in our opinion. The first night there was a BBQ and plenty of ruckus campfire fun.

(The second cabin and our usual haunt, the fire pit)

Christian’s group was leaving the next day but not until midnight, which seemed strange to me, but whatever. They spent most of the day sitting around doing not much and not cleaning up all their mess and leaving us to handle most of it in our one remaining day at the cabin. For some reason that didn’t seem quite right but, whatever. Tony and Ryan went for a hike and I made them yesterday sandwiches for the road. They were gone for hours and I thought they may have died but eventually they wandered back. Ryan is an eagle scout and all.

I tried to put together an incredibly difficult puzzle because I thought it would make me seem smart. I shouldn’t have been so ambitious. It was a round puzzle with a painting of wolves on it. The entire thing was various shades of brown and a few shades of green for pine needles that were scattered throughout. Every piece looked the same. It was about half done by the time we had to leave the cabin. To my credit, Christian’s group had started an easy puzzle and left the identical sky pieces unfinished. Roxanne and I tackled that in no time.

(Getting started on the wolf puzzle)

Steph’s boyfriend, Aaron is a master at fire making. Without him we would have froze even more than we did. He had a great method of drying out logs on the side of the fire pit to add when they got just right. He tended that fire like it was his child. We also made excellent food the whole time we were there. In retrospect, it was a pretty great time after all. Not what we expected, but it worked out fine just the same.

BACK IN THE REAL WORLD

Vacation was a great time. It did not go entirely as planned but it was truly awesome. Being back from vacation, however, sucks buttholes. There will probably be many posts detailing the stages of vacation but I got to start somewhere so I’ll start at the beginning, Minneapolis.

The drive to Minneapolis was rather uneventful. I got in the car and drove. I stopped as little as possible. We left later than I had wanted to and we had dinner reservations at The Dakota for my parent’s anniversary and my Uncles Birthday because they are on the same day. Note to anyone who knows me: If you get married on June 5th you are a dick and I am not your friend anymore. Thanks to Mommy changing the reservations we had a very delicious dinner. I got a drink that made me a little wack-a-do (champagne, pomegranate liqueur, and vodka) but then it wore off really fast and I was completely sober. The couple at the table next to us hated our party because we like to laugh and do not always have inside voices. Whatever, the man had a bright red suit jacket on and they were lame. Ryan, Tony, and I left the club and went bar hopping in the Uptown area. Actually, they hopped and I drove. I’m so awesome.

Bar 1. Rudolph’s
This place is real ok. It would be nice after work or something. It has a bit of a big cushy booth feel to it. Ryan and Tony were convinced they had ordered $8 beers because they were huge and full of Guinness. I reminded them that they ordered the special and we were in MN. They didn’t believe me until we got the check.

Bar 2. Mortimer’s
This place is real great. They have every single bar game imaginable and some. We were incredibly excited to play air hockey (Tony and Ryan were very excited about $8 pitchers) and got three games worth of quarters. Tony and Ryan played the first round and I was to play the loser. Then this group of ruckus looking individuals put some quarters down on the table claiming the next game. That was ok. While they were playing we put our quarters down. Somewhere during the game I think the quarters disappeared. That was to be expected though because one of the guys was playing like a madman. He was slamming the puck left and right. When they were done we were going to play but noticed he left the thing you hit the puck with quite bloody. Never mind.

Bar 3. Was supposed to be Liquor Lyle’s but ended up being the C.C Club
I was at this bar for my 21st birthday. It is still a great bar. The people are chill and a motley crew, but in a good way. It’s a place where bikers, emo kids, and hippies can hold pleasant conversations. We enjoyed ourselves. We would have liked to be at Lyle’s but I haven’t been in Minneapolis for a while and was on the wrong street. Oops. Never fear. Lyle’s stories will follow.

Bar 4. The Bulldog
This bar used to be one of my favorite restaurants in the Twin Cities, The Mud Pie. While I was growing up it was the only Vegetarian restaurant around. I could be wrong about that but it seemed like it. They had awesome enchiladas and a great Middle Eastern platter. It had the most wonderful smell. Sadly it is now a bar but at least it is a nice seeming bar. While there Ryan suggested to Tony that they take a biking/rafting trip. They would bike somewhere and then raft down the Mississippi for a while like Huck Finn. I thought this was hilarious. Tony knew it was slightly hilarious. Ryan thought it was totally doable. They did bike from Chicago to Milwaukee after all. I was talking about how horrible their trip sounded because it wouldn’t have bathrooms and showers and beds and this girl at the bar likes what I had to say. I think she liked Ryan too.

We then walked back to the car and I drove the scenic route home taking the boys around the lake where my friends and I used to drive and drink, but not at the same time. We would trade weekends and one person would drive around the lake and the others would drink from the huge gallon jug of amaretto. The boys laughed at how responsible that was as I relived the experience. Then we went home.

As we opened the bed it must have been caught on the plug for the table lamp because when we laid down there was a loud thunking sound and the light went out. The next morning I looked and it appeared the bed had somehow broken the outlet in half. I realize as I am typing this that I neglected to tell my parents this. Mom, Dad, this is why there is a broken outlet sitting on the bedside table in my old room. Sorry.

End day one.

Oh, no random songs because my iPod won't go to the menu and all I can listen to is Billy Idol. I have 9 Billy Idol songs. This thing better fix itself soon.

THE MAGIC OF BEING PREPARED AND THE WONDERS OF MONOPOLY

To celebrate Lakeiya’s going to law school Monica, Q (who may want to remain nameless in blogworld) and I had a good old fashioned sleep over complete with horror movies. It really was the way to go. I haven’t had a proper sleepover in ages. As an adult, sleeping over is usually referred to as “crashing”. Crashing happens when you are either too drunk or too tired or too far to safely make it home. In most cases crashing involves a couch.

Not so with the sleepover. When sleeping over you go prepared. You have pillows, sheets, toothbrushes, and even pajamas. The foresight that goes along with a planned sleepover makes it much more comfortable than the unexpected crash. Monica is awesome enough to have a humongous air mattress that Lakeiya and I were easily able to sleep on. Q could have fit too but she was too close, sober, and awake to sleepover. That is perfectly acceptable, we are grown-ups after all. The air mattress also served as a great place for the four of us to huddle together, try and creep each other out with odd caresses, and watch scary movies. We even ordered pizzas! What good times.

The foresight also allowed me to spend the next day at Monica’s house without feeling like there was death in my mouth. I love brushing. If it wasn’t for the toothbrush I wouldn’t have been able to play endless games of Monopoly and wouldn’t have been able to stay long enough for Morgan to come by and enjoy said Monopoly with us and then, eventually drive me home. Without the toothbrush, my trip home would have been long, dirty, and hot. What wonders a clean mouth can do.

Monica had a brand new Monopoly board. I typically don’t enjoy brand new Monopoly unless it is of some fun variety such as Star Wars, Simpsons, or Looney Tunes. I recall there is a Muppet Monopoly out there somewhere. I wouldn’t object to having it. This new Monopoly of Monica’s, however, had something rather exciting in it, thus making the game exciting despite the money being stuck together. It was a special blue “speed die”. I play Monopoly in a rather speedy fashion as it is so the speed die didn’t immediately intrigue me. Monica and I played a good old regular game and, when Lakeiya showed up, we decided to put the speed die into use.

After your first trip around the board you can use the speed die. You roll it along with the two regular dice and fun ensues. The speed die has the numbers 1-3, a bus, and two “Mr. Monopolies adorning its six sides. If you roll a number you add it to the value of the other two dice making a larger roll. If you roll the bus you can take the singular value of either of the normal dice or their combined total. Then you get to Mr. Monopoly, more affectionately known as “The Man”. The Man can be your friend, or he can be your worst enemy. If you roll The Man, you take your turn based on the roll of the white dice and then move to the next unowned property, which you can buy or not. If you are playing with the actual rules the property then gets auctioned off to the highest bidder but who plays that way? Once all the properties are owned, The Man becomes evil. You now must move to the next property on which you will owe someone money. So if you landed on a hotel on Park Place and had The Man show up you would then have to go to Boardwalk and pay on the hotel that would also be sitting there. Oh, the ins and outs of The Man.

It was nice to be in a place where I could play at least ten games of Monopoly in a two day time span. Playing games is probably the thing I most miss about living with Monica, that one is good for games. I don’t think Monica, Brooke, and I have ever played a game of Monopoly together. That has to happen sometime soon. No one loves that game as much as the three of us do. Ladies, let’s make a date.

The unguessed songs from last week are as follows:

1. What if the show didn’t go on/ What if we all got jobs and got to bed before dawn/ What if Old Joe had to retire/ What if all the stagehands were let go or fired. Promises of Eternity, Magnetic Fields.

2. You’ve taken the fun/ Out of everything/ Making me run/ When I don’t want to think. I think this is called No Other Way and it is certainly by Blur

3. Every night/ Out for love/ Get my strength from the man above/ God of pistol/ God of steel/ God is here behind my wheel. Working For The Man, PJ Harvey

4. I said oh/ I got this feeling and it's deep in my body/ it gives me wiggles and it makes my rump shake/ I said oh. Speaking in Tongues, Eagles of Death Metal

5. I can’t believe that I’m writing this down and/ I can’t believe I’ve got you in a song/ I don’t want to be a whining girl/ Rather not be in your world. I Don’t Want to See You, Camera Obscura.

5 RANDOM THINGS

Johnny Yen tagged me for the 5 questions meme a few days ago. Wanna hear them, here they go.

1. If you could be there to change just one event in history, what would it be?
This is a pretty hard question. I mean history is a really long time. I don’t want to change anything too far back because the repercussions that would ensue could be catastrophic and I tend to like my life. I’ll go back and fix that mess in Florida. I have a feeling that things would be a lot better now if I did. I also think that my life would be the same enough that I wouldn't be messing with too much cosmic stuff.

2. If you could be any actor or actress who ever lived, who would it be, and why?
Without a doubt or a moment of hesitation I would be Audrey Hepburn. She is beautiful, funny, classy, and has roles that look incredibly fun to play. How much would I like tobe Eliza Doolittle? A lot.

3. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon show?
Voltron: Defender of the Universe. Voltron was the unsung hero of the 1980s Saturday morning cartoons. He was relatively busted and the shows were pretty repetitive. Most people liked Transformers or Thundercats. I liked them too but not as much as Voltron, he was my hero. I was Voltron one year for Halloween and Princess Alura (she manned the blue lion after this one guy died) the next (or maybe it was the other way around). I had all types of Voltron toys and most of them are still around.

4. Beatles or Rolling Stones?
Beatles hands down. I don’t know a lot of the Rolling Stones catalogue, just their big songs and a few others here and there. I’m okay with that. I know a lot of the Beatles catalogue and I am glad that I do.

5. If you could be any fictional literary figure ever, who would it be?
The Little Prince because every time people would read about me they would laugh hysterically, learn something, and be brought to tears. I would be loved by children and adults all around the world. It sounds nice.

I am not tagging anyone but if someone wants to answer five random questions I will ask them of you.

Yesterday Monica came over to watch Top Chef. We were all about it. It wasn’t on. We were confused. Tony, who doesn’t watch the show, looked at us like we were crazy and said, “Doesn’t that come on Wednesdays?” Crap. It was Tuesday. We watched Flight of the Concords and Rick and Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple in the World instead. It was still fun.

From a day when all songs wre guessed to a day when none were. Come on, people, there are some easy ones in there.

1. What if the show didn’t go on/ What if we all got jobs and got to bed before dawn/ What if Old Joe had to retire/ What if all the stagehands were let go or fired.

2. I do it for the joy it brings/ cause I am a joy-ful girl/ cause the world owes me nothing/ And we owe each other the world. Joyful Girl, Ani DoFranco. Identified by Brooke.

3. All the world just stops now/ so you say you don’t want to stay together anymore/ let me take a deep breath babe/ If you need me, me and Neil will be hanging out with the Dream King. Tear In Your Hand, the best Tori Amos song ever. Identified by Brooke.

4. You’ve taken the fun/ Out of everything/ Making me run/ When I don’t want to think

5. Every night/ Out for love/ Get my strength from the man above/ God of pistol/ God of steel/ God is here behind my wheel

MEME MADNESS

I got three tags the other day so here they go.

The first is an oh so flattering Rockin' Girl Blogger award from The Thinker

How cool is that? I also get to tag five rockin' ladies with it. I am going to tag some awesome ladies.

1. Mrs. Loquacious because she is a real nice lady who tends to ROCK out a bit. Plus, she was the first person I didn't know who left me a comment and that rocks.

2. I got to give one to my dear friend Monica because she always tells me about rockin' bands to listen to and she just ROCKS in general. Without her my instances of leaving the house would be even fewer and that would be quite scary.

3. I'm going to throw one to Blondie, and since Clark St. is real close, she might even catch it. She made me feel less nervous about turning 30 in a few years with her recent chronicle. Cheers to that, it ROCKS.

4. Mood Indigo was gone for a long time doing incredibly important work with The Africa Project but I am selfishly happy she is back because she ROCKS!

5. I also want to send one to Blog Antagonist because she writes one the three or four "mommy blogs" that I enjoy. She doesn't just post stuff about her kids that no one cares about. She has important and interesting things to say. She also recently took her eldest to a Fall Out Boy concert because they really wanted to go and that kind of move ROCKS.

The second is from Memoirs of a Fat Girl
INSTRUCTIONS: Remove the blog in the top spot from the following list and bump everyone up one place. Then add your blog to the bottom slot, like so.
Classy & Fancy
[Cherry] Ride/
5of9erAiram
Memoirs of a Fat Girl
Almost Interesting Musings on Life

Select five people to tag: You, You, You, You and...uh...You

What were you doing 10 years ago?
I had just graduated from High School and was working at Learner New York (now NY&Co). I hung out with all the friends I knew I would keep forever (and now talk to very few) and switched from saying pop to saying soda because I didn’t want to get made fun of.

What were you doing 1 year ago?
I was finishing up my wonderful contract working with DCFS youth and getting ready to be the temporary Volunteer Services director. I am now again the temporary Volunteer Services director. If I am doing the same thing next year I might die.

Five snacks you enjoy:
1. cheese
2. popcorn
3. guacamole
4. yogurt w/various cereals and/or fruits
5. hummus

Five songs that you know all the lyrics to:
1. The Humpty Dance, Digital Underground
2. Sunshine Superman, Donovan
3. The Circle Game, Joni Mitchell
4. Disseminated, Soul Coughing
5. Tender, Blur

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire:
A million isn’t as much as it used to be so it isn’t going to last me very long. Maybe by millionaire they meant multiple millions? I took it literally. It's a little selfish but I give back every day at work so screw it.

1. Pay off my debts
2. Buy a lofty 3bed 2 bath condo
3. Buy a Smart Car
4. Take a year off to travel with Tony
5. If I have anything left (and there won’t be much after that vacation) invest it

Five bad habits:
1. cracking any joint that I possibly can
2. being a total slob
3. making decisions
4. finishing projects that I have started
5. not taking as good care of myself as I should

Five things you like doing:
1. cooking/eating fun and exciting foods
2. road trips with good people
3. sleeping in
4. all kinds of movies/ TV and video games
5. nothing

Five things you would never wear again:
1. culottes
2. sneakers with a heel (the maroon ones with a big sole don’t count)
3. shiny lycra (I’m talking about skating here people and maybe a few other times)
4. scrunchies
5. the crazy blue horizontal striped dress (but I’ll still wear it in the house)

Five favorite toys:
1. iPod
2. PS2
3. Cable
4. Scrabble
5. Monopoly

I was also tagged by Not Fearing Change for the 8 random facts meme. I think Monica tagged me with this or something like this but since I used her facts it wasn't quite right.

Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8.
Players should tag 8 other people and notify them that they have been tagged.

I am tagging the five "Yous" from above and also You, You and...um...You

Just the (Random) Facts
1. My second toe on my right foot is longer than my big toe but on the left foot the big toe is longer. I think if I can figure out why this is I will unlock my mutant toe power.

2. I am 5ft tall but think I am much taller. When I see people my height walking around I am always struck by how small they are.

3. Right now I am relatively damp because I ran across the street in a torrential downpour an hour and a half ago.

4. I used to have a severe SIMS addiction. It stopped because the downloads I had didn’t work with Nightlife and I got annoyed because new SIMS had bad hair.

5. Most of the time I would rather be sitting at home.

6. I have only 400 pages left to read in War and Peace thus completing my reading of the books on my bookshelf...I think.

7. I have just folded 50 brochures about my customer service training

8. I love lamp

This post has taken me about five hours to actually finish. I am too tired for random songs.

VIDEO GAME REVOLUTION

Apparently this is real old news but it’s new to me and it makes me happy so I want to blog about it. About a year and a half ago a team of researchers at the National University of Singapore made a human Pacman game. Players wear VR goggles and see big cookies in the middle of the road that they run over to gobble up Pacman style. You can choose to be either a Pacman or a ghost and run around with your friends eating virtual cookies or chasing the ones who are eating virtual cookies. Does this sound like the best thing ever or what?

This product could change my life. I would want to leave the house and socialize with other people on a more regular basis. I would possibly even run a little bit which would not be a bad thing. I would stay outdoors for extended periods of time on a regular basis rather than the few days a year when I actually go to a festival or the beach or something like that. I would be the envy of everyone who didn't have this game and might even make some new friends.

Think of the other games that could be brought back to life with this type of technology. We could hunt many a Wumpus, we could Dig various Dugs, and we could invade space. Think of what would happen if the virtual gaming opportunities grew to include RPG classics. We could actually run around town playing Zelda or Kings Quest and scavenge for random goodies on the way. Instead of arcades we could have open air parks dedicated to people running around with goggles on their heads in various teams completing any goal their little hearts desired. The Wii got gamers moving again but this would get people off their couches like never before. Imagine the glory. It would be a dream.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t look like I will be getting human Pacman or any other virtual game any time soon. The equipment costs 10K-20K and I think a PS3 is too expensive. It also seems that one would have to program certain geographic areas into the game so that you don’t bump into things like buildings so playing areas would be limited and there seems to be no way to avoid moving things like cars and buses. In a city environment this could be quite dangerous. Then again, if my park arcade idea catches on maybe we would be onto something. I wonder how you can register non-playing people on the monitor or do you just run into everyone who isn’t plugged into GPS? Then again, if only players are allowed in the park arcade then everyone would have some sort of GPS signal. Maybe I am getting closer to the ultimate solution.

While the drawbacks are obviously many, the fact that the technology exists and is being improved constantly is incredibly exciting. Maybe a version of human Pacman that is affordable and doesn’t cause you to bump into things will be available before I can no longer walk. Here’s to hoping.

This Hear of Stone, Rolling Stones- I love this song. It is so utterly mean and horrible. Last night I watched John Tucker Must Die (I know I know I planned to fall asleep but didn’t) and this song is like John Tucker except that they did break his heart of stone hahaha.

History of Lovers, Iron & Wine- This is off one of the Iron and Wine albums that I downloaded after I decided that I wanted to listen to as much of their music as possible and then haven’t listened to. It has a great beat and while you could dance to it you would look like a cracked out hippie. Note to self: perfect an unrivaled hippie dance before Pitchfork Festival.

Stupid Girl, Garbage- Really? Really? Did this actually come on and am I actually excited about hearing it as I never put it on purposefully? Both things are true. Man am I ever enjoying this song. I miss the 90s so much.

IN WHICH MONICA ASKS ME QUESTIONS

An interview meme as been making the rounds. People volunteer to be interviewed by various bloggers and then are emailed a set of fun questions to answer and post on their blog. Monica has interviewed me. I will interview the first five people that tell me they would like to be interviewed, and Monica because she asked.

1. What is the best thing about you? Would others agree?
The best thing about me? That is not an easy question at all. I would have to say that it is that I can be an incredibly good friend and really try to make my friends as happy as I can. Of course I have had arguments with friends before, that is part of friendship, but even when I am upset with someone I think that I still love them and want the best for them. i help them out when I can in whatever ways they need and truly enjoy doing it. Would others agree? I would like to think that they would. Since I tend to keep truly good friends for a while I would assume that they do.

2. If you could be great at one instrument, what would it be?
I would love to be great at the kalimba. The first time that I remember seeing one was at my Uncle Jimmy’s and he played it. Uncle Jimmy was always the epitome of cool and I thought that it was an incredibly cool instrument. It would also be something highly unusual to be truly awesome at. I would enjoy that. I bet you could use a kalimba player in your fake ass band. Ok that was mean, sorry. I know you guys are real.

3. If you had to pick between saving Cho Cho or your mix tapes from a fire, what would the choice be?
That is an easy choice. I would quickly forget all about how much I loved mix tapes in a fire. The first things I would grab would be Cho Cho, my college photo album, and my diaries. The mix tapes would be way down on the list.

4. What do you get out of making a blog?
I get a lot out of making a blog. Sometimes I get headaches from thinking about things to write and that reminds me of a time when I actually had to think produce things. I like that feeling and had missed it. I also really enjoy the greater blog community. I enjoy the voyeuristic aspect of peeking in on peoples lives. I have always been fascinated by people and what makes them work and blogs are a great way to enjoy that fascination without being totally intrusive and creepy. With a blog people put themselves out there and you don’t have to pull information from them. I also enjoy writing. Blogging gives me an excise to write about nothing and everything and I get some sort of validation from having people comment on and seem to enjoy the random things that are in my brain. Initially, I thought it would be a good way to waste time. It has become more than that.

5. What movie or book is the most like your life? Why?
I have been thinking of an answer to this question for a long long time (well the three hours since i read it). The most valid answer would be Bonnie’s Book of Beliefs (once it’s finished) because it is loosely based on my life. However, that is a total copout of an answer. To be absolutely accurate I would have to say Naive Super by Erlend Loe. One of the things that really struck me was the main character’s obsession with time and if it really matters or not. I have a strong obsession with, as well as an aversion to, the concept of time. Our main character couldn’t find any meaning in his life and was desperate for direction. Although I can find meaning here and there in my life, anyone reading this blog will see that I too am desperate for direction. He finds solace in childish games like the hammer and pegs and a rubber ball, I find solace in children’s books. I flipped through the book to see if I could find something that really explained how it summed me up; luckily I had taken a pen to it so that made finding good stuff easier. I found this, “And while dawn breaks, I sit there thinking that I’m a really good guy and never mind space and time and all the rest of it.” The thing is, he can’t help but mind space and time and all the rest of it. Neither can I.

The Stars That Play With Laughing Sam’s Dice, Jimi Hendrix- I love how Jimi Hendirx has all this music that comes out periodically. He is like 2 Pac. He wrote this song a long time ago. It was released a fairly decent time ago as well but some people will get the joke.

Master of Puppets, Metallica- UUHHHH UUHHHH this didn’t just happen. Please strike this from your memory

The Gambler, Kenny Rogers- The Muppet Show with Kenny Rogers as the guest contains a skit to the music of this song. It is relatively terrifying. There is an eerily human Muppet as the Gambler and he of course dies and then gets all ghostly and sings songs. Creepy.

AND MAMA COOKED THE BREAKFAST WITH NO HOG

Mama never cooks breakfast with hog and she is in NY with Sisterhead anyway. So is Dad, by the way, which makes me very jealous because he did not come to visit me last time mom came because he was “too busy,” whatever. Regardless, I am still having a good day. What is good about me having a good day at 10am is that it seems as if the day will get better and better as the hours pass. This is making me rather excited.

Yesterday was not a particularly good day. It was also not a particularly bad day although it threatened to be as we were scheduled to have two overnight guests. Now our couch is big, two people can easily sleep on it comfortably. However, it helps if those two people don’t mind getting a little cozy. Our guests were not the cozy type. Not that they have any problems with each other but they weren’t going to snuggle.

Tony and I were a little concerned about how it was all going to play out but we really couldn’t tell either person they couldn’t stay with us. Both are good friends. Tony tried to go to sleep to avoid the situation but I told him I was not answering the door for his friends and that he had to deal with it. Our first guest went to sleep pretty quickly after he came by. He didn’t take up to much space on the couch, which is amazing as he is one big dude (over 6ft over 300lbs big). When the other showed, he Tony and I gathered in the sunroom, the greatest and most underutilized room in the apartment, and commenced to drink and play games.

We started with rummy, and then moved to a game and a half of scrabble. We would have finished but I thought I had to go to bed and went to lie down but then realized I couldn’t sleep and in the two minutes it took me to get back to the game room they no longer wanted to play. I must say that I got an incredibly high scoring word “absolute” and it went over two triple word scores and I used all my letters and I felt really special (we're talking 131pts here people). The game we stopped playing was actually really close and the guys had a chance to really give me a run for it. The best word I couldn’t put anywhere was “ovulate”. I was a little sad about that but “absolute” fixed it.

We then started talking about Monopoly, which would usually get me really excited but as it was well past 2am at that point and I did have to get up for work I knew a three player game was not something I should get into. Instead I acted as banker, real estate agent, and payment reminder to the guys as they played. I wonder how they did after I went to bed. As I often needed to remind them about properties they owned and to pay each other I have a feeling it was a silly game. Although this fun stuff happened yesterday, it was late enough at night that we can technically call it today.

I was terrified of getting up and coming to work this morning. I knew it had been a late and ruckus night and I am not as young as I used to be. When the alarm went off the first time I was not happy. I didn’t think I could possibly get enough sleep in the next 30min to compensate for how I felt. I was wrong. 30min later I woke up to an abnormally sunny sky, a wide awake happy feeling, and a warm bathroom. It was so sunny I thought I woke up at the wrong time. But I didn’t.

When I got to work, things were still happy and I was ready to rework my contract. I just learned yesterday that some of the income guidelines I had been using were incorrect so I may be able to add a few people to my contract thus bolstering my retention numbers, which would be awesome. When I got here, Lakeiya came to my office with her hands behind her back and asked me to pick a hand. I chose correctly and she produced a brown paper bag with a small cylindrical container inside. I felt it, “could it be,” it was. A pint of Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream was inside. We have been talking about eating this ice cream since Tues March 6th and, although we have both looked, we haven’t been able to secure a pint. I can’t wait until lunchtime. *It is now after lunch and I am happy to say that the ice cream did not dissapoint. It truly was an Americone Dream. *

After work, I have a dinner party to attend at Dave E. Wo’s house. How fun is that going to be. Dave always has great food. Speaking of food, I just realized it is Foodie Friday. Having been especially poor this week I ate nothing particularly exciting. Well I did have enchiladas but I already posted about how to make those. The other meals were so lame there isn’t much to pull from. Alas, Foodie Friday will have to wait.

Another Sunny Day, Belle and Sebastian- This is a perfect theme song for today. Belle and Sebastian I actually pretty good theme music for most days, as long as you find the right song.

I Am Somebody (Part 2), Johnnie Taylor- I don’t think I have ever heard part one of this song. If it is as funky as part two it promises to be awesome.

Que Onda Guero, Beck- I never really “got” the Guero album. This song sounds a lot like Cypress Hill but more “alternative” I don’t not like this album it’s actually pretty groovy at times. If it were by another artist I may have been more impressed. However, I know that Beck has much better to offer.

GAME OF THE YEAR

Life would be better if I were a video game character. There would be so much that I could do and lofty goals for me to reach. They always have to save the world. I only have to save myself. Sometimes I think saving the world would be easier. You know what your goals are. You have one huge evil threatening the delicate balance of existence and it is up to you to brave terrors untold and hardships outnumbered and fight your way to the goblin city. Life isn’t that simple.

Heroes don’t have to worry about paying their bills, getting up in the morning, or finding the perfect job. Who cares about paying bills if the world is going to end? If you keep that from happening no one will ever ask you to pay a bill again? Do heroes even sleep? It seems like they just keep going and going, driven by the import of the task at hand. They already have perfect jobs, and have no choice in the matter, they are of vital import and they are given the means to succeed, unless they are a SIM and that is not the kind of video game character I want to be.

I want to run up walls like the Prince of Persia. I want to roll the world into a big ball for the glory of our sky a la Katamari. I want to overthrow an evil genie like Toan and travel back and forth in time like Max and Monica in the Dark Cloud series. I want to paint through life and slay demons like in Okami, I want to become a godless killing machine hell-bent on revenge to squash my inner demons like Cretos in God of War (well maybe not. He was a bad bad man in a good good game). I want to save the world from turning into robots with my little robot friend like Ratchet. I just want to do something special and I don’t want to think about it.

I think the hardest thing about life is figuring out what you want to do with yours. My only regret in not going to Medical School is that it would have been the easiest and most practical thing to do. It took me a long time to admit that. I have always said that I have no regrets about not going. I had to be honest with myself. I don’t regret the things I didn’t learn. I don’t regret not being a Dr. because I don’t think it is really what I am supposed to do with myself. I only regret the planned life that I would have led. Granted, I wouldn’t have the same friends I have now. I wouldn’t live in the same city I live in now. I would be a completely different person. I don’t want that. I just want someone to give me a plan.

I have always resisted setting goals for myself. Since grade school when I was first confronted with the idea of a goal I resisted with everything I had. I never saw the point. I always thought they left too much room for disappointment. Time tables are also like kryptonite to me. Anyone who knows me knows how often I have said “I don’t operate under the constraints of time,” and I have always meant it. I am more comfortable with the notion that things will just happen and come along. I agree with that mentality still, but I know that I need to provide some kind of catalyst for a major change. No evil lord is going to show up and force me to take action or the world as I know it will perish (and the current administration doesn’t count). It’s just not going to happen. I have to do this myself.

The fact that making decisions is the absolute hardest thing for me to do in the whole world doesn’t help. That is another reason I would prefer to be in a video game. You have seriously limited options in those worlds. You can run, jump, kick, punch, use weapons, and do various combo moves. That tends to be about it. The puzzles you go through are all relatively common sense, although you may have to find a hidden switch or two. If you get really stuck you can always look on the internet. That doesn’t work for real life.

I have to talk to people. I have to evaluate myself. I have to grow a freaking backbone. While I am fairly good at planning finances and small events, I suck at planning my life. I suck at making any choices that aren’t obvious. I suck at making myself the happiest person that I can be. I don’t suck at keeping myself comfortable. I’m really good at that. The thing about comfortable is that it is never more and never less. I want something bigger, something epic, and something memorable. Maybe I need to set some goals and make a timeline. That will never get done. It sounds horrible. Those asshole types say things like you never reach your goals if you don’t set them. They are right but they sound like assholes.

Fuck it. I’m programming myself into some fantastic caper and you can all take a turn at the sticks. It will be called Natalie vs. the Mad Muppeteer and I’ll have to stop some poser Jim Henson from creating horrid want to be new Muppet Movies. I’m not talking about Brian though, Muppets in Space was ok.

Icicle, Tori Amos- A song all about introspection and not quite fitting in. That works for today. It would make very bad video game music though. Well, the first part may be a great dream sequence where the mind was being taken over my some evil Muppet.

Funky Child, James Brown- This is a much better song for a video game. IT would be Muppets doing capoiera in a choreographed pattern that kicked my ass until I imported Eddie from the world of Tekken and kicked their asses on a whole different level.

Open Your Heart To Me, Madonna- This automatically reminds me of the Courtney Gears fight in Ratchet and Clank: Up Your Arsenal. She was a pretty badass evil lady.

THINGS THAT I LOVE- PART II

I was thinking of what deserved to be the next thing in the list of things that I love. I decided on Cho-Cho, the best bear in the world. I have had Cho-Cho since I was two years old. He was a Christmas present from my Grandma Mary (although I learned last year that my mom actually picked him out). I believe his name is supposed to be Chocolate for his coloring or maybe that just makes sense so I assume that as an adult. I wish I had the picture from when Cho-Cho was new because he truly was gorgeous (and my ever helpful mother sent me one, that is Sister in the picture with me). Not that he isn’t gorgeous now, but he has obviously been…very loved.

When I got Cho-Cho he was taller than me (well maybe not quite after I looked at the pictures again but I remember him being taller than me). He was an excellent dance partner. He was also an excellent sleeping partner, kind of like those body pillows that us grown-up people sometimes have. He was also a great thing to sneeze on, throw up on, spill things on, etc. He loves me though so it’s ok. That bear has been cleaned so many times it’s scary.

Until I was about 7 (correct me if I’m wrong, Mom) I lived in a room with my sister and we had an awesome blue bunk bed with a slide. I lived on the top bunk and so did Cho-Cho. Beside the bed, there was a lamp that had convenient little on off switches that I could reach from bed. It was great for reading. One day, I didn’t turn of the lamp and I left Cho-Cho sitting up beside it. When someone came back into the room, we discovered that Cho-Cho had a nice hole burnt in his neck. Guess who came to the rescue? Mom, of course. She sewed Cho-Cho’s burnt neck right up and he was good as new, so to speak. Actually the burn dent in his neck is perfect size to put your neck into and have a wonderful cuddly experience (dent is easily viewed above). Maybe post burn he was even better than new?

Then, when I was about 11 or so my allergist told me I had to get rid of my stuffed animals. See Cho-Cho was one of MANY. The other greats included Ringo (a tan bear with a green and white polka dotted bow tie who i got at the same time as Cho-Cho and the three of us are pictured here together on that wonderful christmas morning), Pandy (a panda bear), Lisa or Ellie (an elephant (one name was for my elephant one for my sisters) my memory kind of sucks sometimes but I think mine was Lisa), Pam-Pam (a doll I got around the same time as Cho-Cho and as you can see I liked to name things twice), a Beaver who may or may not have had a name but was really cool, an Ewok, a Snoopy, and many others. I was not happy about this forced removal of my friends. These guys and gals lived in my bed with me and I was not cool with sending them to boxes in the basement (where they live to this day). There was no way that Cho-Cho was going to the basement though and he lives in my bed to this day.

Once, in college, my friend Ben-man hit Cho-Cho. I promptly hit Ben-man. No one messes with my bear. He is my friend. I love him. I am very glad that Tony likes Cho-Cho. Even though he now mostly lives in the crack between the bed and the wall or smushed up by my pillows, Tony would never hit him. In fact, as I think I have mentioned, I sometimes find them sitting next to each other watching TV. Cho-Cho hasn’t been mad about getting pushed aside in bed though; he understands that I have grown up. Tony often asks me if I will give Cho-Cho to our kids (years down the road of course). Besides the fact that the poor bear is probably too old, musty, and falling apart to be around young kids, I don’t know if I could give him up. I can vomit on him but not some other kid (even if it were my kid). I think that would piss me off. I think Cho-Cho is staying with me. Anyway, my kid deserves their own friend for life. I only hope their friend is as good as mine.

Sing song lullaby time.

Truth is Stranger Than Hype, Jello Biafra- I like Jello a lot but MAN can that guy talk. Tony and I went to hear some of his spoken word, which was awesome, but he took an intermission after 3.5 hours. We felt bad about leaving before it was done but it had been 3.5 hours, come on. We weren't the only ones.

Ghouls Night Out, The Misfits- This is also a rather Tony influenced liking. I really like it though. I can't explain how odd I find it that I listen to and enjoy this kind of music. 16-year-old Natalie would be really upset at me right now. At least I still like most of the things she liked.

The World is Yours, Nas- Nas is good. In case anyone didn't know, Nas is a very talented guy. I bet you are wondering who I downloaded or rather purchased Illmatic for just a few days ago. Right again, it was Tony. I really do have my own music on my shuffle game, I promise.