NOT SO MINI MUSIC RANT

In the comments section from yesterday’s post my Mom talked about me getting on the ice to skate. I have been thinking about it a lot for the last month or even a little longer. The itch got really bad about three weeks ago while I was listening to The Magical Mystery Tour and my body just wanted to make a program for Strawberry Fields Forever. Sadly, there are no rinks that are particularly easy for me to get to and I like things to be easy. I secretly hoped that there was a rink on the DePaul campus that I could sneak some ice time on but there isn’t. They have an intramural hockey team but they practice at one of the few city rinks.

The first event of the season, Skate America, aired Oct 28th and the second, Cup of China was on last Sunday. Happily, there will be skating on every Sunday (except one) from now until Dec 23rd. Even though it makes me incredibly happy to see the top skaters so often and gauge how they will end up performing this year as we get to Worlds in March I am also experiencing some frustration with the sport.

In my posts last year I talked about how much I love the new judging system (based on a base value of points for each element) because it really pushes the skater to achieve more than they had to on the 6.0 system and is much fairer. I still agree with that statement. However, I am interested in why skating in the Us, which used to bring in great ratings, is failing so much. One of the reasons could be the lack of people like Dick Button to get spectators excited about the new system and instead maintaining his typical curmudgeon attitude. Some people have said that the sport is suffering because it is perceived as unfair and corrupt because of the incident at the 2002 Olympics. That could very well be true. However, instead of trumpeting the merits of the new system as being a way to stop such practices, the system was rolled out as complicated. Maybe it is just m but I think it is easier to understand that each move has a point value and then the points are added up then a system where they get random numbers assigned to them based on a program as a whole. Even after a life of skating that system didn’t make all that much sense.

Anyway, I have digressed from my point. My point is that even a lover of skating such as me sometimes has a hard time with some of the skaters. I have my favorites, people that light up the ice and you can’t stop watching, and I have people that I tend to watch out of the corner of my eye. I think the problem is incredibly simple. They need to do something about the music. They need to bring back innovation and interest. I can’t stand to hear another program with the music from Carmen, Sing Sing Sing, Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, The Mission soundtrack, or a Broadway melody. If I am getting bored with the music and I love the sport I can only imagine what the casual observer must think.

It isn’t as if there is a lack of music out in the world. There isn’t even a lack of instrumental music in the world. You don’t have to use classical music to be graceful and artistic. There are instrumental arrangements of popular music all over the place. Why aren’t people tapping into the true variety that is out there? New music would inherently bring new artistic expression and with new expression comes new excitement. How awesome would it be to see a short program to Da Funk by Daft Punk or a long program to some instrumental Radiohead piece? It would be entirely crazy awesome I tell you. Some people can carry off the classical pieces, they have a dance quality and a maturity that can actually express the music but some of the skaters just can’t get in tune with the traditional pieces. They need to recommend some selections to their coaches and choreographers, things that they like and motivate them. Sure, it may take the judges a little bit to get used to but if the top skaters do it I think it could work. I mean Jubert won everything possible last season to instrumental versions of Metallica. He was awesome. I’m keeping my fingers crossed. The sport is progressing physically and is increasingly more complex. The music needs to get modernized as well.

Oh, and another thing, stop taking skating videos off youtube for copyright issues US Figure Sating Assn the sport needs all the viewers it can get. Dumbases.

1. Underneath the bridge/ top has sprung a leak and/ the animals I trapped/ Have all become my pets

2. I met you on a midway at a fair last year/ and you stood out like a ruby in a Black man’s ear. That Song About The Midway. Joni Mitchell. Identified by Mom.

3. Make a list little Lars never seen a star/ Put his fans behind bars/ Can’t you see mp3 means you’re stealing from me/ you should have bought a Cd

4. Daddy’s ghost behind you/ sleeping dog beside you/ You’re a point of mystery/ You’re the prayer inside me

5. Does it make you happy to ignore me on streets/ I guess by now you think I’m weak/ I wish you could have said something before now

A BALD ASSHOLE IN MY BRAIN

Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes. I am incredibly excited. I have now started to get very nervous as well. It’s a good nervous, an exciting motivating nervous, but nervous all the same. The main reason I was looking for a new job was to do something new. I was no longer being challenged. However, it is nice to be someone who can answer questions about virtually every aspect of what goes on at work. It is nice to have someone come to you with a question and you not have to look anything up before you can quote numbers and statistics. It is nice to know you are really good at your job.

I have no doubt that I will become really good at my new job. I also know that it would be insane not to expect a lengthy period of adjustment. One of the nice things about when I am starting is that the students won’t be at school. I’ll have time until mid Jan before they return to get used to how everything works. I amso happy about that. It helps a lot. It certainly doesn’t erase the nerves though.

Last night I dreamt I was Larry David. If you know who that is, you will get a sense of how incredibly nervous I actually am. That man makes Woody Allen look relaxed and sane. Not only was I Larry David but I was Larry David lost in an enormous hotel that seemed to resemble parts of a temple in Ninja Gaiden Sigma. I haven’t even played that game in weeks since I bested the horrible Queen Fiend. Talk about a stressful battle. She was one of the most difficult bosses that I have ever faced in the history of gaming.

Once I became myself again in dreamland, I found myself taking train after train after train and getting delayed and lost in order to get someplace that I really could have walked to. Why I didn’t walk I have no idea because I usually prefer to walk short distances unless it is incredibly cold outside but it was not cold in my dream. It was a little cold after I woke up though so maybe it does make sense.

I know that everything will work out just fine. In a way I am actually glad to get out of my comfort zone. I know it is only natural to feel this way when starting something new. I just hope that my dreams will start to calm down because if they stay at this level of anxiety I will be a sick sick person in a number of weeks. I need to find something to keep me nice and relaxed for until I get started. Any suggestions?

1. I know/ I can’t find you/ I go/ sit beside you. I Know, The Best Band

2. We love to boogie/ we love to boogie/ Jitterbug boogie/ High school boogie/ we love to boogie/ On a Saturday night. We Love To Boogie, T-Rex (not I Love the nightlife (Disco Round) by Alicia Bridges although it could easily be mistaken for it)

4. Seven am so it begins again/ One zip favoring familiar silhouettes/ Left whips and chains/ Behind I’m boycotting trends it’s my new look this season. Girl Disappearing, Tori Amos

5. You see this kind if chick in every town/ whenever there’s a scene she’ always hanging around/ she’s so naive and innocent/ stares at you with awe/ she’s only 14 but she knows how to draw. Superlungs my Supergirl, Donovan.

I'M OVER IT

It is official. At about 4:30pm yesterday I put in my two weeks notice at work. As those who have been reading for a while know there is a lot that I really love about my job. However, I have reached a kind of stalemate. There isn’t much left for me to learn and there isn’t anywhere left to go. I’ve had my eyes open for a while, looking for the right opportunities and putting applications in here and there. Something perfect clicked and I am so excited about this new chapter.

I’m going to be working for DePaul University in the Career Development department. I’ll be working primarily with student employees and ensuring that they have actual work to do and are both learning themselves and growing the program. I’ll be in a relatively new part of the department so I’ll be able to not only grow myself but help grow the university and the services they offer. It is a wonderful opportunity. Not only that, but they have tuition reimbursement that starts on day one of employment. I have no idea what I’ll be studying but I do know that I will be getting my masters in something. The great thing is that I have all the time in the world to figure it out and I don’t have to worry about the financial burden of changing directions.

Continuing my education is something that I have wanted to do since leaving college, I simply haven’t known how or had the resources to do it. What a day, what a day. I’m going to miss a lot about this crazy place that I work but I guess that is a good thing. Having just hired an assistant for the contract I work on I can leave knowing the work I started is in good hands. I’m so glad for that because I put a lot into my Customer Service class and I wouldn’t feel good laving it with someone I didn’t trust. Come Nov 26th I am on to a whole new adventure. I can’t wait to get started.

1. I know/ I can’t find you/ I go/ sit beside you

2. We love to boogie/ we love to boogie/ Jitterbug boogie/ High school boogie/ we love to boogie/ On a Saturday night

3. Daddy’s flown across the ocean/ leaving just a memory/ a snapshot in the family album/ daddy what else did you leave for me. Another Brick In The Wall Pt. 1, Pink Floyd. Identified by Katrina

4. Seven am so it begins again/ One zip favoring familiar silhouettes/ Left whips and chains/ Behind I’m boycotting trends it’s my new look this season

5. You see this kind if chick in every town/ whenever there’s a scene she’ always hanging around/ she’s so naive and innocent/ stares at you with awe/ she’s only 14 but she knows how to draw

THE EDGE

I’m on the edge of something big. I want so much to write about it but I just can’t quite yet. There is nothing else that I want to write about so it has made posting a little hard. My office smells like Sbarro pizza, which I am not a huge fan of but right this second it sounds amazingly delicious. I have some pasta in the fridge though so I will not be eating pizza. My pasta is delicious. There is little better than a mixture of pesto and mushrooms. MMMMM food. That’s all I can say for now. I truly hope that I will be able to go over the edge, in a good way, in the next few days.

1. Lonesome cowboy bill/ Rides the rodeo/ Lonesome cowboy Bill/ You got to see him yodel-eh-he-hoo. Lonesome Cowboy Bill, Identified by Monica.

2. You never give me your money/ You only give me your funny paper/ and in the middle of negotiations/ you break down. You Never Give Me Your Money. The Beatles. Identified by Brooke.

3. I know/ I can’t find you/ I go/ sit beside you

4. We love to boogie/ we love to boogie/ Jitterbug boogie/ High school boogie/ we love to boogie/ On a Saturday night

5. I never meant to give you mushrooms girl/ I never meant to bring you to my world/ But now you’re sitting in the corner crying/ And now it’s my fault/ My fault. My Fault, Eminem. Identified by Brooke.

THE WONDERS OF INVINCIBILITY

I have always appreciated the power of meditation. I’m not a serious practitioner and certainly don’t know the ins and outs of “proper techniques” but I do feel that it is something that can bring people a sense of peace and enlightenment. For me, it is something to do instead of punching a wall, yelling uncontrollably, or spending copious amounts of money that I don’t have. Sometimes I know that you need to breathe, do some serious introspection, and try to become aware of yourself.

Because of these reasons, it is with great joy that I want to share the word about Invincible Donovan University set to open in Scotland. Invincible is the brainchild of two exceedingly awesome individuals, Donovan and David Lynch. According to an article in The Scotsman, “Students in the college will study education, health, economics and music and arts, along with ‘total knowledge’ and the ‘unified field’. It will promote national ‘invincibility’ and world peace.” How incredibly awesome is that. Not only will the students be getting relevant educations on basic Liberal Arts topics but they will also become invincible. Where was this school when I went to college? You are different so are we my ass. I want enlightened invincibility and world peace. Sure it isn’t built yet and doesn’t have accreditation but it is just a matter of time until that happens.

"For a country the size of Scotland it would take only 250 students meditating to protect Scotland from its enemies and to bring peace, to stop violence and drug abuse," Lynch said. "That is just a byproduct of the students meditating together." I wonder how many people we need meditating around the world to bring about the salvation of us all. Do I think it will truly work to the level that Lynch and Donovan claim? Probably not, but I don’t think it would hurt anything either. I think it is a really beautiful wonderful idea.

1. My dick costs a late night fee/ Your dick got the HIV/ My dick plays on the double feature screen/ Your dick went straight to DVD. My Dick, Mickey Avalon

2. Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Trippin’ over rails and fences/ Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Made of the mist in the abyss. Slippin Through The Sensors. Fruit Bats

3. I feel unhappy/ I feel so sad/ I’ve lost the best friend/ That I ever had. Changes, Black Sabbath

4. I really know how it feels to be/ Stressed out stressed out/ when you’re face to face with your adversity. Stressed Out, Tribe Called Quest

5. Sucking on my titties like you wanted me calling me/ all the time like Blondie/ Check out my chrissy behind it's fine. Fuck The Pain Away, Peaches

SOMEDAY...

Most mornings as I leave for work Tony sleepily opens his eyes and says something nice to me like, “I’ll miss you,” or “I love you,” something like that and I’ll say something nice back to him. This morning was no different except, after all the normal things he said something else, “Someday…” I asked him, “Someday what” and he sleepily replied, “Someday we can all be greasers.”

Someday we can all be greasers. As I left the room I wondered what kind of strange dream he was having and laughed to myself at the implications of that statement. What if it were true? What kind of world would greaser world be? Would it be somewhere I would want to live? Would I even know if I wanted to live there or not because it would just be the norm? Questions abounded so I just decided to go with it. What steps would we have to take to make this happen and would society be better as a result of the shift?

Step 1. Fashion
Leather will make a serious comeback. Not that I’m saying leather has ever truly gone out of style, it has always been around in some shape or form but the waist length leather jacket is generally only seen as acceptable in certain circles. It will become the “it” item. The leather pant will become acceptable everyday wear for all people, not just rock stars and prostitutes. The shiner the leather the more prestige it will have. Every male will rock a white-t. They won’t be hip-hop anymore. The size of the t-shirts will be regulated and no XXLs will be sold to people who are normal sized. Greasers don’t do baggy. Women are welcome to leather but will be encouraged to wear brightly colored Capri pants or knee-length pencil skirts. Sweaters, both long and short sleeved, will be the rage but are not to hit lower than the top of the hip, it will be acceptable to tuck them in. The bullet bra will be back in full force. The pointier the boobs are the hotter the woman will be. As far as hair goes, it is obvious we are talking grease and combs handy at all times. Neither men nor women will be exempt from this rule although the ladies will no be required to appear as if they have just com from the shower.

Step 2. Vehicles
The SUV will become completely obsolete and the muscle car will return with a vengeance. Motorcycle sales will skyrocket and every young lady who is anyone at all will ride a Vespa that matches their sweater or scarf. The sedan will be seen as the lamest of all lame vehicles. Trucks of the pick-up variety will be acceptable.

Step 3. Attitude
Smoking will no longer be banned in public places. In fact, it will be encouraged as will general loitering. Slang will be the norm because you can’t be cool and talk like a square. Rumbles will be acceptable as a last resort for settling arguments but not with heavy weaponry because only a chicken pulls a gun in a rumble. Real men fight with knives, chains, bats, and tire irons. People will be respected for their level of cool not their level of success in the traditional sense. Greasers will still want the global economy to run smoothly. Not to say that people won’t have the same jobs we do today but the pay scales for some professions will shift dramatically. The expert mechanic will be one of the highest paid professionals in the world.

So, would I enjoy life as a greaser? Is this the way that the world should head in order to solve our problems of war, greed, hate, and inequity? I admit that parts of it sound ok. Nukes would be out of the question, there is nothing greaser about killing people from hundreds of miles away. But rampant leather and smoking only promises more anger and general grossness among the population at large. I’ve always wanted a Vespa and there is something about those bullet bras that make sweaters look great. Even so, I like a variety of people. I know there are many styles of greasers and I haven’t even touched on so many aspects of greaser culture here but I think I might prefer more widespread tastes. I suppose that I’ll have to disagree with Tony. Someday, we can’t all be greasers. It just wouldn’t work.

1. My dick costs a late night fee/ Your dick got the HIV/ My dick plays on the double feature screen/ Your dick went straight to DVD.

2. Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Trippin’ over rails and fences/ Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Made of the mist in the abyss.

3. I feel unhappy/ I feel so sad/ I’ve lost the best friend/ That I ever had.

4. I really know how it feels to be/ Stressed out stressed out/ when you’re face to face with your adversity

5. Sucking on my titties like you wanted me calling me/ all the time like Blondie/ Check out my chrissy behind it's fine

A SPOOKY MEME

I found this meme over at Katrina's blog and just had to take it. I am like totally trying to get in the spirit.

1. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen?
Hands down it was the original Amityville Horror. That was easily the scariest thing ever created. It was based on a true story which made it even more terrifying. The new one was horrible, I fell asleep in the theater.

2. What was your favorite Halloween costume as a child?
Voltron, I was wicked awesome. I had a mask and a Blazing Sword that talked. I had big old shoulders made of cardboard.

3. Given enough money what would be your fantasy Halloween costume?
I really want Tony and I to go as Ernie and Bert because he is tall and I am short, I have a roundhead and he has a long one. It shouldn’t be that hard to do but since we love Ernie and Bert so much we would want it to be perfect and since I don’t have time to shop for the perfect striped sweaters or make a very very long paperclip chain I would want to hire someone to do this for us.

4. When was the last time you went trick-or-treating?
I want to say I was 14 or 15. I was far too old for it.

5. What is your favorite Halloween candy?
As far as traditional Halloween candy goes I would say candy corn. It is incredibly disgusting and tastes as if chalk were made of marshmallows but I still like it.

6. Tell us about a scary nightmare you once had.
Well the scariest are the nightmares about the Blue Meanies. If you want true horror click on the link. My first nightmare was of a HUGE monarch butterfly wearing high top turquoise Chuck Taylor’s stomping around my bed and looking at me. It sucked.

7. What is your supernatural fear?
The guy outside the window. He has a long long beard and fucked up teeth. He has wispy long falling off hair and he cackles. He looks like he spent way too long out at sea. I swear I have seen him outside my bedroom window many many times. The thing is that my bedroom is almost never on the first floor. He also doesn’t generally have a body.

8. What is your "creepy-crawly" fear?
Pede-like creatures are the worst of all creatures. You know em, those really fast centipede type creatures that can swim so you can't drown them in the toilet. Ugh.

9. Tell us about a time when you saw a ghost or heard something go bump in the night.
Other than the headless old man at the window I would have to say in the Marshall Field Music Building at SLC. It has always been said that the building is haunted. People would get trapped in practice rooms or other strange things would happen. The stories of where the ghost originated are vast and unconnected. One day I was in there with my sister and her friend Corey and I went into this dark back stairway for some reason. The door slammed shut on me (no one was around because they were on a different floor) and it wouldn’t open. It was pitch black and utterly terrifying. I pulled and pulled and pushed and twisted the knob but all in vain. Then it just swung open. Very strange.

10. Would you stay overnight in a real haunted house?
I might say that I would but if something real fucked happened I would be out the door.

11. Are you a traditionalist or a creative carver of your Jack-O'Lantern?
I haven’t carved a pumpkin in a really long time but I like to think that I would do something creative. Then again, I would probably try but not be happy with it and then just cut some triangles for eyes and a crooked mouth to cover up my errors.

12. How much do you decorate your house at Halloween?
None. That is for people with kids.

13. What do you want on your tombstone?
I don’t really expect to have one because I am going to live forever.

1. My dick costs a late night fee/ Your dick got the HIV/ My dick plays on the double feature screen/ Your dick went straight to DVD.

2. Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Trippin’ over rails and fences/ Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Made of the mist in the abyss.

3. I feel unhappy/ I feel so sad/ I’ve lost the best friend/ That I ever had.

4. I really know how it feels to be/ Stressed out stressed out/ when you’re face to face with your adversity

5. Sucking on my titties like you wanted me calling me/ all the time like Blondie/ Check out my chrissy behind it's fine

MANIC MONDAY: FROST

It has been a long time since I have done a Manic Monday. Visit Mo to see other Manic Monday participants. I keep meaning to but then I keep forgetting or have something else to talk about. Today I want to talk about this word. Frosty.

There are many things that are frosty; Frosties, Frost, Ice, Windows, Bitches, etc. However, there is one type of frost that surpasses all and that is the sheet of frost on the outside of a proper Jell-O Pudding Pop. Once you have dispatched with the frosty ice sheet the pop will then bend in a luscious and wonderful way. Unfortunately, these pops are no longer available. The Jell-O pops of today are all wrong. They are the wrong shape, the wrong taste, and they have no frosty ice sheet. They are a true disappointment.

However, all is not lost. There is a frosty ice sheet to be had. It exists on a fruit pop instead of a pudding pop but that is ok. It will do. I’m, talking about Breyers all fruit bars. MMMMM delicious. They are also shaped like the pudding pop so that makes them even more perfect. I have eaten the Strawberry flavor so it is really the only one I can completely vouch for but I have a feeling that all flavors will suffice. Under the frosty ice sheet the pops bend in a Jell-O-like way as well. These pops are excellent. They are also incredibly low in calories and sugars. You can’t beat that.

I really want to try the Swirl variety pack. Man those flavors sound fantastic; Blueberry Lemon, Strawberry Blueberry, Strawberry lemon, and Strawberry Orange. Plus, the swirl pudding pop was always my favorite. I feel really sad for Monica because I know how much she loves pudding pops (maybe even more than I do) and most of these flavors have strawberry in them and she can’t eat Strawberry. The rest of you should eat these things. I can’t stand frosty goodness like this disappearing twice.

1. My dick costs a late night fee/ Your dick got the HIV/ My dick plays on the double feature screen/ Your dick went straight to DVD.

2. Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Trippin’ over rails and fences/ Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Made of the mist in the abyss.

3. I feel unhappy/ I feel so sad/ I’ve lost the best friend/ That I ever had.

4. I saw her today at the reception/ A glass of wine in her hand. You Can't Always Get What You Want, Rolling Stones. Identified by Phil

5. I really know how it feels to be/ Stressed out stressed out/ when you’re face to face with your adversity

MY WORK THERE IS DONE

My workshop graduated yesterday. I finished 14 out of 18 people for a 77% grad rate. The average is 60% so I am pretty happy to have kept most of them. One of the things I most enjoyed was having each client turn to the person next to them and say something positive. It was hard for some of them because a few didn’t really get along with the person next to them all that well. However, they were at least able to say that they wished them luck in their job search. One client turned to another and she said that she had seen a lot of growth in him, in the way he spoke and presented himself. That when he walked into class on Wednesday in his suit for his practice interview it was like looking at a whole new person. The entire class appreciated that and the smile on the young man’s face told it all.

Some of them felt they had really grown and learned a lot. Even though our program is only eight days long, there really can be a noticeable change in some of the clients. There is a change in their communication, their confidence, and in their level of hope and certainty about their futures. It is amazing to be a part of that transformation.

The first five days of workshop we spend the last hour going over five common interview questions.

Day 1- Tell me a little about yourself
Day 2- What are your greatest strengths
Day 3- What is one of your weaknesses
Day 4- Where do you see yourself in 3, 5, or 10 years
Day 5- why should I hire you

I told them that since we asked that first question I had seen a huge amount of growth and maturity in their answers and that I was proud of all of them. At that point, even the ones who felt they hadn’t changed at all seemed to acknowledge that fact. They changed from people who stumbled over their words and didn’t know how to make themselves look good into confident young men and women who knew that they had something to offer. One of the students even said they should go around and answer that first question again just to see how far they had come. The rest of the class groaned so only she answered the question but the confidence with which she did was awesome.

Sure there were some bumps in the road and I have some things I need to tighten up as far as scheduling and even teaching some of the sessions. Regardless, I feel I taught them what needed to be taught and showed them a different way of doing things. I have high hopes for them all. On Monday I get a whole new group and it starts again.

1. Imagine there’s no heaven/ It’s easy if you try/ No hell below us/ Above us only sky. Imagine. John Lennon. Identified by Monica

2. I lost my lucky ball and chain/ now she’s four years gone. She's five feet tall and sick of me/ And all my carrying on. Lucky Ball and Chain, They Might Be Giants. Identified by Monica.

3. My dick costs a late night fee/ Your dick got the HIV/ My dick plays on the double feature screen/ Your dick went straight to DVD.

4. Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Trippin’ over rails and fences/ Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Made of the mist in the abyss.

5. I feel unhappy/ I feel so sad/ I’ve lost the best friend/ That I ever had.

10 SNOGGABLE FICTIONAL MALES

Cassandra, Customized Training Assistant, seems to be doing well. Today we played find the files. It was not an easy game. Before we moved offices things were exactly where I expected them to be. Now, not only do I not know where files are, no one seems to know. As we have an audit coming up relatively soon and are missing a few (and I mean very few) files, this could prove to be a problem. We have some good people trying to help locate them though so it should all be ok. The Volunteer Coordinator resigned after her first day. I am really pissed. Anyway.

Blog Antagonist had this really interesting meme up a while ago about 10 literary characters that you would want to make out with. Being quite a reader, I thought that I would have no problems with this whatsoever. I actually found it to be quite hard. I could only come up with four (and that was a challenge only two were easy) so I really take no responsibility for anyone five and after. I had to push the envelope a little bit. You are all probably going to now find me a very odd individual. See, here is the thing. Most of the books I love aren’t teeming with positive male characters that I would want to make out with. In fact, many of the books that I love have pretty horrible men in them. I like books about bad people. Oh well.

1. Valentine Michael Smith, Stranger in a Strange Land
Ah, the man from Mars, a genuinely honest person who loved humanity more than anything in the universe. It was written that when he kissed or made love he was able to focus only on the person that he was with. His mind was empty of everything except experiencing that moment. It was said to be quite nice. It sounds quite nice. He understood people but didn’t understand the world in which they lived. He tried things his own way and changed people for the better. That is why he had to be my number one.

2. Howard Roark, The Fountainhead
Roark was actually the first person that I thought of but he was soon eclipsed by Mike. There is something incredibly sexy about someone who is incredibly passionate and rigid in their convictions even if those convictions sometimes make you an asshole. Roark was a sick fucker but I loved him and wish more people felt as passionately about their work as he did. Well, maybe not that passionate, but close.

3. Paul Mua’dib, Dune
Paul had powers. Really cool powers that let him lead people and guide a society. I’m not so sure I want to make out with Paul from the latter books because, if I recall correctly, he went a little bonkers but in this book he was an inspiration. He was a hero and he loved with all his heart. Wait, wasn’t he 15? Oops, I promise that I literally just remembered that while I was writing. Damn. Take my list down to three legitimate entries.

4. Switters, Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates.
Switters is a nutjob. He is a walking talking contradiction but he loves life and he loves women. He’s a real Indiana Jones type of guy who is appropriately reverent of other cultures. Yet, he still questions the validity of most social constructs. Plus, if he could get a nun to sleep with him he had to be offering something pretty good.

5. Pan, Jitterbug Perfume
Yes, I realize that Pan is a half-man half-goat. As you can see my list has gotten quite wonky. Pan loved the ladies and the ladies loved Pan. Sure, he smelled like a goat in heat all the time but that’s what the perfume was all about.

6. Hazel, Watership Down
Hazel is a rabbit. That is even sillier than a half-man half-goat. It doesn’t even make sense. However, if Hazel was a person, he would be right up there after Roark. Hazel was the best person a rabbit could be. He led his flock to a new home where they would be safe and thrive. He orchestrated a plan to liberate does from the clutches of an evil tyrant. He was incredibly smart and knew how to harness the strengths of those around him. He was a true leader because he knew when to follow.

7. Azlan, The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe
Sure, Azlan is a lion and an allegory for Jesus. I’m not trying to say I want to make out with Jesus or a lion. Azlan is just freaking cool. He is magic, just, wise, and brave. He would sacrifice himself for the betterment of the world and has no problem taking a kid for a ride on his back. Azlan would make a good dad.

8. Severus Snape, Harry Potter
Yeah, the man was not the most attractive. Granted, he was an evil wizard. However, his love for a woman was stronger than his loyalty to domination and control. To make it even more impressive it was a love that was unrequited. If he could feel that strongly about a woman who didn’t even love him back he was obviously a man with a lot to offer. Or else he was a total sicko. It really could go either way.

9. Winston Smith, 1984
What could possibly be kissable about a man who would turn his one true love over to a horrible oppressive government to save himself you may ask? Well here it is; Winston Smith tried. He really really tried. For a while he even succeeded. Sometimes society will crush someone and they just aren’t strong enough to resist. Winston Smith was just a regular guy and he couldn’t beat the system but I would give him a kiss for trying.

10. Smog, The Hobbit
Smog was evil. Smog had scales. Smog was a greedy money hungry killer. He was not a nice guy. However, Smog was really into himself and sometimes a rich stuck up guy can have something inexplicable going for him. He's like a dragon Bateman. I was really grasping at straws by this point people. Give me a break.

2. I prayed to/ Heaven today/ Bring its hammer down on me/ And pound you out of my head/ I can’t think with you in there. Missing, Beck

3. I spend the afternoon in cars/ I sit in traffic jams for hours/ Don’t push me I am not ok. Jumpers, Sleater Kinney

5. So they say I was sometimes cruel/ I don’t know if I would say that too/ Oh I/ I don’t know about that. Sixteen, Le Tigre

FOODIE FRIDAY: SOUP AND SALAD

I made this dish on Wednesday and it was totally yummy. I haven’t made soup in ages although I used to have this awesome lentil and potato soup recipe that has disappeared along with the recipe notebook I had in college. It is too bad, that thing was great. It disappeared sometime at Addison apartment. I am not sure when but one day I went to grab it and the thing was gone.

Anyway, I made a new soup and it was pretty easy to make. The only difficult part was straining it and I am sure there are gadgets out there much better than my mesh colander for straining soup. Or maybe not and it is just a pain to do. If I had a bowl the same size as the colander it would have been much easier. The soup will serve 3-4 while the salad will serve 2

Pear and Goat Cheese Salad with pesto vinaigrette
-4cups salad greens of your choosing, ideally something with a little bitterness
-1 pear halved and cored
-2tbsp herbed goat cheese (or regular if you like)
-2tbsp slivered almonds (I made more than needed because they taste good)
-8 radishes sliced into thin rounds
-Tsp garlic powder
-Salt and pepper to taste
Dressing
-1tbsp pesto
-3tbsp balsamic vinegar

-Preheat oven to 350
-Place almonds on a baking sheet and dust with spices
-Toast for 7 min (give or take) stirring occasionally
-Put 1tbsp goat cheese in the cored out section of the pears
-Place stuffed pear in center of 2 cups of salad greens
-Sprinkle radishes and 1tbsp almonds over salad
-Dress lightly with the pesto vinaigrette

Potato, leek, and cauliflower soup with asparagus and thyme
-4 spears asparagus chopped into bite sized rounds
-½ head cauliflower chopped but not all that fine
-1 potato peeled and sliced
-2 medium leeks sliced into thin rounds (only the white and light green parts)
-2tbsp butter
-3.5cups vegetable broth
-2 cloves garlic pressed
-10 small sprigs fresh thyme
-Salt and pepper to taste
-2tbsp freshly grated parmesan cheese
-½ cup room temperature nonfat yogurt
-4 pieces thinly (1/2in) sliced ciabatta bread

-Put 1.5tbsp butter in a soup pot and melt
-Sauté leeks about 2 min
-Add garlic and sauté 1min
-Add cauliflower, potato, 6 sprigs thyme, and a dash each of salt and pepper and sauté 5 min
-Remove sprigs of thyme and discard
-Add vegetable broth and simmer 20 min or until cauliflower and potato are soft
-Pour mixture into a blender or food processor and liquefy
-Pour blended soup through a thin colander to strain out most of the pulp. It will take a while if you have a colander that fits nicely over the top of a big bowl it will be nice and easy
-Heat oven to 350
-Rub bread in the seasonings left in the baking sheet from the almonds and then cover one side with parmesan
-Bake 5-8 min until crisp and cheese is melted and browned
-Put the rest of the butter into the pan and melt
-Sauté asparagus rounds until slightly soft but still keep a nice crispness about 7 min
-Once the soup is strained add the yogurt and whisk until smooth
-Add asparagus rounds
-If needed heat over med-low heat but do not bring to a boil
-Garnish with 2 slices of ciabatta bread and the remaining thyme sprigs

Enjoy

1. If this world were mine/ I would place at your feet/ all that I own/ You’ve been so good to me. If This World Were Mine, Luthur. Identified by Urban Chick

2. I prayed to/ Heaven today/ Bring its hammer down on me/ And pound you out of my head/ I can’t think with you in there

3. I spend the afternoon in cars/ I sit in traffic jams for hours/ Don’t push me I am not ok

4. Pistol shots/ Gun shots/ pistol shots/ Gun shots/ Bullets from a revolver/ bullets from a gun/ Bullets through the atmosphere/ here they come. Sapphire Bullets of Pure Love, TheyMight Be Giants. Identified by, Monica

5. So they say I was sometimes cruel/ I don’t know if I would say that too/ Oh I/ I don’t know about that

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEAD

I write about a lot of things on this blog but have noticed that in the 252 posts I have only mentioned my sister, Shoshana, in seven of them. I find that to be very odd. Maybe it is because I am so protective of her that I don’t want to put Shoshana stuff out there for everyone to see. Maybe it is just because when we talk it is often in code and doesn’t make sense to other people. Either way, I think today is a good time to talk about her because today she is one quarter of a century old.

I remember running down the hall when she was being born. I remember holding her afterward and just being amazed at how much she was like me. I don’t remember the actual birth, it was probably too gross to remember or maybe I wasn’t in the room for that part.

She was a horrible baby. She was huge and mean and would push me off our mother’s lap when we were both trying to sit on it. I still loved her though. She got better as she got older, more fun to play with and easier to push back. You can’t go around pushing a baby when you are three. It’s just not right. She had this impish quality to her face and her eyes were always twinkling with mischievous intent. That quality hasn’t entirely left her. There is nothing quite as worrisome as Shoshana with a glint in her eye and a cackle on her lips. It means she will probably want me to do something. Or else that she just farted. She loves farting and general crass behavior but I don’t think she realizes that most people don’t. A weird one is that Shoshana.

She is the only extrovert in a family of introverts and sometimes that makes her incredibly annoying. She has these urges to go out and do things and has the energy of a ten year old. I would rather sit on my ass most of the time. I will say, however, that when I go to visit her she brings out the doer in me and when she comes to visit me I bring out the sitting on the couch and watching TV in her.

Some of my favorite Shoshana memories were while we were on summer vacations. We would watch MTV and The Box for hours and hours. We would play games and run around the yard. I would cook burritos for us for lunch. I would try desperately to make home friend potatoes but didn’t quite understand how long a potato had to cook and over what heat. I always made her eat what I made. I got better. Those were the days. There were also the days years later when I would come home form college and pass out in bed only to awaken to her snuggled up next to me. It creeped me out and I wanted to kick her but Shoshana has never been one to go light on the affection and I knew she just missed me.

We were always very close, even when fighting. We could always count on each other for some good game playing or Lego building. If I wanted to play Lego tomorrow she would be the first one I would think of. Unfortunately, she lives across the country and I don’t get the chance very often.

For her age, Shoshana has done quite a bit. I usually don’t think of her achievements as all that special because she’s my stupid little sister and so what. She has taught High School, worked as a community organizer, designed a new High School that opened in The Bronx, and most recently up and moved to LA to join Americorp and work with Habitat for Humanity. She’s made a difference to so many people in her life and is working on influencing more. She may even become a firefighter. I still can’t keep a straight face when I think of that prospect but if it is what she really wants I am sure she will make it happen. That’s the kind of kid she is. I’m proud of her. Even though I rarely say it I hope she always knows.

1. If this world were mine/ I would place at your feet/ all that I own/ You’ve been so good to me
2. I prayed to/ Heaven today/ Bring its hammer down on me/ And pound you out of my head/ I can’t think with you in there

3. I spend the afternoon in cars/ I sit in traffic jams for hours/ Don’t push me I am not ok

4. Fish heads/ Fish Heads/ Rolly polly fish heads/ Eat them up yum. Fishheads, Barnes and Barnes. Identified by Johnny Yen.

5. I am intrinsically no good/ I have a heart that’s made of wood/ And I am only biding time/ Only reciting memorized lines. The Hem Of Your Garment, Cake. Identified by Brooke.

A GOOD WEEK SO FAR

Yesterday I got the chance to do two new things at work. The first was to being my 8-day pre-employment workshop. Even though I am only on day 1.5 of 8 I think it is going quite smoothly and I don’t have anything to worry about. Not even the fact that my career counselor (who teaches much of the workshop with me) will be out of the office next week. I’m not quite sure why she needed to b out during my first class but so it goes. I’m fine with it. The second thing was to offer someone a job. I have told clients that they have been offered jobs before but it isn’t the same at all. This is someone whose resume I reviewed, who I called in for her interview, and who I got to make the hiring decision about. She starts tomorrow! I am so excited. Finally I can get some help around here.

To make things even better they are hiring a volunteer coordinator so I will never *fingers crossed* have to do that stupid job anymore. The candidate that I almost hired for my training assistant position ended up interviewing for that and they are going to offer her the position, unless they already did. The only bummer about that is that it isn’t someone else I had recommended who didn’t get hired because of some stupid stuff but there isn’t anything I can do about that. At least I feel a little better about not offering her the assistant position. I really liked her.

Tomorrow my little sister, Shoshana, will be twenty-five. What a grown-up age. I can hardly believe it. It makes me feel a little old, but not as old as being at that Of Montreal show did so it will be okay.

As I am in a very happy mood I think I will include a youtube clip that made me very happy last night. I was searching for live clips of Of Montreal doing songs I want them to play and but they never will I came across this video that a couple of random dudes made to the ever so wonderful, Tim Wish You Were Born A Girl. It’s less than two minutes long so none of you have any excuse but to watch and see how incredibly adorable and wonderful and sweet this song is. Then, if you are feeling extra happy (which you should be after that song), check out the Hiemdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse video because who doesn’t like a great song with a video that looks as it if cost $10 and makes no sense? I won't be mad it you don't because even though it is under four minutes that is almost twice as long as the first. One of these days I promise I will stop obsessing over this band that no one knows about. I will. Really. I mean it. Random songs are after the videos.





1. If this world were mine/ I would place at your feet/ all that I own/ You’ve been so good to me

2. Oh it’s good/ Good to see you again/ Good to meet your girlfriend/ I’ll try not to wonder where you are/ when you go outside to kiss her in the front seat of your car. Good, Bad, Ugly. Ani DiFranco. Identified by Brooke.

3. I prayed to/ Heaven today/ Bring its hammer down on me/ And pound you out of my head/ I can’t think with you in there

4. Lately I find myself out gazing at stars/ Hearing guitars/ Like someone in love. Like Someone in Love, Bjork. Identified by Brooke.

5. I spend the afternoon in cars/ I sit in traffic jams for hours/ Don’t push me I am not ok

THE BEST SHOW I ALMOST NEVER SAW

This past Sunday Monica and I went to an incredibly fantastic concert. We thought it was an Of Montreal concert, which it was, but it was also an MGMT and Grand Buffet concert. For some reason the opening acts were not listed anywhere. We had debated going to the show for some time. We initially planned to go when the tickets went on sale. After we got online and went to order them we were horrified by the $14 increase in price by using Ticketmaster (they were $19 tickets) and didn’t click buy. We then planned to go to the box office but then didn’t. Since we had just seen Of Montreal at Pitchfork we thought it might be okay if we missed the show. Seeing as they played almost exclusively from their new album (Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?) at Pitchfork, we didn’t want to go see the same show, even though we like that album much better now than we had at the time. Friday after work we decided to get tickets. Since it was their show and not a festival it would have to be longer and therefore they couldn’t only play songs from the new album because they would have more time. It made sense.

As we walked up to The Metro and looked at the people standing in line I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t just feel old, I felt really old. Damn these all ages shows! I saw at least three people who brought their mothers because they weren’t old enough to go to the big city by themselves to see a show. The average age couldn’t have been over twenty and it may have been younger. We considered not standing in line with the youth but then got over ourselves and stood. When we got inside we went up to the front of the stage and ended up talking to some kids. They were really excited that we had been at Pitchfork. We were slightly uncomfortable both with their youth and the tight proximity of folks and noticed that the balcony was mostly clear and would provide an awesome view. We decided to be more comfortable and let the kids have their fun.

MGMT was real okay. I liked one of their songs. There were plenty of fans there who liked many of their songs. I was confused. I attributed it to my age and let it go. Grand Buffet was next. When I saw a large man that looked very much like Jay McCaroll of Project Runway fame wearing a cape made out of a towel I knew this band was going to be awesome. His bandmate was a skinny man who looked surprisingly like Satan, but a nice Satan. They were utterly awesome. Their banter was hilarious and they made a lot of fun of Of Montreal. They had a $15 budget and came up with a projection of Steve Martin eating dinner uncomfortably and some random props like a broom, a stuffed dog, and a cinder block not the sophisticated theatrics of Of Montreal but just as great. It was hilarious. Not to mention that their music was incredibly fun. I highly recommend seeing them if you ever have the chance. We danced like crazy and were afraid that their show was going to be better than Of Montreal, kind of like Jamie Liddell was at Pitchfork. Luckily we were wrong.

Of Montreal started out a little rough, which was surprising because they opened with one of my favorite songs, Labyrinthian Pomp, it just sounded a little crappy and off. They followed with another awesome yet off song, She’s a Rejecter. Then, without any segue went into Suffer for Fashion, it sounded awesome. Although I was somewhat dismayed because it was as if someone had started their album at song 11, let that and song 12 play, let the album restart at 1 and then played 2 and 3. Even though songs 11-12 and 1-3 flow into each other I wanted something different. Then came a new song which featured Kevin having relations with the floor, uuhhhh…okay. I was then afraid that it would only be new songs and Hissing Fauna. After Kevin wore the floor out they went into October is Eternal, an excellent instrumental piece (that we heard at pitchfork) and he went to change.

Imagine my elation when he came back out and I heard the opening notes of Oslo in the Summertime. OH MY GOD!!! I lost my shit. That is my jam and I certainly didn’t expect it. They followed with a whole bunch of excellent cuts from Sunlandic Twins mixed with Hissing Fauna. I even enjoyed The Past is a Grotesque Animal, which is one of the two songs I don’t always listen to on Hissing Fauna. It’s much better live. I still hated Bunny Ain’t No Kind of Rider I don’t know why people like that song. It is boring.

There were a few things that I would have loved to hear. Faberge Falls For Shuggie (the only Hissing Fauna song I really would have liked to hear and didn’t although A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsvinger would have been nice (part of me almost thinks I heard it but I didn’t), Wraith Pinned to The Mist and Other Games (which I will never hear because they don’t play it in this country anymore due to the mistake of turning it into an Outback Steakhouse commercial), and one of the many adorable songs I want to hug off Cherry Peel, The Bedside Drama, or Coquelicot Asleep In The Poppies (but I never will because they have moved past that stage in their careers). After the show Monica and I looked like we had been through it. My hair was as wet as if I had just stepped out of the shower and Monica looked like she had been at one of those 100 degree yoga sessions. Neither one of us had danced like that in…a very long time. At one point in time Monica asked me if we still like Belle and Sebastian better. I said yes. I think I might have changed my mind. But I’m not sure. We then went for snacks and wrote down the set list. Here it is

Labyrinthian Pomp
She's A Rejecter
Suffer for Fashion
Sink the Seine
Cato as a Pun
Exquisite Confessions
October is Eternal
Oslo in the Summertime
Forecast Fascist Future
Gronlandic Edit
The Past Is A Grotesque Animal
Requiem for OMM2
Bunny Ain't No Kind Of Rider
The Party's Crashing Us Now
Heimdalsgate Like A Promethean Curse
Encore
Soft-core
Rapture Rapes the Muses
I Was Never Young

2. The times we had/ Oh when wind would blow with rain and snow/ Were not all bad. Postcards From Italy, Beirut.

3. I wanna bathe in milk/ Eat grapes/ Robert DiNero sit on my face. Reeling, PJ Harvey

SPINACH AND MUSHROOM ENCHILADAS

It has been a long time since I have done a proper Foodie Friday but since Monica asked me for the recipe for these incredibly delicious enchiladas I made on Wednesday to celebrate the Top Chef finale. I thoughttoday was a perfect time for a foodie resurrection. Some of you may be saying, “Wait, she has written about enchiladas before.” and you would be correct. These are not the same enchiladas though so it is ok. However, you could use the enchilada sauce recipe from the above post and be totally awesome. The reason these babies are so great is the food processor that Tony’s mom got me for my birthday. Coating the cheese in the spinach makes for the creamiest delicious fluffy filling around.

-1lb or so of fresh spinach
-1/2 small jalapeño pepper
-2 cloves garlic pressed
-½ tbsp butter
-½ white onion
-2 limes
-2tbsp cilantro
-12 small tortillas (flour or corn)
-10oz Chihuahua cheese
-1lb mushrooms sliced thickly
-2 cans enchilada sauce (I think they are about 5oz each I used red but green would also be quite tasty (or you can make some))

-Preheat oven to 450

-Place the spinach, half of the jalapeño, 1 clove garlic, half the onion, juice from one lime, and half the cilantro in a food processor. Blend until it is the consistency of pesto, it shouldn’t take long.

-Grate 7oz of cheese into a large bowl and then toss with all but about 1/4cup of the spinach mixture so the cheese is nicely coated.

-Melt butter in a large sauté pan, when hot add the rest of the onion. I sliced it into long strips and that worked very well, let cook briefly and then add the second clove of garlic, let it cook for about a minute and then add the mushrooms and the other half of the jalapeño diced let cook until mushrooms are nice and tender. Douse the entire mixture with juice of ½ lime

-Heat tortillas until soft about 40 sec in the microwave

-Coat a deep baking pan with one can of enchilada sauce

-Place about 1/8 cup of the spinach and cheese mixture on each tortilla then spoon about a tbsp of the mushroom mixture on top spreading evenly.

-Roll the tortillas and place them in the pan

-Cover with the other can of enchilada sauce and the remaining cheese

-Bake about 20 minutes

-Serve with about a tbsp of the spinach mixture drizzled over the enchilada or on the side of the plate, garnish with a small lime wedge from the ½ lime you have left over and the remaining cilantro can be sprinkled playfully over the enchiladas.

Enjoy

1. You’ve got style/ That’s what other girls say/ Satin sheets/ and luxuries so fine. Dress You Up, Madonna. Identified by Urban Chick

2. The times we had/ Oh when wind would blow with rain and snow/ Were not all bad

3. I wanna bathe in milk/ Eat grapes/ Robert DiNero sit on my face

4. She came she came to meet a man/ she found an angel/ Coocoo coocoo Barabajagal was his name oh. Barabajagal, Donovan. Identified by Monica

5. Let's have bizarre celebrations/ Let’s forget who forget what forget where. Wraith Pinned To The Mist and Other Games, Of Montreal. Identified by Identified by Monica

THIS STATE I'M IN

On Tuesday I will be starting yet another phase in my career at Jobs For Youth. I will begin teaching the 8-day pre-employment workshop that we offer. I have little to no idea of what I am doing. Everyone around me is certain that I will have no problems and they are probably correct. I just like to have a finite plan for work.

Apparently, no written curriculum exists for this class. There is an outline with the topics that need to be covered and how much time will be spent on each topic. I think that it will be sufficient but I am not sure. I did get one written sheet yesterday that talked about the orientation that will be given to students on the first day. That made me feel a little bit better.

I guess that I know the material; resumes, interview questions, cover letter, thanks you letter, job applications and the like. All that stuff I am fine with. There is also a “Money Smart” component where I talk about budgeting and the benefits of using financial institutions over currency exchanges or your sock drawer. I think that section is where I am the most nervous. I certainly am ok at managing my finances but I would like a little more training before teaching others. I’m sure it will be ok though.

I also have to get everything in order for my assistant. I interviewed four people last week and my supervisor will be interviewing two of them to help with the final decision. I think I already know who will get the offer but I wanted someone to make sure I was making the right decision even though I know I am. I have never been good at making decisions but maybe I just need to man up and make things happen.

I’ll spend these next few days getting things in order with my contract to pass on to my soon to be hired Training Assistant. I am really excited about this. I have a huge list of duties of things I would have really liked to do with the grant contract but haven’t had time to do that I can’t wait for them to get started on. I also just got the grant for next year’s grant, which actually overlaps this one and the Training Assistant will get to start that one going as well. It was actually a funny process.

My contact in Springfield sent me an email with the new reporting tool for the 07-08 grant. I was very confused because I didn’t know this grant was in existence I asked my boss who told me to ask the grant guy who told me to ask the executive director. No one knew what I was talking about. I finally asked my Springfield contact to fax me a copy of the grant. There it was 82,000 worth of work that needed to be attended to. It had the ED’s signature on it from May so he must have just forgotten about it. I’m not behind at all and the requirements are actually lower than the ones for the current grant period and I know it will be well taken care of. I just wish I had been able to be even more prepared. Oh well, so it goes.

Now, back to the random songs.

1. You’ve got style/ That’s what other girls say/ Satin sheets/ and luxuries so fine

2. The times we had/ Oh when wind would blow with rain and snow/ Were not all bad

3. I wanna bathe in milk/ Eat grapes/ Robert DiNero sit on my face

4. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know/ sometimes I feel like checking out/ I wanna get it wrong/ Can’t always be strong. Ultraviolet, U2. Identified by The Doc

5. She came she came to meet a man/ she found an angel/ Coocoo coocoo Barabajagal was his name no.

DINNER WITH GERMANS

On Friday night I went for Indian food with my new work friend, Franz the German exchange social worker, Bianca a German exchange worker in Franz’s program, Monica, and Tony. We had an awesome time. The food was delicious, Monica didn’t get an allergic reaction, and we had some excellent laughs.

During dinner Tony asked Franz and Bianca if the German exchange student he knew in High School was a typical guy. See Tony had these suspicions that this guy was a total nerd. He would say things like “I am a scooter boy and scooter boys are the coolest!” while dancing the “scooter dance” He also LOVED Boney M. As Tony had suspected, scooter boys are not cool at all, particularly if they are huge Boney M fans. They are kind of like a more pathetic version of emo kids. Tony felt much better because he was certain that this guy was a wiener but didn’t want to hold these suspicions if he truly was cool in Germany. Tony also had a great moment discussing scooters when he said, “you know, scooters, vroom vroom” and the Germans looked at him like, duh of course. Tony was confused because we were also talking about some German pop sensation named Scooter and he was just trying to be clear but, in actually, Tony was the only one who was confused.

After we left the restaurant we took a short walk down Devon Avenue because Franz wanted to see what was around. I explained that it would look something like this, sari store, restaurant, jewelry store, sari store, etc. I was actually wrong because the jewelry stores didn’t start for a few blocks and instead there were little convenience stores in their place. Regardless we got the picture and decided to wait for the bus.

I asked Monica if she had read the Hillbilly article I posted that day and we started laughing at how horrible it was. Franz asked, “What is a hillbilly?” so Monica, Tony, and I let the stereotypes fly. I have never claimed to be particularly politically correct. Sure racism makes me mad and I get a good laugh out of it but I’m not above the occasional stereotype. Hypocritical? Sure, but at least I’m honest. I will also admit that we were kind of explaining white trash or rednecks and not hillbillies but we did later correct ourselves while explaining that the terms were somewhat interchangeable but not entirely.

As Tony said, “it is always okay to make fun of white trash,” Monica and I agreed. It just is. You can argue but you will be wrong .We explained that you can spot one by their plaid shirts, mesh caps, wife-beaters (cause they like to beat their wives), cheap beer, (I also learned that beer is considered food in Germany) and eagerness to call you a faggot and kick your ass. I told Franz that this last thing would particularly apply to him being male and European. Monica added that they would also probably call him British because all Europeans are British to white trash. Tony told Bianca that, as a German woman, white trash would probably expect her to walk around carrying beer steins and wearing lederhosen at all times. People at the bus stop looked at us like we were insane and they had every right to do so. Franz saw a guy in a motorcycle and asked us what kind of person he was to which we replied, “he’s just a guy on a bike,” which he was. “VROOM VROOM” was all Franz had to say about that, which was incredibly hilarious. Monica made sure to let the Germans know that you can’t always tell white trash by looking at them but once they say “hey faggot I’m gonna kick you ass,” you would know. She is right.

When we got on the bus we had to be quiet in case there were any white trash types on the bus. It appeared to be safe so we kept talking. We learned that the German equivalent of white trash is loosely translated as “land egg” I would type the German word but I couldn’t even pronounce it and Franz is gone for the day. I like the term though, it makes sense.

Now I realize that we are probably horrible people for teaching the Germans this stuff. We felt kind of like the 8th graders telling the 2nd graders bad words but it was so incredibly funny that we couldn’t stop. ot that Franz and Bianca are like second graders but, you know what I mean. I’m sure that someone will call me a faggot and kick my ass any day now for payback. That will suck.

HILLBILLIES: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

When I got home from work yesterday Tony called me to the computer to view this fifty year old article from Time Magazine about hillbillies. He wasn’t sure if it was incredibly funny or utterly appalling. I came to the conclusion that it was both. It was funny in the same way as I find all racism funny; its utter disregard and lack of understanding for people and their situations. I thought the article served as a nice juxtaposition to my post from yesterday. I enjoy writing about all issues of inequality, even the old ones.

In 2007, you wouldn’t find an article such as this outside a publication geared towards bigots and hate-mongers. You certainly won’t find it in one of our most recognized magazines. This article let me look back to another time. While I knew that most migrant groups were reviled no matter who they were, to see this article really drove it home.

Some of my favorite parts of the article are as follows:

“Coming from states whose literacy rates are below the national average (exception: Missouri), the clannish, independent migrants show a deep-rooted aversion not only for the law, but also for sanitation, schooling, church, and most other alien urban institutions as well.”

“Reporter Browning set out to stalk and observe a species ‘whose customs and culture-patterns are as incomprehensible to us as dial telephones are to them’”

“They have the lowest moral code, if any, of any [group], the biggest capacity for liquor and the most savage and vicious tactics when drunk, which is most of the time.”

Fifty years ago wasn’t the distant past by any means. I wonder where those hillbillies, and their children, are today. Are the second generation hillbillies still afraid of immunizations? Where in the city do they live? How long did it take them to “assimilate” into everyday Chicago culture? Are they still bitter about the way that their families were treated? If they, as the group that was called the most alien migrants that ever came to Chicago can overcome such stereotypes, why has it been harder for other groups?

These questions are probably not all that hard to answer. You just have to do a little digging. The question I hear asked most often when talking about these issues is the last one and that is the easiest of them all to explain. The answer is that these people fundamentally look the same as the majority of the population. When they get rid of their sure hillbilly signs of “shoulder length bobs (slightly matted, heavily greased) and bubble gum,” they become barely distinguishable from a “native” city resident. In my opinion, the ability to look like the majority with little effort is essential to “fitting in”. I wish that were not true but I think that it is. Until we can get past visual labels we will be unable to truly unite as a country. I think we are working on it, but it is taking far too long. We’ll see where we stand in another fifty years.

RACISM CAN ALWAYS GET ME WRITING

In the midst of learning a new job and working my two current jobs I haven’t been able to do much in the way of posting. Despite the enormous amount of work I have been doing I have simply not had all that much to say. Thanks to the glory that is Bill O’Reilly I now have plenty of fodder.

I’m sure that by now most of you have heard about our dear friend Bill’s trip to Sylvia’s restaurant in Harlem. Back in ‘97 I went to Sylvia’s and enjoyed some delicious macaroni and cheese. I hear that the quality has changed somewhat since Sylvia has passed, but that is beyond the point. Bill also seemed to have a wonderful time at the restaurant as you can see from the comments he then made. According to him, the comments were an attempt to discuss the fact that America as a country needs to get away from race-based thinking because there aren’t all that many differences between the races. To prove his point he made some of the most wonderfully racist comments I have heard in ages.

“And I couldn't get over the fact that there was no difference between Sylvia's restaurant and any other restaurant in New York City. I mean, it was exactly the same, even though it's run by blacks, primarily black patronship. It was the same, and that's really what this society's all about now here in the U.S.A.”

That’s a great observation. This guy really gets it! If he were actually trying to show his fans the lack of difference between the races would he have begun the statement with something like “I couldn’t get over the fact,”? No I think not. He claims that his words have been taken totally out of context. Sorry, you can’t take that out of context. You can’t hide the genuine surprise that is inherent in that statement. Wow, black people owning and running things that aren’t fucked up, what a concept. At least he brought it back to a statement about equality…sort of. But that wasn’t the half of it. The crowning statement was to follow.

“There wasn't one person in Sylvia's who was screaming, "M-Fer, I want more iced tea."

He must have been there on a day when the patrons were truly on their best behavior. I know that when I go to a primarily Black restaurant I hear people cursing and yelling for iced tea all the time. In fact, when I don’t encounter such behavior I am almost as surprised as Bill O’Reilly. When I go to a restaurant and no one yells I just don’t even know what to do with myself. He went on to follow the priceless iced tea comment with this:

“You know, I mean, everybody was -- it was like going into an Italian restaurant in an all-white suburb in the sense of people were sitting there, and they were ordering and having fun. And there wasn't any kind of craziness at all.”

My question for him is this, how would he expect any business to run for decades if the kind of craziness that was lacking at Sylvia’s was the norm? Does he think that the Black patrons would put up with going to a restaurant where people are yelling across the room for M-Fing iced tea? I somehow doubt that they would. However, it seems to me that what he is trying to say is that much of white America sees Black America as rowdy, uncouth, and irresponsible to the point that a neighborhood, and even national, landmark would be ripe of that type of behavior. He certainly seems to feel that way. If he is right in his defense of his statements and they were honestly made to make a point about how there really isn’t much difference in the races he needs to re-examine his surprise. If that is truly how the majority of white America feels then our country is truly a sad place.

REUNITED ONCE AGAIN

As I was driving to my friend Jenny’s house I had a strange sense of calm. This part was going to be easy. All the people that would be there were certain to be happy to see me. The only twinge of nerves that I got was in trying to find a parking space. It wasn’t hard but I was determined not to have to parallel park and spaces I thought I could fit in were just a little too small. I planned on arriving fashionably late but was the first one to arrive. No worries, Jenny and I were friends and we would have plenty to talk about. It isn’t every day that you get to sit down with someone who is about to go help build governments in Liberia. Soon after they all trickled in; Emily, Sarma, Miako, Mara, and Jasmine I had seen most of them since High School but none in the last four years or so. It was like no time at all had passed. We caught up, looked at old pictures, and Emily pointed out that none of us had peaked in High School. Good to know. Then it was time to head down the street and over to the actual reunion.

As I walked in my stomach clenched. I was sure that by rolling seven deep all sense of nerves would easily disappear, I was wrong. I looked into the room and saw a sea of faces that I mostly remembered. Jasmine looked at me and let me know she just got nervous herself. I felt a little better. I saw my friend Evelyn who was on the badminton team with me and went to say hello. About twenty seconds into the conversation I realized I was not talking to Evelyn and had no idea who I was speaking to. I got out of there fast but no one seemed to notice. Why wasn’t she wearing a nametag and why did she look at me when I said Evelyn? Oh well, crisis easily avoided. We went to get a drink because you always look less out of place in a bar with a drink in your hand and then scanned the room for people I actually wanted to talk to.

Surprisingly, there were some people of interest. People I hadn’t thought about in ages but who I had shared some good times with. They were the ones who I was most interested in talking to. There were some that got a nice nod or a quick hello but others who I wanted to reminisces with, people who I was actually interested in. Granted they were few and far between but seeing them really meant something. I think I managed to put off only one person. The last think I said to this guy was, “I might never see you again and that is ok with me.” I didn’t mean any offense by the statement, it was simply true. He actually nodded. We talked briefly and he mentioned that he was engaged. I said, “good job,” and he looked a little offended. Emily told me I probably shouldn’t say things that sound like I am surprised anyone would want to marry someone, I guess she has a point. I got to tell a good friend’s wife about the day we ha in High School to “honor” him. See he used to wear his flannel shirts all the way unbuttoned and tucked in. He kept the shirt open about four inches, two on either side of his belt buckle. Emily and I came to school dressed that way one day. I mean how do you tuck in an unbuttoned shirt with precision and not expect people to pay homage? His wife thought it was the funniest thing ever and vowed to have a similar day of her own.

I have friends doing really interesting things; moving to Liberia to help get the government up and running, running a biology lab, working in non-profits, going back to school, finishing up residency, etc. They also seemed really interested in what I did, which was nice because I sometimes take the good I do for granted. My only complaint was that you don’t charge people $15 for a function and then only have an open bar for an hour. No that it mattered to me because I was driving, but still. All I can say is that I am very glad that I went and hope that some people will be true to their word and come visit me. The rest I’ll see in 2017.

WHY WERE THEY MAD AT ME?

Question 1: Do people who are obviously having a good time make you smile or frown?
Question 2: Does it depend on the type of thing they are doing to obviously have a good time?

These were the two questions that I believe were answered last week as Monica and I conducted a little experiment. Well, it didn’t start out as an experiment, it started out as Monica and I seeing which songs we liked on Of Montreal’s album Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer? as it turned out we liked most of the songs a lot. The exceptions were “The Past is a Grotesque Animal”, and “Bunny Ain’t No Kind of Rider”.

It was about 6pm. We parked ourselves at the northeast corner of Dearborn and Wacker (a fairly busy spot for the business types considering the time of day) and, harkening back to the days where we rode the blue line home together, each grabbed an iPod earbud and got to listening. As we listened we tapped our feet and bopped our heads to the beat. We smiled and softly sang along to some of the tunes (until it got dark, then we sang loudly). We were obviously happy. As we sat, we noticed people were responding to us in a wide variety of ways. Some tried desperately to ignore us because they didn’t want to stare. Some really wanted to stare but did not indicate if they were staring in pleasure, confusion, or anger they were just staring. Some simply didn’t care one way or the other. Some were pleased by our fun. Others were filled with disdain. We decided to up our efforts a little bit and see what happened.

Those filled with disdain, although in the minority, made an incredible impression. They seemed to truly hate us. We weren’t even that annoying because most of the disdainful folk came by before we started singing very loud. There was one very drunk woman who looked at us as if we were demon spawn. I don’t see what is so terrible about a couple of ladies boppin' to music that no one else can hear but she thought it was in very poor taste. There was an older man who just looked at us and shook his head disapprovingly. There was a woman in a striped sweater who made a “huff” type of noise and turned her nose up a bit. There was even a guy in a truck who stared at us as if we were setting the race back a few decades and rolled up his window. We weren’t asking for money or anything, just enjoying some music. Still, our ease and obvious merriment made them uncomfortable

Of the people who tried not to stare I didn’t think too much. They were just people who wanted to go about their business and I have certainly found myself trying not to look at people who I didn’t want to acknowledge me. Maybe they thought we were going to try and sing to them, or ask them for money, or speak. It doesn’t matter, I got them. The ones that blatantly stared without any reaction good or bad were another thing all together. The ones that really stuck with me were two women, about our age, who were in a taxi stopped in front of us at the light. They made me really sad. The look on their face as they were staring told me that, while they realized we were having an excellent time, they would not have been comfortable doing something so obviously “weird”. It simply would not have fit into their young professional lifestyle. They seemed to wonder why they were so much older than us. It was a little depressing. I also enjoyed the stares of the elderly, they just seemed miffed. There was also a taxi full of guys about our age who were just craning their necks to see what was going on, they obviously thought we were very interesting.

However, my favorite types by far were the people who seemed to share in our happiness. There were the guys who were taking a photo of a building by us and when Monica missed taking a picture of him taking a picture he gladly posed and she got an excellent shot. There were children in the car with their father who looked at us and smiled and told their daddy. He smiled and waved out of the window of his car. There was the guy on the motorcycle who came up to the corner to smile and bop his head along with us. There were the older businessmen who appreciated our loud rendition of Fortunate Son. There was even the homeless guy who seemed intrigued by our singing and wanted a concert, much to our discomfort. Whoever these people were, we made them happy just by having fun and those are the types of people I would want to be friends with and I am glad we were able to make their day a little brighter. They made me smile a little bigger, dance a little more, and sing a little louder which, in turn, probably annoyed people I didn’t like more. Awesome.

1. In one hand dreams a plenty/ In her smile a secret spell/ In her blood disappointments/ These she knows oh too well.

2. I rap for listeners/ Bluntheads, fly ladies, and prisoners/ Hennessey holders and old school niggas then I’ll be dissin/ an unofficial that smoke woolie Thai/ I dropped out of Cooley High

3. It’s too good/ It’s too nice/ She makes me finish too quick/ Is it love/ No not love/ She turns my sexual tricks. Suffocated Love, Tricky. Identified by Ern and thanks for the lyric correction!

4. I miss you/ But I haven’t met you yet/ So special/ But it hasn’t happened yet. I Miss You, Bjork. Identified by Friend.

And a special song just for the birthday girl, FRIEND, Happy Birthday Friend! No one but Friend is allowed to name this song even if they know it and they really want to.

5. Now I’m just average common too/ I’m just like him the same as you/ I’m everybody’s brother and son/ I ain’t different than anyone/ Ain’t no use in talking to me/ Just the same as talking to you. I Shall Be Free #10, Bob Dylan. Identified by Friend, just like she was supposed to do.

FROM ABOVE YOU IT DEVOURS

This morning I hopped out of bed, donned a robe, and stepped into the hallway. I was immediately greeted with a horrific thought. Winter is almost here. I know, I know, it is technically quite a way off and there is an entire season called fall before winter truly arrives. Regardless, I felt the biting sting of cold on my face, fingers, and feet and all I wanted to do was to crawl back into bed and cry.

It has been a really nice summer. I have enjoyed wonderful weather, most of it not annoyingly hot. I have had nice vacations and plenty of in the city fun. It has very likely been one of the better summers I have had in some time. Maybe that is the reason that I am so reluctant for it to end. It has simply been too nice. Maybe I have an even nicer fall and a stupendous winter ahead of me. I just don’t know. All I know was that it was cold. Like up at the cabin without proper clothing cold. Boo.

According to the seven-day forecast, there isn’t a single day about 70 in sight. I know it is September and I know I live in Chicago but it still doesn’t seem right. Why is it that 60 degree weather as we ease into fall feels so incredibly warm but as we leave summer it is so gosh darned cold.

On a happier note, I have decided to go to my High School reunion on the 22th. I am still a little mad at them that it is on Yom Kippur but oh well. I told the planning people very early on that I thought that was very rude being the highest of the High Holy days and all. They didn’t seem to care although someone did mention that they would bring it up to the planning committee. Such a thing would never happen in New York. Unfortunately, Tony won’t be coming with me. I would have liked to see him by my side but it just isn’t practical financially and it is a lot of family time all at once. Tony loves my family very much but they aren’t his family and three visits in a month is a lot for him. He also could care less about meeting people I went to high school with. I guess it is just that insecure teenage girl in me that wants to have a boyfriend. What a lame I am. I’ll be meeting up with some good friends beforehand for dinner and in all honesty hearing they were going to be getting together and them saying how great it would be if I came was my main motivation. We’ll see how it goes.

1. In one hand dreams a plenty/ In her smile a secret spell. In her blood disappointments/ These she knows oh too well.

2. I rap for listeners/ Bluntheads, fly ladies, and prisoners/ Hennessey holders and old school niggas then I’ll be dissin/ an unofficial that smoke woolie Thai/ I dropped out of Cooley High

3. It’s too good/ It’s too nice/ She makes me fingers too quick/ Is it love/ No not love/ She turns my sexual tricks

4. I miss you/ But I haven’t met you yet/ So special/ But it hasn’t happened yet

And a special song just for the birthday girl, FRIEND, Happy Birthday Friend! No one but Friend is allowed to name this song even if they know it and they really want to.

5. Now I’m just average common too/ I’m just like him the same as you/ I’m everybody’s brother and son/ I ain’t different than anyone/ Ain’t no use in talking to me/ Just the same as talking to you

WHAT'S TO BECOME OF ME

Something rather tragic has happened. I don’t know what to watch. If you have been reading this blog for any amount of time you know that I LOVE TV. It makes me so happy that I even rent TV. In fact, for the last two years, Tony and I have been renting Angel and Buffy from Netflix. We finished Angel about a year or so ago and have been watching Buffy ever since. Now, before you write me off, please understand that I too was skeptical of these shows. I thought they were crap for ubernerds to watch because they can’t make friends. I was wrong. They are shows for ubernerds to watch when they don’t feel like seeing their friends or would rather enjoy a nice day on the couch. What I am trying to say is that I really underestimated these shows. I am so glad Tony made me watch them. They are good, like Flight of the Conchords good or even Arrested Development good. Granted, they may not appeal to the same audiences and many people will argue with me but the self-aware ridiculousness of them compiled with strong female role-models and a sci-fi twist really makes for quality television.

Anyway, over the weekend we watched Buffy season 7 disc 6, the final disc in our two series 12 season extravaganza. It was quite a wonderful ending I went through every possible emotion which is the mark of a great series finale. It felt finished unlike Angel, which felt finished but rushed. It was though because they received word mid-season that it would be their last. They had to wrap things up pretty quick. Damn those evil network executives who didn’t know that Angel was easily one of the best shows ever it was easily better than Buffy (although some may disagree) but got two less seasons. Crap.

I digress, what I am trying to say is that I no longer know what TV to rent from Netflix. We rented Undeclared since Tony hadn’t seen it and we like that Apatow but, although a fine program that was cancelled before its time, it isn’t as quality as the shows we just finished watching. Someone suggested that we watch Charmed since we like Angel and Buffy so much but, from what I have seen of that show, it isn’t as smart or as funny or as well done and that would just be a huge letdown. We were pushed toward Firefly since we obviously like Joss Whedon but it is just a little too hardcore Sci-fi for us to get into. Whatever should be done? We need help. I fear nothing will ever come close to satisfying my TV renting again.

Don’t tell me to go out and explore the world. I explore when I feel like it and winter just around the corner. Don’t tell me to watch Desperate Housewives or Grey’s Anatomy, I’ve seen little bits of those shows and am simply not impressed. I need humor, witticism, creativity, and the unexpected. I need to never have watched these glorious series so that I can experience them all over again for the first time. I need a show that I have low expectations for to come in and hook me hard, I need a revelation. What, oh what, should I do? I know, reveal the unguessed songs from last week.

1. I went all the way to Paris/ To forget your face/ Captured in stained glass/ Young lives long since past/ Statues of lovers everyplace. History of Us, Indigo Girls

2. Baby your magic is working/ I lose control of myself/ Whenever you are near me/ I feel myself changing/ From a guy thought too cynical for love into a hopeless romantic. Your Magic is Working, Of Montreal

5. I like a girl with caked up make-up/ in the sunshine smoking cigarettes to pass the time/ Who wakes up to a bottle of wine. So Rich, So Pretty, Mickey Avalon

WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE FOR A NORMAL DAY

The saga at work continues. I felt significantly better this morning and headed off to work with a spring in my step. You know that feeling when you thought you were going to die and then all of a sudden life is shiny and new, yeah, it was that kind of morning. Then I got to the office. Upon walking in the building I immediately stuffed up again thus realizing the probably cause of my curious and sudden ailment. Working in a building with half-finished ceilings and constant construction=throat infection. I wonder why I didn’t figure that out before. After that initial disappointment, I walked into the large room where my desk resides and noticed that my desk was out of place and empty except for the broken remnants of the wonderful wax ant that Tony made me. I looked in horror and wonder at what was going on. At least Tony’s birthday present was sitting on a desk in the corner, it being his birthday and all I would have been sad had it not arrived.

Apparently, people were bringing the fire door that will close the reception area off from the elevator bank though my window. I turned around and hit the down button on the elevator. I went downstairs, dropped my Netflix in the mail and headed to Dunkin’ Donuts for a bagel. I brought the bagel upstairs and went directly to the lunchroom, not even stopping to see what was going on in my work area. I sat there with the paper and leisurely ate. I tried not to think of the students I had to call for my class on Monday or the Volunteers I had to call to tell them the workshop they signed up to volunteer for was cancelled. I would get to them when I could. It was beyond my control.

As I sat there doing the crossword, I was informed that not only LaVerne (who has the desk opposite mine) and myself were kicked out of the work area but both of our entire departments had to evacuate for safety reasons. I chuckled and tried to think of a five letter acronym for plans not working out as they were drawn up. Oh, FUBAR, of course (that wasn’t actually in the crossword but wouldn’t it have been funny if it was). I was told the Executive Director was taking our departments out for breakfast but since I had just eaten a bagel and wasn’t exactly a happy camper, I opted out. So did LaVerne. Instead we sat and griped and I found the number for the Volunteer who was scheduled for Monday in the Volunteer Director’s office where I put all the stuff I no longer wanted to deal with.

At about noon my work station was essentially up and running. I couldn’t set up my desk properly though because an electrician has to come over the weekend and fix some things. I was only allowed the bare bones, a computer and a phone. It would serve my needs. I also spent some time in my new classroom watching people hang up white boards. That was fun. It is now 3:11. I have done all the work I can do at my limited workstation and I haven’t taken a lunch. I wonder if that means I can leave an hour early. I doubt it. Have a good weekend all.

1. I went all the way to Paris/ To forget your face/ Captured in stained glass/ Young lives long since past/ Statues of lovers everyplace

2. Baby your magic is working/ I lose control of myself/ Whenever you are near me/ I feel myself changing/ From a guy thought too cynical for love into a hopeless romantic

3. Somebody took the papers/ And somebody’s got the key/ And somebody’s nailed the door shut that says hey what you think that you see. Cool It Down, Velvet Underground. Identified by Monica

4. Hey little sister what have you done/ Hey little sister whose the only one/ Hey little sister whose your superman/ Hey little sister whose the one you want. White Wedding, Billy Idol. Identified by Mom.

5. I like a girl with caked up make-up/ in the sunshine smoking cigarettes to pass the time/ Who wakes up to a bottle of wine

WHY CAN'T YOU BE THE SICKEST AT THE DR?

Last night before I went to sleep I thought to myself that today would be the first day since Aug 15th that I would go to work two days in a row. When I woke up at 4:45am with huge sneezes and a throat that just didn’t want to swallow and a temp of 99.8 (very high for someone who is normally in the low 98s) I realized that today would, in fact, not be a day for going to work. I called the office and let them know that I would instead be hitting the Dr’s office and I would keep them posted.

I got up at eight so I could make an appointment and then got back in bed for a few hours. I headed to the Dr at 11. I checked my temp before leaving the house and it was at 99.3, still very high for me. The train was so unbearably slow that I somehow managed to end up being fifteen minutes late to the Drs office. It didn’t help that they had also switched floors in the building but that only added another minute onto my commute time. I sat around the office for a little while reading the cursed Red Eye. That paper is like crack, I know it is bad for me but I just can’t stop. Not that I ever have done crack but I have heard stories and I have an active imagination.

The nurse took my temp in the office, it was an incredibly normal 98.6. That is still a little high for me but not at all impressive. I was somewhat disappointed. My throat didn’t hurt as much as it had, my neck didn’t feel like it was in the early stages of Meningitis, and I could kind of speak without sounding like some kind of non-human creature. Why is it that whenever I make it to the Dr I am never as sick as when I decided to go? I don’t think I am the only one who has this problem. I think it is universally experienced. It just isn’t right.

I waited for the Dr and read InStyle. The magazine had a perfume sample in it somewhere and I hoped the nauseating smell would be enough to make me seem sicker when my Dr came in. I don’t think I needed it. She looked in my throat and felt my glands and promptly concluded that I had a throat infection but luckily came in early enough that it hadn’t gotten incredibly horribly bad. Not that my throat wasn’t red and gross, it just could have been worse. She wrote me a prescription and sent me on my way. I shouldn’t be contagious by tomorrow morning so back to work I go. However, Mom thinks that the half constructed office may be the cause of my illness and she may be right. If that building makes me feel worse I am taking home a few sheets of paper and making some calls and that will be that.

1. I went all the way to Paris/ To forget your face/ Captured in stained glass/ Young lives long since past/ Statues of lovers everyplace

2. Baby your magic is working/ I lose control of myself/ Whenever you are near me/ I feel myself changing/ From a guy thought too cynical for love into a hopeless romantic

3. Rush hour/ And the day is dawning/ And the rain came/ And pushed me under the awning. Ani DiFranco, Rush Hour. Identified by Brooke.

4. Let me tell you how it will be/ There’s one for you nineteen for me. Taxman, The Beatles. Identified by Brooke.

5. It was the third of September/ The day I’ll always remember/ Yes I will/ Cause that was the day that my Daddy died. Papa Was A Rolling Stone, The Temptations. Identified by Mom.

BACK TO IT

Things seem to finally be getting back to normal. After my planned vacation I returned to work to hear that I was getting an unplanned vacation because the new office building we were moving into wasn’t ready. We were given three days off and asked to report in Friday the 31st at the new location. On Friday we worked for about half the day because things still weren’t really ready to go. When I came back to the office today I still had no power and no phone at my workstation.

Notice how I said workstation and not office? That is because I no longer have an office. Despite constant reassurances and the fact that my office was on the floor plan it no longer exists because there wasn’t room for it. There are, however, about 8 storage rooms and one empty office. The empty office is, I believe, an overflow area for the executive team to work in when their offices, the board room, and the executive work area just aren’t doing it. When I complained about this in an angry email I got called into the Deputy Director’s office and was told I was unprofessional. Huh. I would have thought it was unprofessional to neglect to tell an employee that they no longer have an office and let them find out when they go to tour the new facility, but maybe I am wrong.

When I came in this morning there was still no power and no phone. I helped unpack some other rooms and sat around until about 12:30 when I left with a co-worker for a nice long lunch. When I got back both the phone and the computer were on. Hooray. That means I can get back to the important things like my job and my blog. I start teaching my Customer Service class again next week. That should be awesome.

Over the holiday weekend my parents were in town for the Chicago Jazz fest. It was a great time. While they were here we listened to good music and ate good food. In fact, we even hit up The Gage where Johnny Yen works but I didn’t see anyone there that looked like him. The food was just as awesome as he says it is on his blog. YUM. It was so great to have them here, even though I just saw them the other week in Minneapolis. I love those guys.

At Jazz fest there were a couple of jerks and I love to talk about jerks on my blog. Jerk #1 was the no smoking lady. While I am a huge supporter of no smoking in areas where there are no smoking signs or where it is socially expected that no one light up, I am not a huge supporter of asking people not to smoke when there are none of those things going on; like at a free outdoor concert in the park. She first turned to some young folk and held up a fake cigarette to her lips while giving them a disapproving wag of the finger. It wasn’t just what she was doing but the way in which she was doing it that made me want to die. After they put their cigarettes out (nice kids because if it was certain folk I know they would have blown smoke in her face or used her head for an ashtray) she turned to a grown man a row in front of her. He looked at her like she had lost her mind so she went to security. The guard she approached was smoking, which was pretty funny. Although I couldn’t hear their conversation the security guard did a lot of shrugging and shaking her head while the lady waved her hands about and looked upset. On her way back the lady spoke to the smoking man again and he got up and left the seating area to finish his cigarette. This leaves me with a question, did she lie to the man or was he just fed up with her?

Then there was the self-important jerk sitting all alone in the row in front of my parents and I. This guy turned to some young people who appeared to be tourists from Japan who were sitting next to us and did the talking motion with his hands at them. They weren’t talking very loud because I couldn’t hear them and I was right there. In fact, my Mom and I had to be talking just as loud. He didn’t say anything to us though. Again, it is a free outdoor concert, get a life guy. Then some kids came and sat in the row in front of him despite the fact that he had five empty seats on one side of him and about seven on the other, he tapped one of the kids on the shoulder and asked if he would trade seats with his shorter friend so that this guy could see. The kicker is that they moved. Maybe I am an ass but I would have looked at him and said, “Why don’t you see if your view improves in one of the twelve empty seats surrounding you?” How rude.

To continue with things getting back to normal, here are some songs to guess.

1. I went all the way to Paris/ To forget your face/ Captured in stained glass/ Young lives long since past/ Statues of lovers everyplace

2. Tie yourself to me/ No one else knows/ You’re not rid of me/ No you’re not rid of me. Rid Of Me, PJ Harvey. Identified by Eve.

3. No you didn’t just leave/ I actually kicked you out/ I couldn’t hardly believe that the words came out my mouth. In The Way, Ani DiFranco. Identified by Brooke.

4. I don’t want to wait in vain for your love/ From the very first time I set my eyes on you girl/ My heart says follow through. Waiting in Vain, Bob Marley. Identified by Phil

5. Baby your magic is working/ I lose control of myself/ Whenever you are near me/ I feel myself changing/ From a guy thought too cynical for love into a hopeless romantic