MA'AM NO MORE

When I was 22 I started working in downtown Chicago. I was your typical commuter putting on my business type clothes, getting on the train, and walking to one of the many tall buildings that populate the area. I would generally go to lunch sometime between noon and one with all the other downtown working types. Sometimes, after work, I would do a little shopping and was often accompanied by other after work shoppers. It was during this time I began to be referred to as Ma’am.

It made sense, I was obviously a grown-up. I worked in a grownup area, wore grownup clothes, and traveled during peak grown-up hours. Even as I got more comfortable at work and the grownupness of my clothes may have become a little more casual I was still a member of the grownup team.

I hate being called Ma’am. Granted, at this point I am pushing 30 and maybe the term applies. Even if it does apply I still think it is gross. However, at 22 I don’t think the term ever applies. The thing is I have never looked particularly old. I think I look my age. Some people tell me that I look younger but I think they are either just people who look older than they are or people that think we are still in the times of Love Connection when 21 was the new 40.

Now that I work primarily on a college campus filled with undergrads the terminology has changed. I have become Miss again. It is entirely awesome. Yesterday I went to pick up a prescription and handed the pharmacist my new insurance information. “Is this in your name or your parent’s,” he asked me. I almost fainted. I haven’t been eligible for my parents insurance in almost seven years. It felt wonderful. I walk down the street or stop into a shop and it is Miss this and Miss that and I don’t feel like an old lady anymore.

The perks of this job just keep on coming.

As Monica guessed almost everything on the shuffle yesterday here are a bunch of new songs.

1. We are two mariners/ Our ships sole survivors/ In this belly of a whale. _________, The Decemberists. Partially identified by Identified by Monica

2. To me/ Coming from you/ Friend is a four letter word/ End is the only part of the word/ That I heard

3. I let the beast in too soon/I don't know how to live/ Without my hand on his throat/ I fight him always and still

4. Have mercy on me sir/ allow me to impose on you/ I have no place to stay/ And my bones are cold right through

5. I’ve never known a girl like you before/ Just like in a song from days of yore/ here you come a knocking knocking on my door. A Girl Like You. Edwin Collins. Identified by The Doc

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I COULDN'T BE NERDIER

After I got home on Friday, Tony and I decided to have a little mini celebration in regard to my new job. We had been holding off until the magic day of three checks; last check from old job, vacation paycheck, and new paycheck. It was a nice day. We decided to go get the new Ratchet and Clank for PS3. We have been waiting for this game since before we got the system and were super excited to start playing. We bundled up and headed to Game Crazy.

Unfortunately, they had none. While we could have got on a bus and went to another game store that really wasn’t something we were planning to do. The five block journey had been all we were planning for. The game guys were quite apologetic and they started making suggestions. Tony had been eying Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune since he played the demo a few weeks ago. I wasn’t as excited about it because I had only played the demo once and was pretty bad at it. Tony played it about eight times and was pretty ok. I had been yearning for Assassin’s Creed since months before we got the system even though the game wasn’t coming out for a month after we got it.

They had a Limited Edition copy of Assassin’s Creed that came with an action figure, penny arcade comic, mini strategy guide, a bonus stuff CD, and an awesome tin case for only $10 more than the regular game. They also had a used copy of Drake’s Fortune which was about $10 less than the regular game. What were a girl and a guy to do? They were to buy both games, obviously. We then took our games, went out for Thai food (where Tony pointed out that I had said "Awesome" about eight times in one hour), picked up some breakfast for the next day, got home around 9:30, and settled in for some hardcore gaming.

As issue we sometimes have is getting too many games at once. We are the types that really need to only have one game to play because if we have more than one a favorite will invariable arise to the top and the others won’t get touched for months. We decided to try Drake’s Fortune first and I am so glad that we did. After we played a few levels (and I got better at shooting) Tony asked if we should pop Assassin’s Creed in. I decided against it because we were having a blast. At around 5:30am we were on level 12 or so and had a feeling we were close to halfway done with the game. We figured at that point we would just beat it before starting Assassin’s Creed thus eliminating any competition between games.

We got up relatively late on Saturday but considering what time we went to bed it made sense. We had our breakfast, hung around for a little while and started back on the game around 4pm. After taking a break for dinner we wrapped it up around 2 or so. We had never before finished a game in such a short amount of time. It wasn’t that the game sucked, it was quite awesome, just relatively short. However, if it had been much longer I don’t know if I would have enjoyed it as much. The length made sure that nothing got too repetitive (because there isn’t much more to the game than hiding behind things and shooting bad guys with a little jumping over chasms thrown in) and the story was excellent but could have become really drawn out. It was time for Assassin’s Creed.

I was almost jumping out of my skin with excitement as we put the disc in the system. The game promised to have everything I love; graphics, story, blood, strategy, and general awesomeness. The system told us an upgrade was needed before we could play. We clicked ok. The system began to upgrade, and froze. We tried again, it froze. I was about to throw something against the wall. Finally after about the 8th try it upgraded fully and the game loaded. We began to play.

If you have been watching TV at all in the last month you have an idea of what this game looks like. It’s the one with the crusades looking guy running over rooftops and killing people in most excellent ways. The game itself looks just as good as the commercials. The story had elements I was completely unaware of that were incredibly unique. Even though it is primarily set at the time of the crusades there are some very futuristic elements that are just great. We finished about 90% of the first level and decided to head to bed around 5.

Sunday was a calmer day. Dave came over in the late afternoon; we showed him Assassin’s Creed and played around a little bit. Then he and I went to meet Jamie (but not Monica because she is a lame) to watch The Darjeeling Limited, which was quite enjoyable despite how much I want to slap Jason Schwartzman. I tend to like his work but having seen him in many interviews I wish I didn’t. What a pompous ass. We got a large popcorn and found out there were free refills. Who needs refills on popcorn though? Apparently it was us. We essentially killed two of those things. It was disgusting but oh so yummy.

I have an iPod again so let’s name that song.

1. On candy striped legs/ The Spiderman comes/ Softly through the shadow of the evening sun. Lullaby, The Cure. Identified by Monica

2. I'll start this off without any words/ I got so high I scratched 'till I bled/ I love myself better than you / I know it's wrong so what should I do? On a Plain, Nirvana. Identified by Identified by Monica

3. We are two mariners/ Our ships sole survivors/ In this belly of a whale. _________, The Decemberists. Partially identified by Identified by Monica

4. To me/ Coming from you/ Friend is a four letter word/ End is the only part of the word/ That I heard

5. All My Friends know the low rider/ The low rider is a little higher. Low Rider, War. Identified by Identified by Monica

BYE BYE BOOKS

I have got to weight in on this thing that is Kindle. As a book and gadget lover, I am both excited and horrified by this product. In case you didn’t know, Kindle is a wireless device developed y Amazon.com that can download and store up to 200 books from a database of 90,000. It can also receive magazine and newspaper subscriptions. Kindle is about the size of a standard paperback and has a very high resolution and quite readable screen. Downloads take about one minute. I hear that the color resolution isn’t the best but unless you are reading science or children’s books that probably won’t be much of an issue. You can download first chapters of books for free and the most expensive titles are $9.99.

As a gadget this thing is pretty awesome. Sure the price tag is a little high ($399) but, like most gadgets that will very likely lower in the next few years. Kindle has a reported battery life of about 6 hours and that is extended if you turn the wireless features off. It fully recharges in two hours, which is a little long but could be much worse. It is light and thin and uses cell phone networks so you don’t’ have to be in a wi-fi hotspot to download your materials and it doesn’t have any wireless charges. You can even email yourself files for reading anything you wrote or some business type stuffs on the go. Everything you purchased is stored online so if you needed to clear space for a particular book you won’t be deleting something forever. You can click on a word you don’t know and look it up instantly. You’ll never need to bookmark a page, Kindle remembers

So why does it scare me? The answer is simple. I think we may be witnessing the downfall of the printed page. Any avid reader knows there is something about holding a book in your hand. You turn the pages and new stories unfold. As you read you can measure your progression by how many pages have moved from one side of the book to the other. You can tell how loved a book is by the creases in its binding and the notes scribbled in the margins (if you write in your books like I do). All of this is impossible with a machine. Well all except the notes, you can make annotations with this thing too.

Remember the smell of old books? Cherish it. In two generations it may be gone. I will always remember the smell of Happiness is a Warm Puppy. I don’t know if they used some kind of special paper or what but no other book I have ever read has smelled that way. Think of the way libraries look, both at home and in the public. The bookshelf could become an obsolete piece of furniture. There is a lot at stake here. Sure we love our books now but what about the kids who grow up with these things. How much cheaper would getting your books for college be with one? In 20 years how hard will it be to buy a real book?

I can’t promise I will never go digital. This product looks pretty amazing. I didn’t understand how awesome mp3 players were for years but my iPod has changed my life. Kindle could do the same thing for books that mp3 players have done for CDs. Who am I to say this is a bad thing? I can’t go into the bookstore and buy a brand new book for $9.99. I am safe for now because not only are they expensive but they are sold out on Amazon. Not to mention that the thought of having one kind of makes me want to vomit. The revolution is now.

I LOVE HEROES

It’s time to talk Heroes. If you are someone who watches the show and has not yet seen the Chapter 2 finale you should stop reading. If you are not someone who watches the show…what is wrong with you?

I have spoken to many people who had a lot of complaints about this season, mainly that Hiro was in 17th century Japan for a large part of it. Maybe it’s because I am a sappy romantic type girl or maybe Hiro can simply do no wrong in my opinion but I thought that particular storyline was one of the best of the season. There was romance, fighting under ridiculous odds, issues of conscience, communication with an alternate timeline, and the introduction of a villain. What more do you want from a superhero story? Plus, Kensei/Adam is an incredibly well developed awesome character and I am so glad he was brought to the show.

If people were going to complain about something why not talk about Syler, Maya and Alejandro? I have never in my life been less invested in a character than I was in those two. Maya’s power is only remotely cool. If she can master it more and target specific people rather than an entire room we may have something. Alejandro couldn’t do anything except help her control her power and the two of them took up far too much air time. Really they were only there to give Syler someone to talk to. Now Syler is a great character what with his eating brains and all but Syler without powers is almost as bring as those stupid twins. If you ask me that arc could have taken all of half an episode.

I spent the last week wondering who the two heroes to die would be. I had my fingers crossed for Maya and Nikki. Unfortunately, Maya will live on. Thankfully, Nikki went up in a huge explosion. Sadly, Micah is now without any parents but he has his awesome cousin Monica and Grandma Uhura to take care of him so it will be just fine. Nathan Petrelli was another story though. I almost cried. Nathan has never been the wonder that is his brother Peter but he is no slouch and to never see Hiro shout, “Flying Man,” again will be a sad thing.

The battle between Peter and everyone else could have been way cooler. I wanted to see some hero fireworks. The last few episodes of the first season really delivered with some good battles. This one only teetered on the edge of awesome superhuman conflict. It worked within the story but left the 12yr old boy in me wanting more. Hiro burying Kensei and leaving him there to suffer was simply priceless but if Angel could get out of a coffin at the bottom of the ocean Kensei can get out of one six feet down. If he and Syler unite they will certainly be a force to reckon with.

All in all I was pleased with the season and am eagerly awaiting the next Chapter. I am on the fence if the writers strike hurt this season or not. Yesterday James Kyson Lee (Ando) was co hosting Attack of the Show on G4 and he claimed that this chapter was only supposed to be 12 episodes in the first place (it ended with episode 11) so not much was done to shorten it because of the writers strike but that this would wrap up the second chapter. I am wondering if that is true or if they just ended up splitting Chapter 2 into two parts and this episode was supposed to be the mid-season climax vs. a season finale? Then again it doesn’t really matter. I simply love the show.

No random songs for a while. My iPod is stuck on My Bloody Valentine. Typically I would plug it into my computer and it would unstick itself but as my computer is down no luck. I’m going to have to go over to Dave’s.

SO FUN I DIDN'T MIND THE WEATHER

This weekend was Monica’s birthday celebration. I had been looking forward to it because I haven’t been to a proper karaoke spot for ages and Monica is always fun to hang out with. However, when I woke up and looked at the weather report I was somewhat dismayed. There was a winter weather advisory, it was snowing, and it promised to rain later. Dave opted out of the festivities pretty early in the day. Tony and I sat there and hoped that the weather would get better but it didn’t look good. I called Monica to make sure that things were still on because if I was going to go out into the nasty that is a wintry mix there better be something good at the end of the tunnel. Monica let me know things were still on and was happy to know that I was still planning to come. We were going and that was all there was to it. Tony mentioned that it was strange how we stay home every night of the year and decide to leave on the worse one. I guess tht is just how it goes.

Jamie opted in so we planned to meet up with her halfway through the bus route. I had checked online to see when the bus was coming and had everything mapped out but Tony wasn’t quite ready to go when I had planned to leave so things got pushed back a little. We left the house at 9:30 with rain above and ice below. The bus didn’t’ show up until 9:59. Once we were on it was ok. We got off and met Jamie on the corner, the second bus came relatively quickly. All was going well until the bus driver stopped and told us she went no further. Had we left earlier the bus would have gone all the way to our destination, but we didn’t and we had to walk.

The driver told us it was about three blocks. It was more like seven. As we walked I told a tale of three weary travelers trudging through the ice and snow. The neighborhood was empty, not a place that young childless types would oft frequent. We came upon a mouse who was quite cute. Jamie chanted a constant, “crunch, crunch, crunch,” throughout our tale to further set the mood. Eventually I saw some shiny lights in the distance that had to be out destination. It was. We vowed to kick Monica in the ass once we arrived but we didn’t.

It took quite a while for our names to get called to sing but once they did we were up there time and time again. Monica started things off with a nice rendition of Long Train Running (Doobie Brothers), I followed with my staple The Humpty Dance (Digital Underground) which was immediately followed by Jamie, Monica, and I doing Dancin’ with Myself (Billy Idol). Throughout the night various permutations of the group did, Weak (SWV), Gin and Juice (Snoop), Truckin (The Grateful Dead), What a Man (Salt n’ Peppa), Livin on a Prayer (Bon Jovi), and What’s Up (4 Non Blondes). Essentially we sang a whole mess of songs. I don’t mean to brag but our group was way more awesome than the other people singing. Not that we didn’t have our points of struggle, cause we did but we were still pretty good and also better looking than most other people there. Man I am a jerk.

Tony and Pete, a co-worker of Monica, left the singing to play darts and were eventually joined by the rest of us. At around 3am Tony and I decided to get a cab and head home. We picked up some Mexican food from the delicious hole in the wall on the corner and watched some TV. It was a good night. By the time we got home we admitted the night was a great success and were glad we didn't stay in bed because of the weather.

1. Make a list little Lars never seen a star/ Put his fans behind bars/ Can’t you see mp3 means you’re stealing from me/ you should have bought a Cd. Internet Sandman, Weird Al

2. Daddy’s ghost behind you/ sleeping dog beside you/ You’re a point of mystery/ You’re the prayer inside me. Faded From the Winter, Iron & Wine

3. Does it make you happy to ignore me on streets/ I guess by now you think I’m weak/ I wish you could have said something before now. Keep it Clean, Camera Obscura

4. So I go/ Though it hurts me so/ I'm crying/ For your love. One Summer Dream, ELO

WEEK ONE DOWN

Here I am, halfway through my first week on the new job. I have my desk accessories, and I must say they look quite nice, and I am starting to get the lay of the land. I went to an interdepartmental meeting yesterday and actually understood about 70% of what was going on. I thought that was pretty good.

Today someone came by to take my picture for the new employee section of the departmental newsletter. He worked in the downtown office and I had offered to go to him for the picture. He said eh would come to me. I then told him that I was in Lincoln Park and asked it that would be ok. He said sure. Today he told me that no one has ever offered to go to his office before. I wonder why?

So far the hardest thing has been getting my commute right. My main office is five stops closer on the train than my old office and I thought I would save about 15-20 min on the commute. I was right the first day, left 18min later and got to work at about 8:55. Then I did the same thing on the second day and got to work at about 9:05??? Today I left 10min later and got here at 8:45. It makes absolutely no sense. Not to mention the day that I came in to my office and then headed to the downtown office to meet my supervisor and was late. I gave myself 30min to go 7 stops, and was 10min late. It made no sense whatsoever. Oh well, I suppose if that is the least of my worries (well that and mastering the material I have to start teaching in Jan) I’m doing fine.

My computer at home is still broken but it seems to be less broken than before. About a month ago we went to turn it on and the buttons didn’t work. I took it apart and jiggled things but nothing changed. The other day we went out into the living room and the thing was on although the front buttons still don’t seem to do anything. We had been completely unable to get it on before. However, now the monitor won’t go off sleep mode so we can’t tell if it is on and working or just on and doing nothing. It is all baffling. Tony’s friend Ryan is going to send us a laptop so we’ll be able to have a computer while I send it off to my Dad.

1. Make a list little Lars never seen a star/ Put his fans behind bars/ Can’t you see mp3 means you’re stealing from me/ you should have bought a Cd

2. Daddy’s ghost behind you/ sleeping dog beside you/ You’re a point of mystery/ You’re the prayer inside me

3. Does it make you happy to ignore me on streets/ I guess by now you think I’m weak/ I wish you could have said something before now

4. So I go/ Though it hurts me so/ I'm crying/ For your love

5. Looking back on when I/ Was a little nappy-headed boy/ Then my only worry/ Was for Christmas what would be my toy. I Wish, Stevie Wonder. Identified by Mom.

SINCE THE FEAST

I learned a few things during this year’s Thanksgiving.

1. Don’t make a dish you haven’t prepared before but you saw done on the Food Network with much larger vegetables than the ones you could find. It just won’t work out quite right. My artichokes were not served although I did take them home and manage to make a few incredibly tasty bites.

2. If you want Tony to do karaoke you have to pick a Beastie Boys song.

3. Even when you think there is plenty of food, plenty of drunken people will eat things you had planned to eat for leftovers

4. Good food and good fun will make fast friends

5. Sometimes to have proper leftover plates the next day you need to go back to the store and get some more potatoes.

I started my new job at DePaul University on Monday. The first day was a general new employee orientation where people from all departments came and talked to us about new hire things. It was a day with a lot of paper. Tuesday we did our Electronic stuffs orientation which didn’t take too long at all and then were to report to our respective departments. I wasn’t scheduled to be in my department until noon due to my supervisor having a meeting and we got out at 10:30. I took a seat in Starbucks, had a chai, did the crossword puzzle and read Prometheus Bound. I then met my manger, went to lunch, got introduced around the loop office and then was shown to my office at the Lincoln Park campus. There were more introductions and I was given the Staples catalogue to order things for my desk. I spent a long time deciding if I want black mesh desk accessories or black solid ones with rounded corners. I am going with the mesh because it fits my futuristic office furniture a little better.

Today I went in to my office and read over things for about an hour. I left at 10am to get to the Loop campus and meet my supervisor at 10:30. I was late. I have no idea how that happened but she told me that sometimes it can take up to 45min. Granted, I was only five min late but it didn’t make me feel too spiffy. We spent the morning going over departmental structure, my goals until June ’08 and the things our program is measured by. Then we started in on the Financial Literacy workshops that I will be teaching. We got through one before lunch. It is like the financial stuff I was teaching before but much more in-depth. After lunch we’ll go into the three others.

Things are looking pretty good. Everyone here is incredibly nice and welcoming. One of the guys the Lincoln Park office has a banjo. Monica would totally want to hang out with this guy. Although there is a ton to learn and not all that much time to learn it before I have to get out there and teach/supervise/create I think that I’m really going to enjoy it and that is a great feeling.

1. Make a list little Lars never seen a star/ Put his fans behind bars/ Can’t you see mp3 means you’re stealing from me/ you should have bought a Cd

2. Daddy’s ghost behind you/ sleeping dog beside you/ You’re a point of mystery/ You’re the prayer inside me

3. Does it make you happy to ignore me on streets/ I guess by now you think I’m weak/ I wish you could have said something before now

4. So I go/ Though it hurts me so/ I'm crying/ For your love

5. Girl I must warn you/ I sense something strange in my mind/ Situation is serious/ Let's do it cause we're running out of time. Poison, BBD. Identified by Monica.

FOOD PLANS

I’m finishing things up here and one of the most important tasks I have will be to transfer the URLs of my bookmarked blogs into a Word document that I can email to myself and then erase all memory of me on this hunk of junk that they call a computer. The last day is going very smoothly. No one is really here and things are nice and quiet. I am essentially waiting for the word of when we can go home. Once I get home is when the real work will start.

I have to go shopping for Thanksgiving! I am hoping that they will have everything that I need at the close grocery store and that I won’t have to make any additional trips. You never know though, it could go either way. Tomorrow at 1:30 Monica’s sister will come to take me and the beginnings of my food over to Monica’s house where all will be assembled. The dishes I am making will be:
Turkey Tofu
Vegetarian Stuffing
Gravy
Mashed Potatoes
Cranberry Sauce
Brussel Sprouts
Artichokes
I am also in charge of bringing Dance Dance Revolution but in a sneaky way so that Tony doesn’t hate the idea of not having Thanksgiving at our house even more. He hates that game and the idea of people playing it all night will make him grumpy. I also haven’t mentioned the fact that Monica purchased a karaoke machine. I hope that all the food will keep him happy enough. Maybe we’ll get a pecan pie. He has been wanting one for at least a year.

That is a lot of action for me. I am hoping that I can get the stuffing made tonight and the Tofu marinated so that I can layer it all up in the morning and then bring it ready to bake to Monica’s. I should also be able to do the cranberries tonight. After that the rest should be pretty simple and easy. Monica is in charge of:
Turkey
Meaty stuffing
Greens
Macaroni and Cheese
And may also be doing a sweet potato I can’t remember

Dave will also be joining the crew. He will be picked up along with me and bring his contributions over. He is taking on:
Ham
Dessert (I hope it will be gravy cake)
Bread

I hope someone is planning on bringing some drinks. I know I will be bringing lots of Tupperware. I plan to bring plenty home.

Hope you all have a wonderful and delicious holiday!

COVER STORY

Today is an interesting day. I am sitting in the Customer Service class watching Cassandra teach it. No one but me has ever taught the class before. It is strange seeing the course that I created being taught in a style that is different than mine. I think she is doing a fantastic job but sometimes I have to hold myself back as far as adding things on. Unless I feel they are really important, then I certainly will speak up. Yesterday she told me that teaching while I was in the room was like being a cover band playing for the group that they always cover. I found it to be an interesting analogy.

Yesterday was my going away celebration. It was pretty nice but seemed to focus a lot on the Christmas party last year. I truly have learned my lesson when it comes to that sort of thing. The other common topic was people not believing I was really leaving as I had left once before and came back after three months. I guess after five years, less those three months of course, I had expected a little more. Maybe they just have a different sense of humor when it comes to that kind of stuff than I do. A few people said some really nice things to me though. I guess that is really what matters. I know I did good work here. I don’t need them to tell me.

Tomorrow will be a very easy day. I will finish cleaning out my desk, put an automatic reply on my email, and erase all the bookmarks and remembered things from my computer. There really isn’t much left to do. Last time when I left, even though I hadn’t planned on coming back, it wasn’t as sad. I didn’t feel as much as if a chapter of my life was closing. Of course it hasn’t always been the happiest chapter but it hasn’t been all bad by any means either. It’s just very strange.

1. Make a list little Lars never seen a star/ Put his fans behind bars/ Can’t you see mp3 means you’re stealing from me/ you should have bought a Cd

2. Daddy’s ghost behind you/ sleeping dog beside you/ You’re a point of mystery/ You’re the prayer inside me

3. Does it make you happy to ignore me on streets/ I guess by now you think I’m weak/ I wish you could have said something before now

4. So I go/ Though it hurts me so/ I'm crying/ For your love

5. Girl I must warn you/ I sense something strange in my mind/ Situation is serious/ Let's do it cause we're running out of time.

SOME ALARMS AND SOME SURPRISES

This morning started off very peacefully. I watched the season premier of Project Runway, which I had missed because I was watching the very disappointing 19th run of Sasuke “aka” Ninja Warrior. Ninja Warrior is the most insane obstacle course ever created and is one of my favorite things to watch because the things these guys do are simply amazing. My favorite run was 17, when Makoto Nagano became the second person in history to finish the course. You can see him tackling all four stages below.

The thing with this competition is that they consistently make it harder. Once Nagano completed the course the 18th run was totally insane. Only six people made it past the first stage and three made it to the third no one, including Nagano, finished stage three. Nagano was close but accidentally grabbed the wrong part of an obstacle and disqualified himself.

For run 19 they simply went too far. The obstacles are so much harder that only two people made it past stage one (100 attempt the course each time). Nagano was very close to finishing but missed it saying he wasn't determined enough. Maybe seeing all his best competitors fail was too depressing. No one made it past the second obstacle on stage two, making it the shortest competition in history. I hope they don’t make the course harder next year because it would just be stupid. You want to see people have at least the opportunity to finish. If they keep the same course as they had this year I think more will succeed.

Anyway, I digressed a whole lot. This morning was very peaceful. It was a cold morning but brisk and still. The train ride was quiet and speedy. As I got off the train I was listening to “no surprises”, by Radiohead on the iPod and was in a nice happy place. Then as the words in my ears sang, “no alarms and no surprises,” I came off the escalator to the surprising alarm of a fire engine. The day hasn’t quite recovered. I forgot that I agreed to stay late to help with a volunteer orientation. I did three depressing and draining practice interviews, and Cassandra is out sick so I can’t go over some things with her that I really need to cover before I leave. No surprises indeed.

1. Underneath the bridge/ top has sprung a leak and/ the animals I trapped/ Have all become my pets. Something In The Way, Nirvana. Identified by Brooke.

2. Make a list little Lars never seen a star/ Put his fans behind bars/ Can’t you see mp3 means you’re stealing from me/ you should have bought a Cd

3. Daddy’s ghost behind you/ sleeping dog beside you/ You’re a point of mystery/ You’re the prayer inside me

4. Does it make you happy to ignore me on streets/ I guess by now you think I’m weak/ I wish you could have said something before now

5. THe first cut/ Is a criminal thing/ The first cut/ Goes deeper in. The First Cut, Eurythmics. Identified by Mom.

NOT SO MINI MUSIC RANT

In the comments section from yesterday’s post my Mom talked about me getting on the ice to skate. I have been thinking about it a lot for the last month or even a little longer. The itch got really bad about three weeks ago while I was listening to The Magical Mystery Tour and my body just wanted to make a program for Strawberry Fields Forever. Sadly, there are no rinks that are particularly easy for me to get to and I like things to be easy. I secretly hoped that there was a rink on the DePaul campus that I could sneak some ice time on but there isn’t. They have an intramural hockey team but they practice at one of the few city rinks.

The first event of the season, Skate America, aired Oct 28th and the second, Cup of China was on last Sunday. Happily, there will be skating on every Sunday (except one) from now until Dec 23rd. Even though it makes me incredibly happy to see the top skaters so often and gauge how they will end up performing this year as we get to Worlds in March I am also experiencing some frustration with the sport.

In my posts last year I talked about how much I love the new judging system (based on a base value of points for each element) because it really pushes the skater to achieve more than they had to on the 6.0 system and is much fairer. I still agree with that statement. However, I am interested in why skating in the Us, which used to bring in great ratings, is failing so much. One of the reasons could be the lack of people like Dick Button to get spectators excited about the new system and instead maintaining his typical curmudgeon attitude. Some people have said that the sport is suffering because it is perceived as unfair and corrupt because of the incident at the 2002 Olympics. That could very well be true. However, instead of trumpeting the merits of the new system as being a way to stop such practices, the system was rolled out as complicated. Maybe it is just m but I think it is easier to understand that each move has a point value and then the points are added up then a system where they get random numbers assigned to them based on a program as a whole. Even after a life of skating that system didn’t make all that much sense.

Anyway, I have digressed from my point. My point is that even a lover of skating such as me sometimes has a hard time with some of the skaters. I have my favorites, people that light up the ice and you can’t stop watching, and I have people that I tend to watch out of the corner of my eye. I think the problem is incredibly simple. They need to do something about the music. They need to bring back innovation and interest. I can’t stand to hear another program with the music from Carmen, Sing Sing Sing, Vivaldi’s Four Seasons, The Mission soundtrack, or a Broadway melody. If I am getting bored with the music and I love the sport I can only imagine what the casual observer must think.

It isn’t as if there is a lack of music out in the world. There isn’t even a lack of instrumental music in the world. You don’t have to use classical music to be graceful and artistic. There are instrumental arrangements of popular music all over the place. Why aren’t people tapping into the true variety that is out there? New music would inherently bring new artistic expression and with new expression comes new excitement. How awesome would it be to see a short program to Da Funk by Daft Punk or a long program to some instrumental Radiohead piece? It would be entirely crazy awesome I tell you. Some people can carry off the classical pieces, they have a dance quality and a maturity that can actually express the music but some of the skaters just can’t get in tune with the traditional pieces. They need to recommend some selections to their coaches and choreographers, things that they like and motivate them. Sure, it may take the judges a little bit to get used to but if the top skaters do it I think it could work. I mean Jubert won everything possible last season to instrumental versions of Metallica. He was awesome. I’m keeping my fingers crossed. The sport is progressing physically and is increasingly more complex. The music needs to get modernized as well.

Oh, and another thing, stop taking skating videos off youtube for copyright issues US Figure Sating Assn the sport needs all the viewers it can get. Dumbases.

1. Underneath the bridge/ top has sprung a leak and/ the animals I trapped/ Have all become my pets

2. I met you on a midway at a fair last year/ and you stood out like a ruby in a Black man’s ear. That Song About The Midway. Joni Mitchell. Identified by Mom.

3. Make a list little Lars never seen a star/ Put his fans behind bars/ Can’t you see mp3 means you’re stealing from me/ you should have bought a Cd

4. Daddy’s ghost behind you/ sleeping dog beside you/ You’re a point of mystery/ You’re the prayer inside me

5. Does it make you happy to ignore me on streets/ I guess by now you think I’m weak/ I wish you could have said something before now

A BALD ASSHOLE IN MY BRAIN

Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes. I am incredibly excited. I have now started to get very nervous as well. It’s a good nervous, an exciting motivating nervous, but nervous all the same. The main reason I was looking for a new job was to do something new. I was no longer being challenged. However, it is nice to be someone who can answer questions about virtually every aspect of what goes on at work. It is nice to have someone come to you with a question and you not have to look anything up before you can quote numbers and statistics. It is nice to know you are really good at your job.

I have no doubt that I will become really good at my new job. I also know that it would be insane not to expect a lengthy period of adjustment. One of the nice things about when I am starting is that the students won’t be at school. I’ll have time until mid Jan before they return to get used to how everything works. I amso happy about that. It helps a lot. It certainly doesn’t erase the nerves though.

Last night I dreamt I was Larry David. If you know who that is, you will get a sense of how incredibly nervous I actually am. That man makes Woody Allen look relaxed and sane. Not only was I Larry David but I was Larry David lost in an enormous hotel that seemed to resemble parts of a temple in Ninja Gaiden Sigma. I haven’t even played that game in weeks since I bested the horrible Queen Fiend. Talk about a stressful battle. She was one of the most difficult bosses that I have ever faced in the history of gaming.

Once I became myself again in dreamland, I found myself taking train after train after train and getting delayed and lost in order to get someplace that I really could have walked to. Why I didn’t walk I have no idea because I usually prefer to walk short distances unless it is incredibly cold outside but it was not cold in my dream. It was a little cold after I woke up though so maybe it does make sense.

I know that everything will work out just fine. In a way I am actually glad to get out of my comfort zone. I know it is only natural to feel this way when starting something new. I just hope that my dreams will start to calm down because if they stay at this level of anxiety I will be a sick sick person in a number of weeks. I need to find something to keep me nice and relaxed for until I get started. Any suggestions?

1. I know/ I can’t find you/ I go/ sit beside you. I Know, The Best Band

2. We love to boogie/ we love to boogie/ Jitterbug boogie/ High school boogie/ we love to boogie/ On a Saturday night. We Love To Boogie, T-Rex (not I Love the nightlife (Disco Round) by Alicia Bridges although it could easily be mistaken for it)

4. Seven am so it begins again/ One zip favoring familiar silhouettes/ Left whips and chains/ Behind I’m boycotting trends it’s my new look this season. Girl Disappearing, Tori Amos

5. You see this kind if chick in every town/ whenever there’s a scene she’ always hanging around/ she’s so naive and innocent/ stares at you with awe/ she’s only 14 but she knows how to draw. Superlungs my Supergirl, Donovan.

I'M OVER IT

It is official. At about 4:30pm yesterday I put in my two weeks notice at work. As those who have been reading for a while know there is a lot that I really love about my job. However, I have reached a kind of stalemate. There isn’t much left for me to learn and there isn’t anywhere left to go. I’ve had my eyes open for a while, looking for the right opportunities and putting applications in here and there. Something perfect clicked and I am so excited about this new chapter.

I’m going to be working for DePaul University in the Career Development department. I’ll be working primarily with student employees and ensuring that they have actual work to do and are both learning themselves and growing the program. I’ll be in a relatively new part of the department so I’ll be able to not only grow myself but help grow the university and the services they offer. It is a wonderful opportunity. Not only that, but they have tuition reimbursement that starts on day one of employment. I have no idea what I’ll be studying but I do know that I will be getting my masters in something. The great thing is that I have all the time in the world to figure it out and I don’t have to worry about the financial burden of changing directions.

Continuing my education is something that I have wanted to do since leaving college, I simply haven’t known how or had the resources to do it. What a day, what a day. I’m going to miss a lot about this crazy place that I work but I guess that is a good thing. Having just hired an assistant for the contract I work on I can leave knowing the work I started is in good hands. I’m so glad for that because I put a lot into my Customer Service class and I wouldn’t feel good laving it with someone I didn’t trust. Come Nov 26th I am on to a whole new adventure. I can’t wait to get started.

1. I know/ I can’t find you/ I go/ sit beside you

2. We love to boogie/ we love to boogie/ Jitterbug boogie/ High school boogie/ we love to boogie/ On a Saturday night

3. Daddy’s flown across the ocean/ leaving just a memory/ a snapshot in the family album/ daddy what else did you leave for me. Another Brick In The Wall Pt. 1, Pink Floyd. Identified by Katrina

4. Seven am so it begins again/ One zip favoring familiar silhouettes/ Left whips and chains/ Behind I’m boycotting trends it’s my new look this season

5. You see this kind if chick in every town/ whenever there’s a scene she’ always hanging around/ she’s so naive and innocent/ stares at you with awe/ she’s only 14 but she knows how to draw

THE EDGE

I’m on the edge of something big. I want so much to write about it but I just can’t quite yet. There is nothing else that I want to write about so it has made posting a little hard. My office smells like Sbarro pizza, which I am not a huge fan of but right this second it sounds amazingly delicious. I have some pasta in the fridge though so I will not be eating pizza. My pasta is delicious. There is little better than a mixture of pesto and mushrooms. MMMMM food. That’s all I can say for now. I truly hope that I will be able to go over the edge, in a good way, in the next few days.

1. Lonesome cowboy bill/ Rides the rodeo/ Lonesome cowboy Bill/ You got to see him yodel-eh-he-hoo. Lonesome Cowboy Bill, Identified by Monica.

2. You never give me your money/ You only give me your funny paper/ and in the middle of negotiations/ you break down. You Never Give Me Your Money. The Beatles. Identified by Brooke.

3. I know/ I can’t find you/ I go/ sit beside you

4. We love to boogie/ we love to boogie/ Jitterbug boogie/ High school boogie/ we love to boogie/ On a Saturday night

5. I never meant to give you mushrooms girl/ I never meant to bring you to my world/ But now you’re sitting in the corner crying/ And now it’s my fault/ My fault. My Fault, Eminem. Identified by Brooke.

THE WONDERS OF INVINCIBILITY

I have always appreciated the power of meditation. I’m not a serious practitioner and certainly don’t know the ins and outs of “proper techniques” but I do feel that it is something that can bring people a sense of peace and enlightenment. For me, it is something to do instead of punching a wall, yelling uncontrollably, or spending copious amounts of money that I don’t have. Sometimes I know that you need to breathe, do some serious introspection, and try to become aware of yourself.

Because of these reasons, it is with great joy that I want to share the word about Invincible Donovan University set to open in Scotland. Invincible is the brainchild of two exceedingly awesome individuals, Donovan and David Lynch. According to an article in The Scotsman, “Students in the college will study education, health, economics and music and arts, along with ‘total knowledge’ and the ‘unified field’. It will promote national ‘invincibility’ and world peace.” How incredibly awesome is that. Not only will the students be getting relevant educations on basic Liberal Arts topics but they will also become invincible. Where was this school when I went to college? You are different so are we my ass. I want enlightened invincibility and world peace. Sure it isn’t built yet and doesn’t have accreditation but it is just a matter of time until that happens.

"For a country the size of Scotland it would take only 250 students meditating to protect Scotland from its enemies and to bring peace, to stop violence and drug abuse," Lynch said. "That is just a byproduct of the students meditating together." I wonder how many people we need meditating around the world to bring about the salvation of us all. Do I think it will truly work to the level that Lynch and Donovan claim? Probably not, but I don’t think it would hurt anything either. I think it is a really beautiful wonderful idea.

1. My dick costs a late night fee/ Your dick got the HIV/ My dick plays on the double feature screen/ Your dick went straight to DVD. My Dick, Mickey Avalon

2. Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Trippin’ over rails and fences/ Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Made of the mist in the abyss. Slippin Through The Sensors. Fruit Bats

3. I feel unhappy/ I feel so sad/ I’ve lost the best friend/ That I ever had. Changes, Black Sabbath

4. I really know how it feels to be/ Stressed out stressed out/ when you’re face to face with your adversity. Stressed Out, Tribe Called Quest

5. Sucking on my titties like you wanted me calling me/ all the time like Blondie/ Check out my chrissy behind it's fine. Fuck The Pain Away, Peaches

SOMEDAY...

Most mornings as I leave for work Tony sleepily opens his eyes and says something nice to me like, “I’ll miss you,” or “I love you,” something like that and I’ll say something nice back to him. This morning was no different except, after all the normal things he said something else, “Someday…” I asked him, “Someday what” and he sleepily replied, “Someday we can all be greasers.”

Someday we can all be greasers. As I left the room I wondered what kind of strange dream he was having and laughed to myself at the implications of that statement. What if it were true? What kind of world would greaser world be? Would it be somewhere I would want to live? Would I even know if I wanted to live there or not because it would just be the norm? Questions abounded so I just decided to go with it. What steps would we have to take to make this happen and would society be better as a result of the shift?

Step 1. Fashion
Leather will make a serious comeback. Not that I’m saying leather has ever truly gone out of style, it has always been around in some shape or form but the waist length leather jacket is generally only seen as acceptable in certain circles. It will become the “it” item. The leather pant will become acceptable everyday wear for all people, not just rock stars and prostitutes. The shiner the leather the more prestige it will have. Every male will rock a white-t. They won’t be hip-hop anymore. The size of the t-shirts will be regulated and no XXLs will be sold to people who are normal sized. Greasers don’t do baggy. Women are welcome to leather but will be encouraged to wear brightly colored Capri pants or knee-length pencil skirts. Sweaters, both long and short sleeved, will be the rage but are not to hit lower than the top of the hip, it will be acceptable to tuck them in. The bullet bra will be back in full force. The pointier the boobs are the hotter the woman will be. As far as hair goes, it is obvious we are talking grease and combs handy at all times. Neither men nor women will be exempt from this rule although the ladies will no be required to appear as if they have just com from the shower.

Step 2. Vehicles
The SUV will become completely obsolete and the muscle car will return with a vengeance. Motorcycle sales will skyrocket and every young lady who is anyone at all will ride a Vespa that matches their sweater or scarf. The sedan will be seen as the lamest of all lame vehicles. Trucks of the pick-up variety will be acceptable.

Step 3. Attitude
Smoking will no longer be banned in public places. In fact, it will be encouraged as will general loitering. Slang will be the norm because you can’t be cool and talk like a square. Rumbles will be acceptable as a last resort for settling arguments but not with heavy weaponry because only a chicken pulls a gun in a rumble. Real men fight with knives, chains, bats, and tire irons. People will be respected for their level of cool not their level of success in the traditional sense. Greasers will still want the global economy to run smoothly. Not to say that people won’t have the same jobs we do today but the pay scales for some professions will shift dramatically. The expert mechanic will be one of the highest paid professionals in the world.

So, would I enjoy life as a greaser? Is this the way that the world should head in order to solve our problems of war, greed, hate, and inequity? I admit that parts of it sound ok. Nukes would be out of the question, there is nothing greaser about killing people from hundreds of miles away. But rampant leather and smoking only promises more anger and general grossness among the population at large. I’ve always wanted a Vespa and there is something about those bullet bras that make sweaters look great. Even so, I like a variety of people. I know there are many styles of greasers and I haven’t even touched on so many aspects of greaser culture here but I think I might prefer more widespread tastes. I suppose that I’ll have to disagree with Tony. Someday, we can’t all be greasers. It just wouldn’t work.

1. My dick costs a late night fee/ Your dick got the HIV/ My dick plays on the double feature screen/ Your dick went straight to DVD.

2. Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Trippin’ over rails and fences/ Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Made of the mist in the abyss.

3. I feel unhappy/ I feel so sad/ I’ve lost the best friend/ That I ever had.

4. I really know how it feels to be/ Stressed out stressed out/ when you’re face to face with your adversity

5. Sucking on my titties like you wanted me calling me/ all the time like Blondie/ Check out my chrissy behind it's fine

A SPOOKY MEME

I found this meme over at Katrina's blog and just had to take it. I am like totally trying to get in the spirit.

1. What's the scariest movie you've ever seen?
Hands down it was the original Amityville Horror. That was easily the scariest thing ever created. It was based on a true story which made it even more terrifying. The new one was horrible, I fell asleep in the theater.

2. What was your favorite Halloween costume as a child?
Voltron, I was wicked awesome. I had a mask and a Blazing Sword that talked. I had big old shoulders made of cardboard.

3. Given enough money what would be your fantasy Halloween costume?
I really want Tony and I to go as Ernie and Bert because he is tall and I am short, I have a roundhead and he has a long one. It shouldn’t be that hard to do but since we love Ernie and Bert so much we would want it to be perfect and since I don’t have time to shop for the perfect striped sweaters or make a very very long paperclip chain I would want to hire someone to do this for us.

4. When was the last time you went trick-or-treating?
I want to say I was 14 or 15. I was far too old for it.

5. What is your favorite Halloween candy?
As far as traditional Halloween candy goes I would say candy corn. It is incredibly disgusting and tastes as if chalk were made of marshmallows but I still like it.

6. Tell us about a scary nightmare you once had.
Well the scariest are the nightmares about the Blue Meanies. If you want true horror click on the link. My first nightmare was of a HUGE monarch butterfly wearing high top turquoise Chuck Taylor’s stomping around my bed and looking at me. It sucked.

7. What is your supernatural fear?
The guy outside the window. He has a long long beard and fucked up teeth. He has wispy long falling off hair and he cackles. He looks like he spent way too long out at sea. I swear I have seen him outside my bedroom window many many times. The thing is that my bedroom is almost never on the first floor. He also doesn’t generally have a body.

8. What is your "creepy-crawly" fear?
Pede-like creatures are the worst of all creatures. You know em, those really fast centipede type creatures that can swim so you can't drown them in the toilet. Ugh.

9. Tell us about a time when you saw a ghost or heard something go bump in the night.
Other than the headless old man at the window I would have to say in the Marshall Field Music Building at SLC. It has always been said that the building is haunted. People would get trapped in practice rooms or other strange things would happen. The stories of where the ghost originated are vast and unconnected. One day I was in there with my sister and her friend Corey and I went into this dark back stairway for some reason. The door slammed shut on me (no one was around because they were on a different floor) and it wouldn’t open. It was pitch black and utterly terrifying. I pulled and pulled and pushed and twisted the knob but all in vain. Then it just swung open. Very strange.

10. Would you stay overnight in a real haunted house?
I might say that I would but if something real fucked happened I would be out the door.

11. Are you a traditionalist or a creative carver of your Jack-O'Lantern?
I haven’t carved a pumpkin in a really long time but I like to think that I would do something creative. Then again, I would probably try but not be happy with it and then just cut some triangles for eyes and a crooked mouth to cover up my errors.

12. How much do you decorate your house at Halloween?
None. That is for people with kids.

13. What do you want on your tombstone?
I don’t really expect to have one because I am going to live forever.

1. My dick costs a late night fee/ Your dick got the HIV/ My dick plays on the double feature screen/ Your dick went straight to DVD.

2. Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Trippin’ over rails and fences/ Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Made of the mist in the abyss.

3. I feel unhappy/ I feel so sad/ I’ve lost the best friend/ That I ever had.

4. I really know how it feels to be/ Stressed out stressed out/ when you’re face to face with your adversity

5. Sucking on my titties like you wanted me calling me/ all the time like Blondie/ Check out my chrissy behind it's fine

MANIC MONDAY: FROST

It has been a long time since I have done a Manic Monday. Visit Mo to see other Manic Monday participants. I keep meaning to but then I keep forgetting or have something else to talk about. Today I want to talk about this word. Frosty.

There are many things that are frosty; Frosties, Frost, Ice, Windows, Bitches, etc. However, there is one type of frost that surpasses all and that is the sheet of frost on the outside of a proper Jell-O Pudding Pop. Once you have dispatched with the frosty ice sheet the pop will then bend in a luscious and wonderful way. Unfortunately, these pops are no longer available. The Jell-O pops of today are all wrong. They are the wrong shape, the wrong taste, and they have no frosty ice sheet. They are a true disappointment.

However, all is not lost. There is a frosty ice sheet to be had. It exists on a fruit pop instead of a pudding pop but that is ok. It will do. I’m, talking about Breyers all fruit bars. MMMMM delicious. They are also shaped like the pudding pop so that makes them even more perfect. I have eaten the Strawberry flavor so it is really the only one I can completely vouch for but I have a feeling that all flavors will suffice. Under the frosty ice sheet the pops bend in a Jell-O-like way as well. These pops are excellent. They are also incredibly low in calories and sugars. You can’t beat that.

I really want to try the Swirl variety pack. Man those flavors sound fantastic; Blueberry Lemon, Strawberry Blueberry, Strawberry lemon, and Strawberry Orange. Plus, the swirl pudding pop was always my favorite. I feel really sad for Monica because I know how much she loves pudding pops (maybe even more than I do) and most of these flavors have strawberry in them and she can’t eat Strawberry. The rest of you should eat these things. I can’t stand frosty goodness like this disappearing twice.

1. My dick costs a late night fee/ Your dick got the HIV/ My dick plays on the double feature screen/ Your dick went straight to DVD.

2. Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Trippin’ over rails and fences/ Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Made of the mist in the abyss.

3. I feel unhappy/ I feel so sad/ I’ve lost the best friend/ That I ever had.

4. I saw her today at the reception/ A glass of wine in her hand. You Can't Always Get What You Want, Rolling Stones. Identified by Phil

5. I really know how it feels to be/ Stressed out stressed out/ when you’re face to face with your adversity

MY WORK THERE IS DONE

My workshop graduated yesterday. I finished 14 out of 18 people for a 77% grad rate. The average is 60% so I am pretty happy to have kept most of them. One of the things I most enjoyed was having each client turn to the person next to them and say something positive. It was hard for some of them because a few didn’t really get along with the person next to them all that well. However, they were at least able to say that they wished them luck in their job search. One client turned to another and she said that she had seen a lot of growth in him, in the way he spoke and presented himself. That when he walked into class on Wednesday in his suit for his practice interview it was like looking at a whole new person. The entire class appreciated that and the smile on the young man’s face told it all.

Some of them felt they had really grown and learned a lot. Even though our program is only eight days long, there really can be a noticeable change in some of the clients. There is a change in their communication, their confidence, and in their level of hope and certainty about their futures. It is amazing to be a part of that transformation.

The first five days of workshop we spend the last hour going over five common interview questions.

Day 1- Tell me a little about yourself
Day 2- What are your greatest strengths
Day 3- What is one of your weaknesses
Day 4- Where do you see yourself in 3, 5, or 10 years
Day 5- why should I hire you

I told them that since we asked that first question I had seen a huge amount of growth and maturity in their answers and that I was proud of all of them. At that point, even the ones who felt they hadn’t changed at all seemed to acknowledge that fact. They changed from people who stumbled over their words and didn’t know how to make themselves look good into confident young men and women who knew that they had something to offer. One of the students even said they should go around and answer that first question again just to see how far they had come. The rest of the class groaned so only she answered the question but the confidence with which she did was awesome.

Sure there were some bumps in the road and I have some things I need to tighten up as far as scheduling and even teaching some of the sessions. Regardless, I feel I taught them what needed to be taught and showed them a different way of doing things. I have high hopes for them all. On Monday I get a whole new group and it starts again.

1. Imagine there’s no heaven/ It’s easy if you try/ No hell below us/ Above us only sky. Imagine. John Lennon. Identified by Monica

2. I lost my lucky ball and chain/ now she’s four years gone. She's five feet tall and sick of me/ And all my carrying on. Lucky Ball and Chain, They Might Be Giants. Identified by Monica.

3. My dick costs a late night fee/ Your dick got the HIV/ My dick plays on the double feature screen/ Your dick went straight to DVD.

4. Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Trippin’ over rails and fences/ Slippin’ on through the sensors/ Made of the mist in the abyss.

5. I feel unhappy/ I feel so sad/ I’ve lost the best friend/ That I ever had.

10 SNOGGABLE FICTIONAL MALES

Cassandra, Customized Training Assistant, seems to be doing well. Today we played find the files. It was not an easy game. Before we moved offices things were exactly where I expected them to be. Now, not only do I not know where files are, no one seems to know. As we have an audit coming up relatively soon and are missing a few (and I mean very few) files, this could prove to be a problem. We have some good people trying to help locate them though so it should all be ok. The Volunteer Coordinator resigned after her first day. I am really pissed. Anyway.

Blog Antagonist had this really interesting meme up a while ago about 10 literary characters that you would want to make out with. Being quite a reader, I thought that I would have no problems with this whatsoever. I actually found it to be quite hard. I could only come up with four (and that was a challenge only two were easy) so I really take no responsibility for anyone five and after. I had to push the envelope a little bit. You are all probably going to now find me a very odd individual. See, here is the thing. Most of the books I love aren’t teeming with positive male characters that I would want to make out with. In fact, many of the books that I love have pretty horrible men in them. I like books about bad people. Oh well.

1. Valentine Michael Smith, Stranger in a Strange Land
Ah, the man from Mars, a genuinely honest person who loved humanity more than anything in the universe. It was written that when he kissed or made love he was able to focus only on the person that he was with. His mind was empty of everything except experiencing that moment. It was said to be quite nice. It sounds quite nice. He understood people but didn’t understand the world in which they lived. He tried things his own way and changed people for the better. That is why he had to be my number one.

2. Howard Roark, The Fountainhead
Roark was actually the first person that I thought of but he was soon eclipsed by Mike. There is something incredibly sexy about someone who is incredibly passionate and rigid in their convictions even if those convictions sometimes make you an asshole. Roark was a sick fucker but I loved him and wish more people felt as passionately about their work as he did. Well, maybe not that passionate, but close.

3. Paul Mua’dib, Dune
Paul had powers. Really cool powers that let him lead people and guide a society. I’m not so sure I want to make out with Paul from the latter books because, if I recall correctly, he went a little bonkers but in this book he was an inspiration. He was a hero and he loved with all his heart. Wait, wasn’t he 15? Oops, I promise that I literally just remembered that while I was writing. Damn. Take my list down to three legitimate entries.

4. Switters, Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates.
Switters is a nutjob. He is a walking talking contradiction but he loves life and he loves women. He’s a real Indiana Jones type of guy who is appropriately reverent of other cultures. Yet, he still questions the validity of most social constructs. Plus, if he could get a nun to sleep with him he had to be offering something pretty good.

5. Pan, Jitterbug Perfume
Yes, I realize that Pan is a half-man half-goat. As you can see my list has gotten quite wonky. Pan loved the ladies and the ladies loved Pan. Sure, he smelled like a goat in heat all the time but that’s what the perfume was all about.

6. Hazel, Watership Down
Hazel is a rabbit. That is even sillier than a half-man half-goat. It doesn’t even make sense. However, if Hazel was a person, he would be right up there after Roark. Hazel was the best person a rabbit could be. He led his flock to a new home where they would be safe and thrive. He orchestrated a plan to liberate does from the clutches of an evil tyrant. He was incredibly smart and knew how to harness the strengths of those around him. He was a true leader because he knew when to follow.

7. Azlan, The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe
Sure, Azlan is a lion and an allegory for Jesus. I’m not trying to say I want to make out with Jesus or a lion. Azlan is just freaking cool. He is magic, just, wise, and brave. He would sacrifice himself for the betterment of the world and has no problem taking a kid for a ride on his back. Azlan would make a good dad.

8. Severus Snape, Harry Potter
Yeah, the man was not the most attractive. Granted, he was an evil wizard. However, his love for a woman was stronger than his loyalty to domination and control. To make it even more impressive it was a love that was unrequited. If he could feel that strongly about a woman who didn’t even love him back he was obviously a man with a lot to offer. Or else he was a total sicko. It really could go either way.

9. Winston Smith, 1984
What could possibly be kissable about a man who would turn his one true love over to a horrible oppressive government to save himself you may ask? Well here it is; Winston Smith tried. He really really tried. For a while he even succeeded. Sometimes society will crush someone and they just aren’t strong enough to resist. Winston Smith was just a regular guy and he couldn’t beat the system but I would give him a kiss for trying.

10. Smog, The Hobbit
Smog was evil. Smog had scales. Smog was a greedy money hungry killer. He was not a nice guy. However, Smog was really into himself and sometimes a rich stuck up guy can have something inexplicable going for him. He's like a dragon Bateman. I was really grasping at straws by this point people. Give me a break.

2. I prayed to/ Heaven today/ Bring its hammer down on me/ And pound you out of my head/ I can’t think with you in there. Missing, Beck

3. I spend the afternoon in cars/ I sit in traffic jams for hours/ Don’t push me I am not ok. Jumpers, Sleater Kinney

5. So they say I was sometimes cruel/ I don’t know if I would say that too/ Oh I/ I don’t know about that. Sixteen, Le Tigre

FOODIE FRIDAY: SOUP AND SALAD

I made this dish on Wednesday and it was totally yummy. I haven’t made soup in ages although I used to have this awesome lentil and potato soup recipe that has disappeared along with the recipe notebook I had in college. It is too bad, that thing was great. It disappeared sometime at Addison apartment. I am not sure when but one day I went to grab it and the thing was gone.

Anyway, I made a new soup and it was pretty easy to make. The only difficult part was straining it and I am sure there are gadgets out there much better than my mesh colander for straining soup. Or maybe not and it is just a pain to do. If I had a bowl the same size as the colander it would have been much easier. The soup will serve 3-4 while the salad will serve 2

Pear and Goat Cheese Salad with pesto vinaigrette
-4cups salad greens of your choosing, ideally something with a little bitterness
-1 pear halved and cored
-2tbsp herbed goat cheese (or regular if you like)
-2tbsp slivered almonds (I made more than needed because they taste good)
-8 radishes sliced into thin rounds
-Tsp garlic powder
-Salt and pepper to taste
Dressing
-1tbsp pesto
-3tbsp balsamic vinegar

-Preheat oven to 350
-Place almonds on a baking sheet and dust with spices
-Toast for 7 min (give or take) stirring occasionally
-Put 1tbsp goat cheese in the cored out section of the pears
-Place stuffed pear in center of 2 cups of salad greens
-Sprinkle radishes and 1tbsp almonds over salad
-Dress lightly with the pesto vinaigrette

Potato, leek, and cauliflower soup with asparagus and thyme
-4 spears asparagus chopped into bite sized rounds
-½ head cauliflower chopped but not all that fine
-1 potato peeled and sliced
-2 medium leeks sliced into thin rounds (only the white and light green parts)
-2tbsp butter
-3.5cups vegetable broth
-2 cloves garlic pressed
-10 small sprigs fresh thyme
-Salt and pepper to taste
-2tbsp freshly grated parmesan cheese
-½ cup room temperature nonfat yogurt
-4 pieces thinly (1/2in) sliced ciabatta bread

-Put 1.5tbsp butter in a soup pot and melt
-Sauté leeks about 2 min
-Add garlic and sauté 1min
-Add cauliflower, potato, 6 sprigs thyme, and a dash each of salt and pepper and sauté 5 min
-Remove sprigs of thyme and discard
-Add vegetable broth and simmer 20 min or until cauliflower and potato are soft
-Pour mixture into a blender or food processor and liquefy
-Pour blended soup through a thin colander to strain out most of the pulp. It will take a while if you have a colander that fits nicely over the top of a big bowl it will be nice and easy
-Heat oven to 350
-Rub bread in the seasonings left in the baking sheet from the almonds and then cover one side with parmesan
-Bake 5-8 min until crisp and cheese is melted and browned
-Put the rest of the butter into the pan and melt
-Sauté asparagus rounds until slightly soft but still keep a nice crispness about 7 min
-Once the soup is strained add the yogurt and whisk until smooth
-Add asparagus rounds
-If needed heat over med-low heat but do not bring to a boil
-Garnish with 2 slices of ciabatta bread and the remaining thyme sprigs

Enjoy

1. If this world were mine/ I would place at your feet/ all that I own/ You’ve been so good to me. If This World Were Mine, Luthur. Identified by Urban Chick

2. I prayed to/ Heaven today/ Bring its hammer down on me/ And pound you out of my head/ I can’t think with you in there

3. I spend the afternoon in cars/ I sit in traffic jams for hours/ Don’t push me I am not ok

4. Pistol shots/ Gun shots/ pistol shots/ Gun shots/ Bullets from a revolver/ bullets from a gun/ Bullets through the atmosphere/ here they come. Sapphire Bullets of Pure Love, TheyMight Be Giants. Identified by, Monica

5. So they say I was sometimes cruel/ I don’t know if I would say that too/ Oh I/ I don’t know about that

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEAD

I write about a lot of things on this blog but have noticed that in the 252 posts I have only mentioned my sister, Shoshana, in seven of them. I find that to be very odd. Maybe it is because I am so protective of her that I don’t want to put Shoshana stuff out there for everyone to see. Maybe it is just because when we talk it is often in code and doesn’t make sense to other people. Either way, I think today is a good time to talk about her because today she is one quarter of a century old.

I remember running down the hall when she was being born. I remember holding her afterward and just being amazed at how much she was like me. I don’t remember the actual birth, it was probably too gross to remember or maybe I wasn’t in the room for that part.

She was a horrible baby. She was huge and mean and would push me off our mother’s lap when we were both trying to sit on it. I still loved her though. She got better as she got older, more fun to play with and easier to push back. You can’t go around pushing a baby when you are three. It’s just not right. She had this impish quality to her face and her eyes were always twinkling with mischievous intent. That quality hasn’t entirely left her. There is nothing quite as worrisome as Shoshana with a glint in her eye and a cackle on her lips. It means she will probably want me to do something. Or else that she just farted. She loves farting and general crass behavior but I don’t think she realizes that most people don’t. A weird one is that Shoshana.

She is the only extrovert in a family of introverts and sometimes that makes her incredibly annoying. She has these urges to go out and do things and has the energy of a ten year old. I would rather sit on my ass most of the time. I will say, however, that when I go to visit her she brings out the doer in me and when she comes to visit me I bring out the sitting on the couch and watching TV in her.

Some of my favorite Shoshana memories were while we were on summer vacations. We would watch MTV and The Box for hours and hours. We would play games and run around the yard. I would cook burritos for us for lunch. I would try desperately to make home friend potatoes but didn’t quite understand how long a potato had to cook and over what heat. I always made her eat what I made. I got better. Those were the days. There were also the days years later when I would come home form college and pass out in bed only to awaken to her snuggled up next to me. It creeped me out and I wanted to kick her but Shoshana has never been one to go light on the affection and I knew she just missed me.

We were always very close, even when fighting. We could always count on each other for some good game playing or Lego building. If I wanted to play Lego tomorrow she would be the first one I would think of. Unfortunately, she lives across the country and I don’t get the chance very often.

For her age, Shoshana has done quite a bit. I usually don’t think of her achievements as all that special because she’s my stupid little sister and so what. She has taught High School, worked as a community organizer, designed a new High School that opened in The Bronx, and most recently up and moved to LA to join Americorp and work with Habitat for Humanity. She’s made a difference to so many people in her life and is working on influencing more. She may even become a firefighter. I still can’t keep a straight face when I think of that prospect but if it is what she really wants I am sure she will make it happen. That’s the kind of kid she is. I’m proud of her. Even though I rarely say it I hope she always knows.

1. If this world were mine/ I would place at your feet/ all that I own/ You’ve been so good to me
2. I prayed to/ Heaven today/ Bring its hammer down on me/ And pound you out of my head/ I can’t think with you in there

3. I spend the afternoon in cars/ I sit in traffic jams for hours/ Don’t push me I am not ok

4. Fish heads/ Fish Heads/ Rolly polly fish heads/ Eat them up yum. Fishheads, Barnes and Barnes. Identified by Johnny Yen.

5. I am intrinsically no good/ I have a heart that’s made of wood/ And I am only biding time/ Only reciting memorized lines. The Hem Of Your Garment, Cake. Identified by Brooke.

A GOOD WEEK SO FAR

Yesterday I got the chance to do two new things at work. The first was to being my 8-day pre-employment workshop. Even though I am only on day 1.5 of 8 I think it is going quite smoothly and I don’t have anything to worry about. Not even the fact that my career counselor (who teaches much of the workshop with me) will be out of the office next week. I’m not quite sure why she needed to b out during my first class but so it goes. I’m fine with it. The second thing was to offer someone a job. I have told clients that they have been offered jobs before but it isn’t the same at all. This is someone whose resume I reviewed, who I called in for her interview, and who I got to make the hiring decision about. She starts tomorrow! I am so excited. Finally I can get some help around here.

To make things even better they are hiring a volunteer coordinator so I will never *fingers crossed* have to do that stupid job anymore. The candidate that I almost hired for my training assistant position ended up interviewing for that and they are going to offer her the position, unless they already did. The only bummer about that is that it isn’t someone else I had recommended who didn’t get hired because of some stupid stuff but there isn’t anything I can do about that. At least I feel a little better about not offering her the assistant position. I really liked her.

Tomorrow my little sister, Shoshana, will be twenty-five. What a grown-up age. I can hardly believe it. It makes me feel a little old, but not as old as being at that Of Montreal show did so it will be okay.

As I am in a very happy mood I think I will include a youtube clip that made me very happy last night. I was searching for live clips of Of Montreal doing songs I want them to play and but they never will I came across this video that a couple of random dudes made to the ever so wonderful, Tim Wish You Were Born A Girl. It’s less than two minutes long so none of you have any excuse but to watch and see how incredibly adorable and wonderful and sweet this song is. Then, if you are feeling extra happy (which you should be after that song), check out the Hiemdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse video because who doesn’t like a great song with a video that looks as it if cost $10 and makes no sense? I won't be mad it you don't because even though it is under four minutes that is almost twice as long as the first. One of these days I promise I will stop obsessing over this band that no one knows about. I will. Really. I mean it. Random songs are after the videos.





1. If this world were mine/ I would place at your feet/ all that I own/ You’ve been so good to me

2. Oh it’s good/ Good to see you again/ Good to meet your girlfriend/ I’ll try not to wonder where you are/ when you go outside to kiss her in the front seat of your car. Good, Bad, Ugly. Ani DiFranco. Identified by Brooke.

3. I prayed to/ Heaven today/ Bring its hammer down on me/ And pound you out of my head/ I can’t think with you in there

4. Lately I find myself out gazing at stars/ Hearing guitars/ Like someone in love. Like Someone in Love, Bjork. Identified by Brooke.

5. I spend the afternoon in cars/ I sit in traffic jams for hours/ Don’t push me I am not ok

THE BEST SHOW I ALMOST NEVER SAW

This past Sunday Monica and I went to an incredibly fantastic concert. We thought it was an Of Montreal concert, which it was, but it was also an MGMT and Grand Buffet concert. For some reason the opening acts were not listed anywhere. We had debated going to the show for some time. We initially planned to go when the tickets went on sale. After we got online and went to order them we were horrified by the $14 increase in price by using Ticketmaster (they were $19 tickets) and didn’t click buy. We then planned to go to the box office but then didn’t. Since we had just seen Of Montreal at Pitchfork we thought it might be okay if we missed the show. Seeing as they played almost exclusively from their new album (Hissing Fauna, Are You The Destroyer?) at Pitchfork, we didn’t want to go see the same show, even though we like that album much better now than we had at the time. Friday after work we decided to get tickets. Since it was their show and not a festival it would have to be longer and therefore they couldn’t only play songs from the new album because they would have more time. It made sense.

As we walked up to The Metro and looked at the people standing in line I got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t just feel old, I felt really old. Damn these all ages shows! I saw at least three people who brought their mothers because they weren’t old enough to go to the big city by themselves to see a show. The average age couldn’t have been over twenty and it may have been younger. We considered not standing in line with the youth but then got over ourselves and stood. When we got inside we went up to the front of the stage and ended up talking to some kids. They were really excited that we had been at Pitchfork. We were slightly uncomfortable both with their youth and the tight proximity of folks and noticed that the balcony was mostly clear and would provide an awesome view. We decided to be more comfortable and let the kids have their fun.

MGMT was real okay. I liked one of their songs. There were plenty of fans there who liked many of their songs. I was confused. I attributed it to my age and let it go. Grand Buffet was next. When I saw a large man that looked very much like Jay McCaroll of Project Runway fame wearing a cape made out of a towel I knew this band was going to be awesome. His bandmate was a skinny man who looked surprisingly like Satan, but a nice Satan. They were utterly awesome. Their banter was hilarious and they made a lot of fun of Of Montreal. They had a $15 budget and came up with a projection of Steve Martin eating dinner uncomfortably and some random props like a broom, a stuffed dog, and a cinder block not the sophisticated theatrics of Of Montreal but just as great. It was hilarious. Not to mention that their music was incredibly fun. I highly recommend seeing them if you ever have the chance. We danced like crazy and were afraid that their show was going to be better than Of Montreal, kind of like Jamie Liddell was at Pitchfork. Luckily we were wrong.

Of Montreal started out a little rough, which was surprising because they opened with one of my favorite songs, Labyrinthian Pomp, it just sounded a little crappy and off. They followed with another awesome yet off song, She’s a Rejecter. Then, without any segue went into Suffer for Fashion, it sounded awesome. Although I was somewhat dismayed because it was as if someone had started their album at song 11, let that and song 12 play, let the album restart at 1 and then played 2 and 3. Even though songs 11-12 and 1-3 flow into each other I wanted something different. Then came a new song which featured Kevin having relations with the floor, uuhhhh…okay. I was then afraid that it would only be new songs and Hissing Fauna. After Kevin wore the floor out they went into October is Eternal, an excellent instrumental piece (that we heard at pitchfork) and he went to change.

Imagine my elation when he came back out and I heard the opening notes of Oslo in the Summertime. OH MY GOD!!! I lost my shit. That is my jam and I certainly didn’t expect it. They followed with a whole bunch of excellent cuts from Sunlandic Twins mixed with Hissing Fauna. I even enjoyed The Past is a Grotesque Animal, which is one of the two songs I don’t always listen to on Hissing Fauna. It’s much better live. I still hated Bunny Ain’t No Kind of Rider I don’t know why people like that song. It is boring.

There were a few things that I would have loved to hear. Faberge Falls For Shuggie (the only Hissing Fauna song I really would have liked to hear and didn’t although A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsvinger would have been nice (part of me almost thinks I heard it but I didn’t), Wraith Pinned to The Mist and Other Games (which I will never hear because they don’t play it in this country anymore due to the mistake of turning it into an Outback Steakhouse commercial), and one of the many adorable songs I want to hug off Cherry Peel, The Bedside Drama, or Coquelicot Asleep In The Poppies (but I never will because they have moved past that stage in their careers). After the show Monica and I looked like we had been through it. My hair was as wet as if I had just stepped out of the shower and Monica looked like she had been at one of those 100 degree yoga sessions. Neither one of us had danced like that in…a very long time. At one point in time Monica asked me if we still like Belle and Sebastian better. I said yes. I think I might have changed my mind. But I’m not sure. We then went for snacks and wrote down the set list. Here it is

Labyrinthian Pomp
She's A Rejecter
Suffer for Fashion
Sink the Seine
Cato as a Pun
Exquisite Confessions
October is Eternal
Oslo in the Summertime
Forecast Fascist Future
Gronlandic Edit
The Past Is A Grotesque Animal
Requiem for OMM2
Bunny Ain't No Kind Of Rider
The Party's Crashing Us Now
Heimdalsgate Like A Promethean Curse
Encore
Soft-core
Rapture Rapes the Muses
I Was Never Young

2. The times we had/ Oh when wind would blow with rain and snow/ Were not all bad. Postcards From Italy, Beirut.

3. I wanna bathe in milk/ Eat grapes/ Robert DiNero sit on my face. Reeling, PJ Harvey

SPINACH AND MUSHROOM ENCHILADAS

It has been a long time since I have done a proper Foodie Friday but since Monica asked me for the recipe for these incredibly delicious enchiladas I made on Wednesday to celebrate the Top Chef finale. I thoughttoday was a perfect time for a foodie resurrection. Some of you may be saying, “Wait, she has written about enchiladas before.” and you would be correct. These are not the same enchiladas though so it is ok. However, you could use the enchilada sauce recipe from the above post and be totally awesome. The reason these babies are so great is the food processor that Tony’s mom got me for my birthday. Coating the cheese in the spinach makes for the creamiest delicious fluffy filling around.

-1lb or so of fresh spinach
-1/2 small jalapeño pepper
-2 cloves garlic pressed
-½ tbsp butter
-½ white onion
-2 limes
-2tbsp cilantro
-12 small tortillas (flour or corn)
-10oz Chihuahua cheese
-1lb mushrooms sliced thickly
-2 cans enchilada sauce (I think they are about 5oz each I used red but green would also be quite tasty (or you can make some))

-Preheat oven to 450

-Place the spinach, half of the jalapeño, 1 clove garlic, half the onion, juice from one lime, and half the cilantro in a food processor. Blend until it is the consistency of pesto, it shouldn’t take long.

-Grate 7oz of cheese into a large bowl and then toss with all but about 1/4cup of the spinach mixture so the cheese is nicely coated.

-Melt butter in a large sauté pan, when hot add the rest of the onion. I sliced it into long strips and that worked very well, let cook briefly and then add the second clove of garlic, let it cook for about a minute and then add the mushrooms and the other half of the jalapeño diced let cook until mushrooms are nice and tender. Douse the entire mixture with juice of ½ lime

-Heat tortillas until soft about 40 sec in the microwave

-Coat a deep baking pan with one can of enchilada sauce

-Place about 1/8 cup of the spinach and cheese mixture on each tortilla then spoon about a tbsp of the mushroom mixture on top spreading evenly.

-Roll the tortillas and place them in the pan

-Cover with the other can of enchilada sauce and the remaining cheese

-Bake about 20 minutes

-Serve with about a tbsp of the spinach mixture drizzled over the enchilada or on the side of the plate, garnish with a small lime wedge from the ½ lime you have left over and the remaining cilantro can be sprinkled playfully over the enchiladas.

Enjoy

1. You’ve got style/ That’s what other girls say/ Satin sheets/ and luxuries so fine. Dress You Up, Madonna. Identified by Urban Chick

2. The times we had/ Oh when wind would blow with rain and snow/ Were not all bad

3. I wanna bathe in milk/ Eat grapes/ Robert DiNero sit on my face

4. She came she came to meet a man/ she found an angel/ Coocoo coocoo Barabajagal was his name oh. Barabajagal, Donovan. Identified by Monica

5. Let's have bizarre celebrations/ Let’s forget who forget what forget where. Wraith Pinned To The Mist and Other Games, Of Montreal. Identified by Identified by Monica

THIS STATE I'M IN

On Tuesday I will be starting yet another phase in my career at Jobs For Youth. I will begin teaching the 8-day pre-employment workshop that we offer. I have little to no idea of what I am doing. Everyone around me is certain that I will have no problems and they are probably correct. I just like to have a finite plan for work.

Apparently, no written curriculum exists for this class. There is an outline with the topics that need to be covered and how much time will be spent on each topic. I think that it will be sufficient but I am not sure. I did get one written sheet yesterday that talked about the orientation that will be given to students on the first day. That made me feel a little bit better.

I guess that I know the material; resumes, interview questions, cover letter, thanks you letter, job applications and the like. All that stuff I am fine with. There is also a “Money Smart” component where I talk about budgeting and the benefits of using financial institutions over currency exchanges or your sock drawer. I think that section is where I am the most nervous. I certainly am ok at managing my finances but I would like a little more training before teaching others. I’m sure it will be ok though.

I also have to get everything in order for my assistant. I interviewed four people last week and my supervisor will be interviewing two of them to help with the final decision. I think I already know who will get the offer but I wanted someone to make sure I was making the right decision even though I know I am. I have never been good at making decisions but maybe I just need to man up and make things happen.

I’ll spend these next few days getting things in order with my contract to pass on to my soon to be hired Training Assistant. I am really excited about this. I have a huge list of duties of things I would have really liked to do with the grant contract but haven’t had time to do that I can’t wait for them to get started on. I also just got the grant for next year’s grant, which actually overlaps this one and the Training Assistant will get to start that one going as well. It was actually a funny process.

My contact in Springfield sent me an email with the new reporting tool for the 07-08 grant. I was very confused because I didn’t know this grant was in existence I asked my boss who told me to ask the grant guy who told me to ask the executive director. No one knew what I was talking about. I finally asked my Springfield contact to fax me a copy of the grant. There it was 82,000 worth of work that needed to be attended to. It had the ED’s signature on it from May so he must have just forgotten about it. I’m not behind at all and the requirements are actually lower than the ones for the current grant period and I know it will be well taken care of. I just wish I had been able to be even more prepared. Oh well, so it goes.

Now, back to the random songs.

1. You’ve got style/ That’s what other girls say/ Satin sheets/ and luxuries so fine

2. The times we had/ Oh when wind would blow with rain and snow/ Were not all bad

3. I wanna bathe in milk/ Eat grapes/ Robert DiNero sit on my face

4. Sometimes I feel like I don’t know/ sometimes I feel like checking out/ I wanna get it wrong/ Can’t always be strong. Ultraviolet, U2. Identified by The Doc

5. She came she came to meet a man/ she found an angel/ Coocoo coocoo Barabajagal was his name no.

DINNER WITH GERMANS

On Friday night I went for Indian food with my new work friend, Franz the German exchange social worker, Bianca a German exchange worker in Franz’s program, Monica, and Tony. We had an awesome time. The food was delicious, Monica didn’t get an allergic reaction, and we had some excellent laughs.

During dinner Tony asked Franz and Bianca if the German exchange student he knew in High School was a typical guy. See Tony had these suspicions that this guy was a total nerd. He would say things like “I am a scooter boy and scooter boys are the coolest!” while dancing the “scooter dance” He also LOVED Boney M. As Tony had suspected, scooter boys are not cool at all, particularly if they are huge Boney M fans. They are kind of like a more pathetic version of emo kids. Tony felt much better because he was certain that this guy was a wiener but didn’t want to hold these suspicions if he truly was cool in Germany. Tony also had a great moment discussing scooters when he said, “you know, scooters, vroom vroom” and the Germans looked at him like, duh of course. Tony was confused because we were also talking about some German pop sensation named Scooter and he was just trying to be clear but, in actually, Tony was the only one who was confused.

After we left the restaurant we took a short walk down Devon Avenue because Franz wanted to see what was around. I explained that it would look something like this, sari store, restaurant, jewelry store, sari store, etc. I was actually wrong because the jewelry stores didn’t start for a few blocks and instead there were little convenience stores in their place. Regardless we got the picture and decided to wait for the bus.

I asked Monica if she had read the Hillbilly article I posted that day and we started laughing at how horrible it was. Franz asked, “What is a hillbilly?” so Monica, Tony, and I let the stereotypes fly. I have never claimed to be particularly politically correct. Sure racism makes me mad and I get a good laugh out of it but I’m not above the occasional stereotype. Hypocritical? Sure, but at least I’m honest. I will also admit that we were kind of explaining white trash or rednecks and not hillbillies but we did later correct ourselves while explaining that the terms were somewhat interchangeable but not entirely.

As Tony said, “it is always okay to make fun of white trash,” Monica and I agreed. It just is. You can argue but you will be wrong .We explained that you can spot one by their plaid shirts, mesh caps, wife-beaters (cause they like to beat their wives), cheap beer, (I also learned that beer is considered food in Germany) and eagerness to call you a faggot and kick your ass. I told Franz that this last thing would particularly apply to him being male and European. Monica added that they would also probably call him British because all Europeans are British to white trash. Tony told Bianca that, as a German woman, white trash would probably expect her to walk around carrying beer steins and wearing lederhosen at all times. People at the bus stop looked at us like we were insane and they had every right to do so. Franz saw a guy in a motorcycle and asked us what kind of person he was to which we replied, “he’s just a guy on a bike,” which he was. “VROOM VROOM” was all Franz had to say about that, which was incredibly hilarious. Monica made sure to let the Germans know that you can’t always tell white trash by looking at them but once they say “hey faggot I’m gonna kick you ass,” you would know. She is right.

When we got on the bus we had to be quiet in case there were any white trash types on the bus. It appeared to be safe so we kept talking. We learned that the German equivalent of white trash is loosely translated as “land egg” I would type the German word but I couldn’t even pronounce it and Franz is gone for the day. I like the term though, it makes sense.

Now I realize that we are probably horrible people for teaching the Germans this stuff. We felt kind of like the 8th graders telling the 2nd graders bad words but it was so incredibly funny that we couldn’t stop. ot that Franz and Bianca are like second graders but, you know what I mean. I’m sure that someone will call me a faggot and kick my ass any day now for payback. That will suck.