Thursday, December 18, 2008

2 DAYS TO GO

“80% of male multimillionaires having extramarital affairs plan to cut back on lovers’ gifts, says Prince and Associates”

This was a quote in my January issue of Money magazine. I just cracked up laughing when I read it. It really caused me to wonder who this magazine is truly written for. In all honesty, who is that statistic really going to help? I mean it is great for a laugh but is it real financial advice? Not so much. Is it even a real financial trend? I guess it is if you are an affair having multimillionaire. What’s the point? Maybe the author thought it was as funny as I do.

I am having a really hard time focusing on anything but getting on a plane on Saturday. Not only do I get to go home to Minneapolis for seven days but I get to come back home to Chicago and not have to be back to work for nine more. Oh the joys of working in higher ed.

Monday, December 15, 2008

HOLIDAY TIME IS ALNOST HERE

I have that giddy holiday feeling. You know the one, all warm and fuzzy inside for no reason. I also have a bit of nerves. I absolutely love the holidays. Not only will I be going home on Saturday to spend the holidays with my family but Tony will be joining me on Christmas Eve. After 4.5 years of being a couple we will get to spend Christmas day together. This is pretty freaking exciting. Although, I think after finally getting incredibly comfortable with my family and the new people nerves having worn off, we just might scare him with our slightly nuts and painfully happy festivities. Oh well.

Last week I was talking to him about our trip home and I was saying how he would get to go to the Christmas Café (just our table) and get breakfast and he said, “I don’t’ want to have to go to any Christmas Café. I just want to hang around the house.” Once I explained that he would be hanging around the house and would get to be served breakfast with my parents by Sister and I he was more agreeable. Although, I swear he knew the Christmas Café existed. I think he doesn’t listen to me sometimes. I then pictured him flying in and being accosted with Harry Connick Jr. singing “This Christmas” (cause it’s hilarious) and Sister draping him with tree decorating stuffs. HEHEHEHE. I’ll get pictures.

Plus, Hanukkah starts while I will be home. This means that I will NOT forget to light candles this year. Last year I had every intention of lighting my menorah. I took it out of the drawer got it set up nice and pretty and went to get the candles...get the candles…where were the candles? I spent the next eight days reminding myself to go to the store and buy candles. I failed completely. After the holiday break I returned to work and told my Jewish colleague of my failed menorah attempts. Amusingly enough she had candles but no menorah. That gave us a good chuckle. Tony should also enjoy lighting the menorah. Although he was raised Catholic, he has a strong affinity for all things Jewish. I think he knows more Yiddish than I do.

At this point all the presents are ordered and the planning is done. Well, most of the planning. I am having thoughts about the traditional Christmas Pizza. We usually do two big pies with different toppings. I will have to check it out with Sister because Christmas cooking has kind of become our thing but I think that we should do more, smaller pies this year, thus maximizing our flavor variations. I have all kinds of wondrous pizza ideas milling around in my head. A Mexican pizza with beans and salsa as the base, a pesto pizza like we had last year mmmmm, a caramelized onion and apple pizza with brie, a normal pizza, a wild mushroom pizza with some kind of delicious sauce. Oh, Christmas Pizza, why must you be so far away?

I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season and all the wonderful things that come with it. Hooray!

Monday, December 08, 2008

A IPOD SHUFFLE MEME CAUSE WHY NOT

1.Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! (I skipped any repeat artists in the spirit of variety)
4. Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the game from.

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
I Hear a Symphony- The Supremes
Whenever you’re near/I hear a symphony/A tender melody/Pulling me closer/Closer to your arms.
Apparently I am not only okay with whatever people are asking about, I am ecstatic about it. Maybe people just have really good taste and are only approaching me with awesome things.

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Western Eyes- Portishead
With western eyes and serpents breath/We lay our own conscience to rest/But I'm aching at the view/Yes I'm breaking at the scenes just like you
So I suppose this means that I sometimes do bad things and then I feel really bad about them later. Doesn’t everyone?

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
If you Don’t Get It The First Time Back Up and Try It Again- The JBs
The lyrics are pretty much the title, no need to retype that
Who wouldn’t like a guy who is both resilient and funky?

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
God- Tori Amos
God sometimes you just don’t come through/ Do you need a woman to look after you
Actually, I feel pretty good today. There was no need for this teenage angst to pop up here. Actually, there is pretty much never a need for this particular brand of teenage angst, I just can’t let it go.

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Stop Singing and Start Swinging- Malcolm X
Well this is a speech and, for a time, I was this militant (in theory) However, since we now have a Black president and OBVIOUSLY live in a post-racial America there will be no need for anything like this anymore…right???right??? UH….

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Murder Ink- Dr Dre
Uh, uh, for real/ You’ll fuck around and get killed
Uh, uh, I won’t be killing anything at all. I’m not as hard as I think I am and I certainly don’t think I’m the murdering type

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Small Man, Big Mouth- Minor threat
You laugh at a man when he tries/You're trying to make up for your size/To you life is a rivalry/ Keep a step ahead of me
Apparently my friends think I have a serious Napoleon complex, who knew? Oh, iPod shuffle, you reveal mysterious wonders sometimes

8.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
50ft Queenie- PJ Harvey
Hey I'm king of the world/You oughta hear my song/You come on and measure me/I'm fifty inches long
Well, I too seem to be obsessed with my height. I would have you know that I am no mere fifty inches long. I stand a proud seventy inches so there!

9. WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Hunting Bears- Radiohead
This is an instrumental piece. That is what they get for asking such a stupid question


10. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Boll Weevil- Presidents of the United States of America
Boll weevil why don’t you get out of your home/He said I’m comfortable here I don’t wanna move I don’t wanna leave/I said boll weevil get right out of your home
I have a few people that I could consider best friends. Out of all of them I am the one who is most likely to stay inside. I can’t say this one applies too much but it would if my best friend were the person who sent this to me cause she never goes out.

11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Sunshine Recorder- Boards of Canada
A beautiful place/a beautiful place/an eagle in your mind
I guess I really like him huh?

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Dueling Banjos- Primus
An easy groove. The notes are happy, even jolly. Then you think about Deliverance and everything is much worse. Much much worse.

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Beef Jerky- Cibo Mato
My weight is 300 pounds/My favorite is beef jerky/I’m a vagabond, I’m a vagabond/My mom says, you are kinky!
Well I most certainly do not want to be a 300lb kinky hobo

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
All Along the Watchtower- Jimi Hendrix
There must be some kind of way out of here/Said the joker to the thief/There is too much confusion/I can’t get no relief
This is like the exact opposite of what I think. It is an incredibly awesome song though so I’ll just go with that vibe

15. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Bridge over Troubled Water- Simon and Garfunkel
When you’re weary. Feeling Small/ When tears are in your eyes/ I'll dry them all
What can I say? My parents really really love me

16. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Derilict- Beck
Blow back derelict wind/Lay my soul in the foul of the air
I can find absolutely no way this song works. Lyrics, no. Tune, I would like to see Tony and I try to dance to this with our non-dancing asses

17. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Reeling- PJ Harvey
Wanna bathe in milk/ Eat grapes/ Robert DiNiro sit on my face
Uh, gross and completely inappropriate

18. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Memories of Jacqueline- Olivia Tremor Control
Right now is when we break the static/With our themes of liberation/Conquer all that we can
Yes, my hobby is to conquer all that I set out to conquer. The fact that I don’t try much of anything does somewhat hinder this hobby but I’m sticking to it

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Sir Duke- Stevie Wonder
Music is a world within itself/With a language we all understand/With an equal opportunity/For all to sing, dance and clap their hands
See, I am secretly the most talented musician/singer/songwriter that the world has ever seen but I can’t divulge my talent because the world just can’t handle my glory. Therefore, I fool everyone into thinking I have no instrumental talents and can’t carry a tune to save my life. I do write a pretty awesome song though, get a little whiff of this
Insideoutafied, I said insideoutified---YOU TURN ME
That's what I thought, you can't even handle the awesomeness.

20. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Mingusings- of Montreal
Sister tells you No, our shit is only gonna get better /I'll let ya know let ya know let ya know /I feel like the last time is gonna be /my final collapse
This obviously means that I have awesome friends and we help each other when the other is down

21. WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Let It Be- The Beatles
When I find myself in times of trouble/ Mother Mary comes to me/ Speaking words of wisdom/ Let it be
I swear I am not skipping any songs (except repeat artists), this is just too perfect. The worst thing that could happen is just something that you deal with. Let it be.

22. HOW WILL YOU DIE?
The Mariner’s Revenge- The Decemberists
We are two mariners/ Our ships sole survivors/ Trapped in the belly of a whale
I am going to be swallowed by a whale while on a mission of revenge. That is freaking badass

23. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Pattern Against User- At The Drive-in
Circus carny guarding/The gates of heaven/Like stuck in limbo abduction/Wormed our way through/Distant earth
I have absolutely no ideas what this means. I suppose it means I have no regrets?

24. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Get Me Away From Here I’m Dying- Belle & Sebastian
Oh, get me away from here I’m dying/ Play me a song to set me free/ No one writes them like they used to so it may as well be me
What is funny about this one is that the above lyrics used to always give me a chuckle so I guess that is another right on pick by Natapod

25. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
My Baby Loves the Secret Agent- The Detroit Cobras
I can’t get the lyrics for this one but I do know that it is about someone’s baby being in love with a secret agent. That would certainly make me cry

26. WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
(You Caught me) Smilin’- Sly and the Family Stone
In my pain/I'll be sane to take your hand
Well the song ends with that, I suppose it means that it would be smart for me to get married

27. DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Black Coffee- Tricky
I feel so lonely, haven’t slept a wink/I walk the floor, and watch the door/And in between I drink black coffee.
I will take this as a resounding NO. Or, maybe I have a coffee drinking stalker, and that is a very scary thought

28. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
What’s Mine is Yours- Sleater-Kinney
Sit down, honey, let's kill some time/Rest you head on this heart of mine/Tell me, honey, cause you look so blue/Just how did they, did they get to you?
I guess I wouldn’t’ change anything, maybe just help the past me through some of the hard times and maybe leave her with a tip or two on how to make them not quite so hard

29. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Tunneling Through The Guy- Man Man
Girlfriend, I know/I can smell your blood/you're gonna do bad things tonight
Well this sounds like something is really painful, in fact, nothing hurts at all right now except for the fact that my cell phone broke but that will be fixed soon enough

30. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Return to Hot Chicken- Yo La Tengo
Another instrumental one, and that is that