Thursday, August 31, 2006


Now get your goofy ass off the runway! Angela of the horrid rosettes is finally off Project Runway. I really enjoyed watching her fly all the way to Paris only to have to get on the plane and fly directly home. HAHAHA. That's bogus though, really. At least on ANTM they give them a night in the new exotic location before shipping them home. Oh well. Seriously though, that outfit was a complete mess. She put rosette flowers on her ass. I mean who is she kidding? Not on a pocket on her ass, just as ass decoration. That is never cute. Not only was the outfit a mess but the accessories were a mess too. Did anyone see those shoes? Blah. Honestly I was pretty sure Kane was going home, he looked like Gay Elvis on Meth but I like him so whatever. I don't know what he was thinking though. Then he had the nerve to wear a bling belt that said Kayne. I mean that is not only years late, it was never cool in the first place. Jeffrey finally won a challenge, and it was 100% deserved. I was very happy for him. He looked fantastic and the fact that he pulled that outfit together in one day just amazed me. Michael did a great job also, his outfit really worked for him. As much as the judges didn't like Uli's outfit I would have worn it in a minute. I really like her style. Laura, well it was Laura. I don't like her. The dress was really nice though. I would have worn it too. Not those shoes though. Boring, blah.

Project Runway in Paris promises to be excellent. I am looking forward to the next few weeks very much. I mean it isn't really the type of show where location matters all that much since most of it is shot at their workstations but change is always good. The people on Blogging Project Runway can stop complaining about seeing the same Mandy Moore poster. Maybe they moved it to Paris though. That would be hilarious.

Odd sidebar moment. On the way to work I see a homeless woman in her usual panhandling spot, not unusual, except today she had an iPod Nano. Maybe it was a gift?

On another side note it is my two-year anniversary with Tony. Horary for that! We don't really know when the exact date is so we do it like Thanksgiving, the last Thursday in August. I suppose we could figure the exact date out from that but this is more fun.

Let's play some happy love music for us. Today I will cheat and skip songs because I don't want to write about "Gimmie That Nut" for our anniversary, not that it came on but it could.

Asleep and Dreaming, Magnetic Fields- Ok I skipped 35 songs to get to one that I thought was worth anything. It would have been a bad day for the shuffle game. This song is wonderfully sickening and mushy though. Although I never see him asleep and dreaming (unless I somehow get home when he is already asleep which is rare) but apparently he sees me asleep and dreaming all the time AAAWW how sweet (puke puke gross. Sorry about that disgusting display of love)

Rainbows, Madvillian- Although this is not a sappy song in any way we really love the Madvilliany album so it works.

Amorino, Isobel Campbell- This song is just beautiful. We really like this album too. We like it so much that we went to an Isobel Campbell concert not that long ago. Unfortunately, her new album is nothing like this one. It is mostly weird folkish horrid music. Not that I don't like folk music, I do, this was just horrible. She didn't play a single song from the first album. She cleared out most of the room. We stayed because we kept thinking it would get better. It didn't.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006


I work across the street from two Chicago landmarks. One is the Chicago Cultural Center a beautiful building that was once the library. The other is Marshall Field's on State Street. As some of you know, Field's has been purchased by the May company and is going to become a Macy's any day now. They have been working like mad on this transformation. When I first heard the news I was rather apathetic. Although I spend more time in that store than is good for any human (shopping, eating lunch, browsing, walking to the train) I was not one of those people petitioning for the store to remain how it was. I kind of thought it was getting its comeuppance.

See, I am from Minneapolis. In Minneapolis we had this store called Dayton's. Dayton's was fantastic. Owned by the Dayton family who still lived locally it was classy, fashionable, and altogether wonderful. Then it was bought by Marshall Field's and was soon no more. People wanted them to change all the stores but keep the flagship Downtown Minneapolis store as Dayton's for history's sake. They didn't do that. People said the same thing about Marshall Field's on State. May didn't do that either. I figure you take over one city's history yours gets taken over as well. Karma. So I was one of the few people who didn't seem to care about the take-over. Not that there weren't many others who didn't care, it just seemed like I cared less to me.

Recently I have become somewhat saddened by this change. Primarily I am bummed that there are all kinds of sales going on and I am broke and can't partake in them. I haven't even ventured to the shoe department because I know I will see some deals and go home and cry. It isn't worth it. Secondly, I think the emerald green and white of Field's is a rather classy color combination while the Red and Black of Macy's is colder, more corporate. Essentially my fashion sense is slightly offended. Thirdly, well there really isn't a thirdly. Macy's is a fine store in its own right and I am sure that I will spend just as much time there as I have at Field's. I have just kind of shrugged it off and kept moving

This is why I was utterly shocked and amazed this morning that as I came out of the subway and saw a Macy's awning going up that I felt a deep sadness in my innards. I truly thought I didn’t care. Apparently I do. I don't know why I care, I didn't expect to, but I do. That pisses me off. What right does that store have to make me feel sad? None. I am thinking that things will slowly change the rest of this week and when I come back to work on Tuesday the 5th Field's will be no more. I won't even get one good-bye purchase. Maybe that's what gets me. The era ends and I won't be there to celebrate all the good times we had together. Maybe I'll go and have one last lunch in the cafeteria downstairs. They have a mean creamed spinach.

And now, an ode to Field's

Head Over Heels, Tears For Fears- Ok this Tears For Fears obsession of my shuffle function has to cease. I am being incorrectly represented. Today though, it works. Field's I am head over heels for you.

The Day The Niggaz Took Over, Dr. Dre- I am going to make this relevant somehow. Well Macy's colors are black and red right, the "guns go click the guns go bang" and the red starts flowing. As for the black...well it's too obvious and as much as I love racism I'm not going to say it. Oh, speaking of racism, on a blog that I unfortunately don't recall so I can't give it proper credit I saw this wonderfully racist ad for the Baylor College football team. You should look at it. It is great for laughs.

To Be With You, Mr. Big- Well this is just about the best song that could have possibly come on at this moment. I am the one who wants to be with Marshall Field's I only wish the lyrics were "waited on a line of green and white" so that it would be utterly perfect. Many people would be totally embarrassed by this song. While it is one of my many guilty pleasures I am not going to deny that I love this song. LOVE LOVE LOVE! Monica, you know you love it too

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


As the Interim Volunteer Services Director I have to interact with potential volunteers. Most of the time these are business professionals sometimes they are not. Before today, I met one person who I did not really want to become a volunteer. She only wanted to volunteer because she wants to start a program such as ours on her own with the young people she mentors through her church group. Typically I would be fine with that. This woman, however, should not be teaching anyone how to find work. She looked like one of the people who did not successfully complete our program 20 years ago. Once when she came to observe one of the classes she brought her son. I'm not kidding. She walked in here in an outfit that could only have been from Rainbow, Pay-half, Wet Seal or some other awful store that peddles so called fashion to the creatively challenged (for those of you who don't know what these places are is think the cheapest Baby Phat knock-offs imaginable), fake gold chains, huge earrings that may as well have had her name in them, and brought her 5 year old to sit in on a class. I wanted to turn her right out the door but I was too astonished to know what to say. Did I mention she can't speak anything approximating proper English? Now I am not saying I always converse in a perfectly correct manner (read blog) but I can if I need to. I don't think that is a possibility for this woman.

I thought she was a new low-point in a volunteer until today. Mary at the front desk called me and told me someone was here that was interested in volunteering. I went out to do my thing. This woman looked totally normal, then she began to speak. As I am walking her to my office she is telling me she wants to volunteer in the arts (we are an employment agency). As we sit, I begin to tell her about our volunteer opportunities, which consist of teaching parts of our 8-day pre-employment workshop. She cuts me off to mention how she wants to volunteer as an office assistant and do work that is a little above data-entry. I tell her, again, that we don't really have volunteer opportunities like that. She said she would be interested in whatever could get her foot in the door so I told her about what we did have. When I talked about strengths and weaknesses class she said "that is good because it is something I work with. I want to be a gospel singer. A staple in the gospel world for years and years. I'm a budding musician". I realize that I can't describe/write this woman's speech pattern correctly but suffice to say either she thought I had sub-par intelligence or she did have sub-par intelligence. She really loved calling me Miss. Daniels even though I told her a good 5 times that Natalie is fine. I hate Miss. Daniels. She asked me about internships, I mentioned those were for college students and asked if she was in school "Not now, but I could be," she told me. I explained that our interns do this for college credit and are typically psychology students in their Sr. year. "Oh, that sounds interesting" she replied, "can I have an application?" I was floored at this point. She then told me she really wanted to bypass volunteering and join our board. Who is she kidding? I politely told her that our board does a lot of fundraising and their yearly donations are in the 10k plus a year range, which may or may not be true it probably depends on the board member, and if that was something she was in a position to do maybe we could talk about it. "Maybe after I get my music career going".

I must briefly comment on her Volunteer Application. Under employer she put Chicago Park District-pending arts and crafts teacher's assistant. Under school she put KKC- one of the Chicago city colleges graduation summer 06. Now you would think if that was true she would have mentioned just finishing when we were talking about school. Her last work experience was in '99. I am guessing she has been in some kind of treatment facility since then (that wasn't nice Natalie) and is now an outpatient or something.

Things went on like this for a good 30+ minutes. I was mentally exhausted. She kept repeating everything I told her but in a way that made no sense. She kept asking me questions that made no sense based on what I had already told her and were totally of topic. I am completely exhausted. She closed things out by asking me "how can I transfer myself to other things here, like transferable skills, that’s one of the classes, I like this". That is really what she said. I kind of feel like a bad person writing about her but man, it really blew my mind. I was very polite to her and as helpful as I could possibly be so I guess I am not a bad person. Maybe she won't follow up.

I had to come back and add this after speaking to my mother. She said people may not understand that this person was seriously a problem and may just think I am an asshole. I can be an asshole, in this situation this is not the case. In my talking about the first woman who was a bad dresser, poor speaker, and brought her child maybe I am an ass. After this crazy woman left I asked the receptionist if it was just me or if she was nuts. The receptionist cracked up and said she was glad I was free at the time to take the crazy lady or else she would have been stuck talking to this lady. She agreed that she is probably an outpatient somewhere. So in case I have not been detailed enough about how truly strange this person was. Believe me, she was nuts.

I am hoping that music will clear my mind

Get Into The Groove, Madonna- This is funny because I watched Desperately Seeking Susan last night. Actually I fell asleep to it but Tony watched it. We are really scraping the bottom of the On Demand barrel.

Boogie In Your Butt, Eddie Murphy- This is the theme song of my family and apparently is my parent's "song". Shoshana (sis) had only heard this song talked about in the family until April this year when I played the song for her. She nearly had an aneurysm. Then when I went home we played it for the fam and Mom did the bump and was captured on the digital camera in film version. She may have deleted it by now. If she hadn't she probably will after reading this.

Ain't No Sunshine, Bill withers- This is easily one of my favorite songs that I forget about. It is so incredibly good. In "Streetfight" a.k.a "Coonskin" there is a scene with Brer Bear walking down the street all depressed because he was no longer friends with Brer Rabbit. If anyone likes racism and Ralph Bakshi I highly recommend this film. If not, you probably shouldn't see it.

Monday, August 28, 2006


Not the end of anything important don't anyone worry, just the end of this horrible "two-week" interim job that I have been doing since July 1. I was told on Friday that the new Volunteer Services Director would b starting Sept 1. In my utter excitement I didn't ask if that was the real Sept 1 being Friday or the fake Sept 1 being Tuesday the 5th. I hope it is on Friday. If this new person comes in on Friday I will be able to train them Fri, Tues, and if need be Wed next week and then I will be done. I will be on vacation Thursday and Friday, which is nice because I can "relax" before starting my real job as the Customized Training Coordinator. I think that is an awesome title. I was going to be the Customized Training Instructor (nowhere near as cool) but since my last title had coordinator in it I petitioned to have the new one include that as well. I mean I didn't want to look demoted. In case I change my mind about being an English Teacher (which I won't) I can be a training person in some fab clothing store. They make really good money.

Anyway, enough about that. My shirt is dirty. I thought I looked really cute today (and I do) but I recently discovered my shirt is dirty. Not just a little dirty, really really dirty. I removed my jacket when I went to the bathroom (I just think it is not right to pee in a blazer, sweater, etc. Sorry if that is too much information) and while washing my hands looked in the mirror at a horribly dirty shirt. I picked it out of my closet this morning. I am NOT in the habit of putting dirty clothes in the closet, so I assumed it was fine. I generally take about 1-3 minutes getting dressed in the morning. If I go over 1 minute it is because I can't find something. I am really good at getting ready to leave the house. I typically take 30 min from bed to door. So my white shirt has all kinds of dirty places on it. I don't think people will really notice since my jacket is back on, but I know. I don't even know if this shirt can make it to clean again. Maybe that is what happened. I washed it but something horrible had occurred and it was just more than the detergent could handle. I then put it in the closet assuming it was clean. Boo me. I like this shirt too. I hope it can be saved. I just went outside with a co-worker for a smoke and it is a torrential downpour. I am drenched. I have to teach a class in 30 minutes. I want to take off my soaked jacket. My shirt is dirty.

This morning on the train I saw the lady. She saw me coming and gave me a bad look. I was with Tony so she was not in danger. I did catch her steal another evil look at me once she had got settled in the single seat. Now why would she do that? I was so obviously not paying her any mind. Maybe she noticed me nudging Tony and saying that’s her that’s her and pointing at her with my umbrella. Maybe she heard Tony call her a nasty name. All I know is that she sucks.

This weekend I had planned to make a fort. You know, with sheets and chairs and stuff. It was going to go over my couch and provide a wonderful place to hide. I like to be covered. I constructed canopies over my beds in my dorm rooms Jr. and Sr. year. I really liked the one from Jr. year but all my friends disrespected it and sat on it so it became very busted. I still love you though guys. The one Sr. year did not hang down to the bed so it never fell down. The evil fire hazard people made me take it down along with the beaded curtain going into our alcove, the black paper on the walls and the wonderful “Wall o’ Heath”. Tragic.

I want to briefly talk Emmy's. I don't really care about most of it. I like to see the dresses. I was, as I expected to be, disappointed. Jeremy Piven got what he deserved with Entourage (sorry Friend Monica I know you are anti but you have to give it up for Ari Gold). I think that was all that was really well deserved. Oh and Mariska Hargitay for SVU. I love that show. Alan Alda is cool so I can’t begrudge him. Or the Daily Show although I would have liked to see it go to Colbert because I have a crush on him weird ear and all. Now for the tragedy, AMAZING RACE???? Does anyone even watch that show? It beat Project Runway. Everyone knows Project Runway is the greatest reality show ever created. Now while I can deal with Colbert losing to Stewart I cannot abide him losing to Barry Manilow. That made me want to puke. Manilow is not sexy. Most people will tell me that Stephen Colbert is also not sexy. They are wrong.

As homage to Stephen I hope some glorious songs come on today

No Surprises, Radiohead- well as I mentioned there were a lot of surprises for Stephen, like people think Barry Manilow deserves an award and he doesn't. This song is made just for him and those bruises that won't heal.

Gypsy, Stevie Nicks- This song sucks. I don't have any idea why it is on my iPod. One thing that I don't like about the iPod is that you can't delete songs unless it is attached to the computer. I don't know why I have this song. I don't think Monica would have put it on my computer and I am sure Tony didn't and I am pretty sure I didn't. I have a gremlin putting horrible music on my computer.

Beef Jerky, Cibo Matto- I have nothing but good things to say about this band. This song is almost as funny as "I'm Sorry That I Got Fat"

Friday, August 25, 2006


What started out as me watching a show just because the title was really fun to say turned into a hour of realization and amazement. On what I think was the discovery channel there was a show called Humanzee about a chimp named Oliver who was strangely human. I put it on the DVR because I had to watch Who Wants To Be A Superhero (good-bye Major Victory, I miss you already here's to hopes of a Fat Mama victory because Feedback scares me) and as soon as it was over I turned to Tony and said HUMANZEE HUMANZEE. Maybe people other than me have heard of this Oliver. Apparently he is like 47 years old and was a big star back in the day. This guy looks like a chimp, kinda, but walks upright. Big deal you say, all the monkeys can walk. While that is true, they can't walk for long without going knuckles down. Oliver just strolls around and shakes people warmly by the hand I tried to add a picture but it didn't work cause I am a lame but there is a nice article about Oliver on Wikipedia and you can see more. Wow I made a link, I hope it works. It was thought that maybe Oliver was a human-chimp hybrid but after decades of debate it was discovered that he is a chimp but has an odd DNA sequencing pattern. Maybe he is like some kind of evolutionary intermediary creature. Anyway, he was nice.

However, Oliver was not the only thing of interest in the Humanzee show. Possibly more interesting was the Liger. I assume everyone has seen Napoleon Dynamite and knows that the Liger is "only like his favorite animal". I did not know that a Liger was real. Apparently they are not only real but they are HUGE! The growth regulating gene is on the male lion and the female tiger (or vice versa) and they breed them the way that there ends up being no growth regulating gene. The liger eats like 2-3 times as much meat as either the lion or the tiger does. The liger was cute and fat. Who knew?

Of course I have to mention that Pluto is certainly no longer a planet. I knew it was smarter to make it a non-planet than to admit all those other non-planets to planet status.

Finally, while watching the Today show this morning before work (I know its lame but sometimes fascinating things happen) I learned that Jesus is back. This evangelical guy from Puerto Rico is running around saying that he is the second coming. He is also saying that sin is not real, the devil doesn't exist, and prayer doesn't help anything. The guy doesn't sound all that bad. Apparently people give him a lot of money but he certainly doesn't require it so, whatever.

Maybe our musical choices today will have divine inspiration.

Sour Times, Portishead- While back in the 90s I think many people I knew considered Portishead as a group to have reached the status of a minor deity I may not go that far. I am always happy to hear their wonderful music. I just kind of wish it hadn't been this song. It's really good and all but I am kind of over it. I mean it has been a long time.

A Collection Of Poems About Water, Of Montreal- I think that "The Gay Parade" is essentially my favorite album right now. It makes me incredibly happy. I can't even let a tiny sour look come on my face when this is on. I love all songs on the album, a very rare occurrence. It just flows so perfectly. It reminds me of bedtime stories I would tell people about magic and wonder and goofiness.

Rush Hour, Ani Difranco- This song kills me. It is so incredibly beautiful and sad. I think of all those I mentioned today this has the touch of the divine. Not that I am saying it's a religious song, because it isn't, but it just speaks to humanity and primal emotion. Awesome.

Thursday, August 24, 2006


As it is once again Thursday, I of course have to put up my weekly Project Runway post. This week's episode was rather disappointing. I didn't like any of the designs very much and it was all together boring. I was also incredibly disappointed on how poorly these typically awesome designers did with large women. I know that what looks good on their typical models is not going to look good on these large mothers they had to deal with but a designer should at least know how to dress every type of body. I mean they had the measurements. Uli was the only one who had a larger woman to work with and didn't put her in a complete tent. It was still a little more fabric than I would have used but hey, it was ok. Maybe that's because she is the only woman that had a big model to work with. She at least tried to elongate and slim the body the boys just said let's layer a bunch of fabric on this big woman. Last I checked, you generally want to keep things with less layers to slim someone but maybe that is just me.

I was convinced that Jeffrey was going home. Although he made the most hideous outfit I had ever seen, he should have had immunity from the garbage challenge the week before so I think it was only fair that he did not get the boot. I love Robert as a person but I have not been at all inspired by anything he has designed so, whatever I suppose. Now, Angela's mother, while correct in a way, was a complete ass. Jeffrey was also an ass. When she asked for a particular color scheme and it didn't work out in the store she should have understood. Jeffrey also should have explained what happened better by saying "the dark green's they had weren't a real match" rather than saying "the dark green didn't match" because you got the idea she liked to pair dark purple and dark green and he hurt her feelings by saying she had no idea how to match clothes. He could have explained his choices better and not had attitude. However, he did try and Angela's mother could have been just a bit nicer to him. I really wish that Angela's mother and Jeffrey's mother had got in an all out brawl. That may have made the episode more entertaining.

I was incredibly happy that Vincent won the challenge. I think I may be the only person on the planet who loves Vincent's insane antics but he is just great to me. He is completely nuts and I just want to pat his crazy little head. Maybe it was because he was designing for a mother that his slightly 80s ways worked but he was just so happy and truly did a great job.

Basically, I waited all week for Wednesday to come and, when it did, I was greeted with one of the dullest hours of TV I had seen in ages. My TV night was slightly redeemed when Colbert devoted an episode to the "crumbbelievability" of Pop Culture but not entirely. I truly hope that next weeks episode returns to the caliber of TV entertainment I have grown accustomed to.

Maybe musical entertainment will be more fulfilling.

Thriller, Michael Jackson- Well I suppose you don't get much more entertaining than Thriller. I actually enjoy all the bad movies and weddings that contain a thriller segment. It is always good for a laugh. For some background, Thriller was my favorite record when I was 5. Our house was robbed and the stereo was stolen. My Thriller album was on the record player. I had a fit. My fantastic parents got me a new Thriller album right away. I had nothing to play this album on but I had it and I was happy.

Temporary Like Achilles, Bob Dylan- I think Blonde on Blonde is one of the greatest albums there is. I love the bluesy lilting stylings and basically it makes me miss a lot of wonderful people.

Monolith, The Beta Band- Most people I know really like that song by The Beta Band that is in High Fidelity (great movie) and are not really fans of their other music. Maybe the things I downloaded are particularly and unusually good but I really enjoy it. It makes me smile and bop my head. I really like any music I can bop my head to. I am kind of easy to please that way. Then again, I wonder if I have just never hard this before. It sucks. It is like some remake of Revolution 9.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006


Well I figured I covered one of the most controversial topics out there yesterday so why not tackle another one today. I don't think this one is as potentially offensive though. The topic today will be religion.

I am fascinated with religion almost as much as I am fascinated by racism. However, I am by no means as educated about religion. I actually find it somewhat scary. Don't get me wrong I love to gather around the Christmas tree and the seder plate when the time comes but I can count the times I have been to a religious edifice for something other than a wedding, funeral, bar or bat mitzvah, or tour on one hand. I think I only need one finger but I am probably leaving something out. Needles to say, it is obvious that I don't much go for organized religion.

The one class I took that dealt with the subject "The Birth of Europe" was utterly fascinating. Although it was not the first time I had read the Bible (for pure scholarship mind you), it was he first time I got to discuss it in a proper forum. I secretly want to go to Bible study because I find it fascinating but all the hard-core-religious people around me would give me the heebie-jeebies. I don't knock anyone's beliefs. Actually I think my life might be better if I had more faith. It seems really comforting to have something like that to turn to. I just can't roll like that. I ask far too many questions and doubt entirely too much of what people have to say.

In a way, I feel that religion is the cause of an abnormal amount of the world's suffering (as well as its joys) and getting mixed up in something like that says trouble to me. One of the things that I really remember from my class is the story of Abraham. If you really look at it, he is the source of 3 of the world's major religions, Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. Now, my scholarship on this subject was rather superficial compared to that of much of my study but, if I remember correctly, the Islamic faith has Abraham taking Ishmael up the mountain to be sacrificed rather than Isaac, thus making him the divinely chosen son and therefore making Islam the "chosen" religion. There are some texts that included a third party in the story, a servant whose name I can't remember but apparently appears later on in the New Testament and is seen as predicting the rise of Christianity (or something like that). However, since those three religions share so much of the basic back-story, why is all the hatred and fighting necessary between those groups today.

Although I am technically Jewish, as it follows the maternal line, I obviously am not immersed in the culture. Yet, when I talk to members of my family who are more traditionally Jewish and ask them what the tenet of the faith is they basically tell me that you are simply supposed to be good to people. I can't really front on that one. Plus they throw a great party. I try and live my life by being good to people. I can't say that I always succeed. I have been a downright horrible person at times. But I do try.

Maybe that is my problem with religions that focus on good people going one place and bad people going another. I mean that is so subjective. Then again, who better than God to be subjective about such things. I just don't think it can be that simple. If there is some final judgment won't they look on what is in your heart rather than all the mistakes you have made over the course of life. Life is hard and there are no training wheels. Isn't that the right thing to do?

Over the years, people have asked me if I am an atheist. At times, I wrongly though that I was. It's not that I don't believe I simply don't know what to believe in. I have a very hard time with a being sitting up there watching everything. It just doesn't seem logical to me. I feel it has to be something more internal. What makes sense to me is some kind of vital life force that connects everyone and everything and influences our sense of morality and judgment. I guess if you have to put a label on it I would fall into the Agnostic category.

Is it hypocritical to feel this way and still enjoy religious holidays? I don't think so. I think that whatever this life force is wants us to gather and to love and to enjoy each other. I think that is truly the divine plan.

The divine always appears in music. Let's listen to some.

Yo Mamma, Pharcyde- Uh, not divine. Maybe this belonged on yesterday's post. This reminds me of an episode of Benson when Clayton and Benson learned they were related and had a battle of the dozens to decide who would inherit the family fortune. Benson whuped Clayton's ass all over the kitchen.

Punky Brewster Theme Song- What a sweet show. I wanted to be just like Punky. The only thing I think we have in common is big boobs, and she got rid of hers.

Come On Home, Franz Ferdinand- I remember watching Degrassi on the N and seeing the video for Take Me Out and telling Monica how great it was with stomping feet all over the place. She had no idea what I was talking about until she saw it and then she got it. We loved us some Take Me Out. Unfortunately for Franz Ferdinand, the whole album kind of sounds like Take Me Out but not as good. I don't hate it, it has a good beat and you can dance to it.

Monday, August 21, 2006


Let me make a disclaimer about this post. If you are easily offended and/or overly PC you might be slightly uncomfortable. If not, you still might be. I, however, love racism.

There isn't much about racism that can shock me. I find it incredibly fascinating. I love the history of racism, the jokes focused on racism, the conclusions people draw because of racism, I essentially majored in racism in college but this weekend something about racism surprised me. I watched CSA: Confederate States of America on Saturday. I realize that to other lovers of racism I am way behind on this one. However, I went to see it the day after it closed and it just came out on video so give me a break. I was, unfortunately, somewhat disappointed. I of course found it hilarious but it almost seemed like one long and not all that creative Chapelle sketch from the wonderfully racist first season. I think the commercials were my favorite part. While watching this film and since I claim myself as a somewhat of a (to borrow a phrase from "Bamboozled") Niggerologist I recognized some of the products as being very familiar and probably real. Coon's Chicken I knew I had seen before. I couldn't dispute the plethora of "Sambo" products throughout history. I even had a slight suspicion that Goldy and Dusty were from the halls of racist cleaning products (and man were there a lot of those back in the day). However, at the end of the film when they told us which products were real I was shocked and appalled at the reality of "Nigger Hair Cigarettes". Now, if it had been "Nigger Cigarettes" I probably wouldn't have been that surprised. Those exist today although they are now called Kools or Newports but throw that Hair in there and you have a serious problem. I would think that the name would just not be conducive to sales. Maybe that is why they changed the name to "Bigger Hair Cigarettes," although the ruby lipped Afro wearing lady still graced the box. My thing is this, while it feeds and further educates my sense of history, my sense of marketing was strongly offended. Typically when racism was used in Marketing it had a point. Coon's Chicken makes sense. We all know black people love chicken. Sambo motor oil, well the oil is black and we all know how black a Sambo is so it follows. Plus, I’m sure that plenty of chauffeurs had to change motor oil. Any cleaning product with black people makes sense because black folks are always cleaning up other people's houses. Let’s not forget the Japanese Black Man condoms (that my Dad so lovingly sent me a link to a link I unfortunately no longer have because it would give laughs to the world) and I won't go itno why this one makes sense. Racism in advertising is alive and well today in obvious and subtle forms. However, let me get to the point. Who wants to smoke cigarettes that have anything to do with hair? Do you know how bad burning hair smells? It's not good! I have finally been knocked down slapped around and shocked by racism. This is obviously a case of racism for the sake of racism and as a detriment to the marketing of a product. Kudos to "Niggerhair Cigarettes" for that amazing feat.

On a more non-offensive note. I would like to apologize to the Minnesota Vikings. They played quite well last night. They also won a game that I didn't see. They still looked like a bunch of raging queens in those uniforms though.

I put some new (well old but new to me) music on my iPod over the weekend; let's see if it will grace us with its presence.

Run For Your Life, The Beatles- This has been with me FOREVER. I love The Beatles. I have always liked this song very much however; it is particularly sick and twisted and makes me think that maybe they liked to beat women. I'll instead just say that this song came from a hidden desire to beat women and that they never really would. Also, I thought that maybe I was having a problem with my sound because I sounded like shit. Then I realized that because it is an old record they did cool things like put different tracks on different sides of your head and since I only listen with one ear because I am "working" it sounded funny.

Township Rebellion, Rage Against The Machine- This rules. It is so 90s and man, it just rocks you know. Rage really puts it down. They tell it like it is. "When ignorance reigns life is lost". This album is oddly relevant today...

Christiansands, Tricky- This song is hot. It makes me want to go home right now. It also reminds me of Jenna and Roxanne. It is rare to say those names in the same breath anymore but they loved them some Tricky and this song in particular. It also reminds me of “RisingSon” and Friend. We loved that song like Roxanne and Jenna loved this one. That song is hot.

Friday, August 18, 2006


I typically write about absolutely nothing. Today I want to go with the big picture, space. I used to really like space. I liked to go to the science museum and eat astronaut ice cream (even though it was pretty foamy and disgusting). I liked to think about traveling through the stars at fantastic speeds and discovering new humanoid creatures. In case anyone didn't already guess I grew up on Star Trek and Dr. Who. As I grew older, I lost a lot of interest in what was out there. I instead favored what was right in front of me. There is plenty to see on our own planet and, frankly, most of the other ones seem pretty boring. I wouldn't be surprised if in a few generations we are living on the moon or some other crazy seeming planet, since ours seems to be doomed in so many ways, but let's leave that alone for a while.

What interests me is these new planets they have found. Charon (isn't he the guy that rows the boat over the river Styx?), Ceres, and 2003 UB313 (which I have heard is also known as Xena after the Warrior Princess and reminds me of Asteroid B6-12) seem nothing like what I think of as a planet. I realize that people expanded the definition so that Pluto could remain a planet but who cares. Pluto is a cartoon dog. None of this really matters much to me in the long run. Yet, I think it makes more sense to erase one planet than to add three more. Think of all the textbooks. American schools are strapped for cash as it is. Now our inner city-youth won't only have outdated books they will be unaware of three planets. That is pretty big stuff. Wouldn't it be easier to keep the old books and tell kids "Oh, Pluto is just a big icy ball that is not really a planet," rather than having to print new books to include the three new planets and explain about why a planet was named after a warrior princess. It will be so hard for old people to help kids with their homework now that there are new planets. All the old solar system mobiles hanging throughout elementary school science rooms will have to be redone completely instead of simply removing a ball. It just doesn't seem practical. I'm no astronomer, but to me, a planet should be somewhere where you can land and take a stroll, provided you have the proper gear. I know some of the other planets we have now can't handle this but maybe they shouldn't be planets either. It's our definition; let's only call something a planet if we can build a domed earth-like city upon it. It will be much less for us to remember.

One thing I am good at remembering is song lyrics. Let's see what we have today.

If You Want To Sing Out, Cat Stevens- AAAHHH Harold and Maude. I don't know if this is really the name of this song but it makes sense to me and that's what it is called in my iPod. I love this song and I love this movie. Love, depression, death=a huge celebration of life and all its glory.

Philosophy, Ben Folds Five- I really liked this song when I first heard it. It kept me upbeat and feeling like as long as I had my philosophy people could think or say whatever they wanted because I was secure. My little sister then pointed out that I should really listen to all the words because this song is about a penis. A penis referred to as "my philosophy" I was much less inspired. I don't have a "philosophy".

I Second That Emotion, Smokey Robinson- Man can I sing to this one. I want to do dances in a line with other people. Although the temptations are really the ones for such dancing I'll take this as a close second. I love Motown. I think it was some of the first music that I truly learned. I liked to make up choreography to various songs in the living room. I particularly am fond of the "Shop Around" dance that involves me walking like a duck while pushing an imaginary shopping cart and putting things in it.

Thursday, August 17, 2006


Ok, first order of business today is that I won the Train War and, Man, was that lady pissed. See I am always there before her, and I slid slightly to the left like I planned to. I was perfectly positioned for the train door. I saw her slinky little shadow behind me trying to edge in from the right (she was really trying) but I stood my ground and claimed my space and easily sauntered straight back to the one seater. She have me a really evil look and I gave her a very smug one. Part of me believes that whoever has been standing on the platform longer should technically get their pick of the train. I know this never happens and I often get right in front of people who I know have been there longer but in her case she should yield to me. When someone eventually sat next to her she looked even more pissed. It was not a nasty person whatsoever, he was very clean cut and seemed to keep to his side of the seat. She, however, kept looking him up and down like a hungry lion. Wouldn’t it be funny if she were out there somewhere blogging about how I stole her seat? That would really make me smile.

Second order of business for today is the “Lunch n’ Learn”. How cute is that? It means just what it says, people have lunch and someone learns em. Today the one learnin’ em will be me. I can’t believe I am still in this stupid job I was supposed to have temporarily for two weeks. So I am going to speak to the “Women’s Development Council” at an Insurance company about how they can get involved. YIPPIE! I hate things like this. I would rather be lunchin’ than learnin’. I am not really the hugest fan of speaking in front of large groups. I do, however really want to be a teacher. I don’t see them as the same thing though. I love teaching the youth. I do not want to learn the Women’s Development Council. A room full of suits looking for ways to give back to the community kind of makes me ill. I mean it shouldn’t because maybe a few of them genuinely care and want to give back to the community but really, does anyone think they do it because they really want to? Isn’t it more that they do it because they sound cool talking to their friends about how they help the low-income youth? I find it very ironic that while 98% of our volunteers work somewhere that has entry-level jobs like the mailroom, receptionist, etc, that they do not hire our youth. Something is incongruous there don’t you think? They will give them practice, tell me how great they all are, even raise money for them, but they don’t seem to want them working for their company. Oh well. I spent an hour yesterday sticking little labels with my name on the old Volunteer Services Directors business cards so that I could pass something out to these ladies. It is so ghetto. I mean I understand that temporary people at a non-profit don’t get business cards but then you shouldn’t expect me to go do Lunch n’ Learns.

Final order of business for today, being that it is Thursday, is Project Runway. Yesterday’s episode was a true bummer for me. I want to punch Laura in the face. Granted she makes ok things, but how many of the same dress is she going to make and have the judges love it? She is one smug bitch. Then, as much as I ADORE Michael, Jeffrey’s outfit was volumes better. I mean he was the only one whose dress moved like it wasn’t made out of garbage. Oh, the challenge was to make dresses out of garbage by the way. Then to kick off poor Allison sucked. There was really no other option, at this point everyone is good and I like all of them, except Laura who was certainly not getting kicked off yesterday. It was between Allison and Vincent. I LOVE Vincent. He is neurotic, insane, and designs odd things but I love him because he entertains me. Is he a better designer than Allison? Yesterday he was. In general, probably not so much.

Oh, I guess there is one more order of business, the shuffle game.

Get Crunked (Chopped & Screwed), Lil’ Flip- Ok Chopped and Screwed music is a weakness of mine. I find it utterly ridiculous. Music made in particular for people who are high on cough syrup is a concept too genius to ignore. Plus, lines like “She a HOHOHO He a HOHOHO buck buck she a HOHOHO” is priceless. Sometimes I like to get the regular version of a song and the chopped and screwed version and compare them. My favorite instance of this is Big Moe’s Barre Baby. After listening to the Chopped & Screwed version the regular one sounds like it is sung by Alvin, Simon, and Theodore

Guilty Conscience, Eminem- Sophomore year all over again. Eminem, Friend, Jackie, and the gravity bong. UH OH. I shouldn’t be posting such things. Oh well, that was all in the past.

Boom Boom, The Yardbirds- To round off a day of particularly crappy music I am glad something like this came on. The Yardbirds RULE. It’s all bluesy and British and FAB. I dig baby, dig.

Ok this was so "relevant" that I had to log on post Lunch n' Learn. While I was speaking this lady took a sandwich out of a bag to eat for lunch. It was a perfectly packaged sandwich. She had bread and meats like most sandwiches but atop the bread she had layered two lettuce, tomato, lettuce stacks that she then slid into each half of her sandwich. Why had I never thought of that? Kudos to that lady!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006


I love food. I really like sandwiches. I think there is a serious art to the sandwich that many people ignore. Everyone knows the bread is important but few think about the proper layering that goes into a sandwich. You want to make sure things don't slide around too much. This can be difficult. I happen to be a vegetarian. I eat sandwiches full of things that slide around. Layering is very important. The most important thing I have learned is to isolate the tomato. If you keep your tomato between something like lettuce or sprouts, you will be less likely to lose said tomato than if you pair it with cheese or cucumbers.

One of my favorite sandwiches is the Yesterday Sandwich. I have not had a yesterday sandwich for a long time but I used to have them almost every day. See one day Friend and I were hungry. We had pita bread, hummus, dill havarti, tomato (I think), and sprouts. We made sandwiches. The next day we were hungry again. Friend said, "Let's have those sandwiches from yesterday," or something like that. Thus, the yesterday sandwich was born. As I have further developed my sandwich skills, I feel the yesterday sandwich would really benefit from some thinly (but not too thinly) sliced cucumber. MMMM Sandwiches. Since the yesterday sandwich is in a pita, it doesn't slide around too much. However, were you to put it on bread, you would have to go hummus, sprouts, tomato, sprouts, dill havarti or else it would slide around too much.

I also really like the grilled cheese sandwich. I lived on grilled cheese made with Munster add tomato for a long time. Jamie introduced me to adding veggie bacon to such a sandwich. I had never even thought to make sandwiches with veggie bacon until Jamie. I thought it was just for breakfast. That comes with always having been a vegetarian and not really knowing about a BLT. Jamie, who came to vegetarianism later in life, introduced me to that. MMMMM but I like to add cheese, particularly a sharp cheddar. I love cheese.

Yesterday I had a very disappointing sandwich. I ordered box lunches from Jimmy John's (home of a very good sandwich) for this Jr. Board meeting that required me to remain in the office until 7:30pm, YUCK! At least I was going to get a good sandwich. For everyone else I ordered either Turkey or Roast Beef. For myself I ordered a veggie no mayo, no lettuce, extra tomato, add onion. I was very excited about this sandwich. When I opened it up not only did they take off the lettuce but they also took off the sprouts. They also did NOT give me extra tomato so I was left with cheese, 3 tomato slices, 3 cucumber slices, and onions. Now with sprouts added to that it would have been a proper sandwich. With sprouts and extra tomato it would have been a divine sandwich. I was pissed. Not as many people showed up for the meeting as I expected and there were many extra sandwiches, none of which I could eat. My hungry boyfriend had asked me to order him a sandwich and I said that would not be ethical. I am glad I didn't order him one. Instead I brought him home 8 leftover sandwiches, 8 bags of chips, 8 cookies, and 8 pickles. I made him meet me at the train because it was rather awkward carrying all those sandwiches. I think I technically should have left the food in the company kitchen but I had to stay late, we have $7.00 to our name until Friday and are low on food. He needs those sandwiches. I should have ordered more veggie sandwiches.

Credit in the Straight World, Hole- I still like Hole. I sometimes will play Hole rally loud on the train and sometimes I think people notice and look at me funny but oh well. Maybe they are just looking at me funny cause I am funny looking. I don't think so though. I would look at someone funny if Hole was on their stereo so loud that I can hear it and it is 2006.

Song of Joy, Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds- Although this is nowhere near to my favorite song on the Murder Ballads CD I love the whole thing. It made BenMan cry. That was HILARIOUS. To me, a CD all about various murders is really good and funny and enjoyable. BenMan thought it was really sad. Particularly the one about the girl who goes off with a stranger to see the sea and ends up "cuffed to the bed with a rag in her mouth and a bullet in her head". I think the part when her "ghost" comes back to sing really got him. I mean at least that is the saddest of the songs on the CD. If he had cried to Curse of Millhaven I would have lost all respect for him. Aahh Tuesday nights.

Nightmare on My Street, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince- This is the first song on the first CD that I ever owned. I LOVE this CD. I don't really listen to it on the regular except for Time to Chill. That song is legitimately good. This song is not.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006


I have never claimed to be a style guru. Although I thoroughly enjoy fashion, I tend to have my own style based on what I decide looks the best on me or just catches my eye. Sometimes I am right, sometimes I am wrong. I am always (well mostly) fabulous in my own eyes. I often enjoy many of the fashion trends that pop up throughout our lives. I will not wear many of them because they don't tend to flatter my ample figure. However, I will admit that they look killer on the right people and admire them doing their thing. Things have all changed recently though. I have got to put my foot down. The 80's are back in full effect and this is NOT ok.

I was looking through a rather horrendous clothing catalogue called Boston Something that for some reason was addressed to me even though I had never heard of the place let alone ordered something from them or asked to be put on their mailing list and came across the biggest abomination of them all. Stirrup pants. Ok I admit that I used to rock a stirrup. Who didn't? It was the 80's. Now it is 2006 and stirrup pants are not okay. This particular pair featured little zipper pockets and happened to cost $280. I haven't sewed anything for a long time but last I knew Lycra spandex of any kind was incredibly inexpensive and no matter how "trendy" something is who would really buy such a hideous pair of pants for that inflated of a price.

Days after the stirrup debacle, I was reading the horrid Red Eye on my way to work and noticed someone commenting on these great new pants. They were a skinny jean with socks attached so they would easily fit into boots. Are you hearing me? Footsie jeans are apparently a good thing?

A week or two before all this, I was talking to Monica on the phone and she was at H&M and saw something that strongly resembled Multiples. Yes people, Multiples. Again, not something that needed to come back. I can almost understand this fashion trend coming back for the 12-17 year old demographic. They never got the chance to wear fluorescent clothing, huge plastic earrings, way too many bangles, and side ponytails (can you believe how many side ponytails are out there these days) and maybe it looks like fun. It’s really not a good idea, but I had fun doing it so why can't they. I better not start seeing tight rolled jeans and huge bangs walking around too often though or I will probably soil myself. Unfortunately, people in my age group (although I am officially in my late 20s now I will say my age group is to 25-35) are rocking the 80's fashions without a lick of irony or shame. I think this is inexcusable. They lived though it. They spent the last 15 or so years making fun of it. They are now going right back to it and loving it. On the train yesterday I was sitting behind a t-sweater with a zipper with one of those hoops that you grab to zip with and it was unzipped so the entire shoulder was out. Then there were really skinny jeans tucked into ankle boots. Then there were huge plastic earrings and big old sunglasses. At least the ponytail was in the back. Oh but it was wrapped with a bunch of plastic beads. I mean COME ON PEOPLE. The woman was easily 29. This is just not acceptable in today's world.

Now, to discuss another horrible fashion mistake, let’s examine the Minnesota Vikings new uniforms. To those few readers who I have come across who do not know me well, I like football. I am from Minnesota and I love the Vikings. I also like the Bears because I live here. I hate the Packers. I am not one of those people who knows a lot about football. I cannot explain what offsides is. I know, however, that I love to watch some football. So the Vikings (which I must admit is a team I no longer even recognize sans Culpepper, Moss, Carter and all those who I had loved) changed the middle of their field from that awesome Viking with blonde braids to read "MV" in the queerest purple lettering possible. Again, to any of those who don't know me I mean no offense by using the term queer to describe the lettering. It just fit. Then we come to their outfits. While purple has probably never been the manliest color, at least before it was worn with dignity befitting the royals who donned purple robes in ancient times. Now they look like Rollerball rejects. There is a big old purple swoosh down the side of their leg and they look like they are from the 70's trying to look futuristic. Have some dignity people. Maybe Project Runway can have a new challenge of designing better uniforms for the Vikings. Even if they were made from shower curtains and coffee filters (and I loved that coffee filter dress by the way) they could be no worse. Not to mention they lost their game but it was pre-season and they could have tied and forced OT if they had wanted to but dragging out a pre-season game and risking injury is stupid so I'm not even mad that they lost. I'm just mad at how bad they looked doing it. I believe that if they had kept better uniforms they would have won that game.

Now, on a completely non-fashion related topic I just got a hilarious text message from Tony. He apparently saw a deaf person signing to themselves and laughing. Now maybe it seems cruel to some people that I find this utterly hilarious. Well it shouldn't. We have all laughed at hearing people muttering to themselves and laughing like a nut job. This is just funnier. And yes, it's funnier because this person is deaf. Maybe I am cruel. Shit. I was trying to be such a nice person.

Now, for some songs that above crazy person can't hear.

When My Boy Walks Down The Street, Magnetic Fields- I love this song so much. It makes me thing of my boy walking down the street and that makes me giddy like a schoolgirl. I told him this once and he said that I was a huge dork and if I was going to have a song that reminds me of him that it should be less shitty. He is mean. The song is sweet.

Staten Island Baby, Black 47- I downloaded this song because this girl who was trainig me to take her job at this search company I worked at for 3 months was moving to NY and I wanted to make her a CD full of songs about NY. I don't know why I did such a nice thing for her. I mean she was ok and everything but that took a lot of thought.

Old Familiar Way, Of Montreal- what a good day for shuffling. I love this song to. I love Of Montreal. I thank Monica's list of wonder for howing me how great this band is. I only downloaded The Gay Parade and Sunlandic Twins. I don't know which album I like more. I like them both for such different reasons. It truly seems as if two different bands did these albums.

I am now going to go teach the youth how to write objective statements on their resumes. This should be a blast.

Monday, August 14, 2006


Don't get me wrong I love the youth. I plan to teach them throughout my adult career. It warms me throughout to see them learn and experience new things. I truly believe I have impacted people's lives. Maybe I am being over confident with that but I don't really think I am. However, the youth can be a huge disappointment. They can disappoint you so severely that it can make you question if it is truly worth your time. I mean because of strange old Sarah Lawrence I have to go back and take all kinds of silly classes to satisfy the IL state requirements for teaching English. I hope they at least let me get out of the composition class requirement. I mean COME ON.

Case in point, my GED students. While the program I was doing with them was not refunded in June, they were still in the building participating in a summer work program. It was the easiest summer job I could possibly think of. They were to learn about and write poetry. They were then to participate in an open mic and perform some of their pieces. 7 students started the program. 5 finished. 1 showed up to the open mic. Then when their teacher called one of them and told her that saying she would be somewhere and reneging on that promise was dishonorable the student had the nerve to tell her she needed to learn how to talk to people and what made her think she could teach a bunch of street kids poetry in the first place. Now it is beside the point that said student wrote some pretty decent pieces and is a rapper (who apparently has stage fright) but anyone who knows anything about education knows how many young people have been reached through this very process. This poor 19-year-old teacher of theirs feels like a complete failure. Now if I were still their teacher, I would have held their paychecks at the poetry reading and not given them out until a reading had been done. You bet your ass they would have all showed up and had something to perform. Yet, she doesn't think that way because she has more faith than I do and how dare they break her poor heart like that. All I can say is I am glad I was feeling like doing nothing and didn't drag my ass to the south side to hear their poetry. I had really considered doing so and even felt a little guilty. Those little fucks.

I know you can't reach everyone. Hell I know getting one kid who had never written a poem in his life to have the courage to get up at an open mic with experienced performers is something to be proud of. I guess what really gets me is that I expect more from these kids than they expect from themselves. Sometimes I wonder if I am really cut out for a career full of disappointment like that? Will I be satisfied with reaching one or two students a year? Hell, maybe some years they will all be hopeless wastes of time. Now, is that the attitude an aspiring teacher should have? Probably not. At the same time, I know this is something I want to do and I will feel good doing. One of above mentioned little fucks recently just passed his GED test. I can't even begin to explain how happy that made me. Moments like that make it all worthwhile. I just know those days, weeks, months, and years will exist and I give myself a lot of credit for still wanting to put my all into things and see what little changes I can bring.

And now, for the music.

To Love Like The Father and Son Love Each Other, Half-Handed Cloud- Well this just made me feel like all the success that I dream of with those little people is possible. That's what I'm talking about people. Joy, Love, and hope are what keep the world turning. Oh, and gravity.

Disconnect, Rollins Band- This is 90's galore. It traverses the time in my life when I went from listening to “popish” music to “alternative” music although that alternative stuff was very popular. To agree with Henry, I also would like to pull my brainstem out and unplug myself sometimes. This ability would be quite useful today around 3:30 for the weekly management meeting. However, I would need to be able to reconnect myself, put my brainstem back and replug myself. I really love my brainstem.

BasketCase, DangerDoom- What can you say about DangerDoom? You can say it is fucking awesome. You can say that those damn youth don't know shit about it because they think they know everything there is to know about rap music but they really only know about that street crap that all sounds the same. Case in point our fantastic road trip which resulted in me hearing a song that goes "murder murder mamurder murder murder" at least twice a day. I actually almost grew to like it. I wouldn't really mind hearing it right now. That is such a shame. Whatever, I never claimed to not enjoy crappy music. At least I don’t want to hear Stiletto pumps in the club.

Friday, August 11, 2006


I am at war with this mid 40s woman. She is a train bogart. Yesterday I was standing in my normal spot at the train stop. This spot generally allows me to be the first one on the train and, therefore, get one of those single person seats in the back of the car. On days when Tony and I don't go downtown together it's the only way to ride. So yesterday (maybe this is another reason why yesterday was a bad day) this little woman stands directly in front of me and takes my seat! What the fuck? I mean I know people stand close to one another when the train platform is full and all but it wasn't. She just really wanted the single seat too. Then today she shows up again. Instead of being right in front of me, she was so close to my side I swear she wanted to grab my ass or something. She kept looking at me all mean. As the train came up I walked toward the door and I was right in front. Somehow, out of nowhere, she was suddenly in front of me again and took the damn seat. I wanted to whup this bitch's ass. I wanted to whup it more yesterday when I as having a particularly bad day and the thought of sitting next to anyone made me want to vomit. However, the repetition and apparent teleporting of today was also particularly heinous. I think that her standing spot is slightly to the left of mine. I'm gonna stand there on Monday and glare at her. Then again, Tony will be going to school on Monday so it will be a non-issue. Damn, I kinda was looking forward to it. I like to have wars and battles with people when they don't know. Yet, I think this woman might know. She is serious business.

So maybe today is also a bad day. Last night Tyveculus was kicked off Superheroes, which sent Fat Mama into hysterics and caused some serious pondering by Major Victory. I think Major Victory had a serious man crush on Tyveculus. Although he was not my favorite I was sad to see him go. He really wanted to prove to his 3 sons' that he was a real hero (like having a dad who is a firefighter isn't cool enough for 3 little boys). Plus it was bogus, Stan wanted them all to say they would kick themselves off the show but everyone knows they were all lying and just wanted to do the right thing. Personally, I think it took far more courage to single someone else out to go home but oh well. I suppose self-sacrifice is an important trait for a hero and all. Wow I watch too much TV. When I got to work today was going to be super easy. I had more volunteers scheduled than I needed and I didn't have too much else to do but write. Then, 3 of the 4 volunteers I had scheduled to come in and interview the youth had to cancel. They all had legitimate reasons; I didn't feel like anyone was trying to cut class on me or anything but it sucked. Things did work out smoothly though so I guess it isn't that bad of a day. Plus it is Friday.

I match too much today. That is a little bit of a problem. I have an aqua sweater, brown pants, and aqua brown and white shoes. My socks are yellow and do NOT match the rest of my outfit but no one can see my socks because my pants are long because I am short. It seemed easy when I got dressed in the dark this morning. I knew it wouldn't clash. Lakeyia told me that since the shoes have white in them I don't match TOO much and should relax. This is one of the few moments I am glad Monica lives in NY.

This is the time on Blog-o-mine where we listen

To Your Love, Fiona Apple- Ok this certainly is an embarrassing one. It makes me think of Jayme Valdez. I wonder what she is doing these days. As far as I know no one has really heard from her. I hope she is ok. I maybe should pull a Monica and put her name in my blog over and over in hopes that she would Google herself JAYME VALDEZ JAYME VALDEZ JAYME VALDEZ. When I Google myself nothing about me comes up whatsoever. Maybe I should put my name in too Natalie Daniels Natalie Daniels Natalie Daniels. Man I am a freak.

Welcome to the Terrordome, Public Enemy- I really love the old school west coast beats, horns, and other funky thingies. It makes me want to watch Fear of a Black Hat. Too bad my copy sucks. As much as I love that film I would feel really silly purchasing it in 2006. My dad has the soundtrack; maybe I should put that in my ipod.

King Herod's Song- Andrew Lloyd Webber- Ok this is the song that should have come on yesterday to make me happy. Anyone who knows me knows how much I love musicals. They also know about the strong fondness I have for Jesus Christ Superstar. That Judas just rocks! Jesus sounds kind of shrill and a little whiney but he still rocks. While JCS s not my absolute favorite musical it does have the best soundtrack. For pure cinematic pleasure I’ll have to go with Fiddler on the Roof, My Fair Lady, and Oliver! probably in that order. However, I don't blast Sunrise Sunset on the morning commute. However, this song in particular calls up recollections of kick lines and fantastic dances. Oh boy do I want to get up and do a jig. My feet were going like crazy under the desk. At times like this I am glad I have an office all to myself. Other times I get very lonely but this time it’s a good thing.

Thursday, August 10, 2006


Today while the volunteers I schedule were interviewing the people in the employment program that goes on here I wrote the first verse of "Today is a Bad Day" an obvious parody of "Today was a Good Day". I thought about posting it but it sucks too much and is utterly pathetic. I am trying to think of things about today that are good and all I can come up with is tomorrow is Friday and that really isn't exciting to me right now. You know you aren't having a good day when Friday doesn't matter. I have been up since 4am and feel like hell. The weather is shitty and looks like tornados. Bradley of the fantastic one-liners will no longer be seen on Project Runway. My nice TV doesn't work right. Some guy almost pushed me off the train platform running to catch the train (well that was yesterday) and he fell down right when he got by the train door so I guess that is actually really funny. It doesn't change that this day really fucking sucks. Even the thought of Superheroes doesn't make me happy. I spent this morning listening to Boys For Pele and if you know the album it doesn't need to be explained. If you don't know it, I'm not going to explain.

Maybe the shuffle game will force me to listen to something happy.

Home Computer, Kraftwerk- Now if Pocket Calculator had come on I would have cracked a smile. I am almost smiling at the thought of pocket calculator. This song, however, has a rather dull and depressing beat and talks about them beaming themselves into the future. I would like to do that, hopefully by the future everything will be nice and normal or else terrorists will have blown us all up and it won't matter.

One Line, PJ Harvey- This simply doesn’t help one bit. It’s a really good song though.

As If You Read My Mind, Stevie Wonder- Damn this is even a really happy song. I'm still having a really bad day. In fact it's so happy I don't know if I can even listen to the whole stupid song.


Wednesday, August 09, 2006


I like friends. I like talking to friends. I like having friends. I hate making friends. I am one of those people who is fine not having a lot of people around. Most of my life I have had one or two people that I hang with a LOT and then other people around that I also enjoy. As I have grown older, my desire to be around people has decreased dramatically. Well, that may not be altogether true. I love being around people that I like. I like to talk to them, go out with them, and stay in with them, all types of things. However, I don't like typical "social" situations. I despise fake conversations. The thought of a party with lots of people I don't know where I have to "mingle" makes me want to vomit. Despite of all this, I enjoy contact from people, particularly when I have to make little or no effort. That is why Friend Requests on Myspace make me happy. Well, I should rephrase, legitimate Friend Requests on Myspace make me happy. I like nothing more than coming across someone I haven't seen in ages but have fond memories of. Wait, that’s a lie, I like them to come across me more. It makes me feel nice. That is why there is nothing worse than a bogus friend request. I know there are those types out there ho will just be friends with anyone and really want to get their friend numbers up. Not me, I want to know my friends. They don't have to be people I talk to all the time but I like to know I can have a reasonable conversation with them if I so desire. I don't want to be friends with some random band that looks like it is extra crappy. I only want to be friends with bands I know are crappy. I don't want to be friends with half-clothed 19-year-old guys, obviously. But the question really is why would they want to be friends with me? I mean I think I'm plenty cute but I don't think I appeal to the 19 year old types who like to take pictures with their shirts off. Maybe I am way off on my target market.

I also enjoy running into friends and having them know how to handle the situation. Case in point, I had a wonderful interaction with Julie this morning on the train. She got on, I see her standing, wave and we say hi. We speak for about 30 seconds but realize we are on a train and not right next to each other so we put our headphones back on and continue with our commute. Now Julie and I have had conversations about how on the morning commute you are in your own world listening to your music and blocking out the world so this was perfectly acceptable and not at all rude. In fact, I am so glad of this because it is exactly what we both wanted to do and we didn't have to think about being rude because we are friends. Later, when there was an open seat next to me and Julie was able to sit in it we talked a little more. Again, not at all unreasonable. I think it was an absolutely perfect interaction. That is the kind of friend I like. One who will let you muddle through a morning in peace and give support about you getting off the train and dropping your iPod and will wish that you make it though the day unscathed. That's what a friend is.

Seeing as I just dropped my iPod, let's hope the shuffle game works.

Like A Rolling Stone, Bob Dylan- This song I dedicate to all those awful arrogant bitches from SLC. I hope you all fail and have to wonder "How Does It Feel?" Unfortunately, those lucky bitches will probably never have to struggle for a second. Not that I can really talk, I mean I am broke as fuck but I still have a home and food and cable. I'll never be like a rolling stone either. But they really deserve it.

California, Quasi- Quasi is Tony's favorite band. He thinks that I just tolerate them because he likes them so much. He is always in shock when I voluntarily put on Quasi. I don't know why he feels this way Quasi is good. Its like Ben Folds meets Sleater-Kinney meets Of Montreal and man it makes me smile. Tony would probably have a shit-fit about the bands I mushed together to describe Quasi but oh well. It makes sense to me. Tony has a Quasi shirt with a raccoon on it. The raccoon is really cute. It inspired Monica and I to create a clothing line "Coon" HAHAHA that’s really funny to me. "Tired of FUBU? Try Coon". There would be this little cute adorable raccoon and all these gangsa types would sport it. I wonder if Project Runway would endorse the Coon brand? I wish I had a friend nearby that liked racism as much as Monica and I do.

Love is All, The Rapture- This song is good. I don't really have much else to say about it. I don't know if Monica or Tony put The Rapture on my computer but its there and I enjoy it.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006


I got an interesting email yesterday from my mother in which she mentioned something my father had said. He was thinking about the Israel-Lebanon conflict and comparing it with the rates of people murdered in our fair American Cities and saw a striking similarity in numbers. In particular when looking at New Orleans (that poor failed city), where the rates have skyrocketed and the National Guard has been called, you would think we would see some return to order rather than strikingly high numbers. Then he looked at the amount of attention given to both issues. "Surprisingly" much more attention has been paid to the conflict overseas. I mean how many times a day do you hear about the American Murder Rate compared to the Israel-Lebanon thing? Now, if you as me, when it is more important to try and construct a cease-fire halfway cross the globe than it is to try and construct one here at home? Answer: NEVER. I think we have a problem in priorities. I'm not saying that what goes on in the world doesn't have a strong effect on things here but come on. I realize that it may be as difficult, if not a more difficult task to stop countrywide murders than to stop a war. But maybe it isn't. I'm not one to propose a solution I'm no politician. However, I think it is a problem that they should be paying a lot more attention to. How secure is our nation when my precious little sister is afraid of stray bullets. Not so secure. Back in the day when we coulnd't keep tabs on things across the oceans so easily we wouldn't face these problems. Progress, a dissapointment.

To completely change the subject, and yet get stay on topic, I was walking back to my office from lunch just now and saw this guy who looked strangely familiar. He was ambiguously brown, had these long thick light brown dreadlocks, a rounded nose, and brown eyes. I couldn't place him to save my life but I felt like I knew him quite well. On a personal level. Like I had seen him running through his everyday duties on a regular basis. Then I got it. He looked like a Sim. Leif Smith to be exact. Now except for about 2 hours in the last month, I have not played SIMS for about a year. However, I used to be sick and have a problem. I would play SIMS from the time I got off work to the time I had to go to bed. If I came home and the computer was in use (often by Monica playing SIMS) I would have a silent pout and then hover nearby until the seat was relinquished. Or, if Monica was playing SIMSI would creepily watch. We had some times with those little guys. Ima Houseboy (the name says it all), The VonSkeletor Family (they killed like 40 Sims easily), Those trailer park folk (Sims don't really understand the concept of separate trailers), then once SIMS2 came along we had a whole new crop of Sims. Now here comes the topic part, I think SIMS2 destroyed my love of the Sims. You could have never told me that when I was playing. But since all the Sims I really remember were pre SIMS2 I simply have to think that is the case. You can't murder Sims in SIMS2. I mean you can, but it seriously depresses the people whose house they die in and their ghosts make people very uncomfortable. Before they wouldn’t really care if a Sim dies and the ghosts would just wander and occasionally jump into someone with little harm. You have a house of 3 ghosts in SIMS2 and you have unhappy Sims, forget about killing off a significant number. Then the level of jealousy is just too much for cheating. You can't have a happy couple and their live-in houseboy without serious problems. I mean there were a few problems before but nothing like this. Then it gets so repetitive. I mean the raising of the kids, the aging, and all the things that initially were so great about the game came to drag me down. Then when I got Nightlife all the custom hair, clothing, etc I had downloaded stopped working. I then lost all interest. If they couldn’t have the proper hair what was the point. I could keep the Sims with good hair going but the new ones lost excitement. Therefore, I stopped playing SIMS. That is why progress is an ultimate disappointment. Extra buttons, options, and features are great until they just take the fun away.

Speaking of something without extra options and features, lets delve into my old 40G iPod (no color, no video, no extras, and they aren't even still sold) for the SHUFFLE GAME

Too High, Stevie Wonder- I love any song that tells a story. I was talking to Tony last night about how he listens to beats and tunes and I listen to lyrics and voice. Its true. I love a good beat but I will certainly notice what an artist has to say. I mean if they didn't have anything to say they would play instrumental music. Well maybe that isn't true, lots of people get material written for them and they would sing just about anything. And then there are the people that make bubble gum lyrics because they know it will sell. However, bubble gum lyrics don't typically tell a story but sometimes they do. Either way, this bitch was too high and she didn't listen to her friends and now the bitch is dead.

Sweet Surrender- Sarah McLachlan- Ok so it has happened. I am really officially very embarrassed and people should now realize that I do not lie when I say you can't skip a song in the shuffle game. I am really going to go out on a limb and say that part of me doesn't want to skip it and secretly still likes this crap. Oh shit, in case anyone who doesn't know me reads this (and surprisingly I think a few people have so they may again) they will never want to be my friend because I am exceedingly uncool. Unless they like this song too that is. If they do like this song I may not want to be their friend. What kind of a horrible person am I? Oh well.

Triumph of a Heart, Bjork- In case anyone doesn't know, Medulla is probably one of the most psychotic albums around. It kind of makes me crazy. The fact that very few of the songs are in English probably doesn't help. This song is actually in English and makes me feel only slightly psychotic. I was really hoping for like the coolest song ever to come on right now to completely erase the shame of or previous selection, but that didn't really happen. Bjork is of course way cooler though and I may be on my way back to acceptance. Just wait until Mr. Big comes on.

Monday, August 07, 2006


Last night I was talking to my precious little sister and she told me about one of her students who stopped to say hi to a friend he hadn't seen in a while on the street and while saying hello his friend and the person his friend was with got shot in the legs. That is just kind of creepy. Lucky for her student the shooters didn't miss, unless they weren't aiming for the legs that is. So the poor little baby (Sister not student) has now developed a fear of stray bullets. That is the kind of fear that really sucks. I mean there is nothing you can do about it. You can't get a little closer to stray bullets every day until one can whiz right past your head and you don't blink. That is very impractical. That is why I say let go of the little things. Stress and fear are not healthy. You don't want to walk around everyday expecting to get shot. People just aren't made for that. You also can't walk around every day thinking that some terrorist is going to blow you up. That’s why I feel particularly bad for people living in countries where that kind of thing is so prevalent. Think of all the cortisol running through people's bodies over there. They are going to swell up like little terror balloons. Then there is all this talk of WWIII. I mean technically the US war in Iraq may as well have been called that from the get go what with the coalition of the willing and all but maybe I am reaching with that one. I hate the thought of WWIII. I mean I was raised to believe that WWIII would mean the end of the world. And not in that rapture kind of way. It would be kind of nifty if all those types get whisked from the planet though; they really get on my nerves. Think about it. Gay people could marry all over the place, stem cell research in every lab, and abortions without all the extra drama (as if those women need any more). I mean it would be a better world for all us "normal" people.

Well that was a bit of a downer so let’s talk about pie. I made two delicious pies this weekend. Not fruit desert pies, oh no, but vegetable dinner pies. One may think I am stupid and am talking about quiche but I'm not. These pies contained one egg each and no such quiche would exist. They also had delicious hearty crusts, another quiche no no. The first was a mushroom pie with a spinach crust taken from "The Enchanted Broccoli Forest" and I made it for a gathering consisting of Jamie and Dave and me and Tony. I forgot they don't like mushrooms. Oh well, more delicious pie for Tony and myself. I mean who doesn’t' like mushrooms. Had it been Monica and Brooke over that pie would have lasted like two seconds. Luckily I had delicious feta spread that my mom makes but I added grated cucumber and a few smashed cloves of boiled garlic, which is incredibly mild and squishy if you didn’t already know, and served it with fresh bread sliced tomatoes and fresh basil (take that mommy). I also made a yummy fruit salad (with no strawberries) and a nice yogurt type dressing MMMMM. Tony and I liked the first pie so much that we though about a second one. Unfortunately we had few of the necessary ingredients. I then decided to use the pie skills I gained from the night before and my creative cooking skills to make a new pie. I then constructed a carrot and cucumber crust (which turned out surprisingly well) and filled it with a carrot, mushroom, and corn filling. Also delicious. Man pie is cool. Mom, if you are reading and not mad at me about the feta comment, I need the recipe for pizza rustica. This is a pie-like dish that is basically like a lasagna/pizza in a piecrust. It was one of my favorites growing up and now that I can make pies I want to make it. I can't wait until lunchtime when I can eat some leftover veggie garbage pie.

On a side note, the back page of the red eye this morning spoke of other stars coming out to support Mel Gibson. Maybe it's just me but that seems stupid. Don't they know the Jew run media will come get them too? I did like how Jodi Foster said, and I don't quote, He is a raging drunk but no anti-Semite. Again, drunkenness may let your prejudices come out but it DOES NOT create new ones.

On another side note, things worked out just perfectly on Friday in regard to Lollapalooza. Tony and I decided we were too poor to both go, a kind of sad decision. So we went out to dinner at Pegasus a delicious Greek Restaurant. While there, Tony’s friend Chris sent him a text message seeing if he would be at the concert so they could meet up. I was like "dude, I thought you wanted me to go case you didn't have anyone else to go with, go get yourself a ticket and have a fun night". It turns out he just wanted to go with me because he likes me around, go figure? So I went home, watched movies, started to clean the house so I didn't end up on Dave's blog as a messy house person (although Frankie certainly did point out where some sweeping was lacking), and caught up on Soap on demand. Now for some people it may seem like Tony got the better end of that deal but to me, not so much. And really, that's all that matters. I very rarely get to sit at home by myself so it really turned out to be the best decision possible. I love it when things work out.

Lets do the Shuffle
Music is My Radar, Blur- I miss Monica. Blur is always a good time. Videos, singing on the trains, streets, anywhere where singing could happen. It's got a good beat and you can dance to it.

Everybody Wants To Rule The World, Tears for Fears- I love this song. I want to rule the world. It’s funny that two tears for fears songs have shown up since I began this thing. I am not a huge fan of theirs or anything. In fact, I only have 3 of their songs in my player.

Dawn Is A Feeling, The Moody Blues- I have loved this song for as long as I can remember. I believe it was on my sister’s baby tape so that means my mom listened to it a lot when I was about 3. I also think it is very sexy. I also used to think the Moody Blues were black. See the baby tape was pretty crackly and they had these deep voices and sounded cool so I just assumed they were black. I think I figured it out in my mid teen years. That’s a little silly. But come on, how many people (including me) thought the righteous brothers were black.

Friday, August 04, 2006


I hate making decisions. I am one of those awful people who will be asked "What do you want to do?" and like those adorable vultures in the Jungle Book movie will reply " I dunna know, what you wanna do?” This can go on forEVER. My boyfriend hats this. My family hates this. I think everyone I know hates this about me. In fact, I hate it myself. I know that I am infuriating and annoying and I wish that bitch would make a damn decision for once in her life. However, what makes things worse when people ask my opinion on things that really should not be my decision. Why would they do that? Like today. Tony had asked his mother if she would by him tickets for today’s Lollapalooza performances because he loves Sleater Kinney and will probably never have the chance to see them again. Cool I would totally go. Then its like back and forth, maybe he wants to go maybe not maybe so is it worth it. It would be like fucking some girl you wanted forever after she was no longer cute blah blah blah. (I should note that although I have said that Tony keeps doing strange stuff in my Blog that he is an absolutely wonderful, loving, and fun person. Today he brought me a present. It was an ant that he made out of red wax at school. It is incredibly cute and resembles the ants on the old school commercials for Ants In The Pants. I love it.) Yesterday I thought we decided to go to dinner instead. This morning I hear lets get tickets and have my mom pay us back. Uh, I am wearing my suede Marc Jacobs pumps, not going to an outdoor concert in them. Anyway, to sum things up he is going home to change and bringing me back my Ponys and everything will be fun and dandy. I was looking forward to a nice Greek dinner. Oh well, maybe Sunday. I wonder if anyone else is playing that is worth seeing? Let’s see. The Red Eye says people should see Editors, they compare them to Coldplay (yuck) but maybe that is an option. Then there is Lady Sovereign. That could be fun I suppose. Then we have The Raconteurs; I have heard good things but have no idea what they sound like. Of course Sleater Kinney is up next and we all know I'll be there. I wonder if Tony will want to see Ween. I kind of would like to see Ween. They are fun to me. I certainly would rather see them than Death Cab For Cutie that OC shit. Not that I have anything against the OC, I love that horrible show.

Speaking of horrible yet loved shows, the Superheroes were on again last night. It was not as wonderful as the episode I so lovingly described yesterday but it wasn't bad either. They had to run to a door past attack dogs. I would have quit before even getting started. I like dogs enough but not mean biting ones. I used to have dreams about running away form mean dogs. I think it had something to do with slavery since I was always raggedy and there were evil men with the dogs. Man those dreams sucked. I digress. The heroes all got new costumes. They were pretty good except for Tyvectus (or whatever) who looked like foghorn leghorn meets Klingons from the first Star Trek. If only he had owned up to admitting he didn't like it Stan Lee would not have almost had to kick him off. Instead it was the Iron Enforcer but there was a twist!! The Iron Enforcer will now be a super villain, a very fitting job for him. I hated his admitting to taking steroids and wanting to kill people self. This show also have me a good excuse to keep my pappy on the phone for a little while which as fun. He likes comics.

Although I also like comics, I really like music such as...

Paragraph President, Blackalicious- Good song. I will not be at Lollapalooza when Blackalicious is performing. That is tomorrow. Lots of good people are performing tomorrow. I will be at home cleaning because I don't want Dave E Wo to say how scary my apartment is on Live Journal. He did it to "The Lesbians" I want to be in the clear. What will I make for dinner?

Kool Keith Housing Things, Ultramagnetic MC's- a good old school sound makes me tap my feet. Oh shit, I have to go teach people how to look for jobs on the Internet. No more enjoying songs for me.

Dreadlock Talking, Lee Perry- I like Lee Perry. I feel better liking someone other than Bob Marley. I was for a long time one of those people where all I knew about reggae was Marley. Now I know two bands. I am cooler than a bunch of other people now and that is sad. Teaching kids was fun by the way.


Thursday, August 03, 2006


So yesterday was Wednesday, my favorite day of the week. Why is it my favorite? PROJECT RUNWAY that's why. And what an episode we had. Monica had already clued me into the wonders of Bradley's quaint little comments. I really enjoyed his discussion of how maybe he should shave his beard and have just a mustache. Although I don't want to marry him like she does, he has certainly risen in my esteem. I am, however devastated that Angela has immunity because I do not particularly like her. I mean how many of those poof skirts does she have? She has great glasses and is pretty but DAMN. I also have mixed feelings about seeing Keith go. The eye candy was great but he was a slimy nasty cheat and that is just not acceptable. Good riddance, cutie pie. My dream that everyone thought I was having an affair with him is even sadder now. I would never ever have an affair with a big cheater like that. Next week also promised to be wonderful, as usual. After Project Runway I was a little sad because I knew the rest of the night could not compare. Boy was I wrong.

Enter my new favorite show, although I am not exactly sure of the name. It’s that one with Stan Lee and the wannabe Superheroes. When I watched the commercials I didn't think the show would have anything truly entertaining to offer. Was I ever mistaken. I always enjoyed Fat Mama, even in the commercials "Fat Mama, Fat Mama I'm here to save the day. Fat Mama, Fat Mama I'll take your food away". That’s pure gold. Not to mention she has donuts hanging from her costume. I immediately regretted not knowing about this show and being able to try out. I would have thrown together something resembling my SLC outfits and been emerged as PEACE GIRL!!! Born from the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, Peace Girl comes to bring love and happiness to all those in need. I shower them with my flower power (you bet I would be throwing flowers at people) and bring them the joy that is missing in their otherwise dull and angst-ridden lives. Stan Lee could not have resisted. Anyway, I digress. The first challenge was changing in public without being seen and then running to the finish line. The goal, do it FAST. I would have rocked that shit. However I was dismayed at how many superheroes stuck to the mission and passed the obviously placed crying little girl who had lost her mother. I mean come on; Superheroes will stop everything to help someone in distress, particularly a child with pigtails. Only like four of them stopped to help her to the security office that was right in front of them. DUH. Of course Fat Mama saved the little girl. But then, my surprise favorite arose from the masses, Major Victory! Not only did he dash around making hilarious super hero gestures but he swooped the little girl into his arms and carried her to the security office. Major Victory, hats off to you my man! You are a true hero. Anyway, the sad part of things is that I have another show to watch. But man, what a good one. I think the new episode may actually come on today. I hope so. I love that show. Oh, did I mention Monkey Woman changed her outfit in a tree HAHAHAHA.

One more odd thing before I get to the music, This morning on the train the woman next to me was swaying and dancing way too close to me. I didn't like it very much. However, it reminded me of the guy on the blue line that would mouth words with a very big saliva ridden mouth and just go crazy with his headphones. That made me smile. And now, for the music.

Cryin', Aerosmith- You can hate all you want but I love the shit out of this song. It was a fantastic video and my dear little sister and I spent a summer watching it on MTV and singing at the top of our lungs. We will still sing about how we were CRYING because you are so AMAZING that I go CRAZY cause you got me LIVIN ON THE EDGE.

4 Otha Fish, The Pharcyde- FANTASTIC album and any time when you get to say cranium without sounding silly is just too good to be true.

By The Time I Get To Phoenix, Isaac Hayes- Any time Isaac begins a song talking all soulful about how much a man loves a woman and how she did him wrong wrong wrong you know you have a hit. But as you listen and discover that this poor man left his low down cheatin' woman Seven times and went back Seven times before having to flee to Phoenix, now that's a classic

Wednesday, August 02, 2006


My biggest pet peeve in life is stupid people. This is rather unfortunate because stupid people are all around us. We encounter them on a daily basis, wherever we turn, and there is absolutely nothing that someone can do to avoid stupids entirely. They are on the train, the street, eateries, and of course teeming throughout the media. Most of the time, I try to ignore their loud comments, their nails on the chalkboard ways, but sometimes I just can't do it. Today I would like to talk about a particular kind of stupid, the Racist stupid, and to be even more specific, the Anti-Semite, and to really get down to it Mel Gibson. Maybe I am biased because I happen to be of the Jewish persuasion (sorta) but come on that shit was too funny. To begin with the guy didn't have much of a chance. Since his father reportedly believes much of the Holocaust was untrue we may have to cut him a tiny bit of slack. I mean we all know racism begins in the home. However, plenty of people who have those one or two back-woods relatives, even a few with back-woods parents come out just fine. So maybe that isn't as much of an excuse as I had thought.

Lets start with that Passion movie. Now I really can't say all that much about it because I certainly didn't see that piece of shit. I mean who really wanted to sit through a film in a dead language about a guy getting his ass beat in primitive ways. Don't get me wrong; I enjoy a good violent film very much. If it had been ninjas kicking the shit out of Jesus I may have watched, no I would have been first in line because that seems really funny to me. Not that I mean any disrespect to the Christians they are my people too (sorta) But the lash??? I mean where is the action and excitement? At least JC Superstar had dancing singing and a banging soundtrack. So the point I am trying to make is people seemed to say he blamed the Jews for killing Jesus in that movie. Again, I didn't see the film but from what I know and what I have heard they didn’t come out looking so good. So let's look at history. Those Pharisees and Sadducees were afraid of the Romans and they basically set him up to get arrested. Now maybe they should have knows because of how Roman justice worked that it was a death sentence but maybe not. I think they just wanted the guy out of their hair. Then Herod really screwed things up for Jesus but he wasn't even Jewish. Sure his dad worshiped the Jewish god but he had an Arabian mother and any good Jew knows that it is passed thorough the maternal line plus it is commonly understood he was a roman puppet. So my point is that anyone with any lick of sense knows the Romans and not the Jews killed Jesus.

Ok Now to deal with the wonderful statement that the Jews are the causes of all the worlds’ wars. Now I don't really feel like doing a complete run through of every war since the beginning of recorded time because this would be a long boring post (as if it isn’t already) that would necessitate a lot of research into crap that I just don't care about so I won't go there. Lets just talk about wars (and maybe a few conflicts) of the 20th century. Oh this is all stuff I am remembering and as you can see no research was done so maybe I'm wrong on some facts and stuff but oh well its fun. WWI- Archduke Ferdinand, Jew? Killed by a Jew? I think not. WWII- Crazy old Hitler- Jewish? There has been some speculation since one of his ancestors although I can't remember who was illegitimate and that person's mother worked in a Jewish household (everyone likes sleeping with the help) but it seems rather unlikely and is certainly not fact. We do know he hated the Jews and while hatred of them was certainly a HUGE aspect of WWII I do not believe it could be cited as the actual cause of the war. Now lets talk about some conflicts Vietnam, Korea probably not having much to do with the Jews. Now lets get to the Middle East. Israel was "created" in 1948 as a result of WWII now I can see that putting a bunch of people in a country already inhabited by other people will cause much conflict. This conflict has been played out in various events for the last uh 50 years give or take. However, not entirely the fault of the Jews. Instead blame all the countries who wanted to give these displaced people their own state rather than take them in and we all know how little of a problem the US has with displacing the people that live somewhere.... So, Mel, if you're reading, it's not the Jews fault. Idiot. I mean sure, they should have worked with their displaced neighbors when they got plopped somewhere and started making laws but so should have the USA.

So now let's talk a little about his HILARIOUS apology statement. "When I say something, either articulated and thought out, or blurted out in a moment of insanity" ok let's stop there. So the man has admitted he is nutso. That’s a good first step. Let's look further "Every human being is God's child [even those stinkin' Jews] and if I wish to honor my God I have to honor his children [as much as I may hate to do so] but please know from my heart that I am not an anti-Semite [I just play one in the movies]. I am not a bigot [I just hate the Jews, doesn’t everyone?]. Hatred of any kind goes against my faith [so even though I said all those things I couldn't have possibly meant it because I like God]. I'm not just asking for forgiveness [please, please forgive me, Jesus would]. I would like to take it one step further and meet with leaders in the Jewish community, with whom I can have a one on one discussion to discern the appropriate path for healing.... It’s about existing in harmony in a world that seems to have gone mad [because of those war causing Jews]". Oh Mel, I really like how you asked to meet with Jewish leaders, and how you said it isn't about films or getting your career out of the toilet. You really don't have to worry or go meet with those Jews to try and make it better. All those people, like our president, who are working hard for Armageddon, will still come and see your films. There were enough of them to get Dubya elected twice (sorta), I am sure those same folks can save your sad and sorry career.

Ok that was a really fun ranting tirade about something that I think is totally funny and not at all important. I now return to my favorite segment of our show, 3 random songs.

Ecstasy, PJ Harvey- I love a 4 track demo. Gritty, raw, full of anger and angst. It brings you back to the basest of human emotions and essential feelings of soul-searching passion.

Shout, Tears For Fears- 80's gold if I ever heard it. Such a fine pairing of explosions of feeling I have never seen. These sure are the things I can do without "in violent times you shouldn't have to sell your soul" preach on!!!!!

What Do You Want Me To Do?, Prince- Although Musicology is not my favorite of all Prince albums I have to admit it has grown on me an enormous amount. It is a good old-fashioned smooth sounding album and you can't help but groove.