Friday, September 29, 2006


So remember yesterday how I was all delayed on the train? Today I found out that there had been a gap in the rail on one of the other lines. I am very glad I wasn’t on that line and that they got the problem fixed. Apparently, yesterday was just a very bad day for trains in Chicago in general. Before my delay some electricity went out on the brown/purple line track and they had to get workers out there to hold up signs for the train conductors. That is super special. Then, Tony got stuck on the trains later in the day because apparently someone launched herself in front of the brown line.

I am going to be a very mean person for a paragraph or so here, consider yourself warned. Suicide is always a selfish act in my opinion. Only someone incredibly self-centered would take themselves out and leave such a mess for their friends and families. However, suicide by public transportation is a whole different kind of selfish. You know that it will hold up the lines and keep people from getting where they need to go. Your death could cause someone to be late to the job interview of their life and change their path forever, possibly resulting in another suicide down the road. Maybe someone was on their way to the hospital for the birth of their child. I don’t know why they wouldn’t opt for a cab in that case but maybe they just didn’t have cab money. Is your death so important that keeping someone from the start of their child’s life is ok? Then think of the train conductor. They have to live the rest of their lives knowing they ran someone over. Even if that conductor were me (and hopefully whoever was driving isn't quite as callous as I am), I would feel bad (on top of being really mad at them for taking my time and making me have to write up some sort of accident report) about driving that train and may have to quit my job.

Then, on the generally uneventful Metra, some unassuming Police officer was shot and killed in his squad car. It actually happened at my co-worker’s stop right around the time she was getting off the train. She saw the guy’s car in a parking lot across the street with the lights on. I guess he patrols from there sometime. However, these people said they noticed him in his car and reported it, which she says is crazy. As his car was parked in an empty lot across the street from anything and it was dark, how did these people see into his car, past the beams of the headlights, and notice he was slumped over. So the question is, why were they close enough to see?

Huh, this has been an utterly depressing post. As a transition between this horrid stuff and the wonderful music that I enjoy so much I will give you one of the cleverest misheard lyrics I have come across in a while. “Lady Elaine, lay across my big brass bed,” for those of you who don’t know the lyric is “Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed,’ and Lady Elaine is a very strange, and rather unattractive, puppet from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. Why anyone would want her laying across their bed is a total mystery to me.

Yesterday people guessed almost all my songs. I was very impressed. Then again, as I said, those songs were pretty easy. We have one left and anyone who hung out with me in 8th grade should know it. I don't think many people in that category read this though. Four new songs will follow.

1. This pig harassed the whole neighborhood. Well this pig worked at the station. This pig he killed my homeboy so the fucking pig went on a vacation. Pigs, Cypress Hill. Partially identified by Monica and fully identified by an unknown person.

2. It’s a still-life watercolor of a now late afternoon, as the sun shines thought the curtain lace and shadows wash the room. The Dangling Conversation, Simon and Garfunkel. Identified by (I called it again) Mom.

3. When I had you to myself I didn’t want you around. Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd. I Want You Back, Jackson 5 (certainly not Puff Daddy) identified by a different unknown person.

4. I am walking out in the rain and I am listening to the low moan of the dial-tone again and I am getting nowhere with you and I can’t let it go and I can’t get through. Both Hands, Ani DiFranco. Identified by (who called it) Brooke.

5. Monday morning wake up knowing that you’ve got to go to school. Tell your mom what to expect she says it’s right out of the blue. Expectations, Belle and Sebastian. Identified by (3 of 4 ain't bad)Monica

Damn, this shit is easy too. Well maybe not quite as easy as the last group but there are some readers out there who I know are perfectly aware of what those last four songs are. Like I can almost promise that my Mom knows 2 and maybe 3, Monica has 3 and 5 (unless Jaclyn gets 5 first), and Brooke has 4. I suppose I could be wrong though.

Thursday, September 28, 2006


This morning Tony had to leave early to go to an interview for his Dental Assisting Externship so I had a morning that was different from our normal routine. I woke up about ten minutes earlier than I typically do and, after my shower donned Tony’s bathrobe (cause it is fluffier than mine) and made myself a bowl of grits. MMMMM grits. I then sat in front of the computer and did a little blog surfing. It was really relaxing. It kind of made me reevaluate my morning routine.

As I have mentioned before, I really pride myself in being up and out the door in 30 minutes. I have never understood the people who take a long time getting ready. I must admit I still don’t really understand those people. However, I have a new respect for the people who get ready fast so that they have time to lounge for a little while. I have never been a coffee drinker (the occasional cup here and there but it isn’t something I do ever week let alone every day) and, now that I have started eating breakfast again, I generally have something that I throw in my bag and eat at my desk. As I am truly not a morning person, getting up early to have a relaxing breakfast may be very hard to do daily, but I really should try it at least once a week.

Now, I haven’t gotten good at this leisurely activity and the little early I woke up wasn’t quite enough. I may have to aim for 20 minutes instead of 10. This means I could just get up at the same time as Tony and while he showers I can have breakfast and relax. See today I left a little late but figured that since I was here until 7:30 last night it didn’t really matter. I was only going to be about five minutes late. Then my train was delayed and it began to matter a little but it was still ok although I walked into the office about 25 minutes late. Obviously, this was mostly the fault of the train, not the fault of breakfast. I really think that I will have to try this new plan. It kind of makes me feel like an old person though.

Because I worked so late last night I had to record Top Model and Project Runway. I really don’t have much to say about Top Model except that they have kicked off two of the girls I actually liked in the first two episodes. I really am trying to like this season but I am having a hard time. They are just boring. That Monique makes me want to die. She gives Chicago a bad name. Project Runway was great though. I am so happy that they are letting all four designers go to the finals. I was really scared seeing Michael and Jeffrey in the bottom two since they are my two favorites. Michael’s dress was a mess though. The judges hated Jeffrey’s dress but I thought it was pretty, a little off, but still pretty. I do dress a little off myself though so maybe I am not a good judge. Uli’s dress was just fantastic though and it looked amazing on Nazaree (whose name I am sure I just butchered but I am too lazy to look up the proper spelling). Poor Michael though, getting his model stolen this close to the end of the series is kind of bogus. Laura’s dress, well I have nothing to say about it. It was fine, predictable, boring, pretty, and fine. I can’t wait for the reunion episode next week. Keith is going to act crazy and it will be hilarious.

So the songs that came on yesterday were pretty easy. Only two are left. That means I get to add a bunch of fun new ones. I hope they are good.

1. You turn the screws you tear down the bridge. Flimsy as it is, it’s business like. You Turn the Screws, Cake. Identified by Shadowfalcon

2. This pig harassed the whole neighborhood. Well this pig worked at the station. This pig he killed my homeboy so the fucking pig went on a vacation.

3. She said I know what it’s like to be dead. I know what it is to be sad. And she’s making me feel like I’ve never been born. She Said, The Beatles. Identified by Brooke

4. You say that it’s over baby you say that it’s over now. Still you hang around so come on won’t you move over. Move Over, Janis Joplin Idenditied by Brooke

5. There was a time when I was so brokenhearted. Love wasn’t much of a friend of mine. Cryin', Aerosmith. Identified by Dad (Uh, since when can my Dad identify Aerosmith songs?)

They are actually pretty easy too. Have fun!

Wednesday, September 27, 2006


I feel like it has been forever since I have posted anything. Granted I was out of town and, since being back, have been very busy at work and a little under the weather so I guess I shouldn’t feel too bad. I’ll start my return with a quick recap of the NY trip, which was great fun.

Thursday- Parents pick me up at the airport after having a hell time renting a car. You know when everyone before you in line takes like half an hour to do the same transaction that takes you two minutes, that’s what happened to them. I was fine because the weather was nice and I had a fantastic book to read. Pick up Shoshana and tool up to Tarrytown, a.k.a Sleepy Hollow to visit relatives. Have a very nice time. Eat delicious NY pizza. Oh how I wish they would make it for me here in Chicago. Bastards. Drive home. Realize that I have to share covers with Shoshana. I don’t even share covers with Tony. Complain. Resign myself to the fact and deal. It was fine.

Friday- Wake up to yummy croissants from delicious bakery by Shoshana’s house. Shoshana goes to work. I go back to bed. Eventually get up and experience funniest shower since Amsterdam at Shoshana’s house. The spigot is on the long wall of the tub and the curtain had been taken down to be washed. As I was the third person in the shower it was a veritable lake by the time I got in. Still enjoyed the shower. Go visit family friend Jason who recently moved to NY from Mpls. and has a nice place with a normal sized bathroom, which is a rarity in NY but no furniture. Jason mentions how he can’t find a good slice of pizza in NY, HUH?? Go to the Cloisters. If anyone has a chance to go to the Cloisters they should. They are beautiful and old and wonderfully peaceful. Hooray for that. Take picture of mom passed out like a bum, won’t post here because I would be disowned. Convince mom that waiting at the Cloisters for Shoshana is a bad idea. Instead meet her at her apartment and eventually go eat at Mario’s, which I am told is the restaurant where the scene in the Godfather where he gets the gun from the bathroom was filmed. Have a hilarious waiter who looks like Vince Vaughn but much younger and has a great NY Italian accent and gives little bits of advice such as “Always let the lady pick the wine. That way, if she doesn’t like it, she can’t blame you,” and “Give the lady the wine but give the check to the men.” Eat fantastic smoke mozzarella ravioli in a delicious sauce and Penne A la Vodka (Shoshana and I shared I did not eat two entrees). Pop over to delightful Italian pastry shop on the corner where the desserts are cheap and delicious. They actually give you cookies as appetizers. Feel fat. Go to Brooke’s house where we do nothing. Well we sit and drink and watch Oliver! This activity is actually not nothing. It is exactly the kind of thing we enjoy doing most. Plus it was Anya's first time seeing Oliver! and that is always fun. Great time.

Saturday- Drag my ass back to the Bronx and get in the car to York, PA for cousin’s wedding. Drive is 1.5 hours longer than Yahoo tells us. Park at 2:59 (wedding starts at 3). Delightful ceremony and yummy cake. Cousin Elise looks beautiful. Get back in car and drive to Bronx. Sleep.

Sunday- Wake up late. Eat fantastic brick oven pizza with eggplant and mushrooms. Did I mention how much I love NY pizza? Go back to Tarrytown and hang out. Drive to Chelsea to see “Little Miss Sunshine”. First stop and eat at a fantastic place that I believe is called F&B and they have many varieties of veggie dogs. I eat one with mushrooms and sautéed onions and some sweet potato fries. Delicious. Movie is also wonderful. Go home and sleep.
Monday- Wake up and say goodbye to Shoshana. Parents drive me to airport. I get on a flight two before mine SCORE. Get home and fall into couch. Tony makes me food and tends to my sickness.

All in all a great vacation.

Now, I am back at work much less sick although not better and have a start date for my Customer Service Class. Oct 5-6. Wish me luck. I am now seeing if I can fit my entire curriculum into the 2 days. Hopefully I will have students for my class. So far one has signed up. But I have time. Today must stay late to attend Jr. Board meeting even though it isn’t my job anymore. Person whose job it is has other meeting. It’s ok. Unfortunately, it is Top Model and Project Runway night and I really want to go home on time. If I didn’t have DVR this meeting would have to be cancelled. Since I do, it will be ok.

Oh, it’s back to the song guessing game time. I really like that time. In case you are new or forgot, I will put up the first line/lines of a random song from my iPod and then you put the song title and artist in the comments section. I will then add a link to the guesser's blog. Fun for everyone.

1. You turn the screws you tear down the bridge. Flimsy as it is, it’s business like.

2. I got a bad disease. Far from my brain is where I bleed. Insanity it seems has got me by my soul to squeeze. Soul to Squeeze, Red Hot Chili Peppers. Identified byMonica

3. This pig harassed the whole neighborhood. Well this pig worked at the station. This pig he killed my homeboy so the fucking pig went on a vacation.

4. You’re so gorgeous I’ll do anything I’ll kiss you from the feet to where your head begins you’re so perfect you’re so right as rain you make me make me make me hungry again. Why Can't I Be You, The Cure. Identified byMonica

5. I guess I should have known by the way you parked your car sideways that it wouldn’t last. Little Red Corvette, Prince. Identified by Mom

Friday, September 22, 2006


Being tagged is pretty neat. I guess it means I have arrived, kinda. And a tag about books is a great thing so I am happy to do it. Thanks Julie. Oh I am probably going to misspell many authors names, sorry.

1. One book that changed your life - hardest question first.

This is hard because there have been so many. I may have to go with "The Color Purple" by Alice Walker. It isn't one of my favorite books, although I do love it, but I think it was one of the first books I read about the "African-American women's experience" or whatever and that sparked a life pursuit of this type of literature. I think there are far superior examples but this one got it started, I think. I don't have the best memory.

2. One book you've read more than once.

This is a hilarious question because I have read almost every book that I remotely enjoyed more than once. I would guess that "The Little Prince" by Antoine De Saint Expurey is the most read book of my life. I would say I read it at least once a year, sometimes more. It only takes about an hour. I don't really even have to read it anymore, I just kind of turn the pages and the words appear imprinted in my lacking memory. I think this book could be the answer to every single question on this list. However, that would make for a very boring post and I would never get tagged again.

3. One book that you'd want on a desert island.
This is a toss up between two. It would have to be something very long and very fantastic. It would need humor, mystery, and conflict. It would have to be complex enough for many re-reads. I am going to go with "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand. I love love love this book. It has everything you would want in a story. Plus, Roark is sexy in his own busted way.

4. One book that made you laugh.

This is a hard question. I don't really read that may funny books. All the ones I mentioned previously have made me laugh, yet, when I think of a book that really tickled me I come up blank. I think I am going to have to go with "Notes from Underground" by Fyodor Dostoyevsky. This is not a funny book whatsoever. However, those first few lines "I am a sick man, a wicked man, I think my liver hurts" or something like that depending on the translation, are priceless.

5. One book that made you cry.
I really want to bring "The Little Prince" back on this one. I don't know what book has made me cry more than that one. Oh, "Watership Down" by someone Adams that made me cry. I don't really know why it did because it actually ends pretty well. I still cried. I had become very attached to those rabbits.

6. One book that you wish you had written.

"Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert Heinlein would be one I would be proud to have under my belt. This book was almost the answer to #1, #2, #3, #4, and #5. My mom read this to me as a bedtime story when I was about 13. Maybe it is strange that I got bedtime stories for that ling but it was quality literature so we'll just let it slide. To me, this story is a perfect explanation of human nature. It was just so beautiful. I didn't remember I cried until I thought about all the things that I could have answered this book as but man did I cry. Maybe I should switch answers. I'm too late.

7. One book you wish had never been written.

OK this may offend some people but I have got to be honest. "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" (by someone I can't be bothered to remember because the book sucked so much) was the worst thing I have ever encountered. I think that if you are going to have the balls to give your book a title like that you better either write the more satiric book ever or one of the best books ever. You can't pass off some depressing cancer story and call it good. It had been overdone and made me want to puke. Granted it was based on actual events so maybe it can't be faulted for being a cancer story but I just hated it so I don't care.

8. One book that you are reading at the moment.

I just finished "The House of The Spirits" by Isobel Allende a few hours ago and haven't had a chance to start another book so that will have to do. I absolutely loved it. I am going to be a little cliché and compare it to "One Hundred Years of Solitude," which probably belongs on this list somewhere, because it is by a Latin writer and chronicles the history of a family in a semi-magic world. It was a fantastic beautiful story and I kind of want to pick it up and start reading it again, something I did after finishing "One Hundred Years of Solitude" let's say that is why I am comparing them.

9. One book that you've been meaning to read.

Huh, that is a really good question. There are so many of them but none come to mind right now. I'll just say "The Curious Incident of the Dog at Nighttime" by ? because it is in my sister’s apartment and I have liked the cover for some time.

10. Tag five others that you'd like to do this meme...

I have always been kind of a chain killer but I'll pass this one to two big old bibliophiles
Monica and Jaclyn.

On another note, my sister has the funniest shower that I have seen since Amsterdam. Her showerhead is on the long side of the tub and she has no curtain. After three people used it, one of the drains in the middle of the bathroom floors in Amsterdam would have been very useful.

I don't have any music right now but my Dad and my Sister are singing "The Rainbow Connection" and they made me join in. That is the meaning of good times.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006


Have you ever spent a really long time on something that you just didn’t have to? I just found out yesterday that the 91-page Customer Service curriculum and 72-page student workbook. I created could have been avoided completely. I went online to check out the skills standards of the National Retail Federation (NRF) (see the aim of this program is to pass their test and I wanted to make sure I was covering everything) and was almost immediately contacted by an NRF rep. She started telling me that to teach their curriculum I would need to be trained by one of their staff. I explained that I had created a curriculum that was based on both their workbooks and other research. She essentially said oh, we could have saved you a lot of time. Yeah, it probably would have. I am wondering if I should get their training anyway, it seemed to be free and probably wouldn’t hurt the credibility of our program.

I really enjoyed writing the curriculum and it is a great skill/experience given that I want to be a teacher and all. I just wonder why no one seemed to know about this possibility. One cool thing about working on a brand new grant is that you get to figure these things out yourself. I assume, that if I ever get another new grant, that I will do a little more research on other options before putting fingers to keys for a good month. All in all, I learned a lot so it isn’t at all a bad thing.

I’m leaving for NY tomorrow for a cousin’s wedding and visits with family and Friend. I have gifts to prepare, packing to do, and CDs to burn. It is going to be a very busy night. I’ll most likely be out of commission until next Tuesday so don’t be shocked that my ever-reliable posts are on hiatus. Maybe I’ll come back with tales of wonderment. Maybe I’ll come back with more of the same old shit.

Oh, speaking of shit, Penn and Teller had this really great show last week about swearing. Personally, I love swearing. There were some people on the show, however, that did not. One thing I learned from these strange nonswearing people was the “full turkey.” See, this woman who hates swearing made up all these things to take the place of those nasty words. Instead of swearing she says things like Scuttle bucket and Santa Vaca. Essentially I deducted that the woman LOVES swearing but doesn’t want to look like she does. However, I digress, this woman is a Drivers Ed instructor and she wants to discourage people from flipping the bird because it is vulgar and awful. Instead she teaches them the “full turkey” You cannot do the “full turkey” while driving so she says that only the passenger can do this gesture. One could also do it at a stoplight. To administer the “full turkey” take your left hand, thumb pointing inward, and spread your fingers. Then ball your right hand into a fist and stick up your thumb as if you were hitchhiking. Place the flat side of your fist against your open palm and there you have it, the “full turkey.” You can flip off the world without being the slightest bit vulgar.

And now, some songs to remember me in my absence.

You Are Not Alone, Michael Jackson- See one day I was having this odd Michael Jackson moment and wanted to download all these bad songs of his, so I did. This was one of them. I can’t play it of like this is an excellent song. It is bad. I still enjoy it.

Magnolia, Apollo Sunshine- This song sounds oddly old. It isn’t. Although it sounds nothing like Blur’s Tender, it has that same “way after it’s time quality.” This band is fantastic. Thanks Monica.

Pass The Peas, The J.B.’s- The JB’s just are fantastic for a jamming groove. There is no better way for me to go on hiatus than this. You can just imagine me walking down the jetway to this tune. In case you were wondering, I look really cool.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006


I was watching “The Daily Show” last night and had a very horrifying revelation. There is a serious lack of thought going on today in our government. I know this isn’t really much of a revelation, we all knew it, but to have it shoved so simply in my face was truly depressing. See, President Bill Clinton was the guest on the show and when John Stewart would ask him a rather serious question he would take a moment, look down a bit, and think. I turned to Tony and said, “Look at him thinking,” to which he replied “Yeah, that’s really nice.” It was a very sad moment.

I don’t know if I have ever seen George W. Bush think. I have seen him pause, probably for dramatic effect so that he appears to be thinking, but I have never seen a true look of thought on his face. A sincere look that says, “Wow, that’s a good question, let me think about it for a second,” has disappeared from politics for the last 6 years. Hearing what Clinton is doing with his Global Initiative was so inspired and so focused. He actually was able to impart a sense of optimism and hope for change. I was like a crack addict for him. I’m not going to say he was the perfect president. I don’t think any president really was prefect. I just know that out of those that I have been around for, he was by far the best. He was personable without being an idiot. He was thoughtful without being a pompous ass. I actually believed that he cared about the country. I miss Bill Clinton.

I’m really glad to see that he is working hard to create a better world. That’s what someone with his connections should be doing. One interesting thing he said is that while the work he is doing now is free of politics so in a sense he can reach more people, he will never have the machinery behind him to effect change the way he did as President. It’s sad that the person with all that machinery behind them is generally so bogged down with things that they can’t truly focus in on anything and therefore truly make a difference in a positive way. I think it is much easier to make a negative impact on a society, as we can see today, when you are in that position. Wouldn’t it be nice if the UN was truly effective and we could move toward some world government type of situation that would actually work? Unfortunately, the world is full of people and people will always be selfish and power-hungry creatures. Sucks to be us.

Let’s hope for some happy songs

Pimpology, Too $hort- I really like Too $hort. As a female, I probably shouldn’t but there is something so pure about his music that I can’t disagree with. With him, you know what you are going to get, basic rhymes, a steady cadence, and songs about being a gangster. For what he does, he is the best.

It’s Good To Be Here, Digable Planets- Well let’s take a trip to the other end of the genre for a second. This stuff is also kind of what you see is what you get but, again, you can’t disagree with it. Bill Clinton would like the saxophone.

The World’s Address, They Might Be Giants- Well this is a totally different song from the other two. I don’t have much to say except that it is incredibly entertaining and, with they Might Be Giants, you always know what you’re going to get.

Monday, September 18, 2006


When you lead a life full of relaxation and procrastination you sometimes realize you have a lack of things to write about. Then, upon further reflection, you realize that you have a lot of advice to give people who simply can’t seem to relax and do nothing. With that in mind, I present “Ways To Keep Yourself Entertained Without Using Your Brain.” Before I start, however, let me issue a small disclaimer. I believe that use of the brain is important and should be done on a regular basis. I just know that sometimes, even a brain needs a vacation. Please realize that these suggestions should not be adopted as a typical way of life. I strongly suggest that you limit these activities to one day a week, maybe two if you are having a particularly mentally exhausting time. If you spend much more time than that

1. Purchase couch that is so incredibly comfortable that you rarely want to leave it. Someone could technically use a bed instead of a couch but then you run the risk of not getting out of bed all day and that is much worse than not getting off the couch all day.

2. Cover said couch in blankets and pillows to make it even more comfortable. It is still not a bed. Even if you end up sleeping there it is not a bed.

3. If you do not already possess it, order On Demand cable, preferably with a DVR. Any cable package with fewer than 300 channels is unacceptable. The “Dating on Demand” channel will provide you with hours and hours of entertainment. There is truly nothing funnier than a bunch of guys who really want a date. (Note: the girls, for some reason, are not as funny. Skip them unless you actually want a date). The random assortment of horrible movies at your disposal is more than any functioning brain can handle. Make sure brain is disabled before viewing such movies as: Over The Top, Dutch, Playing God, See Jane Date, or More Valuable than Rubies.

4. If you have not already subscribed, sign up for Netflix. Be sure to mix some decent viewing (decent is not equal to thought provoking) in with horrible but entertaining crap. Along with movies, be sure to have some TV series mixed in for when you have exhausted all TV series that are On Demand because you will not always have the attention span for a movie. For some reason it seems to be easier to sit through four 1-hour shows than one 2-hour movie.

5. Have something else nearby to distract you if cable/Netflix are no longer able to hold your attention. I suggest a pet. I suggest a pet such as fish because dogs and cats require more attention and therefore more brainpower. Fish have pretty colors and sometimes chase each other around thereby providing hours of uninvolved entertainment.

6. Have easy to manage food at your disposal or, make a lot of complicated food before settling into your comfy couch haven. I recommend having various deliver menus easily accessable. Micorwavable foods are also good. Anything that involves chopping is not good. Having pre-made delicious salads available is a good way to remain healthy while being lazy.

7. Have some mentally stimulating activities on hand, just in case. I recommend crossword puzzles, sudoku, and books. If you employ those tools, you still will not have to leave the couch, or even assume an upright position, as a board game would require.

8. Do not engage in these activities alone. That makes you pathetic. If you do these activities alone and then realize you are pathetic you will become mentally stressed out thus negating the relaxing activities that made you pathetic in the first place. In fact, the more people you have together doing these activities the better. Remember how much fun sleepovers were?

9. Make forts whenever possible. I have not made a fort in a long time but I think one lies in the near future. I certainly hope so.

If you follow these tips your brain will return to work well rested and ready to go. Happy relaxing.

Oh, having good music around is also crucial to relaxation. It helps when you are done with TV and are observing a pet. Some songs you may want to try may include:

Big River, Johnny Cash- The reason that Johnny Cash is good for relaxing is that you always know what to expect. This way you don’t have to use your brain. The music is good; it keeps your feet tapping. The songs are generally short so you don’t need much of an attention span. I highly recommend this.

Kyrie Eleison, The Electric Prunes- This song will make you feel as if you are under the influence of something relaxing. As long as you ignore the fact that it is essentially a requiem you won’t think much while listening.

Country House, Blur- Not only do you get to tap your feet but you get to hear about the horrors of the Rat Race. This is exactly what you are trying to escape. It will remind you that although you can live in a very big house in the country that nothing beats taking it easy.

Saturday, September 16, 2006


Ok so they put the posts of people's collections up on Blogging Project Runway so, of course, I had to add them here. I had to say, after viewing the collections I have a completely different idea of who could win this. For weeks I have been saying the final three will be Jeffrey Uli and Michael with it coming down to Michael and Jeffrey and Michael taking the win. I have completely changed my mind. I watched the slideshows of each designer twice and, if it were up to me, the order would be Uli then Jeffrey followed by the unexpected Laura and, unfortunately, with Michael bringing up the rear. I really hated to put things this way. I had no choice.

Uli's collection is not the exact same dress we have been seeing for the entire show. It has elements of that dress but she really changed it up and made a wonderful collection. There is maybe one strictly "rock n' roll" piece in Jeffrey's collection, and it's wonderful. So is everything else. The thing that could hurt him is, like Santino, his collection is very different than his challenge clothes. Laura had a wonderful classic collection; there were just too many feathers and sparkles for my taste. If I liked feathers and sparkles she would have probably been #1 on my list. Then we come to Michael. There is nothing particularly wrong with his collection but I just found it boring. Maybe it is just because I hate gold and am not all that fond of white.

I also have to keep in mind that not all four of them will make it to the "finals." They hinted that maybe only two would be there. On Blogging Project Runway many people speculated that every collection but Laura's contained swimsuits. That, of course, makes everyone believe that she was kicked out and the final challenge was to add a swimsuit to the collection. That makes a lot of sense and would make me feel better because the final three I chose would actually be the final three. Who knows? I think everyone should take a look at the designs and let me know what you think. They are interesting to watch at the least.

On an unrelated but tragic topic, my favorite Of Montreal song has been turned into an Outback Steakhouse commercial. I want to die. The song is still great though and I still love it.

And now, back to the shuffle game

Is Chicago. Is not Chicago, Soul Coughing- When I was in HS in Minneapolis, Soul Coughing was required listening. Even though the band was from NY, they had their biggest fan base in Mpls. Every show would sell out. They are just an incredibly fun and silly band that I will always enjoy. Most people, however, think they suck. Most people are wrong.

Midnight Blue, ELO- OK so ELO is kind of a guilty pleasure of mine. I own a 3 CD box set of ELO records. In my defense it was a really good deal. It was only like $10 more than the one ELO album I had intended to buy. I am glad I did. Most people, however, think they suck. Most people are right.

The Bad Photographer, St Enema Bag- Don't let the band name fool you, this is fantastic music. It has a happy upbeat groove going and you can't help but bop you head. This song sounds kind of like if “Letters To Cleo” were a really good band.

Friday, September 15, 2006


So I totally ignored Project Runway yesterday, bad bad Natalie. It was so nice to watch with Monica instead of sending a ridiculous number of text messages and calling each other every commercial break. I very much was looking forward to a Project Runway pie next week but then was thwarted because the stupid show won’t be on again until the 27th. I don’t know what they are trying to do to people. Don’t they know we need our fix? As much as I hate Laura, she deserved her win very much. Dresses on that episode were not cute. Hers was adorable. It fit a little oddly in the stomach area but I’ll let that go. Maybe I am making it up. Having Vincent and Angela back on the show was a total and complete mess. I think they made the most awful things they could have possibly made. It was nice to se Vincent and his bogus ways again though. Seeing Kayne go was not a happy moment. It was a moment that I knew was coming and had to come but I did like that guy. He seemed like such a nice boy. In two weeks I am guessing Laura will be out of there. It could be Uli though. Michael will win simply because they will not let Jeffrey win. Michael deserves it though. I’m not saying he doesn’t. He is my favorite!

I read on Damien’s blog that some bus driver in Louisiana assigned the black children to seats in the back of the bus. Not only that but all nine black students in two seats. The little ones were made to sit on laps. That is so racist that I laughed for hours. I deal with racism by laughing because there is really little else that I can do. I also heard a story that one of my-coworkers was asked if the college she went to was a “school for coloreds.” Who says coloreds in 2006? Apparently old white security guards at the city courts that’s who.

To wrap up this insane day I will leave you with this thought. There is a Mexican restaurant in Milwaukee called Nacho Mama and, in this restaurant, there is a little person who wears a wooden sombrero with chips and salsa. Apparently you just take a dip as the guy walks by. Or, as another co-worker mentioned, you just follow him around the restaurant snacking. This gave me a wonderful picture of hilarity. I almost want to go to Milwaukee. But I don’t.

And now, for the reveling of the unguessed songs, I’m sure you are drooling with anticipation.

1. A flask I drink of sober tea while relay cameras monitor me. There was no way anyone was ever going to guess this song. While I was sure I knew what it was it took me forever to actually find it out. It is Group Four by Massive Attack.

2. Standing like John Wayne she is full frame she is center stage. There are some people out there who could guess this song but it wasn’t easy. It is If It Isn’t Her by Ani DiFranco

3. Your Flesh Finds Me Out. Teases the crack in me. Smittens me with hope. I kind of thought this one was easier than it appeared to be. It is Possibly Maybe by Bjork.

4. Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all or if he moves will he fall. This one, although it hasn’t been up long is the easiest song ever and I am shocked that it remained blank. It is Iron Man by Black Sabbath. Oh, it didn't remain blank. Jaclyn identified it. I just didn't see her comment until after I posted this. One may assume that she cheated but she didn't. She certainly knows this song.

Thursday, September 14, 2006


Yesterday I got a call from Tony while at work. We talked a little bit and then he told me that I had a blog. I couldn't deny it. You may wonder why I wouldn't tell him about it? I never say anything bad about him; in fact everything I say about him is pretty good. I actually would enjoy if he enjoyed my blog. I explained that the reason I didn't tell him was that he would spend a lot of time making fun of me. He has a very cynical sense of humor and makes fun of my space and blogs in general so I didn't think I would be spared. He makes fun of me a lot. Not in a mean way, he is a very nice boyfriend; he only makes fun when I'm obviously a dumb-ass. I will believe just about anything if someone who loves me tells me its true with a straight face. Once, when I was 13, my father told me I was adopted. I look a lot like both of my parents and there is no way that I'm not their child. He had me in tears until my mother came home (it seemed like hours but probably wasn't) and gave him a talking to and convinced me that he was full of shit. That is the kind of fun that Tony makes of me. I don't blame him. I would make fun of me too if I were him.

Another thing Tony says about me a lot is that I steal his thunder. Tony is a hilarious guy and sometimes I like to repeat funny things he has said. Sometimes I don't give him the credit he deserves. I bought my Dad a copy of Assassination Vacation for his birthday and told him it was a great book that I thought he would enjoy. This was true. I had read it and thought of my Dad. However, I never would have read it if Tony hadn't bought it first. Stolen thunder. I did end up telling my Dad that I heard about the book from Tony. Apparently, a good percentage of my blog is, according to Tony, stolen thunder. He is probably correct. Yesterday, when I said galoshes in my blog, which was stolen thunder. See as we were leaving the house in the morning he had asked me if he should put his galoshes on. I just liked the word. I suggested he get his own blog but he told me that no one would look at it because it would be just the same as mine. Most of the things that I write about doing I do with Tony. He feels he doesn't get enough credit for being around when fun things happen that I end up writing about. I suppose he is right. I think everyone should assume that 90% of what I do I do with Tony. We watch all movies and TV shows together. We ride the train together in the morning. We talk about random topics together all the time. Basically Tony and I are connected at the hip.

As I explained about all the good things I wrote about Tony he said I made him look silly. Like yesterday, see he likes Rocky but he doesn't like Rambo as much as I thought he did. Months ago I wrote that Quasi was his favorite band. Apparently they stopped being his favorite band even more months ago. Personally, I think liking Rambo and Quasi are completely acceptable things. For your information, he currently is between favorite bands.

So, In case anyone had missed it (and Tony thought that people could), I have a boyfriend named Tony and he does things with me and is very clever and funny and great.

Being that it is Thursday there is only one more day to guess these crazy songs. I realized that the ones left are a bit difficult but I think someone should get #4. Let's see what happens when I add #5. Well, after adding it, I think someone should get 5 too.

1. A flask I drink of sober tea while relay cameras monitor me.

2. Standing like John Wayne she is full frame she is center stage.

3. Your Flesh Finds Me Out. Teases the crack in me. Smittens me with hope.

4. Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all or if he moves will he fall.

5. Gimme a ticket for an airplane. Ain't got time to take a fast train. The Letter, The Boxtops. Identified by Monica

Wednesday, September 13, 2006


Today is wet. I need a raincoat and galoshes. That really isn’t all that big of a problem though. I need to gripe about very serious pressing issues like fashion and celebrespawn.

Problem 1- Suri Cruise

Typically celebrespawn don’t bother me at all. They generally entertain me. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was one of the most beautiful children I had ever seen, but I didn’t care. The Spears-Federline children have all my best wishes that they do not end up mentally incompetent like their parents. I don’t have much hope, but I truly wish them well. Pilot Inspektor Lee is probably my favorite child simply because his name is Pilot Inspektor. Sage Stalone is my only hope of convincing Tony that Sage is a good name (thank God he likes Rambo and Rocky). This comment should be followed with the fact that I am not planning to be pregnant anytime soon for any of you who might care. Now Suri Cruise is an adorable child. She simply is not the child of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. There is no way she can be. One of her parents is obviously Japanese. I have tried desperately to see a glimmer of either of her parents in that precious little face and I have failed miserably. Her impeccable slightly olive skin, the thick black hair, her precious deep brown eyes all point to parents other than the ones she is reputed to have. The fact that I just saw a picture of Cruise and Holmes with Cruises obviously Black child from his previous marriage didn’t help me keep the faith that Suri is who they say she is. Maybe I am wrong, but it is Wednesday and its wet and I need to whine.

Problem 2- Macy’s Displays

All displays (that I have seen) in Macy’s are hideous. As I walk through the store to get to the train, I am assaulted with the rebirth of the legging. I am a huge fan of dresspants and skirtpants combinations. I can even deal with some of this legging resurgence if paired with the right outfit. Whoever is putting these outfits together, however, needs a serious kick in the head. The worst of all culprits is the shortslegging outfit. Yes, you heard me. A pair of relatively fitted tweed shorts with a wide cuff with leggings underneath. Oh and the leggings are sickeningly similar in color to the shorts. WHAT? These are shorts people. Why would anyone put a legging underneath them? Not to mention the top of the outfit is equally hideous but the monstrosity of the shortsleggings overshadows the v-neck tunic over cowl neck sweater with large belt (I may be mixing up two hideous mannequins but you get the picture). Ok, so that deals with the indoor displays. The windows make me want to cry. Marshall Field’s had impeccable windows. There was color, texture, variety, and creative posing to lure you inside. Now there are windows with mannequins in traditional boring poses in monochromatic clothes (that aren’t even that cute). Not to mention the Goth revival windows. Who said Goth was back? Maybe I missed it but I really hope that is not the acceptable thing to be wearing this season because I will be completely off the mark.

Extra Kudos to Julie for getting the Punky Brewster Theme Song yesterday! She is a girl after my own heart. Now for today's selection.

1. A flask I drink of sober tea while relay cameras monitor me.

2. Standing like John Wayne she is full frame she is center stage.

3. Your Flesh Finds Me Out. Teases the crack in me. Smittens me with hope.

4. Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all or if he moves will he fall.

5. I don’t believe I went too far. I said I was willing willing willing. Past The Mission, Tori Amos. Identified by Brooke

Tuesday, September 12, 2006


Today is a boring day. I haven't really done anything. I didn't really do anything last night either. I made boring food and watched a good movie. Unfortunately, although it was good, I don't have much to say about it. It was The Player with Tim Robbins. I have a bit of a huge crush on Tim Robbins. He is the kind of guy I would like to be around. His character in this movie, however, is not the kind of guy I would want to have around. I want to marry Hudsucker Proxy Tim Robbins. "You know, for kids." That has to be one of the greatest movies ever made. The Coen Brothers are a pair of cinematic geniuses. I want to lick everything they have ever done. Well maybe not everything but a lot of things.

I am thinking about grocery shopping. I am thinking about it because I kind of want to start having Project Runway Pie. Just think, fashion and dinner pies. I would really like to make a spinach, mushroom, feta, and sun dried tomato pie. Unfortunately I don't have ingredients or money to buy the ingredients. My fish need to eat. Damn. I'll have to start Project Runway Pies next week. Tomorrow I'll have Project Runway Pasta. I could have Project Runway Rice and Beans but it doesn't roll off the tongue quite as well. Plus if Monica comes over she can't eat that. I wonder if she is coming....

So Lizza guessed Hide Your Love Away yesterday but even though it looks to me like the link and post worked it isn't showing up. Maybe it's just on my computer that it doesn't work.

1. A flask I drink of sober tea while relay cameras monitor me.

2. Standing like John Wayne she is full frame she is center stage.

3. Your Flesh Finds Me Out. Teases the crack in me. Smittens me with hope.

4. Maybe the world is blind. Or just a little unkind, don't know. Every Time I Turn Around (The Punky Brewster Theme) Identified by Julie

5. Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all or if he moves will he fall.

Monday, September 11, 2006


A fun weekend was had by all. I'll just give a few highlights and try not to be too wordy. One thing is certain; I do think that friends are very nice to have around. Although Friend is gone, Monica is in town for the next 3 months. This means that I will have someone to watch Project Runway with that actually cares. Well, Tony might kind of care but he would never admit to that. Since I already wrote about Friday I'll start with Saturday.

After much sleeping and other silliness, I was able meet Monica at the airport. We then went to a BBQ with her father's friends. With the exception of someone's niece, we were the youngest people there by a good 35 years. One person asked us why all the women were together and not talking to the men. Easy answer is that it is more of an age thing than a sex thing. We were able to get out of that because we had to attend a "play" about prostate cancer that Monica's brother was in at 6:30. It was really a 15-minute skit amid a dinner/awareness night about prostate cancer. Everyone was dressed up. Not black tie but dressed up. We were dressed like we dress. Fine, but not dressed up. So by 7:30 dinner has not been served nor has the 15 min skit started. We ended up getting goodie bags. I really liked these fold up pens. Chanda really liked the female condom and after we had run away from the event (fixing plates, eating, and sneaking out pre-skit) made Monica open it. Lube was everywhere. I was in the back seat so it wasn't as scary for me.

We are driven to the train and eventually make it to the B-Day party for Friend B and Friend J. Party is good. Fridge is filled with about 150 cans of Pabst. There were lots of people though so it's cool. It promises to be an event. Monica and I proceed to have personal karaoke with my iPod, complete with dancing moves in the lawn where the dog poops. We succeed in not stepping in poop. We do not succeed in not looking like assholes. Apparently there is a dark video of these dances. When it was suggested it went on Youtube I said please no while Monica said YES. I think this blog is embarrassing enough for me. I think that’s all that needs to be said about that party. I made it home about 3:30. Monica, Tony, and I then proceeded to watch Project Runway that she had missed. Sleep happened at about 5:45.

Sunday was going to be a day of watching Football on my couch and heading to a beach picnic. None of that happened. All parties involved slept in a lot. I was awake but not functional so I count that as asleep. We were functional about 3:45 so football was missed. Lots of walking took us to Dinner and to Dave's where the picnic was supposed to hail from but since we had eaten and it was rainy that was also not to be had. Friends left, I hung w/Dave to wind down and was home by 9. I slept.

Today, I am awake and at work. It is not the best idea. Luckily it is move offices day, which does not take all that much brain power. I was half asleep all morning. I am ok now.

Roxanne sent me a Blogthings quiz about what Muppet you are. I was very pleasantly rewarded with this

You Are Rowlf the Dog

Mellow and serious, you enjoy time alone cultivating your talents.
You're a cool dog, and you always present a relaxed vibe.
A talented pianist, you can play almost anything - especially songs by Beethoven.
"My bark is worse than my bite, and my piano playing beats 'em both."

It had been said many times before but computer has now proved it. So there Monica.

My mom mentioned that I had stopped doing the shuffle game and she liked it. I liked it too. I think that I will finish out this week with the guessing game and then alternate weeks between the two. That also means that at the end of the week I ca identify all previously unidentifiable songs and you can all hit your heads and go "I should have known that," or not. This is the plan until I find a new fun thing to do and then I will have even more alternating. Hooray

1. A flask I drink of sober tea while relay cameras monitor me.

2. Standing like John Wayne she is full frame she is center stage.

3. Your Flesh Finds Me Out. Teases the crack in me. Smittens me with hope.

4. Here I stand head in hand turn my face to the wall. If she's gone I can't go on feeling two foot small. Hide Your Love Away, The Beatles. Identified by Lizza

5. Maybe the world is blind. Or just a little unkind, don't know.

Saturday, September 09, 2006


Last night was a great time, seeing friends, meeting new people, and encountering complete alien types. I was taking it pretty easy on the drinking part, being that I am utterly broke, and only had two beers through the course of the night. This is only to inform people that I was very sober and none of this is drunken hallucination.

After an incredibly normal time at The Hungry Brain we went for a "nightcap" at The Closet. I think it was about 1 at the time. The Closet was a fairly scary place. It was a mixture of a club and a small neighborhood bar. So while it was just a bunch of people drinking there was a loud George Michael and I think it was Aretha Franklin duet blasting along with the accompanying video. I have nothing against George Michael or Aretha Franklin; in fact I enjoy them both very much. Together it was strange. The videos continued to be odd but not as odd as what was going on outside. First a man with 9 rolls of toilet paper walked to what we thought was his apartment. We figured he had gone inside as he had walked to a door and disappeared. He came back about a minute or so later and continued walking down the street. Option 1, he was drunk and didn't know where he lived. Option 2, he took a piss. I thought it was very funny for a man with that much toilet paper to be peeing on the street but hey, whatever. Then I look out the window and see a group of people pushing a girl in a shopping cart. I thought that was awesome but then noticed the last guy in their group had a video camera so it became less spontaneous and more contrived and I no longer liked the girl in the shopping cart. In fact when we had toasted her as she passed the window we immediately regret it as we were then caught on camera. Boo camera guy.

So we leave the bar and thought we would go for another nightcap down the street because apparently there is a place where they make birthday people drink a shot out of an inflatable sheep's ass. That sounded great and since it was Friend's birthday it made sense. Unfortunately we got there at 2 and the place was closing. No worries, getting there was half the fun. Although it was only about a 10-minute walk we met some nice people. First there was a guy who wanted to take a picture with us. We didn’t want to. He followed us around (maybe because Dave told him "go away you’re boring" or maybe not. So he comes up and starts talking to us. Friend says, "Why are you talking in that fake British accent?" He replies with "I'm Australian, this is how we talk," hilarious and true. Friend hit her head in a "Doh" moment. Then his lady friend comes to take our picture and we notice this guy has no shoes on. To make it stranger his lady friend had on the most intense Moon Boots one had ever seen. Very odd.

We walk about 15 feet father and are accosted by a guy who starts talking about his friends. Dave demands to see said friends and if he doesn't produce them refuses to listen to his story. The guy keeps following us because he wanted nothing to do with his friends and apparently we are a "reputable group". So he goes into a long story where he is explaining about his bogus friends we are walking fast and shaking our heads as Dave is still talking. Friend runs across the street to escape a red light and we discover that guy wanted fifty cents. Dave has a moment of genius "Well I don't know if I can give you fifty cents, let's see, no I can't, I can give you sixty. Now disappear". About a block further down the street we spy a man eating Thai food off a mailbox and he has a lady with him who somehow ends up jumping onto Dave and wrapping her arms and legs around him with a "Happy Friday," he takes off and starts running her across the street. Her sandal falls off. We kick it over, because we want it to be upright when she gets to it and we don’t want to touch random lady's shoe and she is all like "why are you kicking my shoe" Huh, strange. We keep walking and find the bar is closed. After a long train ride and walk home where I had to pee terribly I made it to my door and eventually fell asleep on the couch. Tonight is a lovely birthday bash and we'll see how crazy that one gets.

And now for the guessing game.

1. A flask I drink of sober tea while relay cameras monitor me.

2. Standing like John Wayne she is full frame she is center stage.

3. Your Flesh Finds Me Out. Teases the crack in me. Smittens me with hope.

4. 25 years and my life is still trying to get up this great big hill of hope for a destination. What's Up, 4 Non Blondes. Identified by Mom (she is so cool for knowing that)

5. There are places I remember all my life though some have changed. In My Life, The Beatles. Identified by Lizza

Friday, September 08, 2006


So I'm a day late on my Project Runway update but what an episode it was. Although one of my favorites (because of personality not clothing) was booted, it was his time to go. Vincent was a treasure trove of comedic genius. From the basket hat in Episode 1 to his recent erotic connections to his clothing, the man was always good for a laugh. His clothing reflected the fact that he had been out of the fashion world for the past 20 years (I mean he put shoulder pads in an evening gown that happened to be glued together) but he seemed like a fine person and I would like to have dinner with him. I truly would have liked to see Laura go, her clothes are always boring and make me want to die. Unfortunately, the judges tend to like her. I don't get it.

Although Michael made a hideous dress, his past successes and his sincere effort allowed him to pass through on this challenge. Oh and the fact that most of the clothes in this episode were awful didn't hurt. I was scared for him for a second but I knew that the judges wouldn't let such talent go. Uli and Jeffrey were hands down the victors in this challenge. I think Uli's dress was more wearable but, to me, couture clothes shouldn't necessarily be that wearable. I always think of them as those fabulous things you see on a runway show and would laugh your ass off at someone on the street sporting the exact same garment. Maybe my definition is off. Who cares? Jeffrey went crazy with his yellow plaid print that reminded me of these awful orange plaid bellbottom pants that I had the audacity to rock in college. I wore a lot of strange things in college. I must say my taste has matured, although my affinity for embroidery and headscarves will always remain. I just won't wear it every day.

I have chosen my final PR contestants. Michael, Jeffrey and Uli. I wouldn't be all that surprised if the judges let that monstrosity called Laura in but I really hope not. An entire collection of low cut cocktail dresses would put me straight to sleep. I am really pulling for Michael to win this season. I think he is just awesome. I hope the judges don't disappoint.

As for our musical foray, only one of the original 10 songs remains thanks to Jaclyn and Stephanie. I think I'll give it until Tuesday to be guessed and then reveal it to the world. It is a rather random and obscure song though. Extra cool points to anyone who can figure it out. Two new songs to add. Horray.

1. A flask I drink of sober tea while relay cameras monitor me.

2. Standing like John Wayne she is full frame she is center stage.

3. Your Flesh Finds Me Out. Teases the crack in me. Smittens me with hope.

4. 25 years and my life is still trying to get up this great big hill of hope for a destination.

5. Beautiful girl love your dress high school smiles oh yes. Gone Daddy Gone, Violent Femmes. (although it could have been Gone Daddy Gone by Gnarls Barkley but it wasn't) Identified by Hella

And for something else totally random.

Your Linguistic Profile:
55% General American English
20% Yankee
15% Upper Midwestern
5% Dixie
0% Midwestern

I guess this makes sense since I went to college in NY and grew up in MN. I have no idea how that Dixie got in there though? The South scares me.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006


When you talk to most people about their favorite genre of movie, few would include the Musical. I am one of those few. I love a Musical more than is acceptable in normal society. I do not claim to have seen every musical but I would say that I have seen more than many people. Some of my favorites include My Fair Lady, Fiddler On The Roof, Oliver!, Jesus Christ Superstar, and The Sound of Music. If I have left out any of those that I particularly love I am sorry to you my dear friends. Last night, while watching “The Muppet Show” (oh and I suppose all true Muppet movies are musicals of a sort and I love them all) they put together a fantastical recreation of the jousting scene from “Camelot. I must admit that is a musical I have not seen. My mom says its good though. Anyway, the premise was that they were not allowed to do the true jousting scene without paying royalties so instead they ripped off many other musicals in a wonderful amalgamation of musical tribute.

They introduce the Queen, who happens to be Pearl Bailey, and she bursts on to the scene with Hello Dolly. Next the jousters are introduced and bring in their horses with a wonderful rendition of Paul Revere from “Guys and Dolls”. The jousters (Floyd and Gonzo) then broke into Anything You Can do I Can Do Better. I don’t know what musical that is from but I know the song and I am curious. Does anyone know? Then Piggy jumped in with A Boy Like That from West Side Story (oh yeah that is one of my favorites too) and they closed it all out with Everything’s Coming up Roses and I also don’t know what that is from. So I guess what I am trying to say is I am not as well versed in musicals as I thought and I am upset about that.

I am, however, well versed in Muppets. I don’t know if anyone else loves those little guys as much as I do. I have a constant internal debate about “The Muppet Movie” vs. “The Great Muppet Caper” and which is the top Muppet film in my eyes. While “The Muppet Movie” is a definite classic and The Rainbow Connection is a song for the ages, something about a human man being madly in love with Miss. Piggy is an absolute gem. Also Bouregard has a fantastic part in “The Great Muppet Caper” and he is my favorite unsung Muppet. Of the main characters I have to give it up for Fozzie Bear. He is adorable and hilarious. People used to tell me that if I were a Muppet I would be Rolph but then they met Monica and she looks more like a Rolph than I. Now I don’t know what Muppet I would be. Sad.

This is probably one of the most pointless posts I have ever had. I really anted to talk about the wonders and glory of the Musical but I was totally sidetracked by fluffy creatures that dance really funny. Oh well. I still had fun writing it. I guess the point is to tell me what I should watch.

I may be absent the next few days. I am of work Thursday and Friday, which seems like it would be conducive to writing, but I have things to do. I have to finish a painting for Tony tomorrow and then Friday I am going to see Friend. Yeah for friend! Maybe I’ll get to it. Just don’t be mad at me if I don’t. If you care at all, which you probably don’t. Whatever.

Now, for the songs to guess. We need to add one new one to round it back out to five.

1. The boy done wrong again. Hang your head in shame and cry your life away. The Boy Done Wrong Again, Belle and Sebastian. Identified by Jaclyn

2. A flask I drink of sober tea while relay cameras monitor me.

3. You're gonna break another heart you're gonna tell another lie. There You Go, Johnny Cash. Identified by Stephanie

4. Standing like John Wayne she is full frame she is center stage.

5. Your Flesh Finds Me Out. Teases the crack in me. Smittens me with hope.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006


I miss Steve Irwin. I have to admit that in recent years I have looked to other wildlife daredevil types rather than the old staple Crocodile Hunter. My favorite is the guy who yells the name of whatever animal he encounters "Octopus, octopus, octopus" and is in general a total spaz. However, you can never discount the original. He truly was an entertaining guy.

Ok, so I had just written this very sweet post about Steve Irwin and it got deleted somehow when I tabbed away from the page. I only hope this recreation of the post is as endearing and wonderful as the original had been. I’m sorry if it isn’t.

There was a time when shows about some guy running through the wild were rare and, if they existed, were very dull. Not anymore. Who do we have to thank for that? Steve Irwin. He brought an excitement and enthusiasm to nature shows that had been sorely lacking. He allowed us to look at our primal instincts. He let us all revert to a conquer or be conquered relationship with the natural world around us. He fulfilled something that most of us are lacking in the concrete jungle, a true relationship with Mother Earth.

I would be lying if I said I never wanted to see him get his face bit off. I think that is part of his charm. Because he was playing with the unpredictable, there was a sense of urgency and danger in everything he did. Every episode triggered my “fight or flight” response. It also triggered my long suppressed bloodlust. You would think that he was mauled by a croc or something but I knew that couldn’t have been it. I mean he had those crocs in check. It was apparently a freak stingray accident. See a stingray can hurt a human but generally won’t kill. This particular sting just happened to pierce his heart. Part of me really wants to see the footage of this accident. Don’t lie, part of you does too. Or maybe you don’t and I have just been revealed as a sick and twisted individual. Oops. I also wonder if his wife was shooting this footage, I heard she did a lot of the camera work on his shows. That is so tragic to think about that I don’t want to and will now stop.

Instead of continuing with the unidentified songs I will instead select a few to go down in history as Odes To Steve Irwin. Wanna hear it, here it goes.

Little Wing, Jimi Hendrix- Not only is this one of the greatest songs ever; it had a line that just fit. “Butterflies and zebras and moonbeams and a fairy tale. That’s all she ever thinks about, riding with the wind.” See change she to he and you got a Croc Hunter theme song. Just nature at its best.

Let’s Do Everything For The Fist Time Forever, Of Montreal- Ok so I happen to be in the midst of a sick Of Montreal obsession but this song is just sweet and youthful and magical, like Steve Irwin. I want to watch TV like I was watching Croc Hunter for the first time and have that same excited exhilarated feeling forever.
Don’t You Forget About Me, Simple Minds- I won’t forget about you Steve, you will always be in my heart. Let’s give it one big “Crikey!” for old time’s sake.

Sunday, September 03, 2006


I love reading. It’s probably one of my favorite things to do. Unfortunately I don’t read as much as I used to because I am too lazy. It would seem that reading is a perfect activity for a lazy person. However, watching TV is much easier. My reading is often banished to the 35 or so minutes a day when I am on the train. To make matters worse, I am often reading the mindless Red Eye paper on the train or doing the crossword and sudoku that they name the Pop Quiz Duo or something equally inane. After I am done with that, I am lucky to read for 15 minutes. Utterly depressing.

The other day I needed something to read and I went to the library of my former GED class because they had quite a collection. After browsing for a while I picked up The Stranger by Camus. I thoroughly enjoyed the first few chapters on my ride home. Then the horror struck. It seemed everywhere I went I heard about President Bush reading The Stranger and calling it “A fine short read,” or something like that. I typically don’t worry about what people on the train think about the books I am reading but now, I worry. What if they think I am reading The Stranger to be like Bush, or because he gave it the good old thumbs up? That is completely embarrassing. So, if anyone happens to see me on the train reading, it’s because I had heard good things about the book and enjoy existentialism as much as the next fella. Not because our moron of a president thinks it’s a good read.

Speaking of the President reading, I enjoyed the segment about it on “Real Time With Bill Maher. I enjoyed it despite the fact that it was another place I heard them talking about Bush reading The Stranger. They made a really good point though. Should President Bush have enough time to read 60 books this year? Answer, hell no! Not even if these 60 books are as short as the stranger and he is a really fast reader. Does anyone believe he is a really fast reader? As the panel said, that is a lot of time reading for a man who goes to sleep by 9pm, works out daily (maybe he reads while working out but I think that may be hard for him), and has a country at war to run. Not to mention that he doesn’t read the Newspaper and is proud of that fact. Anyway, I’m glad he reads. I wish he could apply some of that knowledge of the world gained through Literature to the task at hand. Good luck.

I should also mention that my dear friend Roxanne came by yesterday. I have known her forever. We met in baby swim class I was 6 months old and she was 11 months old. The fact that we are still friends is awesome. We didn’t do much, went out to eat at a Thai place down the street and just sat and talked at my house. She could only be over for about 4 hours because she had to go to a wedding rehearsal dinner for her Cousin Kate’s wedding. It was still great to see her. I hope we get to spend more time together soon.

Since not all the songs have been guesses from last time I am going to continue this game with the remaining songs and one more to round it out to five. There are still a few easy ones left.

1. The boy done wrong again. Hang your head in shame and cry your life away.
2. I can't stand it I know you planned it I'm gonna set it straight this Watergate. Sabotage, The Beastie Boys. Identified by Lucy
3. A flask I drink of sober tea while relay cameras monitor me.
4. You're gonna break another heart you're gonna tell another lie.
5. Standing like John Wayne she is full frame she is center stage.

Friday, September 01, 2006


I somehow managed to drag my ass to work today after miraculously waking up a mere second before the alarm 3 times. I am not the drinker I once was so the three glasses of wine I drank in celebration kind of gave me a bit of a hangover type feeling. And I have cramps (sorry for that extra information but the description of how I am feeling right now wouldn't be complete without it). I just zoned out there for a good 30 seconds. Anyway what I am trying to say is that I do not feel like a member of the all-new Cool Club, of which I am in fact the secretary/treasurer. It may seem odd that I am the secretary/treasurer of this club and not the president since I made it up but there is a good reason. I am not cool enough.

So who is the president of this Cool Club? Well it was actually a bit of a hard decision. I picked Tony. Is he cool? No. But out of the people I know I decided he was the one who can best communicate with people from various backgrounds and has no problem talking to different people so he gets to be in charge. Maybe I was having a bit of a "True Romance" moment, "you're so cool, you're so cool". Tony did not feel he deserved this title and told me that Monica would be a better cool club president. In some ways he is right. She is a pretty cool lady. Unfortunately, as I told her last night, she is too much of a snob to be president of the cool club. I don't mean snob in a bad way though. I love Monica. I just think there are some people she wouldn't talk to that Tony would talk to. Either way, they are both cooler than me. Will actually wanted to be in the cool club. That floored me. Since he asked he can be in the club. But he can't hold any office. Anyone asking to be in a cool club full of nerds is not cool enough to hold office.

On a somewhat depressing note, Feedback is the new Superhero. I think he is really boring. He truly does want to be a superhero more than anything else in the world though so good for him.

Instead of the shuffle game today I am going to borrow from fyrchk who I don't know at all but happened upon her blog from much random searching and saw her iPod game. It lists the first lines from 25 random songs. Since my posts are already far too long I will opt for 10 random songs. People can then post comments identifying what these songs are. Fun huh? Oh I am not including songs that I couldn’t identify because I don't want to have to think about any answers and that will make it easier for everyone. Oh, and maybe I don’t understand some lyrics, if you feel the need to correct me please feel free. When the songs have been guessd I will edit the post and say who got them. Partial correct guesses don't count. Let's play.

1. The boy done wrong again. Hang your head in shame and cry your life away.
2. I can't stand it I know you planned it I'm gonna set it straight this Watergate.
3. There is freedom within there is freedom without. Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup. -Don't Dream it's Over, Crowded House. Identified by Lucy
4. I like to dream yes yes right between the sound machine. - Magic Carpet Ride, Steppenwolf. Identified by My Mom
5. She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak.- Heart Shaped Box, Nirvana. Identified by Lucy
6. Sometimes I can see for miles. Through water and fire. From England to America.- Beautiful Feeling, PJ Harvey. Identified by Lizza
7. A flask I drink of sober tea while relay cameras monitor me
8. Following the shadows of the skies. Or are they only figments of my eyes.- Sea Of Joy, Blind Faith. Identified by Mom
9. Give me one more chance and you'll be satisfied. Give me two more chances you won't be denied.-Even Better Than The Real Thing, U2. Identified by J
10. You're gonna break another heart you're gonna tell another lie.

Ok Lady I love you bye-bye