A NIGHT OF STRANGE MEETINGS

Last night was a great time, seeing friends, meeting new people, and encountering complete alien types. I was taking it pretty easy on the drinking part, being that I am utterly broke, and only had two beers through the course of the night. This is only to inform people that I was very sober and none of this is drunken hallucination.

After an incredibly normal time at The Hungry Brain we went for a "nightcap" at The Closet. I think it was about 1 at the time. The Closet was a fairly scary place. It was a mixture of a club and a small neighborhood bar. So while it was just a bunch of people drinking there was a loud George Michael and I think it was Aretha Franklin duet blasting along with the accompanying video. I have nothing against George Michael or Aretha Franklin; in fact I enjoy them both very much. Together it was strange. The videos continued to be odd but not as odd as what was going on outside. First a man with 9 rolls of toilet paper walked to what we thought was his apartment. We figured he had gone inside as he had walked to a door and disappeared. He came back about a minute or so later and continued walking down the street. Option 1, he was drunk and didn't know where he lived. Option 2, he took a piss. I thought it was very funny for a man with that much toilet paper to be peeing on the street but hey, whatever. Then I look out the window and see a group of people pushing a girl in a shopping cart. I thought that was awesome but then noticed the last guy in their group had a video camera so it became less spontaneous and more contrived and I no longer liked the girl in the shopping cart. In fact when we had toasted her as she passed the window we immediately regret it as we were then caught on camera. Boo camera guy.

So we leave the bar and thought we would go for another nightcap down the street because apparently there is a place where they make birthday people drink a shot out of an inflatable sheep's ass. That sounded great and since it was Friend's birthday it made sense. Unfortunately we got there at 2 and the place was closing. No worries, getting there was half the fun. Although it was only about a 10-minute walk we met some nice people. First there was a guy who wanted to take a picture with us. We didn’t want to. He followed us around (maybe because Dave told him "go away you’re boring" or maybe not. So he comes up and starts talking to us. Friend says, "Why are you talking in that fake British accent?" He replies with "I'm Australian, this is how we talk," hilarious and true. Friend hit her head in a "Doh" moment. Then his lady friend comes to take our picture and we notice this guy has no shoes on. To make it stranger his lady friend had on the most intense Moon Boots one had ever seen. Very odd.

We walk about 15 feet father and are accosted by a guy who starts talking about his friends. Dave demands to see said friends and if he doesn't produce them refuses to listen to his story. The guy keeps following us because he wanted nothing to do with his friends and apparently we are a "reputable group". So he goes into a long story where he is explaining about his bogus friends we are walking fast and shaking our heads as Dave is still talking. Friend runs across the street to escape a red light and we discover that guy wanted fifty cents. Dave has a moment of genius "Well I don't know if I can give you fifty cents, let's see, no I can't, I can give you sixty. Now disappear". About a block further down the street we spy a man eating Thai food off a mailbox and he has a lady with him who somehow ends up jumping onto Dave and wrapping her arms and legs around him with a "Happy Friday," he takes off and starts running her across the street. Her sandal falls off. We kick it over, because we want it to be upright when she gets to it and we don’t want to touch random lady's shoe and she is all like "why are you kicking my shoe" Huh, strange. We keep walking and find the bar is closed. After a long train ride and walk home where I had to pee terribly I made it to my door and eventually fell asleep on the couch. Tonight is a lovely birthday bash and we'll see how crazy that one gets.

And now for the guessing game.

1. A flask I drink of sober tea while relay cameras monitor me.

2. Standing like John Wayne she is full frame she is center stage.

3. Your Flesh Finds Me Out. Teases the crack in me. Smittens me with hope.

4. 25 years and my life is still trying to get up this great big hill of hope for a destination. What's Up, 4 Non Blondes. Identified by Mom (she is so cool for knowing that)

5. There are places I remember all my life though some have changed. In My Life, The Beatles. Identified by Lizza