Wednesday, September 13, 2006

WHINING ON A WET WEDNESDAY

Today is wet. I need a raincoat and galoshes. That really isn’t all that big of a problem though. I need to gripe about very serious pressing issues like fashion and celebrespawn.

Problem 1- Suri Cruise

Typically celebrespawn don’t bother me at all. They generally entertain me. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt was one of the most beautiful children I had ever seen, but I didn’t care. The Spears-Federline children have all my best wishes that they do not end up mentally incompetent like their parents. I don’t have much hope, but I truly wish them well. Pilot Inspektor Lee is probably my favorite child simply because his name is Pilot Inspektor. Sage Stalone is my only hope of convincing Tony that Sage is a good name (thank God he likes Rambo and Rocky). This comment should be followed with the fact that I am not planning to be pregnant anytime soon for any of you who might care. Now Suri Cruise is an adorable child. She simply is not the child of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. There is no way she can be. One of her parents is obviously Japanese. I have tried desperately to see a glimmer of either of her parents in that precious little face and I have failed miserably. Her impeccable slightly olive skin, the thick black hair, her precious deep brown eyes all point to parents other than the ones she is reputed to have. The fact that I just saw a picture of Cruise and Holmes with Cruises obviously Black child from his previous marriage didn’t help me keep the faith that Suri is who they say she is. Maybe I am wrong, but it is Wednesday and its wet and I need to whine.

Problem 2- Macy’s Displays

All displays (that I have seen) in Macy’s are hideous. As I walk through the store to get to the train, I am assaulted with the rebirth of the legging. I am a huge fan of dresspants and skirtpants combinations. I can even deal with some of this legging resurgence if paired with the right outfit. Whoever is putting these outfits together, however, needs a serious kick in the head. The worst of all culprits is the shortslegging outfit. Yes, you heard me. A pair of relatively fitted tweed shorts with a wide cuff with leggings underneath. Oh and the leggings are sickeningly similar in color to the shorts. WHAT? These are shorts people. Why would anyone put a legging underneath them? Not to mention the top of the outfit is equally hideous but the monstrosity of the shortsleggings overshadows the v-neck tunic over cowl neck sweater with large belt (I may be mixing up two hideous mannequins but you get the picture). Ok, so that deals with the indoor displays. The windows make me want to cry. Marshall Field’s had impeccable windows. There was color, texture, variety, and creative posing to lure you inside. Now there are windows with mannequins in traditional boring poses in monochromatic clothes (that aren’t even that cute). Not to mention the Goth revival windows. Who said Goth was back? Maybe I missed it but I really hope that is not the acceptable thing to be wearing this season because I will be completely off the mark.

Extra Kudos to Julie for getting the Punky Brewster Theme Song yesterday! She is a girl after my own heart. Now for today's selection.

1. A flask I drink of sober tea while relay cameras monitor me.

2. Standing like John Wayne she is full frame she is center stage.

3. Your Flesh Finds Me Out. Teases the crack in me. Smittens me with hope.

4. Has he lost his mind? Can he see or is he blind? Can he walk at all or if he moves will he fall.

5. I don’t believe I went too far. I said I was willing willing willing. Past The Mission, Tori Amos. Identified by Brooke

10 comments:

Brooke said...

Friend, have you seen the pic of "suri cruise" supposedly taken in a mall 10 years ago? It's the same pic as the vanity fair cover. I wouldn't go in for this stuff, except, as you said, the kid is Japanese. Yeah.

Oh - 5. Past the Mission

Julie said...

Yay! I'm sorry to say that I have no idea what any of the other lyrics are. You are just too indie rock cool for me.

My Brooke's surname is Allen, and I live in Inver Grove Heights, MN.

Mom said...

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman adopted a bunch of kids and didn't have any that were biologically theirs. If I recall, this led to speculation that maybe Tom wasn't into women. He vigorously denied this (as I recall).

Would these two have gone to the extreme of faking a pregnancy and a baby? Who knows...

More on musicals: If you ever want to have a good cry, see Carousel. It's excellent and very tragic, in (I think!) the classical sense as well as every other sense. The used book store down the street was having a $1 sale on records, and I bought a recording of Carousel, thinking of you and musicals. (They also had a recording of Pete's Dragon, but I did not buy that!)

Natalie said...

so apparently my posting in Firefox makes my blog look like hell in Intenet Explorer. sorry

Kiyotoe said...

wow.....mom has the makings for a great conspiracy theory. The fake pregnancy would explain all of the secretive, cloak and dagger stuff.

Maybe it took so long to get a picture of Suri because they had to find the right baby for the part and then made sure all the paperwork was finished.

Hmmmm...........

Mrs. Loquacious said...

Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say Suri Cruise looks Asian (being Asian myself). However, IMHO, she bears a striking resemblence to a certain Chris Klein, previous boyfriend of Katie Holmes and bearer of distinct, slightly Asianish features (for a white dude).

Dad said...

Sorry Nat,

That kid has Mr. Crusise's eyes

Natalie said...

That kid looks just like Mr. Pickle my japanese/sweedish friend from grade school. But Maybe she is theirs.

Natalie said...

oh and wouldn't if be funny if it were Chris Klein's kid. We'll know if the baby is tall.

katrice said...

Your mom's right. His kids with Nicole were adopted. Isabelle and Connor, I think. (Why do I know that?)

Anyway, the first time I saw the kid's picture, my husband and I looked at each other and said the same thing: "That ain't their baby." The baby is clearly half-Asian. I thought the eyes were blue though, which would be so pretty. Meh, my bedroom TV is small. Who can tell blue from brown on it.

I like your blog! Just visiting for the first time, today.