PROBLEMS WITH THE TRAINS

So remember yesterday how I was all delayed on the train? Today I found out that there had been a gap in the rail on one of the other lines. I am very glad I wasn’t on that line and that they got the problem fixed. Apparently, yesterday was just a very bad day for trains in Chicago in general. Before my delay some electricity went out on the brown/purple line track and they had to get workers out there to hold up signs for the train conductors. That is super special. Then, Tony got stuck on the trains later in the day because apparently someone launched herself in front of the brown line.

I am going to be a very mean person for a paragraph or so here, consider yourself warned. Suicide is always a selfish act in my opinion. Only someone incredibly self-centered would take themselves out and leave such a mess for their friends and families. However, suicide by public transportation is a whole different kind of selfish. You know that it will hold up the lines and keep people from getting where they need to go. Your death could cause someone to be late to the job interview of their life and change their path forever, possibly resulting in another suicide down the road. Maybe someone was on their way to the hospital for the birth of their child. I don’t know why they wouldn’t opt for a cab in that case but maybe they just didn’t have cab money. Is your death so important that keeping someone from the start of their child’s life is ok? Then think of the train conductor. They have to live the rest of their lives knowing they ran someone over. Even if that conductor were me (and hopefully whoever was driving isn't quite as callous as I am), I would feel bad (on top of being really mad at them for taking my time and making me have to write up some sort of accident report) about driving that train and may have to quit my job.

Then, on the generally uneventful Metra, some unassuming Police officer was shot and killed in his squad car. It actually happened at my co-worker’s stop right around the time she was getting off the train. She saw the guy’s car in a parking lot across the street with the lights on. I guess he patrols from there sometime. However, these people said they noticed him in his car and reported it, which she says is crazy. As his car was parked in an empty lot across the street from anything and it was dark, how did these people see into his car, past the beams of the headlights, and notice he was slumped over. So the question is, why were they close enough to see?

Huh, this has been an utterly depressing post. As a transition between this horrid stuff and the wonderful music that I enjoy so much I will give you one of the cleverest misheard lyrics I have come across in a while. “Lady Elaine, lay across my big brass bed,” for those of you who don’t know the lyric is “Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed,’ and Lady Elaine is a very strange, and rather unattractive, puppet from Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. Why anyone would want her laying across their bed is a total mystery to me.

Yesterday people guessed almost all my songs. I was very impressed. Then again, as I said, those songs were pretty easy. We have one left and anyone who hung out with me in 8th grade should know it. I don't think many people in that category read this though. Four new songs will follow.

1. This pig harassed the whole neighborhood. Well this pig worked at the station. This pig he killed my homeboy so the fucking pig went on a vacation. Pigs, Cypress Hill. Partially identified by Monica and fully identified by an unknown person.

2. It’s a still-life watercolor of a now late afternoon, as the sun shines thought the curtain lace and shadows wash the room. The Dangling Conversation, Simon and Garfunkel. Identified by (I called it again) Mom.

3. When I had you to myself I didn’t want you around. Those pretty faces always made you stand out in a crowd. I Want You Back, Jackson 5 (certainly not Puff Daddy) identified by a different unknown person.

4. I am walking out in the rain and I am listening to the low moan of the dial-tone again and I am getting nowhere with you and I can’t let it go and I can’t get through. Both Hands, Ani DiFranco. Identified by (who called it) Brooke.

5. Monday morning wake up knowing that you’ve got to go to school. Tell your mom what to expect she says it’s right out of the blue. Expectations, Belle and Sebastian. Identified by (3 of 4 ain't bad)Monica

Damn, this shit is easy too. Well maybe not quite as easy as the last group but there are some readers out there who I know are perfectly aware of what those last four songs are. Like I can almost promise that my Mom knows 2 and maybe 3, Monica has 3 and 5 (unless Jaclyn gets 5 first), and Brooke has 4. I suppose I could be wrong though.