Friday, August 25, 2006


What started out as me watching a show just because the title was really fun to say turned into a hour of realization and amazement. On what I think was the discovery channel there was a show called Humanzee about a chimp named Oliver who was strangely human. I put it on the DVR because I had to watch Who Wants To Be A Superhero (good-bye Major Victory, I miss you already here's to hopes of a Fat Mama victory because Feedback scares me) and as soon as it was over I turned to Tony and said HUMANZEE HUMANZEE. Maybe people other than me have heard of this Oliver. Apparently he is like 47 years old and was a big star back in the day. This guy looks like a chimp, kinda, but walks upright. Big deal you say, all the monkeys can walk. While that is true, they can't walk for long without going knuckles down. Oliver just strolls around and shakes people warmly by the hand I tried to add a picture but it didn't work cause I am a lame but there is a nice article about Oliver on Wikipedia and you can see more. Wow I made a link, I hope it works. It was thought that maybe Oliver was a human-chimp hybrid but after decades of debate it was discovered that he is a chimp but has an odd DNA sequencing pattern. Maybe he is like some kind of evolutionary intermediary creature. Anyway, he was nice.

However, Oliver was not the only thing of interest in the Humanzee show. Possibly more interesting was the Liger. I assume everyone has seen Napoleon Dynamite and knows that the Liger is "only like his favorite animal". I did not know that a Liger was real. Apparently they are not only real but they are HUGE! The growth regulating gene is on the male lion and the female tiger (or vice versa) and they breed them the way that there ends up being no growth regulating gene. The liger eats like 2-3 times as much meat as either the lion or the tiger does. The liger was cute and fat. Who knew?

Of course I have to mention that Pluto is certainly no longer a planet. I knew it was smarter to make it a non-planet than to admit all those other non-planets to planet status.

Finally, while watching the Today show this morning before work (I know its lame but sometimes fascinating things happen) I learned that Jesus is back. This evangelical guy from Puerto Rico is running around saying that he is the second coming. He is also saying that sin is not real, the devil doesn't exist, and prayer doesn't help anything. The guy doesn't sound all that bad. Apparently people give him a lot of money but he certainly doesn't require it so, whatever.

Maybe our musical choices today will have divine inspiration.

Sour Times, Portishead- While back in the 90s I think many people I knew considered Portishead as a group to have reached the status of a minor deity I may not go that far. I am always happy to hear their wonderful music. I just kind of wish it hadn't been this song. It's really good and all but I am kind of over it. I mean it has been a long time.

A Collection Of Poems About Water, Of Montreal- I think that "The Gay Parade" is essentially my favorite album right now. It makes me incredibly happy. I can't even let a tiny sour look come on my face when this is on. I love all songs on the album, a very rare occurrence. It just flows so perfectly. It reminds me of bedtime stories I would tell people about magic and wonder and goofiness.

Rush Hour, Ani Difranco- This song kills me. It is so incredibly beautiful and sad. I think of all those I mentioned today this has the touch of the divine. Not that I am saying it's a religious song, because it isn't, but it just speaks to humanity and primal emotion. Awesome.


Kyma said...

It's going to take me a while to get used to the Pluto astronomy thing. I'm so used to thinking there are 9 planets in this solar system.. even if Pluto was rather odd.

Thanks for the comments on my blog.

should-be-working said...

Okay, first of all, Oliver sounds suspiciously like a few of my uncles in reading the description. Second, there is NO WAY Jesus could come from Puerto Rico. The reason Jesus isn't from Puerto Rico is because God couldn't find a virgin or three wise men. Everyone knows that Jesus is of Mexican descent, because Jesus is a Mexican name.

MJF2 said...

Friend, damn you. You get more comments than I do. I think it's for the best now that I think of it.

RastaManErn said...

We've got these weird ass waterfowl here. There are ducks and swan, surely, but there are also (don't know the names) these red-headed divers, and some black-odd-flipper-white-headed ...things. So, apparently last summer there was a lot of cross-breeding going on, so now we have fat-short-necked swucks (swan-ducks), diving black-things, ducks with red heads, and this one thing with two heads and 3 feet that died 2 days after it was born.

Natalie said...

Man that is some scary stuff. I am shocked that a two-headed three-footed freak survived that long.