THREE DAYS OF WOODSY FUN

The main point of our vacation was to spend some time at my friend Stephanie’s cabin. Her great grandfather built this place way up north in Minnesota and her grandfather added a second cabin so he could have some peace and quiet when all the grandkids came. It is now a getaway that her family shares. We planned for three days of boating, floating in the lake, and general fun in the sun. After the four-hour drive up North (complete with traffic for no reason) we parked and then it was straight onto the boat! I’m glad we did it because it would prove to be the only time we would get out on the water.

(Steph, Ryan, and Rachel on the boat)

It was cold at the cabin. We hadn’t packed for it. Luckily I took a few long sleeved shirts from my father before we left because without them it would have been horrible. There were a few hoodies in the cabin as well and they also came in handy. A few times we even resorted to wearing our bathrobes because they were one of the few things with sleeves that we had at our disposal. Despite the cold, we were able to eek out a good time.

Steph’s cousin, Christian, who once lived with Monica and I for 9 days and deserves a special place in the roommate horror stories was also at the cabin with five of his friends. Steph and I had tried to coordinate with Christian so that our stays would not overlap, and they weren’t supposed to, but then the day before we were going up Christian called me to say how excited he was that we would be up at the same time. I tried my best to remain jolly sounding on the phone. Not that I am anti-Christian, that time has passed. However, we were bringing six people and two dogs up there and it just didn’t seem like it would be as comfortable. I figured they had been up there for seven days already so….

It turned out ok. Christian’s roommate Rachel was a blast. She was pretty sick and tired of her group so new blood was welcome. She came out on the boat with us and Ryan taught her how to skip rocks. She saved the pair of goggles that Ryan dropped in the lake trying to do a Navy Seal type dive off the boat making her utterly awesome in our opinion. The first night there was a BBQ and plenty of ruckus campfire fun.

(The second cabin and our usual haunt, the fire pit)

Christian’s group was leaving the next day but not until midnight, which seemed strange to me, but whatever. They spent most of the day sitting around doing not much and not cleaning up all their mess and leaving us to handle most of it in our one remaining day at the cabin. For some reason that didn’t seem quite right but, whatever. Tony and Ryan went for a hike and I made them yesterday sandwiches for the road. They were gone for hours and I thought they may have died but eventually they wandered back. Ryan is an eagle scout and all.

I tried to put together an incredibly difficult puzzle because I thought it would make me seem smart. I shouldn’t have been so ambitious. It was a round puzzle with a painting of wolves on it. The entire thing was various shades of brown and a few shades of green for pine needles that were scattered throughout. Every piece looked the same. It was about half done by the time we had to leave the cabin. To my credit, Christian’s group had started an easy puzzle and left the identical sky pieces unfinished. Roxanne and I tackled that in no time.

(Getting started on the wolf puzzle)

Steph’s boyfriend, Aaron is a master at fire making. Without him we would have froze even more than we did. He had a great method of drying out logs on the side of the fire pit to add when they got just right. He tended that fire like it was his child. We also made excellent food the whole time we were there. In retrospect, it was a pretty great time after all. Not what we expected, but it worked out fine just the same.

BREAKFAST AT LYLE'S

After some wonderful sleeping I awoke to the most fabulous blueberry pancakes and scrambled tofu made by my wonderful Father. Awesome. We tooled around for a little while and then headed off to Liquor Lyle’s. There is no place like Lyle’s for early morning drinking. They have wonderful cheap two for one specials and honestly won’t make you just one drink. They also have great food and we got some broccoli tempura and guacamole for snacking.

After we had been at Lyle’s for a little while a man and a woman, whose names I can’t remember, came in. They loved Tony, Ryan, and I. Why they loved us I just don’t know but they really wanted to be friends. The woman was an ex Timberwolves cheerleader and she loved to clap loudly. What energy. We talked about Kevin Sorbo, Elvis, and anything else under the sun. As Tony and Ryan stepped outside for a smoke I chatted for a bit. They wanted to know who was single and I said that Ryan was. They mentioned that he had nice feet and that Tony seemed like a great guy to have. I agreed. They tried incredibly hard to get us to come to hidden beach with them. They made cheers and even got the bartender to talk to us and try to entice us to go. We were a little scared. I mean it’s nice to be befriended and all but they had just a little too much energy to be comfortable. They offered us beer and a great time but we were a little leery. Plus, we had to go to the Mall of America to get some mugs at Legoland. Our new “friends” thought that was an incredible lame idea, and it was. Yet, it wasn’t scary like the beach with a woman who has self professed man hands and her equally as overexcited friend.

The mall was brief. We got mugs, said fuck a lot in Legoland and then felt bad because of all the children, and looked around the former Camp Snoopy where the guys didn’t believe me that one of the rides got stuck for hours and people had to go to the hospital. They asked the cookie stand girl who confirmed it. Ha.

Then it was off to one of my favorite places in the city the hidden waterfall that Brooke and I “discovered” one day while walking in the woods around the Mississippi (see Tony and I below). We found a spot to sit, cracked open a cold one and communed with nature. We heard voices and were slightly scared that some lame people were going to come and ruin our tranquility. Ryan suggested that they were a preacher and an artist. We laughed. When they arrived we offered a beer and they accepted. It turns out that the artist was a comedian that travels around with the Renaissance Fair circuit and the Preacher was also a comedian but gets paid by people to rip on their friends. He conceded that in a way it was like speaking for a congregation. Nice going Ryan.
We then headed back to the house for an awesome BBQ mastered by my father. That guy sure can cook. Tony is still talking about the chicken he made. Cousin Molly and Aunt Naomi also stopped by and it was great to see them. To cap off the night we played a huge amount of God of War, a game I got my father for his birthday in January and he had not played for more than five minutes. We played for much longer. I guess all Dad needed was for someone to show him how it was done because by the time we got back from the cabin he had beat the game!

Vacation Day 2, done!

BACK IN THE REAL WORLD

Vacation was a great time. It did not go entirely as planned but it was truly awesome. Being back from vacation, however, sucks buttholes. There will probably be many posts detailing the stages of vacation but I got to start somewhere so I’ll start at the beginning, Minneapolis.

The drive to Minneapolis was rather uneventful. I got in the car and drove. I stopped as little as possible. We left later than I had wanted to and we had dinner reservations at The Dakota for my parent’s anniversary and my Uncles Birthday because they are on the same day. Note to anyone who knows me: If you get married on June 5th you are a dick and I am not your friend anymore. Thanks to Mommy changing the reservations we had a very delicious dinner. I got a drink that made me a little wack-a-do (champagne, pomegranate liqueur, and vodka) but then it wore off really fast and I was completely sober. The couple at the table next to us hated our party because we like to laugh and do not always have inside voices. Whatever, the man had a bright red suit jacket on and they were lame. Ryan, Tony, and I left the club and went bar hopping in the Uptown area. Actually, they hopped and I drove. I’m so awesome.

Bar 1. Rudolph’s
This place is real ok. It would be nice after work or something. It has a bit of a big cushy booth feel to it. Ryan and Tony were convinced they had ordered $8 beers because they were huge and full of Guinness. I reminded them that they ordered the special and we were in MN. They didn’t believe me until we got the check.

Bar 2. Mortimer’s
This place is real great. They have every single bar game imaginable and some. We were incredibly excited to play air hockey (Tony and Ryan were very excited about $8 pitchers) and got three games worth of quarters. Tony and Ryan played the first round and I was to play the loser. Then this group of ruckus looking individuals put some quarters down on the table claiming the next game. That was ok. While they were playing we put our quarters down. Somewhere during the game I think the quarters disappeared. That was to be expected though because one of the guys was playing like a madman. He was slamming the puck left and right. When they were done we were going to play but noticed he left the thing you hit the puck with quite bloody. Never mind.

Bar 3. Was supposed to be Liquor Lyle’s but ended up being the C.C Club
I was at this bar for my 21st birthday. It is still a great bar. The people are chill and a motley crew, but in a good way. It’s a place where bikers, emo kids, and hippies can hold pleasant conversations. We enjoyed ourselves. We would have liked to be at Lyle’s but I haven’t been in Minneapolis for a while and was on the wrong street. Oops. Never fear. Lyle’s stories will follow.

Bar 4. The Bulldog
This bar used to be one of my favorite restaurants in the Twin Cities, The Mud Pie. While I was growing up it was the only Vegetarian restaurant around. I could be wrong about that but it seemed like it. They had awesome enchiladas and a great Middle Eastern platter. It had the most wonderful smell. Sadly it is now a bar but at least it is a nice seeming bar. While there Ryan suggested to Tony that they take a biking/rafting trip. They would bike somewhere and then raft down the Mississippi for a while like Huck Finn. I thought this was hilarious. Tony knew it was slightly hilarious. Ryan thought it was totally doable. They did bike from Chicago to Milwaukee after all. I was talking about how horrible their trip sounded because it wouldn’t have bathrooms and showers and beds and this girl at the bar likes what I had to say. I think she liked Ryan too.

We then walked back to the car and I drove the scenic route home taking the boys around the lake where my friends and I used to drive and drink, but not at the same time. We would trade weekends and one person would drive around the lake and the others would drink from the huge gallon jug of amaretto. The boys laughed at how responsible that was as I relived the experience. Then we went home.

As we opened the bed it must have been caught on the plug for the table lamp because when we laid down there was a loud thunking sound and the light went out. The next morning I looked and it appeared the bed had somehow broken the outlet in half. I realize as I am typing this that I neglected to tell my parents this. Mom, Dad, this is why there is a broken outlet sitting on the bedside table in my old room. Sorry.

End day one.

Oh, no random songs because my iPod won't go to the menu and all I can listen to is Billy Idol. I have 9 Billy Idol songs. This thing better fix itself soon.

CATCH YOU ON THE FLIP SIDE

Everyone knows that I love TV. Most people know that I love reality TV. I do not apologize for these feelings. That is just how it is. My big three as far as reality shows go are Project Runway, Top Chef, and America’s Next Top Model. I watch plenty of others but those have been the only ones I can’t miss, until now.

Although it may surprise Monica, my new guilty pleasure is not Rock of Love, although I will certainly catch that if it happens to be on or watch it On Demand when I have nothing else to do. That is some funny stuff. No, my new love is none other than VH1’s The Pick-up Artist. I know, I know, the subject matter is disgusting. Why would someone like me who finds the club scene revolting and is all for the feminism (in the true sense) want to watch a show that teaches men how to pick up women? The answer is simple. Pure entertainment.

I hear the main guy, Mystery, is the fella they molded Tom Cruise’s character in Magnolia after. Apparently, his system for picking up women is foolproof and there are nerds all over the world following his plan and having crazy sex. From what I understand the system doesn’t lend itself well to establishing real relationships, which could be a problem. Then again, if you don’t want a relationship, who cares? The thing is, the guys on the show seem to want to meet someone special, or at least some of them seem to feel that way.

Sadly, my favorite trainee, Spoon, left last night on what was only the second episode. Masi Oka’s reject twin was a ray of light on that show. His crippling phobia of the female was absolutely endearing, and he seemed like a genuinely fun person. This is Spoon after his makeover. The other assorted freaks and geeks are more pathetic and I find it much harder to cheer for them. Joe D, who can only be described as the token rosy-cheeked-jolly-fun-tubby-guy-who-never-gets-laid (every frat has one) might be my new favorite. Spoon was so terrified about talking to girls in clubs that he decided to leave the show rather than subject himself to talking to more girls in stressful situations. I liked how he exited though. He said he had already seen a change in his confidence level and that he would be taking it slowly on his own time. The pressure of the show was just too much for him. I can respect that. I’m just sad because I wanted to see him turn into a playa!!!

I will be out of commission for a little while as Tony and I are about to GO ON VACATION!!!! Yeah!!!! We will be driving to Minneapolis tomorrow for a few days with the family and then heading up to a friends “cabin up north by the lake” (some people will know why that is funny) for a weekend of boating and general nothingness. Awesome. See you on the 27th (or maybe before if I feel like it).

Peace.

MANIC MONDAY- DROP

The Manic Monday word for today is Drop. Visit Mo to see other Manic Monday participants.

One of my old students was officially dropped from her new program today. It was a great opportunity, a paid training program in landscaping with internships with the city parks. She loved it. She came into what can only be called a series of unfortunate events which ultimately culminated in her termination. However, as she had been doing so well, her program director called a meeting of people in her network so we could see what her next steps would be. I went to the meeting, her counselor was there, we were supposed to conference in her case manager, but no student. She had officially dropped out. The meeting was short. Her chance to get back into the program was over.

When I was working with Wards of the State, I was constantly confronted with students who had been dropped from one thing or another. The biggest drop they experienced was that from their families. In some cases, families really tried to hold on to the students that ultimately ended up in front of me. In others, their families simply didn’t care. Either way, it set up a mentality in many of them that there was very little in life that they could control. They then were dropped from various educational institutions. Even though some of those drops were self-selected I think, in many cases, they could have been prevented by the use of better support networks. By the time I met them, they were jaded and distrustful of authority.

When we would schedule meetings to discuss their futures, goals, problems, etc., they would often fail to show up. Sometimes, when we would see changes in behavior the student would drop off the face of the earth before we could even schedule an intervention. While frustrating, I have come to see two things that I think contribute to the students dropping their obligations. The first is that if a student has a problem and a meeting is scheduled to fix that problem the student perceives that the adults will be making a decision as to their future for them. They don’t believe that they will have a true voice in the discussion. Therefore, they see the meeting as a waste of time and drop it. Secondly, dropping out of activities becomes a sort of self-assertion. They are finally in control of something that impacts their future and they want their decision to be heard. The sad thing is, not too many people are going to listen to a dropout, with obvious exceptions of course.

When I think of all the young men and women who are out there, who are not in school nor are they working I wonder what they are doing. What are their reasons and what is their motivation? Are they asserting their independence, albeit in a misguided and detrimental way or are they merely under the impression that their actions are inconsequential and therefore action itself is worthless? What can we do to fix this problem? How do we get them to drop back in?

The unguessed songs from last week are below.

2. And I tell you everything/ And hope that you won’t tell on me/ Not give you anything/ And know that you won’t tell on me. Softer, Softest. Hole

3. So here it is/ Fuck it/ Friends or no friends/ I’ve had enough bullshit to last me clear to the end. On The Down Low, Pharcyde

FOODIE FRIDAY- PORTOBELLO STEAK

I think my readers must think I live only for the mushroom. This is not true. I have merely cooked some rather delicious mushrooms lately. Without further ado, I give you Portobello Steak.

Marinade:
-¾ cups olive oil
-1/8 cup soy sauce
-1 tbsp red wine vinegar
-Juice of one lemon
-3 cloves garlic thickly chopped
-Many sprigs of rosemary
-Enough water to cover the mushrooms

However many large Portobello caps you need (1 per person)

-Soak mushrooms in marinade overnight
-Grill or cook in a sauté pan over med-high head
-Serve with steak sauce on the side.
Enjoy

I served this with the Spaghetti Squash Pomodoro from last week to have a very filling meal that, according to sparkpeople.com consisted of about 167 calories, 26g carbs, 6g fat, and 5g protein (1 mushroom, 1tbsp steak sauce, and 1.5 cups squash).

Funny text message of the day:
“You say funny things when you sleep. Like you had your eyes open and talked nonsense for like thirty seconds”

1. You snake/ You crawled/ Between my legs/ Said want it all/ It’s yours you bet. Snake, PJ Harvey. Identified by Brooke.

2. And I tell you everything/ And hope that you won’t tell on me/ Not give you anything/ And know that you won’t tell on me

3. So here it is/ Fuck it/ Friends or no friends/ I’ve had enough bullshit to last me clear to the end

4. Speak Low/ When you speak love/ Oh Summer day withers away too soon/ Too soon. Speak Low, Identified by Mom. This version happened to be Billie Holiday.

5. Good feeling won’t you stay with me/ Just a little longer/ Always seems like you’re leaving/ when I need you here just a little longer. Good Feeling, Violent Femmes. Identified by Brooke.

MCCAIN: WHAT A DICK

This morning I was watching a few minutes of TV and saw a mini interview with Senator McCain. In the interview Matt Lauer (of at least I think that s who that guy is) asked him three hard questions that had nothing to do with politics. His answers made me want to die.

Q: Would you put an asterisk next to Barry Bonds’ home run record?
A: As a fan of baseball, yes I would.

Granted, I am not a fan of baseball, I could care less about the sport. The thing is, and I could be wrong because I obviously don’t care, that it hasn’t been proven that the man was on steroids. He hasn’t ever tested positive and he hasn’t admitted to using, although allusions have certainly been made. Given that, how can you put an asterisk next to his record for all time merely to say the man was suspected of something? What happened to the whole innocent until proved guilty thing?

Q: If you owned a radio station would you rehire Don Imus?
A: Yes, I believe in redemption and that people deserve a second chance.

Personally, I believe the man should have been fired. There are plenty of shock jocks still out there and I see no reason why we would want to rehire Imus. Then again, as the owner, McCain would be incredibly interested in the profitability of his station and having such a controversial host would certainly boost the ratings.

Q: If you went into your fifteen year-old daughter’s room and saw her diary laying on her bed or her facebook/myspace page open on the computer would you read it?
A: Yes, then I would tell her that I read it.

Really? Really? What a dick. The facebook/myspace page is in the public domain so I don’t see any reason why he would have to sneak into her room and catch a peek if he wanted to look at it. I can even see some merit in a parent knowing what is going on with their teenager’s online profile. That seems totally reasonable. The diary is where I have issue. A diary is full of your most private thoughts, and unless you give someone permission to read it you just don’t go there. I don’t care if he is curious to see if she is using drugs or screwing the captain of the football team. If a parent wants to find out those things they raise their children to be honest and then they talk to them in an honest and open fashion. Hopefully their kids will trust them enough to be honest. However, if you go around reading your children’s diaries, they certainly won’t trust you and won’t be as likely to talk to you about serious issues when the time comes. Maybe this opinion will change when I am a parent but I certainly don’t think so. Even a child has a right to their privacy.

On a totally different note, let's visit the Fun Text Message of the Day!
“Hulk Hogan keeps the keys to his segue in his fanny pack.”

1. You snake/ You crawled/ Between my legs/ Said want it all/ It’s yours you bet.

2. I am just a new boy/ Stranger in this town/ Where are all the good times/ Who’s going to show this stranger around. Young Lust, Pink Floyd. Identified by Danielle.

3. And I tell you everything/ And hope that you won’t tell on me/ Not give you anything/ And know that you won’t tell on me

4. Well there’s a light in your eye that keeps shining/ Like a star that can’t wait for the night/ I hate to think I’ve been blinded, Baby. Why can’t I see you tonight? Fool in the Rain, Led Zepplin. Identified by Katrina.

5. So here it is/ Fuck it/ Friends or no friends/ I’ve had enough bullshit to last me clear to the end

IT'S ALL HAPPENING AT THE ZOO

I took Monday off of work so that Tony and I could go to the zoo, the Lincoln Park (free) Zoo to be exact. We haven’t been in a long time and zoo trips are one of our favorite things to do. Our first date was actually a picnic at and a walk through the zoo. There is something about animals that just makes the day brighter.

Every time I go to the zoo I get pushed by small children. I don’t stand right up next to the glass because even though I am incredibly short I am usually taller than the children running around the zoo. I think that by standing a little back from the glass I give them a chance to get close and see the action. They don’t seem to appreciate my courtesy. Instead, they push me aside. Why they would push me to the side when there is a perfectly good space right in front of me I may never figure out. I hate kids at the zoo.

Being a Monday, the zoo was slightly less crowded than our usual weekend trips. This was a good thing. There were far fewer children to push me. Being 90 degrees, the animals were all sleeping. That was a little disappointing. Regardless, I had some new zoo experiences.

New Experience #1: The Barn
We had heard there was a petting zoo and were very excited to be able to get there early enough to go to it. The thing was that as we walked around the barn area we saw no opportunities to pet animals. There was a mama pig with piglets scrambling for a teat but no way to pet them. There were cows with big eyes and wet noses but no way to pet them. There were sheep; wooly and sedate but still, no way to pet them. Then we came upon goats. There was a lady in the pen with them as well as some small children. Hooray!!! We could pet goats. We stood in line and asked if we could go in even though we were grown-ups. The lady said of course. We were only allowed to pet on the back and sides of the goat, not the head. It was fine. We would have preferred to feed the goats but that wasn’t an option. We washed our hands and head out.

New Experience #2: The Polar Bear
I have been to the zoo many many times. I have never seen the Polar Bear. I had come to believe that the Polar Bear probably didn’t exist. The only proof I had was the bear shaped footprints in the grime at the bottom of the bear pool. Those could have easily been placed with a fake paw. However, as we rounded the corner I spotted it. A big white bear splayed across the rocks, apparently fast asleep. I didn’t care that it was sleeping. I knew it existed. I was also entertained by this interaction

Lady 1: Look a big white bear
Lady 2: It’s supposed to be black though
Lady 1: Really?
Lady 2: Yeah, the bear is black. It’s just his fur that is white.
Me and Tony: Awesome

New Experience #3: The Red Panda
I was very excited about the new Red Panda (which isn’t really a bear at all) that the zoo recently acquired. They are easily one of the most perfect looking animals around. They couldn’t get much cuter. I knew it was supposed to be by the cats but we couldn’t find it. Then, we went around the back of the cathouse. We found the cage marked “Red Panda”. We didn’t see the thing. That’s ok though. It will be like my new Polar Bear. I’ll have to go back to the zoo over and over again and try to get a glimpse of him. When I do spot him, I will do all in my power to take him home. For now I, like you, will have to be satisfied with a picture.



1. You snake/ You crawled/ Between my legs/ Said want it all/ It’s yours you bet.

2. Who loves the sun/ Who cares that it makes plants grow/ Who cares what it does since you broke my heart. Who Loves The Sun, The Velvet Underground. Identified by Monica.

3. I am just a new boy/ Stranger in this town/ Where are all the good times/ Who’s going to show this stranger around

4. And I tell you everything/ And hope that you won’t tell on me/ Not give you anything/ And know that you won’t tell on me

5. Well there’s a light in your eye that keeps shining/ Like a star that can’t wait for the night/ I hate to think I’ve been blinded, Baby. Why can’t I see you tonight?

THE MAGIC OF BEING PREPARED AND THE WONDERS OF MONOPOLY

To celebrate Lakeiya’s going to law school Monica, Q (who may want to remain nameless in blogworld) and I had a good old fashioned sleep over complete with horror movies. It really was the way to go. I haven’t had a proper sleepover in ages. As an adult, sleeping over is usually referred to as “crashing”. Crashing happens when you are either too drunk or too tired or too far to safely make it home. In most cases crashing involves a couch.

Not so with the sleepover. When sleeping over you go prepared. You have pillows, sheets, toothbrushes, and even pajamas. The foresight that goes along with a planned sleepover makes it much more comfortable than the unexpected crash. Monica is awesome enough to have a humongous air mattress that Lakeiya and I were easily able to sleep on. Q could have fit too but she was too close, sober, and awake to sleepover. That is perfectly acceptable, we are grown-ups after all. The air mattress also served as a great place for the four of us to huddle together, try and creep each other out with odd caresses, and watch scary movies. We even ordered pizzas! What good times.

The foresight also allowed me to spend the next day at Monica’s house without feeling like there was death in my mouth. I love brushing. If it wasn’t for the toothbrush I wouldn’t have been able to play endless games of Monopoly and wouldn’t have been able to stay long enough for Morgan to come by and enjoy said Monopoly with us and then, eventually drive me home. Without the toothbrush, my trip home would have been long, dirty, and hot. What wonders a clean mouth can do.

Monica had a brand new Monopoly board. I typically don’t enjoy brand new Monopoly unless it is of some fun variety such as Star Wars, Simpsons, or Looney Tunes. I recall there is a Muppet Monopoly out there somewhere. I wouldn’t object to having it. This new Monopoly of Monica’s, however, had something rather exciting in it, thus making the game exciting despite the money being stuck together. It was a special blue “speed die”. I play Monopoly in a rather speedy fashion as it is so the speed die didn’t immediately intrigue me. Monica and I played a good old regular game and, when Lakeiya showed up, we decided to put the speed die into use.

After your first trip around the board you can use the speed die. You roll it along with the two regular dice and fun ensues. The speed die has the numbers 1-3, a bus, and two “Mr. Monopolies adorning its six sides. If you roll a number you add it to the value of the other two dice making a larger roll. If you roll the bus you can take the singular value of either of the normal dice or their combined total. Then you get to Mr. Monopoly, more affectionately known as “The Man”. The Man can be your friend, or he can be your worst enemy. If you roll The Man, you take your turn based on the roll of the white dice and then move to the next unowned property, which you can buy or not. If you are playing with the actual rules the property then gets auctioned off to the highest bidder but who plays that way? Once all the properties are owned, The Man becomes evil. You now must move to the next property on which you will owe someone money. So if you landed on a hotel on Park Place and had The Man show up you would then have to go to Boardwalk and pay on the hotel that would also be sitting there. Oh, the ins and outs of The Man.

It was nice to be in a place where I could play at least ten games of Monopoly in a two day time span. Playing games is probably the thing I most miss about living with Monica, that one is good for games. I don’t think Monica, Brooke, and I have ever played a game of Monopoly together. That has to happen sometime soon. No one loves that game as much as the three of us do. Ladies, let’s make a date.

The unguessed songs from last week are as follows:

1. What if the show didn’t go on/ What if we all got jobs and got to bed before dawn/ What if Old Joe had to retire/ What if all the stagehands were let go or fired. Promises of Eternity, Magnetic Fields.

2. You’ve taken the fun/ Out of everything/ Making me run/ When I don’t want to think. I think this is called No Other Way and it is certainly by Blur

3. Every night/ Out for love/ Get my strength from the man above/ God of pistol/ God of steel/ God is here behind my wheel. Working For The Man, PJ Harvey

4. I said oh/ I got this feeling and it's deep in my body/ it gives me wiggles and it makes my rump shake/ I said oh. Speaking in Tongues, Eagles of Death Metal

5. I can’t believe that I’m writing this down and/ I can’t believe I’ve got you in a song/ I don’t want to be a whining girl/ Rather not be in your world. I Don’t Want to See You, Camera Obscura.

SPAGHETTI SQUASH POMODORO

This is probably the simplest and easiest to prepare meal ever to grace the pages of Foodie Friday. It also happens to be incredibly delicious and incredibly low in calories.

-1 Spaghetti Squash
-2 roma tomatoes diced
-1tbsp olive oil
-2 cloves garlic pressed
-1tsp dried oregano
-¼ cup fresh basil, chopped
-Salt and pepper
-Parmesan or mozzarella cheese if desired

-Poke 5-7 holes in the squash making sure you have holes on all sides, otherwise it will explode slightly

-Put squash on a plate and place in the microwave. Microwave for about 4min per pound f squash or until skin is nice and supple. Let squash cool for at least five minutes before cutting.

-Put tomato in a bowl. Add oregano and garlic. Add a dash of salt and a smidge of pepper shake it around

-When the squash has cooled heat oil in a large saucepan over low heat

-Cut squash in half and remove the seeds. Then scrape a fork through the squash flesh lengthwise to produce long spaghetti-like strands you can scrape right up to the edge with these things.

-Toss squash with tomato mixture

-Dump it all in the pan and cook for about one minute stirring frequently

-Garnish with fresh basil and some parmesan or mozzarella cheese if so desired

-Enjoy

1. What if the show didn’t go on/ What if we all got jobs and got to bed before dawn/ What if Old Joe had to retire/ What if all the stagehands were let go or fired.

2. You’ve taken the fun/ Out of everything/ Making me run/ When I don’t want to think

3. Every night/ Out for love/ Get my strength from the man above/ God of pistol/ God of steel/ God is here behind my wheel

4. I said oh/ I got this feeling and it's deep in my body/ it gives me wiggles and it makes my rump shake/ I said oh

5. I can’t believe that I’m writing this down and/ I can’t believe I’ve got you in a song/ I don’t want to be a whining girl/ Rather not be in your world.

A BIT OF BONNIE

This is a small slice of a piece that I have been working on and not working on for a long time. I really need to work on it more. It is very very rough. I thought that by putting a small piece of it out in the world I might be more inspired to make it better. By the way, this is my work and if I find it stolen I reserve the right to kill.

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When we were in third grade Bonnie told me that she loved me. I thought that was it. My life was set forever and ever. Like I said, I loved fairy-tales and Bonnie was my fairy princess. We would move to a mansion by the lake and have two children, either a girl and a boy or two girls but definitely not two boys, and we would be happy. We would work hard to instill the desire to change the world in our offspring and our children would be smart, talented, and beautiful. One would grow up to be president and the other would be an artist. We would be so proud. It was to be a beautiful life. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I still believe it can come true. I can never tell Bonnie this. She would say she finds me creepy then look at me like a rooster would for a good thirty seconds and never speak of it again. I would never forget that cockeyed look and it would cause a chasm to spread between us and our friendship would tumble from the precipice into the deep dark gloomy depths of the ocean where the scary blind fish with the light bulbs dangling creepily from their heads and the creepy jagged teeth live; never to emerge again.

These days Bonnie is in love with a "cool guy" named Thomas. She met him in a yoga class that she took one day on a whim. She said she never planned to go back after the first class because the teacher was just a little too much of a hippy for her. Most people think Bonnie is a hippie but really she just doesn’t like pants. Well, she likes some pants but none anywhere near as much as skirts. Pants generally look better with skirts or dresses anyway or so she tells me. I am still not sure if she is right. Anyway, this hippie teacher had the class lay on each other’s backs and picture seascapes while he played a cowbell and told them to remember to breathe. As far as I can tell, people generally don’t forget to breathe. The body kind of takes care of that on its own. Bonnie had to lay all curled up in a ball while Thomas draped himself over her in some sort of odd arched fashion and they started breathing at the same rate and the next thing you know she decided she loved him. Maybe there was more to it than that but I don't think details are all that important. What is important is that she kept going to class and, kept loving him.

I hate Thomas. I don't even pretend to like him (except when talking to Bonnie or Thomas). I think he looks like my stress ball when it exploded after repeated squeezes. I was squeezing it and it just burst open. This white foamy stuff squirted out and there were these little balls in it. Somehow, the purple ball looked like a big red pimple. I couldn’t stop squeezing it. Actually, Thomas looked nothing like an exploded stress ball but he made me feel like the exploded ball did. I just wanted to squeeze him and watch all his ooze gush out of him and leave him a hollow shell. I don’t really think of myself as a stressed person but I must have been that day for my ball to just explode like that. I try to tell myself I'm not still in love with Bonnie but I hate Thomas enough to make me think I must be. Honestly, I know that part of me really really loves her. Moreover, I am sure Thomas is gay. Definitely gay. Because he is gay he will break her heart. I would never break her heart.

I must find someone to love me so that Bonnie will realize she belongs with me and that Thomas is nothing but a big stress ball and I am like a warm bath. Ah yes, that's what I'm like, a nice warm bubble bath with rosemary oil lightly drizzled throughout and candles strategically placed around the tub and incense, nag champa incense, that had gone out ten minutes before she entered the room and things were just nice and light and aromatic. If she knew that is what I am like how could she help but realize how wonderful I would be for her. But what if I were to fall in love with this mystery person I have vowed to find? What if they turn out to be my one true love rather than Bonnie, the girl I have based my entire existence on? If that were to happen, it would prove that my life had been based on a mistruth and therefore I would have to completely reexamine everything. Shit, I can’t do that.

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1. What if the show didn’t go on/ What if we all got jobs and got to bed before dawn/ What if Old Joe had to retire/ What if all the stagehands were let go or fired.

2. You’ve taken the fun/ Out of everything/ Making me run/ When I don’t want to think

3. Every night/ Out for love/ Get my strength from the man above/ God of pistol/ God of steel/ God is here behind my wheel

4. They love me like I was a brother/ They protect me/ Listen to me. Nice Dreams, Radiohead. Identified by Monica.

5. I said oh/ I got this feeling and it's deep in my body/ it gives me wiggles and it makes my rump shake/ I said oh

5 RANDOM THINGS

Johnny Yen tagged me for the 5 questions meme a few days ago. Wanna hear them, here they go.

1. If you could be there to change just one event in history, what would it be?
This is a pretty hard question. I mean history is a really long time. I don’t want to change anything too far back because the repercussions that would ensue could be catastrophic and I tend to like my life. I’ll go back and fix that mess in Florida. I have a feeling that things would be a lot better now if I did. I also think that my life would be the same enough that I wouldn't be messing with too much cosmic stuff.

2. If you could be any actor or actress who ever lived, who would it be, and why?
Without a doubt or a moment of hesitation I would be Audrey Hepburn. She is beautiful, funny, classy, and has roles that look incredibly fun to play. How much would I like tobe Eliza Doolittle? A lot.

3. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon show?
Voltron: Defender of the Universe. Voltron was the unsung hero of the 1980s Saturday morning cartoons. He was relatively busted and the shows were pretty repetitive. Most people liked Transformers or Thundercats. I liked them too but not as much as Voltron, he was my hero. I was Voltron one year for Halloween and Princess Alura (she manned the blue lion after this one guy died) the next (or maybe it was the other way around). I had all types of Voltron toys and most of them are still around.

4. Beatles or Rolling Stones?
Beatles hands down. I don’t know a lot of the Rolling Stones catalogue, just their big songs and a few others here and there. I’m okay with that. I know a lot of the Beatles catalogue and I am glad that I do.

5. If you could be any fictional literary figure ever, who would it be?
The Little Prince because every time people would read about me they would laugh hysterically, learn something, and be brought to tears. I would be loved by children and adults all around the world. It sounds nice.

I am not tagging anyone but if someone wants to answer five random questions I will ask them of you.

Yesterday Monica came over to watch Top Chef. We were all about it. It wasn’t on. We were confused. Tony, who doesn’t watch the show, looked at us like we were crazy and said, “Doesn’t that come on Wednesdays?” Crap. It was Tuesday. We watched Flight of the Concords and Rick and Steve: The Happiest Gay Couple in the World instead. It was still fun.

From a day when all songs wre guessed to a day when none were. Come on, people, there are some easy ones in there.

1. What if the show didn’t go on/ What if we all got jobs and got to bed before dawn/ What if Old Joe had to retire/ What if all the stagehands were let go or fired.

2. I do it for the joy it brings/ cause I am a joy-ful girl/ cause the world owes me nothing/ And we owe each other the world. Joyful Girl, Ani DoFranco. Identified by Brooke.

3. All the world just stops now/ so you say you don’t want to stay together anymore/ let me take a deep breath babe/ If you need me, me and Neil will be hanging out with the Dream King. Tear In Your Hand, the best Tori Amos song ever. Identified by Brooke.

4. You’ve taken the fun/ Out of everything/ Making me run/ When I don’t want to think

5. Every night/ Out for love/ Get my strength from the man above/ God of pistol/ God of steel/ God is here behind my wheel