Monday, November 12, 2007

A BALD ASSHOLE IN MY BRAIN

Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes. I am incredibly excited. I have now started to get very nervous as well. It’s a good nervous, an exciting motivating nervous, but nervous all the same. The main reason I was looking for a new job was to do something new. I was no longer being challenged. However, it is nice to be someone who can answer questions about virtually every aspect of what goes on at work. It is nice to have someone come to you with a question and you not have to look anything up before you can quote numbers and statistics. It is nice to know you are really good at your job.

I have no doubt that I will become really good at my new job. I also know that it would be insane not to expect a lengthy period of adjustment. One of the nice things about when I am starting is that the students won’t be at school. I’ll have time until mid Jan before they return to get used to how everything works. I amso happy about that. It helps a lot. It certainly doesn’t erase the nerves though.

Last night I dreamt I was Larry David. If you know who that is, you will get a sense of how incredibly nervous I actually am. That man makes Woody Allen look relaxed and sane. Not only was I Larry David but I was Larry David lost in an enormous hotel that seemed to resemble parts of a temple in Ninja Gaiden Sigma. I haven’t even played that game in weeks since I bested the horrible Queen Fiend. Talk about a stressful battle. She was one of the most difficult bosses that I have ever faced in the history of gaming.

Once I became myself again in dreamland, I found myself taking train after train after train and getting delayed and lost in order to get someplace that I really could have walked to. Why I didn’t walk I have no idea because I usually prefer to walk short distances unless it is incredibly cold outside but it was not cold in my dream. It was a little cold after I woke up though so maybe it does make sense.

I know that everything will work out just fine. In a way I am actually glad to get out of my comfort zone. I know it is only natural to feel this way when starting something new. I just hope that my dreams will start to calm down because if they stay at this level of anxiety I will be a sick sick person in a number of weeks. I need to find something to keep me nice and relaxed for until I get started. Any suggestions?

1. I know/ I can’t find you/ I go/ sit beside you. I Know, The Best Band

2. We love to boogie/ we love to boogie/ Jitterbug boogie/ High school boogie/ we love to boogie/ On a Saturday night. We Love To Boogie, T-Rex (not I Love the nightlife (Disco Round) by Alicia Bridges although it could easily be mistaken for it)

4. Seven am so it begins again/ One zip favoring familiar silhouettes/ Left whips and chains/ Behind I’m boycotting trends it’s my new look this season. Girl Disappearing, Tori Amos

5. You see this kind if chick in every town/ whenever there’s a scene she’ always hanging around/ she’s so naive and innocent/ stares at you with awe/ she’s only 14 but she knows how to draw. Superlungs my Supergirl, Donovan.

7 comments:

Auld Hat said...

lol, no need for Jung to analyze that dream. Clearly you know precisely what it means. Although, you might want to have Freud look at that title. hee hee

Chatty Knitter said...

KNITTING!!!!

Seriously. It's the most relaxing hobby in the world, and you get to wield sort-of sharp sticks. I will totally give you free knitting lessons if you want to pick up the hobby. It really does wonders for relaxing your mind and letting you focus on things besides stress. And, it augments your winter accessories wardrobe at a reasonable cost (as long as you refrain from visiting Joannes with Jamie and I), and who doesn't need more flair in the winter?

Monica said...

i missed 'curb' last night. that's why i dreamt i was larry david.

Mom said...

Knitting is a great idea!
I'm also a big fan of journaling about things that are stressful. (Mostly because if I talked to people as much as I'd like to, they might wield sort-of-sharp sticks at me! Whereas my journal never complains about how long I spend on the same topic. But talking is good, too.)

Also... Vigorous physical activity!
Sharpen those skates, woman, and get thee to an ice rink. Even if you do nothing besides skating real fast around the rink for half an hour or so, you'll feel a lot less anxious and stressed-out. (If this is utterly impossible, try some nice, long walks down by the lake...)

You're right -- you will get really good at your new job after a period of adjustment. Of course, by then you might be taking a class and the whole point of classes is to push beyond the comfort zone at least to some extent. So, welcome to "life over the edge." Think of the "off-balanced-ness" and fun exhilaration of a roller-coaster ride as a positively-oriented metaphor for all of this.
:-)

Natalie said...

Auld Hat- I may need him to analyze the one from last night where I was stuck in this tiny bodega trying to shop for groceries and being totally confused. That just made no sense.

Chatty Knitter- Yeah, maybe. I just don't know if I have the patience for it. It is something to consider.

Monica- I hope you have caught it On Demand by now. That was a very awesome episode.

Mom- I was a little bummed to find out that DePaul doesn't have an ice rink, not that i thought they did or anything.I have been having the itch to go skating for the last month or so but none of the rinks look fun to get to.

Eve said...

Larry David, eh? So sorry for the anti-dream post! It's just a personal thing, and I know lots of people don't feel the same as me. Oops!

CS said...

I'm liking this post just for the title. But also, congratulations and good luck!