There are things that I find funny that I probably shouldn’t. I have always been this way. However, my taste in what is funny has changed. Kicking random people nonchalantly to see what hilarity will ensue is no longer funny. People failing at their dreams is no longer funny. Throwing pennies out the window at people and watching them be confused is no longer funny. These things are, and have always been, mean. Unfortunately, I used to think mean was funny. It still can be from a distance. I just don’t like to perpetrate mean anymore. People tripping over nothing is still, and will always be, funny.
What got me thinking about this? Well this afternoon I decided to purposely not dry my hands after washing them, thus leaving the bathroom door handle totally wet. I thought this was hilarious. I don’t know why I thought it was funny. It wasn’t a very nice thing to do. I wondered who would get a wet handful and if they would freak out at the thought that it could possibly be a hand full of urine. Now, why anyone would have a hand full of urine and put it all over the door handle is a good question. Not wanting to mess with the paper towel dispenser that always either rips the towel or gives you the entire dispenser full is more likely. Yet, for some reason, I couldn’t help but hope that someone had a momentary shock in regard to pee hand moment.
I wondered if this was my inner evil trying to get out. I wondered if something inside me snapped and was sick of being a nice and caring individual. I wondered if I have been lying to myself the past few years telling myself that I am outgrowing my evil desires and that instead I am simply suppressing them. I wondered if I am a big ass phony nice person. Maybe I am. I just asked Lakeiya and she said that I am a nice person with evil tendencies. I can agree with that. I can even be ok with that. I can even enjoy that. I think there is something wonderful about slight evil tendencies. I think that they keep me from being sucked into the mundane and expected. Then again, I don’t want to be as hurtful as I used to be. That was just mean.
What it comes down to is that maybe evil and mean aren’t the same. Evil has an impish quality to it. There is some type of jest involved. Mean is just cruel and awful. I know this may not be the typical definition of evil and mean but that is what makes sense to me. My evil tendencies swing toward a casual prankster that wants to cause mischief but not really to hurt someone. I hate hurting people. It makes me feel bad. I like causing mischief, it makes me laugh. If my mischief ends up hurts someone I get upset. Luckily, that hasn’t happened too much lately. I suppose the people I can be evil to know that I love them and am just poking casual fun. I guess that is ok. They are always allowed to be evil back. It’s expected. However, if someone decides to get mean with me, they better watch out. I can be seriously mean.
I really am a nice person though. Don’t get the wrong idea.
Johnny Yumah, Johnny Cash- Everything Johnny Cash remind me of Jamie and Belmont apartment. I am still a little amazed that I grew to enjoy Johnny Cash. I spent so much time convincing myself that all things that seemed remotely country were crappy and off limits. I have decided that only relatively new and poppy country is crappy and off limits. I might secretly like it, I wouldn't know because I don't even give it a try.
Overlap. Ani DiFranco- This song takes me back to serious teenage angst. The number of incredibly lame boys that I thought about when I listened to this song is virtually endless. Me being all lame and only looking at boys and not talking to them was the theme of my life for a long long long long time.
Don't Play Cards With Satan, Daniel Johnston- All I can say is good advice.
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13 comments:
I too used to thrill at throwing things off balconies, but stopped a long time ago. Either because it's mean or because I no longer have a balcony, who knows?
But, I still find inappropriate jokes insanely hilarious :) I suppose that's just the imp in me.
I think this makes you non-perfect. I hate perfect people anyway.
I never had that kind of sense of humor, and I think it is because I feel very unconfortable when I'm the victim. I think it's a self esteem thing. So I don't like doing it to others either. But I understand people enjoying both sides.
I never would have thought of throwing pennies out a window and watching people be confused. Why is that mean? It seems more on the "evil" side to me. But maybe I just don't know.
I would say mischievous rather than evil. If leaving a wet door handle is what you categorize as evil I think we can all rest easy. The concepts of good and evil have been intruding my sensibilities lately and I think I am edging toward throwing them both out the window. I too laugh at people tripping over nothing after making sure they are fine. I have hurt myself in an odd fashion in public and start laughing loudly to mask my embarrassment. You are what we call in my house a koo-ka-mawnk a verifiable nut and I love ya for it.
I still crack up at people getting hurt on America's Funniest Home Videos. They are still funny to me.
So did you see who got the wet handful???
Well, pranks are fun because they so often border on the hurtful. When they veer away from that line, they are hilarious. But when they cross it, well it's embarrassing and we feel foolish.
You sound mischievous and silly - two of my favorite things in a person!
I strive for being a pirate AND a good man.
Silliness more than evil, to my way of thinking. Maybe that's just semantics, but I like goofiness in people. But not seeing people get hurt - that often just makes me cry.
You toweled off before you typed this right?
Something tells me that if I told you stories about how I cracked up when my best friend was his in the mouth with a baseball, or how she fell down a hill and ended up with a scab that looked like a little mustache, and that I laughed uncontrollably, you would understand.
I don't do the things, but I can't help laughing at them. It's a curse!
WLFG- You did? That's awesome. I don't have a balcony anymore either. Maybe I never should again.
CSG- I can take being the victim but I don't like it, no one does.
Mom- It is mean because sometimes the pennies hit them on the head.
Danielle- A nut I most certainly am. I really have toned myself down in the last few years so a wet door handle may be the best I can do now. Or creepily kissing Monica's forehead when she sleeps. That's pretty evil if you know how much she hates creepiness.
Michael- When I find myself watching that show, which is thankfully not often, I too laugh.
Travis- No I didn't see, it is possible that it dried before anyone got it. I can take mischievous and silly, those are good things.
Pablo- AARRGGG I also am proud of my pirate tendencies.
CS- I don't like seeing people get hurt, anymore. I don't know why but pain used to be incredibly funny to me. Both mine and that of others.
Phil- Yeah of course. I don't want a wet keyboard.
Little Things- I am chuckling as we speak.
There is definitely a distinct difference between being "evil" and being downright mean and hateful. I've been told I have a mean streak, and that I can be evil, and truth be told I do sometimes take a sick pleasure from each of these darker sides of my being. That said, I need to build bridges more than I need to burn them these days, so I try to play nice unless I am unfairly antagonized, in which case hell hath no fury like a loquacious woman scorned. ;)
Nope, you're wrong, that stuff is still funny.
Unless it happens to you. Then it's just cruel.
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