Thursday, April 26, 2007


Before lunch I had started two different blog posts but thought they were dull and boring. I was troubled. I have excellent interview questions from Johnny Yen but as I just posted an interview yesterday I wanted to wait until tomorrow and put it as a Foodie Friday accompaniment because it makes sense to do so, you’ll see. I decided to give up on thinking of a post and just go and enjoy my lunch with Monica and Lakeiya. By the end of lunch I had a blog post.

Earlier in the day I told Monica that I would not be going to lunch with her if it was raining. She assured me that it would not be raining. It wasn’t. We had a wonderful lunch of burgers and sides and then Lakeiya and I left Monica at her office door and proceeded to walk back to our office.

As we were walking I heard someone to the left of me say “you sure are gorgeous,” in an old and grizzled voice. Being a gracious person, I turned to the person and said thank you. The person asked my name and, not being able to think of anything other than the truth, I told him. “Nice to meet you, Natalie, I’m Jeremiah,” we shake hands. I notice that he is missing some bottom teeth. He then introduces himself to Lakeiya and asks her name. He told her it was an African name “like from Kenya or “Zambobwo” or what’s another African country,” and Lakeiya told him it was a West Side of Chicago name. He then informed us that Jeremiah was a Hebrew name and that his last name was Rudolph. “That’s a reindeer name,” I replied.

I thought that would kind of give him the hint that I was done talking to him, it didn’t. He proceeded to tell me that my name was easy to remember because it was like Natalie Cole (like I’ve never heard that before) and hoe she is Nat King Cole’s daughter. “You’d make me a nice wife,” he came up with out of nowhere. “You never know, anything can happen”. “Uh, I guess,” I said. “You’re friend really is beautiful,” he reminds Lakeiya “I have to go to State and Washington” (oh no that’s where we are going). We then had to stop so that Lakeiya could put a scarf on her head because it was starting to sprinkle. Jeremiah Rudolph figured it out kept walking and gave a nice wave.

Why I am so attractive to old men who are missing teeth? Not that I should complain. I am very content with my current relationship and I shouldn’t really care who else finds me attractive. Then again, it’s always nice to be told you are looking good.

The sprinkle that caused Lakeiya’s scarf to go up turned into a full on downpour. I have been back from lunch for almost two hours and my hair is still slightly damp. I had told Monica earlier in the day that I would not be meeting her for lunch if it was raining hard. She assured me it would not be raining. Because I believed her I did not bring an umbrella. Bad bad Monica. Poor little Lakeiya’s pants were so wet in the front that it looked as if she was wearing chaps. Only the top of her pants that were covered by her jacket remained dry. I had a longer coat on but a triangle of wetness on my skirt was created by what my coat didn’t cover. It kind of looked like I had an accident. My hair looked as if I had just stepped out of the shower. As we walked in the building someone saw us and said “Oh Shit,” not a good reaction. Luckily my hair air dries well so I now look normal. Lakeiya changed her pants with something from out client closet and all was relatively ok.

If this is what happens when we go to lunch with Monica I don’t think we will ever go again. That is, of course, a lie. I’ll probably see her tomorrow.

Signs, Tesla- Any and every version of this song makes me smile. Any tune that contains the words “long haired freaky people” is easily a classic.

Where It’s At, Beck- Could things possible get any more high school than this song? I don’t think so. At the same time I still find myself enjoying it.

Hot Fun in the Summertime, Sly and The Family Stone
- This is one of my least favorite Sly and The Family Stone songs. I think the music is a little too cabaret and not at all funky enough. However, the vocals are inherently funky making this song incongruous and a little annoying.


notfearingchange said...

Natalie....I know you have a partner and I'm not suggesting you split...but that could've been your rich husband who would have left you a fortune! ;-) *wink*...

Oh and no offense Monica...but if you promise no rain and it rains you owe the girls a drink at least! ;-)

kim said...

That is too damn funny. The same reason old men with no teeth are attracted to you is why Middle Eastern cab drivers with turbans are attracted to me.

One day, 6 months pregnant, already overweight I waddle to a cab in NYC after work. He looks at me and says, "You are pretty, you come home and cook for me."
I said,
"I don't think my husband would appreciate that."
He turned around and looked at me and said,
"You too fat, get out of the cab."
Nice, huh?

terry said...

(cracking up at kim's story...)

i get hit on by old guys all the time. i don't know when i crossed that threshold -- and people tell me i look younger than i am -- but it's weird.

i'm not ready to date grampa!

thethinker said...

I've only ever gotten whistled at.

I'm sure he would've proposed to you if he stuck around a little longer.

Jeff Roberts said...

"and hoe she is Nat King Cole’s daughter"

She's a nappy-what? Careful of the mis-spellings or you'll be out of a blog ;-)

Natalie said...

Not Fearing- I don't know. I would want mu rich husband to have teeth. It's a prerequisite.

Kim- That is the funniest and meanest thing I have ever heard.

Terry- What is that all about. I think maybe the older a guy gets the more ballsy he can be. By that age they must have a strong tolerance of rejection.

Thinker- I'm sure you'll get more than whistles in a year or so. The old men may be gross but they don't want to go to jail.

Jeff- hoe is still a garden tool last I checked, ho is what will get my blog revoked. I got a good laugh out of the comment!

Travis said...

When I first heard the Tesla cover, I hated it. But then it grew on me.

I still prefer the original though.

Monica said...

did you get that tesla from one of my many mp3 purges? jamie and i used to torture people with it. i go back and forth between 5 man electrical band and tesla but i like em both.

Monica said...

oh and i swear i thought the rain had totally stopped!

Danielle said...

I haven't thought about the Tesla version for a while it is one the list for the next iTunes download for sure.
If dude was African they have a custom of removing the two bottom front teeth, I don't know why. I love how foreign born men hit on American women, so funny.

Natalie said...

Travis- There are few covered songs that surpass the original. I don't think that Signs is an exception to the rule.

Monica- Are you telling me you didn't get up to that enormous window at your desk and notice the pouring rain and chuckle to yourself because you knew we were in it? Tesla very well may have come from you but I loved it before I knew you, don't take all the credit.

Danielle- I don't think he was African. He only knew two countries on the entire continent and I don't think Zimbabwe is Zambobwo in any country, but I could be wrong

Danielle said...

He definitely was a crazie for sure then.
I just had Bob Marley's song Zimbabwe entered the ol noggin with many thanks to you.

deadspot said...

"That's a reindeer name." You are so fabulous, Natalie.

CS said...

So he had a reindeer name and a bullfrog name - I'd say he was a keeper.

Lakeiya said...

I said I'd have to comment if you missed any details but, well, it was pretty much perfect. You did forget that Jeremiah mentioned that Rudolph was German but that's a minor detail (hey, I called him Jeremy). All I really know is, I almost had tears in my eyes reading your post. I don't think I fully appreciated just how funny the whole things was until just now. (But maybe that had something to do w/ the wet pants).