Tuesday, March 18, 2008

MY SUBCONSCIOUS THINKS I'M CHILDISH

I went to the optometrist this morning. My prescription has changed a tiny bit but my eyes are not the source of my lightheadedness. I’m calling my Dr. back tomorrow. Today my pupils are dilated and it has enhanced my feeling funny. What fun. I did get really nifty glasses though. they have sparkles on them that you can kind of see in the side view.

So the other night I had this dream that Monica, Patrick (who is Monica’s friend and I have never met but have seen pictures of), and I were playing on this playground after winning some crazy boat race or something. That part of the dream is a little fuzzy. Patrick in the dream didn’t look like Patrick in real life; he looked more like Phillip Seymour Hoffman, which is very funny because it is almost the exact opposite of real Patrick. Anyway we had this tent thing that we draped over a round climby thing on the playground and were playing fort. Fort rules.

So we are in our fort having an awesome time when this little kid comes in. The kid’s dad is standing on the sidelines of the playground watching. The kid looks up at us and asks how old we are. I say 28, Monica says 29, and Patrick says 30 (I have no idea how old he really is). The kid looks at us and says, “Oh, that’s old. I’m 4. What are you doing in this fort?” We just looked at the kid and then at each other and packed up in shame. Then some other strange dream type stuff happened that I don’t remember. I think that the remembered part was the important part though.

The thing was my dream kind of hurt my feelings. I mean sure, I like to play around but I think my friends and I are fine examples of people in their late 20s. We have jobs, we pay rent, we function as adults, and we are generally accepted to be grown type folks. So what if we like forts? Who doesn’t? Just cause we don’t have kids of our own to play fort with doesn’t mean we should be shut out from playing. Play is important. Anyway, I’m mad at my dream.

1. Identity/ Identity is the crisis you can’t see/ Identity/ Identity

2. Did I/ See a moment/ With you/ In a half-lit world

3. Ghost, ghost I know you live within me/ Feel as you fly/ In thunderclouds above the city/ Into one that I

4. I’m tired of wasting gas living above the planet/ Mister show me the way to earth/ The boys from quadrant 44 with their vicious metal hounds don’t come round here no more.

5. Downtown/ We’ll drown/ We’re in our never splendor/ Flowers/ Showers/ Who’s got the new boy gender

12 comments:

Colleen Snell said...

This makes me think of the story this morning on Good Morning America where they talked about playgrounds for seniors. And the quote from Robin Roberts was, "You don't grow tired of play when you get old. You get old when you stop playing."

citizen of the world said...

That dream may have more to do with feeling pressured to be too "grown-up" and leave behind play. But play and a sense of child-like wonder and adventure are keys to a happy life. Fort does rule! Never let some kid make you pack it in.

Anonymous said...

Great glasses! Send us a picture with you wearing them. Better yet, get a Playstation Eye and video chat(While wearing your new glasses)!

Dad

Natalie said...

Colleen- That kid wanted us to be old and boring. What a turd.

citizen Of The World- Interesting take on it. I generally feel like I'm basically just grown up enough but can maybe see glimmers of doubt here and there like maybe I should be more adult.

Dad- Better yet, buy me one just cause you love me.

Blog Antagonist said...

OOOOH, I love those glasses. I had Lasik a year and a half ago, and I couldn't be happier. But sometimes I miss having fun and funky glasses. My husband says he kind of misses them too.

Enjoy being childish while you can. Strangely enough, when you have children, they suck all the childish out of you.

Katrina said...

Yep, you have to keep the play in your life. There're times I feel like I should be more "grown up" but then I realize I am a grown up but that I still need to keep the child side of me alive and well.

He was just a meany 4 year old is all. Heh

Mrs. Loquacious said...

Love your funky new frames! :) It suits you well.

Mom said...

I always kind of felt that one of the perks of having kids was getting to play with them. For instance, I bought my daughters all sorts of LEGOs (even the pirate ship, eventually) and had great fun playing with them, with my kids. When I was little LEGOs were only for boys and I never had any. Yeah, you do have to be the parent, and all that. But you can -- and really should -- still play.

I'm about to start reading a book called "Optimal Experience", which is about "flow" -- meaning that peak experience when you are totally absorbed in what you're doing and loving it. In other words, fort does rule.

Monica said...

natalie, i hope we never get too old to enjoy a good fort. i fear that would be the end of our friendship.

Yobachi said...

LOL, how you going to have a dream to hurt your own feelings?

Anyway Nat, I was wanting to get your opinion on "Steinem, Ferraro and Clinton: Why Black Women Must Not Link Too Closely With White Feminist" BlackPerspective.net

Natalie said...

BA- I hope not but I can see how that could easily happen.

Katrina- Kids are mean, you have a point.

Mrs. L- thanks I like them too but am a little nervous they are too silly. They seemed okay at the time but I have been lightheaded.

Mom- The pirate ship was pretty awesome. Since I am a pirate I really needed to have it.

Monica- Let's not allow that to happen.

Yobachi- Feminist has become a dirty word and forgotten it's roots.

whirls said...

i love fort. and i am older than you. fort rules! i do have kids i can play fort with, but they don't always want me to play! no fair!!! i cry about it and then they usually give in. it's more fun to play fort when you don't have to cry about it.