Tuesday, December 05, 2006

EVERYTHING RIDES THE TRAIN

I am back at work today. I will only be here half a day tomorrow because I am taking the National Customer Service test in the morning and then have my follow-up Dr appt in the afternoon. This means that after I take the test on Wednesday I have Thursday, Friday, and Monday to rework the curriculum before class on Tuesday. This would seem like a daunting but doable task. However, I realize that I will be doing no work on Thursday because it is out Annual Recognition Luncheon at work where we all get together and sit and eat and people who have been success stories through my work speak. It is a day of tears always. I think they purposely pick people to speak that will elicit tears from as many people as possible because it helps the cause. Everyone loves a hard-luck story gone right. The mayor is coming. That is funny to me. The point is I only really have two days to rework my curriculum and I will be damned if I take work home with me. We’ll see how much gets done.

I mentioned seeing stars and vortexes in my last post. This morning when I got on the train I momentarily thought I had graduated into full-fledged hallucinations. Why did I think this? Because as I went to sit down in my seat I saw something moving by my feet and as I looked down my eyes recognized it to be a pigeon. I have seen some strange things on the train before but this was insane. The fact that there was a pigeon politely walking up and down the aisles just as calmly as could be was odd enough, but the fact that no one but me seemed to notice or care was what had me thinking that I must be seeing things. So I didn’t sit in the seat all by myself that I really wanted to be in, I moved away from where the pigeon was.

Now, I get on the train at a time when it is relatively empty because I am close to the end of the line. I was on a little earlier train than normal so there were only about ten people on the car. However, wouldn’t they be a little on edge knowing a pigeon was also riding the train? See my fear was that something would startle the thing and it would start flying about and run itself into windows and then freak out more and hit people on the head and cause a general ruckus. I was eying that thing for any slight movement and expected that everyone else would do the same. So as I am sitting in utter paranoia, the pigeon starts coming closer and closer to the populated area of the train so I politely get up and move to the one seater in the back where I had wanted to sit in the first place. I still kept an eye on that bird. Occasionally someone else would look up and notice it but then go back to what they were doing. I was planning to run back and forth on that car avoiding the pigeon, which of course would be likely to incite the thing to fly but we will ignore that fact. I just was scared. Once stop passed and the bird did nothing. I contemplated getting up and going to the other side of the train by the intercom to let the driver know that he needed to stop at the next stop until the bird flew off the train. However, that would involve me crossing the pigeon’s path and I was not having it. Luckily, at the next stop the thing flew out the door at the last possible second. I was quite relieved.

It is almost 4. I want to go home and pass out I am so exhausted. I think that I will make it through this last hour. Maybe I’ll just try to go through the piles of paper on my desk that make no sense to me. I have to find some papers in the pile anyway. Let’s shuffle it out.

House of Jealous Lovers, The Rapture- This song starts off sounding like some crazy house music form the old days of house. The next thing you know someone is screaming in your ear like an odd mix of PJ Harvey and Perry Ferrell. It’s pretty good.

Tainted Love, Soft Cell- Nothing bad can be said of this song. Everyone knows it and everyone should love it. I think that maybe I have met some people who don’t love it but I think they are probably insane. I mean sure, it’s overplayed and what else did Soft Cell ever do but can you help but tap your feet? I can’t.

Writing to Reach You, Travis- I had a friend who convinced me that the album The Man Who by Travis was a really good album. For a while I believed this to be true. I don’t really anymore. It’s not awful, just really common sounding. At the same time I kind of enjoy it once in a while. I never claimed to only like fantastic non-derivative music. At least this is one of the better songs on the album. I do like their Baby One More Time cover. I like any version of that song. I am sick and have a problem.

8 comments:

Traveling Matt said...

So once I was on the Blue Line (when we still lived at Addison Apartment) and it was crowded. I wound up in the outside seat with someone. It started to mostly clear out but not enough to where any new seats were opening up. So this homeless gets on and starts staggering around, touching the bars on the back of every seat. When he touched the bar on the back of the seat in front of me, he used his yellowing fungused talon to scrape (wait for it) a large BOOGER from the end of his adjacent finger. It landed on the bar and stuck to it. I gasped in horror but was somehow unable to move. I kept staring to make sure it wouldn't fall off or anything. I can't remember why I didn't get up but the guy next to me reacted the exact same way. We remained frozen in horror, staring, hoping the booger wouldn't fall, for the duration of the ride. It never fell and never touched us but man, how disgusting. Give em a pigeon any day of the week. At least the mayhem would be funny as long as nothing bad happened to the poor little lost pigeon.

Mrs. Loquacious said...

I agree that a pigeon is far preferable to boogers. In the case of my friend who was riding the bus in Hong Kong, he actually saw a man cough up a phlegm noogie into his hand and wipe *THAT* on one of the bars behind a seat.

Now I always bring hand sanitizer with me wherever I go. GROSS!

Anonymous said...

...And if your curriculum doesn't get its full revision until the next cycle, it will be OK too and no one (but you) would probably mind and nobody will die or anything, right?

ShadowFalcon said...

I have to go listen to tainted love again (though I secretly prefer the Marilyn Manson version)

Terry said...

That's a clear example of why people shouldn't feed pigeons. The same rule applies to hobos.

Steven said...

Damn...

I wanted the pigeon to get you.

Is that wrong of me? ;)

Steve~

Foofa said...

Jaclyn- It's ok, we know what ass to find you in. Once about a month ago I heard Sexyback. It sucked, sorry.

Monica- I think I remember you tellimg me about that Booger. It's real nasty.

Mrs. L- Hand sanitizer is required when public anything in involved. People will wipe things anywhere.

Mom- No one will care or die. They could probably care less if I revise it or not.

Shadow- I don't know if I have heard that version. I will have to get it. I like his version of Baby One More Time.

Should be- Yeah i don't know why people feed pigeons. I know why they feed hobos though.

Steve- It's not wrong. I would have wished it to get someone if it was me reading the story and not being scared of the pigeon. It would have made a better story for sure.

atrackbrown said...

Dude! I totally miss the Annual Recognition Luncheon. How was it this year? Were folks with Tina Turner hair still pontificating and shit? Were other folks still just plain annoying? I'm so jealous.