I'M NOT GONNA DIE

Today I went to the Dr. It was a much-needed thing. Yesterday, my boss sent me home from work because I was obviously not supposed to be there. I came home and slept for about four hours. This was a good thing because last night, like most nights for the past month, I woke up breathless constantly. Now I can see people who know and love me shaking their heads at this point because there is no reason I shouldn’t have been to the Dr. months ago. They are right. I should have gone to the Dr. months ago. However, I was poor (because my work is charging me double for insurance because they forgot to take it out of my check for about nice months) so I couldn’t afford the Dr. Isn’t it funny that my insurance payments made me not able to go to the Dr? I see the humor. Anyway, I finally made up my mind to see the Dr.

I couldn’t see the Dr. before today because I had to change my medical group on my insurance. The people they had me set up for were so far from my work and house that I would have died on the way there. Well, not literally, but it would have been a real huge pain in my ass. I swear I didn’t sign myself up for these people. I signed myself up for someone closer. In fact, I think I signed myself up for the Dr. I ended up going to see. So, the new medical group wouldn’t take effect until the first, today, so I made my appointment for today. I was looking forward to going to see the Dr. like a kid on Christmas morning.

When I woke up this morning (or should I say got out of bed since I had been in and out of a wheeze filled sleep for the past four hours) I was so excited. I went to the front room to check the weather and noticed outside that the trees seemed to be covered in white. I looked out the window and everything was covered in white. It had snowed, a lot. I dug out my winter coat and some gloves (the scarf and hat had been out for some time) and trudged off to work. See I had to go to work to print out the temporary medical card with the new medical group number on it for the Dr (but work is 2 blocks from the Dr. so it is ok). I thought my appointment was at 10:30 but as I was walking to the train I remembered it wasn’t until 11:30. That was ok though, I could be at work for a little longer and no one would be hurt. The train was real slow. You would think that Chicago would be used to snow and it wouldn’t slow things as much as it does but, not so much.

When I got to work at 10:45 (good think my appt wasn’t at 10:30) I got to printing out my medical card. Then, the Dr. office calls me and says the Dr. is at the hospital and not her office and isn’t sure how long it will take her to get to the office because of the weather and would I mind rescheduling my appointment for Monday. I politely told them that I really needed to see the Dr. today and thought there was a chance I would be in the hospital before Monday if I didn’t get some prednisone stat. I mentioned that if the Dr. would write me prescription for prednisone and a preventative inhaler like advair I would be happy to pick those up and come in on Monday. As I expected, that was not an option. They called me back a while later and said the Dr. would be there as soon as she could. I said thanks and left the office.

My new Dr. is great. First of all, her name is Farah Khan. Maybe I am very easily amused but that name (and the fact that her office is two blocks from my work) was a big reason I picked her. It is also the reason that I think I picked her before and why I remembered that I should have had her all along. She is also really pretty. I like pretty people. They make me more comfortable. She is also relatively young. She isn’t so young that you think she should be out of med school a few more years before touching you but young enough that you can be open and honest and not feel like you are talking to a parent. Not that I am not open and honest with my parents but you know. Dr. Khan took one listen to my chest and was like “Damn, girl you can’t breathe at all” (but more professionally) and gave me advair and prednisone. Told you. I am going back to see her on Wednesday next week for a follow up and more thorough check-up. I won’t die now.

Let's celebrate my life with music stuffs.

1. The lights are off again, she took me by surprise. She’s so sensitive, shit just happens sometimes.

2. There’ll be no darkness tonight lady our love will shine lighting the night.

3. Everybody’s looking at me. Feeling paranoid inside. When I step outside I’ll feel free. Think I’ll find a place to hid.

4. Downtown my darling dime store thief, in the war of independence rock-n-roll rang sweet as victory

5. Jacques Lamure is a volunteer fireman. He longs to give his life saving a nice old man and his wife.