Wednesday, February 07, 2007


My computer is fixed. I have been forbidden to remove any programs from my computer and the IT department’s faith in me has plummeted. It took five years for me to get IT cred and it is gone in a flash. However, I now have office 2003 instead of 2000 so it actually worked out better for me in the long run and all aspects of my computer appear to be running faster. Getting it fixed meant that I was able to submit my report to the State nice and early so if something is wrong they can let me know and I can fix it. That’s how I roll with deadlines. Like Sr. year when I was done with all my work because I wanted to relax and chill with everyone but they were still working like mad women popping caffeine pills and chugging coffee. They were really funny to me at the time.

My Mommy is on her way. She sent e an email at about 9:30 saying she was going to leave within the hour and called at about 12:45 to say she was leaving. My family has never been really good at punctuality. At least she left late enough to miss the evening rush when she gets into town. It just means I’ll have a late dinner when she gets in. Since I don’t have to wake up in the morning it really doesn’t matter. I’m sure we’ll be up late talking about nothing until she suddenly falls asleep without warning.

Yesterday I finished “A Confederacy of Dunces” which was a fantastic read that I highly recommend to anyone who likes stuff and or things. Today I began reading “Nausea”. I really like it a lot and wanted to talk a little bit about a passage.

Objects should not touch because they are not alive. You use them, put them back in place, you live among them: they are useful, nothing more. But they touch me, it is unbearable.

I don’t consider myself to be an existentialist, I am too open to the existence of the mystical, yet this passage truly resonated with me. Not really in the way I believe Sartre intended it to (or the way it meshes with the rest of the novel), but it resonated in all the same. I HATE being touched by things. I don’t mind touching things at all. I am very interested in the tactile qualities of the world and different sensations I can get from various objects. Yet, there is nothing worse than the unexpected touch of something. It doesn’t matter much what the something is. It doesn’t have to be a nasty or uncomfortable something. Simply because I has made me aware of its being without me asking it to is offensive.

I’m not a germaphobe. I generally don’t get squeamish about things. Yet, I generally expect them to come into my world when I want them to, because they are things and have no free will of their own. I love plants, but if a plant unexpectedly touched me I would recoil simply from the unexpected shock. I am sure the plant intended no harm, but because it took on a trait of something sentient I would have a problem with it. Nothing I had ever come across articulated that sentiment more than that passage. It made me think.

I don’t like to have to think too much about my surroundings. That isn’t to say I don’t enjoy a philosophical discussion, it is simply to say that everything has a time and a place. Generally I like to simply enjoy life and to experience it in the way in which I choose. I guess that is why the unexpected touch of something bothers me. It isn’t something I chose to have in my purview. It just happened to me. I don’t think things just happen to you in general, I think we have a say in everything that happens in our lives. The random touch of something unexpected changes all that. And unbearable is the only way to describe it. I don’t get this same feeling when a person bumps into me, which is strange. There is something a lot creepier than being touched by a non-sentient object than a person who simply made an error in depth perception. I am sure that many people will disagree with me about that. I love a book that makes me realize things about myself that I never really took the time to examine before. That’s what life is really all about.

All the songs were guessed yesterday so it’s time for a new batch.

1. London calling to the faraway towns/ Now war is declared/ And battle come down. London Calling, The Clash. Identified by Johnny Yen

2. I’m waiting for the night to fall/ I know that it will save us all. Waiting For The Night, Depeche Mode. Identified by Janna

3. Won’t you/ Come see about me/ I’ll be alone/ Dancing/ You know it baby. Don't You Forget About Me, Simple Minds. Identified by Monica and Johnny Yen

4. Once upon a time/ A team of hungry birds came down on a dead body/ It was a dead deer. The Vultures Ate My Dead Ass Up, Wesley Willis. Identified by Janna

5. She’s not right/ I want something/ I want something tonight. She's Not Right, The Stooges. Identified by Johnny Yen


Johnny Yen said...

1. London Calling, the Clash, #5, "She's Not Right" by the Stooges. Rock on girl!

Hassan said...


Now you got me thinking.

Monica said...

#3 Don't you Forget About Me - Simple Minds.

Man, Shoshana is crazy. In no way shape or form am I Ignatius J. Reilly.

I am however a germophobe. Despite common belief, messy is not the same as dirty. I am messy as hell. I hate dirt and germs.

Mrs. Loquacious said...

I don't like when strangers' knees or elbows graze mine on the train. That is disgusting and they need to keep their body parts to themselves. Also, I dislike having other people's hair get in contact with me (e.g. sitting back to back in seats on our trains). I fear lice.

Other inanimate objects are not so bad as long as they aren't reaching out and touching me deliberately.

CSL said...

Hey, my first blog read on my new computer and it's (partly anyway) about compters. Fitting.

About the touch - hmmm. I have been trying to think whether that's trie for me. I love when I unexpectedly brush up against something soft or with a good texture, but am creeped out by anything cold that I'm not anicipating.

Johnny Yen said...

Took a bit of brainstorming, but got #3-- "Don't You Forget About Me.."-- Simple Minds

The first dozen of so times I heard that song, on my college radio station in 1985, I thought it was Bryan Ferry and/or Roxy Music. I felt like an idiot when I found out it was Simple Minds, who I knew of-- one of my college roommates was a huge fan of Simple Minds when they were obscure-- until I found out that the song had been written for Bryan Ferry, and he'd turned it down. He later expressed regret, since it ended up being a #1 song-- something neither he nor Roxy ever had.

"Breakfast Club" is one of my almost 70-year-old father's favorite movies.

RastaManErn said...

I am a bit phobic of germs. I hate touching things on public transport. I cringe everytime some gets a coughing a sneezing fit around this time of year. With all the hand shaking going on in this office, I am seriously contemplating getting some hand sanitizer for my desk (because I'm tired of going to the kitchen to wash my hands). And more great news: the flu has "reached epidemic proportions in Switzerland". Yay.

Janna said...

"Waiting For The Night", by Depeche Mode!!! ?!?!?!

Brooke said...

Ha Ha senior year - popping caffine pills and chugging coffee. Yeah, don't forget the red bull and ritalin. We had the right idea though, see, cause we avoided The Fear much longer than you.

With Love, Fat Girl said...

Germaphobes suck. I actually have an aunt that refused to kiss her children because she was scared of, you got it, germs.

Strange, strange people we have out there.

notfearingchange said...

LOL...sometimes people put you on a pedastal regarding our IT skills...just b/c we blog...and some of us may be looking at getting a large 40" flat screen so as to blog from the couch....and then they ask the simpliest of questions...and it's like dude - dont' know....they then take this as insult. *sigh*

hard world. ;-)
enjoy time with mum!

Eve said...

That's strange. I can't stand when other people touch me. Not for any germy reason, I'm just irritable I guess. The other day at yoga there was a long hair (not mine) stuck to my leg. It was gnarly.

Natalie said...

Johnny- Somehow I knew you would get those songs.

Hassan- Welcome, thinking is good.

Monica- You don't like germs but I know many people who are way more scared than you.

Mrs. L- I expect people to run into me on the train, during rush hour it would be impossible for them not to. Hair is gross though. I also hate people who sit by you and take up more room than they need to. Not because I find it gross, it's just rude.

CSL- It doesn't matter how nice something is. If I'm not expecting it I will jump.

Johnny (again)- Your knowledge of Simple Minds trivia astounds me.

Ern- Hand sanatizer is never bad. Particularly with lots of people around.

Janna- Yeah for the Mode.

Friend- I did have The Fear really bad. But I was able to pretend it wasn't there because of the substances.

With Love- That is to a whole nother level. I am so sad for those kids.

Not fearing- Blog from the couch eh...not bad.

Eve- Hair is just never ok to be touching if it isn;t yours. Once when I was on the train a clump of someone's hair fell into my book. I lost it.

terry said...

innnteresting. i'll have to pay more attention when i am touched by things to see if i react in this way.

i DO freak out when swimming in the ocean and a bit of seaweed or kelp touches my leg, but that's a whole other story.

Lizza said...

Wow, that was deep.

I can understand how you feel, even though my pet peeve is having people I'm not close to or don't even know, touching me.

Janna said...

This is one of the most bizarre things I have ever seen!!

Once upon a time, a team of hungry birds came down on a dead body
It was a dead deer
They sucked it deep into the dead deer
The vultures were hungry

The vultures, the vultures
The vultures, the vultures
The vultures
Ate my dead ass up

The vultures ate the deer like it was going out of style
They were eating on the skull
They were eating like dogs

The vultures
Ate my dead ass up

The vultures took off like a jet plane
They were flying United
They were flying at 150 miles per hour
They were flying like an airplane

Janna said...

By the way, that's
"The Vultures Ate My Dead Ass Up",
By Wesley Willis, (who apparently needs therapy!) :)

Natalie said...

Janna- Wesley should have had therapy he was schizophrenic. He may not have had enough as he was often homeless. Unfortunately he is now dead so he doesn't need it anymore. He did, however, record over 1000 fantastic songs. I love that man.

ShadowFalcon said...

i now have to see the breakfast club again