I have nothing delicious to write about on this particular Friday although I did just consume a delectable albeit overpriced quesadilla at Macy’s. In defense of it’s over pricedness it came with a salad, but not much of a salad. Yet, once I was done, the deliciousness of the marinated mushrooms, poblanos roasted with onions and Chihuahua cheese made me feel better about the price. It was essentially worth it. Yum.
Last night I had a very strange dream. I was back at school and it was the day before graduation. There were instances of stress-filled debauchery everywhere you could turn. People were breaking down, hooking up, and throwing up around every corner. A large portion of the dream took place in the public restroom. There weren’t many public restrooms at school and certainly not any of this size. The way the doors were arranged made no sense. One stall opened into the next, people talked while handling their business, gender separation was out the window, and dogs were abundant. It was a strange bathroom.
One of the oddest things about graduation was that people from both my High School and College were there. A few people that I never went to school with at all were there. Regardless of that fact, we were all graduating. The weirdest thing was that I had no idea what we were graduating from. Even though the dream took place at a school I don’t think it was a school graduation. I remember shady snippets of the earlier parts of the dream and they were more focused on parties and celebrations of achievements but not scholastic ones. Maybe we were graduating from life?
I miss graduations. I miss having a set end date by which time you will have exhibited your knowledge of a particular subject or subjects and that learning will be recognized. People that come to see you will be proud and will shake your hand. They will be there for you and your achievements. You are the center of attention at graduation. I don’t care if you graduate last in your class there are always some who don’t graduate at all. With graduation, even being the worst is something to celebrate. Not so with life.
In the greater experience that is life, your achievements are rarely recognized. Or, if they are, only a select group of people care. Instead your achievements are expected and seen as part of growing-up. If you get a promotion or a new job people might give you a pat on the back and maybe a piece of cake but the same outpour of support, excitement, and adoration just isn’t there. Instead people are jealous. They wonder why it is you and not them that gets the cake. They wish you well on your journey while they contemplate taking your stapler. You know you have the good one.
I guess if I want that overwhelming positive feeling of achievement while embracing and saying good-bye to a stage of life I better get my butt back to school. Even so, I know it won’t be the same. For adults things are just different. Everyone has their own agenda and even when it comes to education they do it differently. I’m never going to live in a dorm again. I’m never going to another school dance. I’m not going to participate in any of those activities that bring people together because I can’t. If I could I don’t even know if I would want to. I’m done with that.
So what was my dream telling me? Was it saying I am ready for a change? Was my mind telling me that I have reached the point where this stage of life can teach me no more and I have to move on? Was it just a really random dream that was made up of all the other dreams I had over the course of a long night that got jumbled together between the tones of the alarm and meant nothing? I may never know. I just know it made me feel warm and cozy and part of something old on it’s way to becoming something new.
1. I think I’ll walk to the moon/ I don’t think I’ll be back soon/ I’ll take some water and time/ And I’ll be fine/ Yes, I’ll be fine
2. There lived a certain man in Russia long ago/ He was big and strong in his eyes a flaming glow/ Most people looked at him with terror and with fear/ But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear. Rasputin, Boney M. Identified by The Doc. Who is incredibly cool for knowing this insane mess.
3. Stop the bus/ I want to be lonely/ When seconds pass slowly and years go flying by/ You gotta stop the bus/ And get off here.
2. Canyon girl/ ‘neath imaginary skies is beckoning/ in a fictional world/ I fear I got no business being in
5. Well I’m coming through your window/ I see your family there/ Well I’m the midnight creeper/ When I go creepin’ ya’ll better beware